Ch.380380. I’d Rather Die Than Eat

Time passed and it was Saturday morning.

The day had finally arrived. The weekend that no one had been waiting for—the day my sister would come to our house and cook for us.

It was now five minutes before the time my sister was supposed to arrive. My kids, who had woken up unusually early today, were waiting for my sister and brother-in-law with faces like cattle being led to slaughter.

“…Dad. Are Auntie and Uncle really coming?”

“Yeah, they’re really coming. They said they’ll be here soon.”

After checking my sister’s message and relaying it, Uhee’s face darkened as if she’d heard something she didn’t want to hear. It seems the despair she felt when she first tasted my sister’s cooking years ago is still vivid in her memory.

Well, Uhee’s reaction isn’t exaggerated at all. My sister’s cooking is nothing short of catastrophic.

As I’ve mentioned before, my sister’s cooking that our family tasted back then was like doenjang jjigae without doenjang. If you’re wondering how someone could possibly make doenjang jjigae without doenjang… I didn’t want to know either.

It was beyond my imagination, but somehow it was possible. Doenjang jjigae without doenjang.

“They won’t suddenly have an emergency right before arriving, will they…?”

Hwa Nabi asked anxiously while hugging Uhee tightly. Like mother, like daughter—they look so cute clinging to each other like that.

I watched the heartwarming scene for a moment before stroking my chin and answering.

“Nabi, give up. She said she cleared her entire schedule just to come cook for us.”

“…Don’t tell me she’s planning to cook dinner too after lunch?”

“No, she said she’ll just make lunch and then leave to spend a cozy evening with just the two of them.”

“Oh, really? Phew, that’s a relief…”

Genuinely relieved, the look-alike mother and daughter simultaneously sighed and murmured that it was fortunate.

Finding it cute, I walked over and gently stroked Hwa Nabi’s hair.

“Why, do you dislike my sister’s cooking that much?”

“Huh? Oh, no. It’s not that I dislike it…”

“But you don’t exactly like it either?”

“…Yes.”

She admits it readily when asked directly. I like her unadorned honesty. I smiled and gently stroked her hair, adding to reassure her:

“This won’t do. After my sister leaves, I’ll have to show off my skills for dinner.”

“Oh… you’ll cook yourself, dear?”

“Yeah, I haven’t been able to cook for you lately because I’ve been busy, right? I have time today, so I want to cook myself. You don’t dislike that, do you?”

“Of course not! I love anything you cook, dear.”

“Dad, me too! I can eat anything Dad makes!”

Looking at Uhee who chimed in eagerly, I thought to myself that while lunch might be hell, I’d make dinner heavenly for them.

Well, my sister claims her cooking skills have improved… but in my experience, people who can’t cook continue to be unable to cook. Why? Because they don’t follow basic recipes and keep trying their own arrangements.

For example, if a recipe calls for 50g of salt but they don’t have any, they’ll use 50g of seasoned salt instead. Or if they don’t have corn syrup, they’ll add more sugar instead. That sort of thing.

Needless to say, cooking like that breaks the balance of flavors and results in food that’s neither here nor there. Something that should be sweet and salty in perfect balance ends up with no taste and just a dry texture. Or a stew that’s either too bland or too salty to eat. Failed dishes usually have reasons behind them.

But people who can’t cook don’t understand this. They’ll insist they followed the recipe when the only thing they measured correctly was the water. They’ll complain that despite following the recipe exactly, the food tastes strange, and they’ll be quick to blame the recipe creator.

Of course, I’m not saying my sister is that type of person. I’m just saying most people who can’t cook are like that. Most.

Yes, “most.”

“…Hmm.”

Anyway, I deliberately skipped breakfast to build up an appetite. When you’re hungry, anything tastes decent, so it should be more palatable than last time.

I approached Ucheon, who was sitting quietly in his chair, held his hand firmly and said:

“Ucheon, just bear with it for a little while. Dad will make something delicious for dinner later. Okay?”

“Okay, Dad.”

His determined and brave response puts my mind at ease. That’s how a boy should be.

—Ding dong.

“…!”

Just as I was about to chat with Ucheon, the familiar doorbell sound rang from the smart home controller. At this hour, there could only be one person calling at our house.

Sensing the inevitable had arrived, our family turned to look at each other simultaneously.

“…Dear.”

“Yeah, should I answer…?”

[—Ah, hello? Siwoo, your sister’s here!]

“Oh, you arrived earlier than expected?”

The small camera shows my sister’s face. My brother-in-law is beside her, and behind them are grocery bags full of something. I had told her I would prepare the ingredients, but it seems she stopped by a nearby mart to shop anyway.

Hmm, this disrupts my plan to guide her toward making a foolproof dish that’s hard to mess up. But I can’t just not open the door, so I pressed the gate release button.

“Dear, what I just glimpsed…”

“Yeah, those look like cooking ingredients.”

