Ch.384IF Side Story: Seems I’ve Arrived a Bit Early (81)

When I think about it, life doesn’t seem all that bad.

Of course, this statement wouldn’t apply to everyone. There are countless different environments in this world, and I was just fortunate enough to be born into circumstances where I could maintain this kind of life.

Even if this world is somewhat of a strange fantasy, there are many things around me that make me feel the world is a decent place.

Take Kagami’s existence, for instance.

Kagami could have been someone else.

Kagami, who gave birth to me at such a young age and had to take responsibility for me. If Kagami had despaired at the world even a little more, if she had found my existence bothersome—no, if she hadn’t thought to protect me from the beginning, my life might have been so broken it couldn’t even be called a life.

There’s a good chance I wouldn’t have survived at all.

The existence of that one person completely changed my life.

Many people have helped me. And many have helped Kagami too. But for me, the greatest cause of this life began with just one person: Kagami.

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

I called out to Kagami, who was clattering around preparing something in the kitchen, and she turned to look at me from across the dining table.

Despite all those years of hardship, youth still remained on Kagami’s face. Rather than simply being blessed with good genes, it was probably evidence that she had struggled from too young an age.

“Kotone?”

Seeing Kagami tilt her head while looking at me, I couldn’t help but smile a little.

“It’s nothing.”

Kagami tilted her head to the other side, then placed a tray of sliced fruit on the table.

“When did you say your appointment was?”

“We still have some time.”

“Are the Sasaki siblings coming too?”

“No, just Shii.”

Shii is quite thorough about these things.

She knows her brother is quite handsome.

In novels, there’s always that description of “an ordinary male high school student,” but honestly, his appearance is far from ordinary. Souta just had a bit of a wall between him and girls because he wasn’t good with words, but if he’d been a little more sociable, he would have been incredibly popular since elementary school.

So, not telling Souta about this is probably under the pretext of “preventive measures.”

…Though it seems I’m fine despite that. Does she think I’m not attractive enough?

“Lately, every time I visit, Shii seems a bit wary…”

“…”

At the mention of Shii, Kagami placed a hand on her cheek with a serious, contemplative expression.

Kagami can’t help it because just as I’ve consistently cared for the Sasaki siblings, Kagami has been attentive to them too. When she makes too many side dishes, she visits them directly to deliver them, and the two often come over to our house to play.

For a while, Shii treated Kagami with the same attitude she had toward me.

Perhaps because her father’s guard has lowered a bit, lately Souta has also been acting strangely shy whenever he sees Kagami.

…But wait, isn’t Kagami publicly a married woman?

Could it be that while staying at our house, they noticed that Kagami and Dad aren’t actually a real couple? With Shii’s perceptiveness, that might be possible.

“It’s because Mom is too pretty.”

“What?!”

When I suddenly dropped this bombshell statement, Kagami covered her cheeks with both hands in surprise.

“Oh, what are you saying?”

But Kagami quickly seemed to realize it was a joke and waved one hand dismissively. Yet her other hand remained on her cheek, and her face was slightly flushed.

Hmm, at this age, it’s natural for Kagami to be treated as a married woman, but she still has looks that others would likely find attractive.

…I said earlier that she struggled from too young an age, but thinking about it again, it’s not simply because she was “actually young.” Perhaps it’s a family trait after all.

Lost in these irrelevant thoughts, I picked up a piece of peach with my fork.

“Hey, Kotone.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going through puberty?”

I almost spat out the peach I was chewing.

“No…”

After finally swallowing the peach, I opened my mouth but then fell into thought.

Wait, will I go through something like puberty? Timing-wise, now would be exactly when it should happen.

Why does puberty occur? Human psychological states are governed by various chemicals secreted by the brain. That’s when people truly begin to awaken to sexuality and become excited about absolutely everything.

Getting irritated at everything, speech becoming rough. The period when most of life’s dark history is created—

That’s what they say, but I don’t think my personality has ever become that sharp.

No, more than that.

Kagami was about my age. When she first gave birth to me.

Kagami, holding me in her arms as she fled, would have been about the same age as I am now.

Giving up on going to school, giving up on living under her parents, giving up on making friends, just running away with me, a newborn baby.

Even Kagami might have—gone through puberty. Even if she hugged me and said she loved me in front of me, there might have been countless times when she wanted to give up everything.

How did she feel having to work and raise a young child at an age when others were going to school and living under their parents’ care?

Or was she so overwhelmed by the hardship that she didn’t even have time to experience those emotions?

“…”

“Kotone?”

What was it like for you, Mom?

That’s what I wanted to ask.

What was it like for you back then? What were you thinking while raising me? How much did you struggle? But Kagami wouldn’t answer. Until I was in the upper grades of elementary school, Kagami never told me how hard she worked.

It wasn’t until much later that I could see her dripping with sweat as she simmered broth or stir-fried food in front of a hot stove, even in the middle of summer.

Even at my current age, Kagami must have been doing such work continuously.

The greatest pain must have been what she felt when giving birth to me. At that young age, she endured unimaginable pain to bring me into this world.

…I almost wished that Kagami wasn’t my birth mother. Maybe she was just an older sister with a big age difference. If so, she wouldn’t have experienced such pain.

But I have no right to rationalize it that way. My existence symbolizes the greatest hardship in Kagami’s life.

And it was obvious that I would continue to occupy that place for a long time to come.

“Kotone.”

“Huh?”

Kagami’s voice finally brought me back to reality. I must have been lost in thought, holding my fork without picking anything up.

Kagami looked at me quietly for a moment, as if wondering what I was thinking, then got up from her seat.

She came around the table and sat down beside me.

Gently extending her hand, she pulled me into her embrace.

Even now, I sleep with Kagami. I prefer it that way. Kagami can’t always be by my side, but when she can be, I want to feel that fact more clearly.

Even though we sleep embracing each other every day, the sensation of Kagami hugging me never feels unwelcome.

“You don’t need to share all your thoughts. Everyone has secrets they don’t want to tell others.”

“…”

“But I’m always here. If there’s something troubling you too much to handle alone, you can come to me and talk about anything.”

I couldn’t say anything in response.

I was afraid that just by asking, I would be burdening Kagami.

After that, Kagami didn’t say anything more.

She just held me tightly in her arms, gently stroking my hair.

No matter how much I might not be an ordinary human. Even if I might seem no different from those monsters. To Kagami, I was just her daughter.

A precious, one-of-a-kind existence that she must protect forever.

My fingertips trembled slightly.

I put down my fork and hugged Kagami back.

Now… now, I have to protect her. Souta, Shii, Yuka, they’re all important characters in the novel. They’re beings who absolutely must not die for the story to progress. If this world really is similar to that story, they’ll probably survive without my intervention.

But Kagami is different.

A being whose name doesn’t even appear in the novel. She might have appeared sometime later, but without my knowledge, I don’t know what role she played. She might die as an extra without her name ever being mentioned.

That can’t happen. For a life that has suffered so much to meet such an unfortunate end would be too cruel.

So I don’t care what happens to me.

I just want to protect Kagami. By any means necessary, even if I have to risk my life—

Swallowing those words, I simply remained in Kagami’s embrace.

…Even as I thought this, I felt pathetic for seeking comfort from others in this moment.