Ch.376IF Side Story: Seems I’ve Arrived a Bit Early (73)

Sometimes, there are people who claim they’ve become criminals because of their unfortunate past.

Because they grew up without love as children. Because they were too poor. Because they had no parents. Because they lived under oppression.

They steal things, or behave strangely beyond what others can tolerate, or bully someone, or kill someone.

Perhaps stealing could be understood. While Japan does have minimal safety nets to help the poor, someone without proper education might not know about them. Or if they somehow fall through the cracks of those safety nets and can’t receive proper help. One might not be able to completely condemn someone who steals a loaf of bread when they’re on the verge of starvation.

But anything beyond that…

Having been abused while growing up is no excuse for bullying others. I don’t think it justifies sexual assault or murder either. The moment someone crosses a certain line, their past becomes irrelevant, and ultimately, all that remains in their place is a criminal.

There are people who try their best to live honestly despite similar circumstances. Not everyone who faced such situations went on to hurt or kill others.

Such things happen regardless of whether one has much money or not.

If we assume that “such situations” create “such people,” then people will end up viewing everyone in “such situations” as potential criminals.

Rather, the ones who aren’t safe when these things happen are those who were just struggling to live earnestly in the same situations.

Like Kagami.

“……”

I don’t know what kind of person Kagami was before she gave birth to me. She might have committed crimes. Or perhaps Kagami’s parents or people like them did something wrong.

But still, Kagami tried.

Throughout our time living together, Kagami tried not to burden others. Even when she had to flee in unavoidable situations, Kagami left behind a letter before departing.

From my early childhood, Kagami tried to be a role model for me. At the very least, she worked tirelessly to ensure I wouldn’t become a child who did bad things.

Even when she must have been tired from work, she never got irritated with me and would quietly hold me. Even though it must have been hot when I clung to her in summer, Kagami never pushed me away.

The reason I could grow up so normally in this world is thanks to Kagami. Even though I had memories of my past life, if my surroundings had been harmful, my mind probably wouldn’t have remained sound.

After losing my family in my past life, I saw them in my dreams. Their final appearances, already dead and barely recognizable, were the clearest memories of my family in the now-faded memories of my past life.

Kagami made me stop having those dreams.

Because she was my family. The only family in this life.

“……”

That Kagami was now sitting with her head bowed low. Kneeling, with her hands on the floor.

I couldn’t see her expression. But whatever expression Kagami was making—or even if she wasn’t making any expression at all—I knew that face only meant despair.

An ordinary life.

The ordinary life Kagami wanted might have been impossible from the start.

Being chased by an unidentified group, with only the yakuza to turn to for help.

Even when she managed to escape, she failed several times.

It was only natural. What could a mere teenager in their mid-teens do alone? Just surviving was a miracle.

For me, such a miracle had always been by my side.

That’s why Kagami’s emotions resonated with me so deeply. To the point where I couldn’t even speak. Even Dad, who had been beside us, was now keeping his distance, observing the situation.

After a long silence, Kagami finally opened her mouth and squeezed out the words:

“…I’m sorry.”

There’s nothing to be sorry for.

Kagami didn’t do anything wrong to begin with. Is wanting to live a life like everyone else something to apologize for?

Especially to the daughter she raised doing her best.

If anyone should apologize, it might be me.

I don’t know Kagami’s past—but at least, if I hadn’t been there, Kagami might have lived better than now. She could have lived thinking only of herself, without having to worry about a child.

“…I’m really sorry.”

“Mom.”

I almost said that I was the one who was more sorry.

But knowing I shouldn’t say such things, I kept my mouth shut.

If I apologized, everything Kagami had done until now would become meaningless.

To Kagami, I was the very reason for living.

No matter how sorry I felt, I shouldn’t apologize to Kagami.

“……”

Unable to say anything, I finally did the only thing I could.

I reached out and held Kagami’s hand.

Her cold hand trembled for a while, then slowly wrapped around mine.

I moved closer to Kagami.

Kagami embraced me.

Kagami cried. For the first time in a long time, audibly.

Ironically, I found comfort in Kagami like this. I shouldn’t, but I did.

Kagami’s body was always warm, and her arms embracing me were filled with strength as always.

Does Kagami also find comfort in me? Does she feel relieved seeing me alive despite everything?

Does she ever regret living this way?

Questions I couldn’t bring myself to ask directly flashed through my mind.

In the end, I chose to remain silent.

Just as I found solace in Kagami’s warmth, I hoped Kagami could find solace in mine.

The two of us stayed like that, embracing each other for a long time.

Just as we always had.

*

Kagami eventually accepted it.

In fact, it seemed like Kagami couldn’t think of a way to refuse from the beginning.

A group run by crazy people is just that—a group. If they tried to go against the government of this country, they would simply be dismantled. At least our family was under the protection of the nation.

But conversely, that meant our escape routes were blocked. Once we were caught within that fence, wherever we went, the three of us would be followed by watchful eyes. So discreetly that we wouldn’t even notice.

That’s why I was worried about Kagami. She had already shown signs of giving up once before.

Come to think of it, Kagami was younger than I was in my previous life.

In this era, people in their twenties were already treated as adults who should handle everything on their own, but having gone through a similar period myself, I knew that not knowing something is simply not knowing it.

Since revealing the truth to Kagami, I had stayed by her side every day. For as much time as possible.

Somehow, I felt like she might disappear right before my eyes, vanishing like a candle flame, leaving only smoke behind.

Fortunately, Kagami seemed to draw strength from seeing me like this.

Souta Sasaki and Shii Sasaki had also noticed the changed atmosphere between me and Kagami lately and looked somewhat worried. We tried hard not to show it, but it seems that wasn’t easy.

“Senior, is something wrong?”

Shii, still an elementary school student, asked me that.

I, who had been wearing a serious expression until just moments ago, couldn’t help but smile at those words. No, I meant no harm. But, well.

No matter what, it’s quite awkward for an elementary school student to call a middle school student “senior.”

“……”

Shii immediately puffed up her cheeks.

“Sorry, sorry.”

I quickly apologized, waving my hands.

“No. Nothing special is happening.”

“That’s a relief then…”

She still has childlike aspects. I thought that was fortunate. People who spend their childhood in serious situations often have their innocent childhood completely cut off.

“……”

Yes, let’s stay strong.

I wasn’t the only one having a hard time.

For me, there were still too many things in this world I was looking forward to, to collapse now.

*

And then, another reason why I couldn’t give up emerged.

“……”

“Hmm.”

Two black eyes looking at me.

Black hair tied back. And a neat appearance.

I know that face.

It’s not that I’m unsure because I’ve only seen it in pictures. It’s more like the atmosphere of someone cosplaying the exact face I had seen in illustrations many times.

If I had just passed by on the street, I probably wouldn’t have thought anything of it. Even after meeting Shii and Souta, I wouldn’t have thought that every person I meet in this novel came from the novel.

But…

“…Hmm, you look too young.”

“…We’re probably the same age.”

“……”

For a first-year middle school student to say such things while facing someone they’ll have to fight alongside in the future is tragic.

It might have been entertaining to read in a novel, especially one I read as a teenager, but if it happens in reality like this, it can only be called a tragedy.

Yet the person herself seemed unfazed by my worried expression.

She looked into my eyes again and said:

“I’m Yuka Yuuki.”

“…Kotone Kurosawa.”

“That’s different from the name I heard.”

“Kurosawa is my real surname.”

“I see.”

Yuka Yuuki looked at me steadily and said:

“Looking forward to working with you.”

It was the moment I first met the main heroine of the novel I had been reading.