Ch.4040. A Funeral Without Mourners

“What?”

Deus looked at me as if he thought he had misheard and asked again.

I opened my mouth to repeat what I’d said if he wanted to hear it again, but Deus urgently grabbed me by the collar.

“Lingering attachment? Did you say lingering attachment? You bastard! What? Are you trying to end me too? Put me to sleep? Huh?! You son of a bitch!”

“……”

“You crazy bastard! You’re the evil spirit! I’m the real Deus! How dare you reverse our roles, you fucking bastard!”

Bang!

His fist, swung violently with a twist of his waist, struck my face precisely.

I staggered backward, but I caught my breath and calmly looked at him.

“So that’s why you tried to kill me?”

“Yes! If I can’t exist as myself, I have to kill you! How dare you arbitrarily take over someone else’s body!”

Looking at Deus, who was acting as if he was about to charge at me again with rage, I could somewhat understand why people called him a ruffian.

Anyway.

There was only one reason I asked this.

“Then why didn’t the Verdi family try to kill me?”

“……”

Deus looked at me hesitantly, as if he was about to shout something. He seemed to have something to say right away, but he kept his mouth shut, perhaps out of pride.

“You only tried to kill me at the academy. You couldn’t act freely in the Verdi mansion.”

Deus slowly lowered his head. His tendency to clam up when confronted with what he perceived as his weakness was pitiful yet unsightly.

“I’m not asking because I don’t know the reason. Don’t think you can hide it by keeping quiet.”

“You…!”

“First, you were afraid of the other evil spirits. The Verdi mansion was full of evil spirits that toyed with you.”

The original Deus must have seen things like me inside his body. Numerous evil spirits roaming around the mansion, mocking him.

Deus couldn’t endure such an environment.

At least in Norsweden, the Verdi family name justified all his actions and prevented people from openly pointing fingers at him.

But after death, such things were completely useless, and everyone was equally a spirit.

So he was just hiding deeper inside me.

Because he didn’t want to be swept away by evil spirits and lose his identity and pride.

“But that wasn’t all. Even after I cleared out the evil spirits, you still didn’t come out.”

“……”

“And then, after returning to the academy, as soon as night fell, you came out like this and tried to kill me.”

“Shut. Up.”

Deus clenched his fist again and tried to swing at me, but this time I didn’t take the hit and slipped back slightly to avoid it.

Do you know how many beatings I took as a child when I talked to ghosts that others couldn’t see?

In fact, I could always dodge the punches of a drug-addicted good-for-nothing if I wanted to.

Thud!

Deus swung his fist through the air, lost his balance, and fell forward ungracefully.

Looking down at him, I confronted him with the truth he absolutely didn’t want to admit.

“Because there was a possibility.”

“Stop!”

“Just as I did with your body, you realized that you actually had a possibility to restore everything.”

“Shut up! Shut up! I said shut up!”

Overwhelmed with anger, Deus pounded the floor with his fist and was shedding hot tears again.

“You thought you couldn’t change anymore. You thought the turning point in your life had already passed.”

“Stop talking!”

“So you regretted it. You didn’t want to admit that things could have gone differently.”

Looking at Deus, who was sobbing and slumped down, I knelt on one knee and placed my hand on his back.

“You wanted me to fall apart. That’s why you always tried to kill me while at the academy, but after I was dismissed, there was no need to kill me anymore.”

Because he thought I was following the same path to ruin as he had.

But I returned to the academy. I was reinstated as a professor with much better conditions.

If things continued this way, he would have to face the reality that there could have been other possibilities for him.

So Deus moved again to try to kill me, and this time he thought he had succeeded.

“I needed to do this once to have a conversation with you. I trusted that there were capable professors and guards treating the injured right below, so I threw myself down.”

I threw myself down believing they could provide immediate first aid since they were right there.

In the end, I considered it a success.

“Deus, I’ve been thinking hard about what your lingering attachment might be.”

Sincerely.

I’ve racked my brain countless times trying to understand the man called Deus.

“You want to kill me. That was certainly one of your attachments.”

“……”

He didn’t answer and curled up his body. He just trembled and sobbed as if our conversation had stripped him naked.

“Another one is that you want to see the person you love. I thought it might be something like that.”

Drop.

He slowly raised his head. On his disheveled face, an emotion of bewilderment arose.

“Illuania. The only woman you truly loved among the countless women you’ve been with.”

“N-no. I…!”

“It was the first time. The first time I felt someone else’s emotions so deeply in my heart, not my own.”

That’s why I was surprised when I first saw Illuania on the streets of Norsweden.

