Ch.38Jealousy and Envy

When I was deliberately ignoring the Second Prince’s gaze, which was looking at me with complicated eyes for some reason, I knocked on the door of the Princess’s bedroom.

Soon, permission to enter came from inside. As I pushed open the door, a cool autumn breeze blew through the slightly opened window.

“Ah, welcome! Rian.”

“Thank you for accepting my request, Luca.”

The two women greeted their respective companions. Somehow, I felt a strange warmth in my chest at how peaceful this scene seemed.

“I’ve returned.”

“This is nothing.”

Similarly, we each responded to our companions. It was just that, but it felt strange. Not a bad feeling, but somehow confusing… that kind of strange feeling.

After a brief exchange of greetings, the Princess gently took Serin’s hands.

“Then may I consider that you’ve accepted my proposal?”

“Of course. What kind of people do you think we are?”

I wondered what kind of people we were for Serin to make such a bold claim.

“A people of justice, aren’t we?”

“Yes, that’s right. Heh… whew…”

The Princess laughed heartily, easily accepting the answer.

I see. So we were a people of justice.

Perhaps this was information recorded only in the imperial secret books of the Bellonin Empire. Therefore, I resolved to keep the truth that we were a people of justice secret for the rest of my life. After all, a guard knight should have lips as heavy as a mountain.

“Thank you. I would have been at a loss without you.”

“Come on, it’s not like I’m doing this for free.”

“This is practically free. I’ll make sure to fulfill your condition at the appropriate time.”

“There’s nothing more important to me than that.”

Serin glanced at me. As soon as our eyes met, she quickly turned her gaze back to the Princess.

“I’m counting on you, Sister Narin.”

“Likewise, I’m counting on you, Serin.”

The two women shook hands warmly. The tense atmosphere that had existed until I left the room was completely gone, replaced by an air of intimacy between them.

But I was faced with no small shock.

‘The Princess… called Serin by her name…’

I had no memory of Serin being called “Serin” until now.

She had always been addressed as “Princess,” “Your Highness,” or occasionally “Seriniel” by her father and mother. Those were the only forms of address I knew.

I had been the only one to call Serin by her name. Even though it was a nickname Serin had been forced to use when she couldn’t reveal that she was a princess during our first meeting.

‘This is… somehow…’

Not good.

If I had to express it, it was close to an unpleasant feeling.

I could pinpoint the cause of this feeling. I disliked the Princess calling Serin by her nickname.

But that was as far as it went.

As for why I disliked the Princess calling Serin by her nickname, I found it difficult to dig into the cause.

I just disliked it. Like a child throwing an illogical tantrum.

It was unfamiliar.

From when I was abandoned in the slums during my childhood until meeting Rodrick and reaching the present, I had never thrown tantrums… so I wondered why this childish sentiment was standing tall in my heart now.

‘How pathetic. Even Eshtiel wouldn’t act like this.’

As I continued my scathing self-criticism, Serin stood up and extended her hand to me. It was a gesture asking for an escort.

Though it was a private setting and unnecessary for someone as strong as Serin, I said nothing. I simply wanted to do it for her. Before she could extend her hand to the Second Prince who was positioned beside me.

“You’ve been waiting long, haven’t you, Rian?”

“I didn’t feel that way at all.”

“Really? You must have enjoyed chatting with the Second Prince.”

“Yes. It was enjoyable and comfortable.”

“Hmmmm?”

Serin furrowed her brow. When she turned her head sharply toward the Second Prince, he flinched as if startled.

“E-enjoyable? Comfortable…? Did Sir Rihart truly feel that way…”

The Second Prince then rubbed his face with his hands.

“Sniff…! I see. So it was that enjoyable and comfortable…”

Somehow the Second Prince was sniffling as if he was about to cry. I was quite confused by his behavior, which made no sense to me.

“Though my acquaintance with you is brief… I know enough that you may withhold words, but you don’t lie.”

It was the same assessment as Serin’s. She too had said that I might be sparing with words but didn’t lie.

The Second Prince suddenly approached and grabbed my hand opposite to the one Serin was holding.

“At least while you’re staying in the kingdom, please consider me a friend. I will certainly cooperate in the small matters of Sir Rihart’s daily life. I would like you to be my first friend.”

“Luca, I thought I was your first friend?”

“That’s a friend, a friend. It’s different from a close friend.”