“Then she must have already decided what to cook?”

“Almost certainly. She probably bought everything according to a recipe.”

Hwa Nabi rubbed her forehead after I revealed the cold reality.

For Hwa Nabi, who’s always composed except when it comes to matters involving me, to react this way… what kind of power does my sister’s homemade cooking possess?

As I was marveling in a different sense, there was soon a commotion at our front door, followed by the doorbell.

—Siwoo!

—Brother-in-law, we’re here.

“…They’re here.”

“Oh, they’re here…”

“…Dad.”

As if they’d heard the voice of a grim reaper, Hwa Nabi and Uhee turned pale. Though I’m not showing it, I’m just as tense, so the only one in our family who seems calm is Ucheon.

Our Ucheon, perhaps taking after me, is truly manly. Feeling proud inside, I hugged Hwa Nabi and Uhee slightly to calm them down.

After steeling myself for a moment, I took a deep breath and opened the front door.

“Sis, you’re here? Brother-in-law, you’re here too.”

“Yes, there wasn’t much traffic so we got here quickly.”

“Hi, Siwoo. Can you take these?”

My sister handed me two heavy plastic bags. As I carried them to the kitchen and took a quick look, I saw there were quite a lot of items.

Just listing what I could see: several leaves of napa cabbage, bok choy, bean sprouts, cilantro, beef brisket, beef bone broth, mushrooms, cheese rice cakes, vermicelli, noodles, and finally tofu.

What dish could be made with these ingredients? As I was mentally going through recipes, I suddenly realized.

“…Huh?”

Wait, could this be… ingredients for a soup dish? And not Korean but Chinese?

I looked again with wide eyes. No way, it couldn’t be. But looking again, it was undeniable. Just from the ingredients, it was 100% a broth-based dish.

Looking more carefully, I found malatang sauce at the very bottom. Only then did I become certain and was internally shocked.

Wow, this is bad. Malatang is one of the dishes beginners should never attempt. Because dishes that require making and simmering broth are not easy to season properly.

If you get the seasoning wrong, it becomes bland, and if you overdo it, it becomes too salty, sweet, and spicy. Plus, adding just a bit too much cilantro can make it too bitter to eat, which happens all too often with Chinese dishes like malatang…

And my sister is trying to make that now.

“…”

Does she really think malatang is easy just because people say it is? It’s only easy for someone like me who has some knowledge about cooking, not for someone like my sister whose cooking knowledge is a blank slate!

I should have never said I wanted something spicy when she asked what I wanted to eat. I regretted it now, but it was too late.

With trembling hands, I laid out the ingredients on the table and glanced behind me.

“Sister-in-law, it feels like it’s been a while since we last met, right?”

“Ah, yes. Welcome. Did you have any trouble getting here?”

“It’s not that far, so no trouble at all. Oh, Uhee!”

“Oh, h-hello. Auntie, Uncle…”

My family was exchanging greetings with my sister and brother-in-law with somewhat stiff faces, unaware of the impending disaster.

I wanted to rush over and tell them to pretend to have a stomachache or make up an urgent matter. But if I did that now, wouldn’t it be obvious? After taking out all the ingredients, I worried internally. Was there any way to prevent this predicted catastrophe?

The simplest solution would be for my sister to suddenly have an urgent matter, but that’s beyond my control, so that’s out. Then perhaps targeting my brother-in-law would be the right approach?

Yes. As the saying goes, to defeat the general, aim for his horse first—rather than trying to directly influence my sister, it would be faster to manipulate my brother-in-law. Even my stubborn sister seems to listen to everything her husband says now that she’s a newlywed.

“Excuse me, brother-in-law.”

Having made up my mind, I approached my brother-in-law. What would be the best way to persuade him?

Should I try gentle persuasion? Or should I say I’d rather die than eat my sister’s malatang? As I was seriously considering these two options, my brother-in-law noticed me approaching and patted my shoulder, whispering quietly:

“…Brother-in-law, I know exactly what you’re worried about.”

“What? What do you mean…?”

“Our Jin Jiyu isn’t… exactly skilled at cooking, is she?”

“…”

…Did he already know? About my sister’s catastrophic cooking skills?

I gaped at my brother-in-law without realizing it.

He looked back at me silently, glanced at my sister to confirm she wasn’t paying attention to us, and added:

“But don’t worry. I’ll be by her side today.”

“Um… what?”

“I’m the second son of the Unseung Group, you know.”

I was about to ask what that had to do with anything when it suddenly dawned on me.

The Unseung Group is a major player in the food industry.

Then, him being the second son of the Unseung Group means…?

“I’m quite good at cooking. Better than you might think.”

“Oh, so…”

“So, you can relax completely.”

My brother-in-law winked at me.

“I’ll let you experience what properly made malatang tastes like.”

“…Ah!”