The moment I saw her, I immediately knew she was the woman Deus truly loved.

Deus sincerely wanted to be with Illuania.

“Spending nights together, comforting each other while high on drugs, and then making love again the next day.”

They were completely different in terms of social class—a prostitute and a count’s family. But in bed, they were equal lovers and understood each other.

“You gradually developed feelings for her, but couldn’t express them.”

Every warm word from the prostitute must have given Deus emotions he had never felt before.

But unfortunately.

“Illuania became pregnant.”

“Kuhb!”

Deus knew this too. He must have known since he was watching Illuania from within me.

“What she needed was someone who could pour absolute and unchanging love on her. And that wasn’t you. It couldn’t be you or anyone else.”

She wanted a child of her own blood. She might have loved Deus during their time together.

But Illuania was professional enough to neatly organize all her emotions when the time was over, and she had wounds that made it difficult for her to love others easily.

“That bitch! After promising love with me like that! After saying we’d be together! That fucking woman, with another man’s child…!”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

With each blow to the floor, Deus’s despair was palpable.

“Why! Why! Why do these things only happen to me! Why do I only find out about these things after everything is over!”

Looking at Deus, who was screaming, despairing, and pounding his chest until it broke, I coldly declared:

“You’re still selfish.”

“…What?”

“You still think you’re the only victim, and you’re still blaming others.”

“I, I am!”

“There’s Deia right now. There are also numerous maids who were harassed by you. I can say this because I’m the one bearing the weight of your evil deeds, the more I dig into them.”

“……”

To Deus, who was staring at me with his mouth wide open, I clicked my tongue and answered:

“You’re the worst scum, Deus.”

“Ah.”

“And you don’t get a second chance. You know that.”

Deus, as if this was the very last thing he wanted to hear, hurriedly turned his body and started to run away.

But before he could take even a few steps, he slipped and pathetically crawled on the floor.

“You’re already dead.”

What was the cause of death?

Overdosing on drugs?

Or was his brain soaked in alcohol?

Did he have a sudden cardiac arrest in the name of judgment?

I don’t know.

I really don’t know.

He just closed his eyes, falling into a sleep that was too peaceful compared to the evil deeds he had committed, and I woke up.

So that’s why Deus tried to kill me too.

He knew he had no chance of coming back to life, so he could throw his body without hesitation.

“I don’t judge good and evil; I just listen to the souls’ stories and help their wishes if I think they’re worthy.”

I walked toward him as he lay there ungracefully. He shouted at me not to come closer, but then he tired himself out, sprawled out, and cried.

“You are the only soul I don’t understand, don’t think is worthy, but still want to help.”

Because I’m using your body.

I intended to pay the price for that.

“Deia and Darius, whom you hurt. I will show a new Deus to them and many others. Proud and dignified enough that old memories won’t resurface.”

“……”

“Illuania, the only one you loved, will no longer have to work in dirty brothels; she’ll raise her child with a stable job. I’ll make sure she and her child live a happy life. Of course, I’ll also make her quit drugs.”

“……”

“Deus Verdi, this is the only gift I can give you.”

He didn’t look at me.

“Damn it.”

He seemed to be reflecting on his life while crying.

“Keep your promise, you bastard.”

The words he casually threw at me.

Hearing that, I recited a eulogy for the deceased.

“You were terribly selfish and left many wounds on countless people. That can’t be excused by any words.”

Without tears flowing, without the sound of wailing.

Deus Verdi’s quiet funeral that no one could attend.

Deus was slowly turning into light from his toes up, but he didn’t resist at all.

“That’s why no one regrets your death or misses you. This is your karma and the result of the sins you’ve accumulated.”

He was still crying. There was a lot of regret and complicated sadness in his tears.

“But at the very end.”

I calmly closed my eyes and folded my hands neatly.

“You, who never thought of others for even a moment, finally gave a chance to just one person at the end.”

I slowly bowed my head, pretending not to see his desperate end.

“As the person who received that chance, if I can offer you some comfort.”

Would this provide even a little solace to him as he departed?

That wasn’t important.

“At the very end, you made a choice for someone else and shed tears of regret. You were definitely a person who could have changed.”

This is the only comfort I can offer as someone who received a new life from you.

“Be satisfied with that and close your eyes in peace.”

When I opened my eyes again, Deus Verdi was already gone.

I don’t know if he was still crying until the moment of his death, or if he received some comfort.

But.

Finding myself having become Deus Verdi, I turned around without hesitation.

“May you fall into a sleep deep enough to forget yourself.”