“… I see, so that’s how it is.”

The Princess seemed somewhat displeased.

I had no way of knowing which part had upset her, nor did I need to know.

In any case, having someone of the Second Prince’s stature offer to be my friend was a rare opportunity. For the sake of future relations, I couldn’t afford to miss this chance.

“Thank you for your kindness, Second Prince. I’m honored.”

“Friends don’t need to stick to such formal speech. Call me Luca. You don’t need honorifics in private, so speak casually.”

“Umm, hmm…”

Calling the Second Prince by his name or speaking casually wasn’t so easy. Until now, I had consistently used formal speech with everyone except Rodrick, Eshtiel, and my mercenary comrades.

At that moment, Serin interrupted.

“Rian seems uncomfortable. Let’s talk about this another time…”

“Just a moment, Serin.”

“Rian…?”

Irreverently, I cut off Serin’s words. It would be problematic to dismiss the Second Prince like this.

I must honestly admit it. The Second Prince’s invitation was attractive from a practical standpoint, but it meant even more to me.

‘This is my first real friend…’

During our journey to take Serin to the imperial palace in the past, she had refused to become friends. It seemed a silver badge wasn’t enough as a friendship fee. Well, being a princess, it made sense she wouldn’t be satisfied with that.

Then what about the Second Prince?

“The friendship fee… I mean, the close friendship fee… how much is it?”

“What?”

The Second Prince opened his eyes wide, then burst into laughter, forgetting all dignity.

“Pfft, hahahahaha! What kind of thing is that between friends? Friends don’t need any compensation.”

“R-really?”

This was incredible.

Even someone as kind as Serin had wanted a friendship fee, but what kind of magnanimous man was this Second Prince?

I released Serin’s arm and slowly approached the Second Prince.

“Then… can we become friends just like this?”

“Of course, if you’re willing.”

“… Thank you, Second Prince.”

“I told you to speak casually.”

Though he showed his goodwill, I couldn’t readily comply. It was difficult to break a lifelong habit.

“Formal speech is a habit that’s hard to correct, so I’ll improve gradually. So… I look forward to our friendship. Thank you, Luca.”

“Likewise, I look forward to it, Sir Rihart.”

I was happy.

I had my first friend. Though Luca was older than me, it didn’t matter. I was simply grateful that my relationships had expanded beyond Rodrick, Eshtiel, and Serin.

“W-what is this atmosphere… Rian?”

“Ah. I’ve kept you waiting. I’m sorry, Serin.”

“… It’s nothing. Not really.”

Serin softened her slightly sullen gaze and bid farewell to the Princess.

“We’ll be going now. See you again soon. Don’t bother seeing us off when you’re not feeling well.”

“Mmm… thank you. See you later.”

With such awkward farewells, our paths diverged.

“… Luca, let’s have a talk.”

“Hmm? Sure.”

Beyond the closing bedroom door, the Princess called Luca back with a somewhat stern voice. In contrast, Luca sat down in the chair where Serin had been sitting with an innocent expression. That was the last scene I witnessed in the bedroom. Our first parting happened in such a way.

Meanwhile, Serin and I boarded the carriage to return to the mansion we had been given as our residence. I was puzzled by Serin’s unusual quietness, but I assumed she had her reasons and didn’t pry.

Above all… I kept recalling when the Princess had called Serin by her nickname, and it made me reluctant to engage with Serin. I felt like if we conversed now, I might make an inappropriate slip of the tongue.

‘A slip of the tongue? What kind of slip would I…’

I was aware that it was Serin’s freedom to allow others to use her nickname. What kind of mistake could I possibly make?

While I was deep in thought, Serin spoke to me in a grumbling tone.

“Hey, Rian.”

“Yes, what is it, Serin?”

“Are you happy… being friends with the Second Prince?”

“To quote Luca, he’s my first true friend. Honestly… I’m pleased.”

At my answer, Serin jumped up.

“First? What about me?”

“Serin… our friendship was nullified due to insufficient friendship fee, wasn’t it?”

“W-what?!”

Serin exclaimed loudly. She sat down next to me with a thud and pressed me with questions.

“When did I ever ask for a friendship fee…! Well, let’s put that aside. If I’m not even a friend, then what am I to you, Rian?”

“Hmm…”

It was certainly a relationship difficult to define. Not a friend, and certainly not family. Yet it would be inappropriate to consider her a complete stranger.

Finding it hard to answer, I simply expressed what I felt.

“Serin is… Serin. That’s what I think.”

“So in the end, I’m nothing?”

“No. I mean… Serin is my superior and someone I should respect as an imperial citizen. And…”

…

……

I couldn’t continue. As I firmly closed my mouth, Serin seemed about to press me further.

But then I thought it was unfair to be questioned like this. So I spoke up before Serin could open her mouth.

“How did you become so close with the Princess?”

“People can become close when they talk, you know.”

“You seemed excessively close.”

“She turned out to be a nice person.”

“Enough to allow her to use your nickname in less than half a day?”

“Ha. No, that’s…!”

Serin’s retort was suddenly cut short.

“…… Huh…?”

Her sullen face suddenly went blank as if she had lost her senses. It was as if a messily colored canvas had been bleached white in an instant.

In the suffocating silence, Serin asked with a trembling voice.

“Rian… could this be jealousy?”

“Pardon?”

“I’m asking if you’re jealous of Sister Narin… the Rupenter Princess.”

“Jealous… you say?”

Jealousy?

Like how the poor envy the rich,

How the weak envy the strong,

How the plain envy the beautiful.

Is that how Serin is suggesting I viewed her and the Princess?

Me, who has lived a life unconnected to envy?

“Pfft, ha…”

Serin’s cheeks twitched.

Her flat gaze had already formed a gentle curve.

“Haa… what should I do? They say if you cry then laugh, something bad happens.”

“Serin?”

“It’s because someone is the cutest thing in the world, I’m really worried about that.”

Serin moved uncomfortably close to me. Then her warm body temperature began to spread through my hand, from the back to between my fingers.

“Well, I should start by acknowledging the familiar.”

“What do you mean…?”

“It’s obvious.”

Serin smiled brightly.

“I was jealous.”

“What…”

“The distance I worked so hard to close, someone else narrowed in less than half a day. So I felt deflated, and feeling deflated made me angry… and a little resentful…”

Her voice trailed off, then with a small chuckle, she summarized her thoughts.

“I wanted to confront you about it. But now I’m fine. I’m confident that I’m steadily making progress. So… I’m sorry for holding you up for a moment, Rian.”

“…”

Serin’s apology filled me with self-reproach.

Why should Serin ramble on with excuses and apologies like this? All I could understand was that she was being considerate of me.

I needed to apologize too.

“I’m sorry as well.”

“For what?”

“Probably for similar reasons as you, I was overcome with unpleasant feelings. I have no right to feel that way, and it’s unbecoming of me as your official guard. I want to ask for your forgiveness.”

“Really?”

Though I offered my apology sincerely, Serin was grinning as if something pleased her.

“Wow, you’ve improved a lot. The old Rian would have immediately asked to be dismissed and even offered to pay a penalty fee…”

“Indeed, that might have been the case.”

“What’s changed to make you act this way now?”

“I’m not sure.”

Perhaps it’s that I don’t want to leave Serin hastily.

Maybe it’s because the experience of my black and white world gradually regaining its colors is invaluable to me.

“In any case, it seems I like you, Serin.”

At that moment, her entire body froze like a statue.

The body temperature in contact with the back of my hand rose as if burned. When I looked at Serin out of concern, her arms were already strongly wrapped around my neck.

“Oof…?”

“Don’t look…”

“What…? Serin?”

I called out to her in confusion, my face suddenly buried in her chest. It was a posture that could cause a woman to feel shame if she realized the situation.

Fortunately, Serin wasn’t wearing clothes that exposed her chest. I was sincerely relieved about that.

“Stay like this for a moment. Right now, I’m feeling a bit embarrassed…”

“Ugh.”

“That’s completely unfair… no matter how much I attack, someone naturally pokes at my weakness… I’m always at a disadvantage.”

“I’m… sorry…?”

“Ugh… staying like this seems to make it worse… but I don’t want to show you this either…”

“Would it help if I closed my eyes?”

“It’s fine… just… stay like this a little longer. This is all your fault anyway, Rian.”

“…? Understood.”

A strong scent of wild grass, infused with warm temperature, distorted my senses.

It felt as if my world was completely filled with Serin.

I didn’t dislike that sensation.

If possible, I wanted to commit the mistakes she was blaming me for more often.