Ch.370IF Side Story: Seems I’ve Arrived a Bit Early (67)

I didn’t actually go to their house every day just because I was worried about Souta and Shii. I would sometimes see them briefly on the way home from school, invite them to our house a few times a week, or bring over some of Kagami’s excess cooking, but sometimes I needed days to relax quietly rather than being surrounded by commotion.

I’m not naturally an outgoing person. I’ve always preferred lounging around at home reading manga, so I needed these recharging times occasionally.

During the period when Shii was staying with us, I slept with her. Naturally, I spent more time sleeping alone, but after Shii and Souta went back to live at their house, I started sleeping with Kagami again sometimes. However, I didn’t visit Kagami’s room every night like before.

I also spent a bit more time by myself. I wasn’t always cooped up in my room, but I developed a habit of watching TV on specific days because I was curious about what happened in the later parts of the manga Shii had been reading.

Though it probably wasn’t Shii’s intention, the fact that she instilled this habit in me shows that meeting her did have some influence on me.

Well, I’ve been influenced by countless people while living in this world.

I wonder if there’s any point in dwelling on such things now.

Shii still seems to like manga these days. She probably realized that openly expressing her love for manga might seem a bit unusual given her surroundings, so she doesn’t talk about it everywhere, but I can tell from how she wants to use terms like “senpai” with me.

On a warm spring day.

The spring sunlight was lazily streaming into my room through the window. Almost hot enough to feel scorching if you stayed under it too long.

After coming home from school, taking a bath, and going up to my room, I somehow didn’t want to get up once I lay down on the bed.

This is my last year as an elementary school student.

It feels somewhat meaningful. While kindergarten wasn’t that long and felt like it just flew by even though I didn’t do anything particularly remarkable, I’ve now fully completed “six years” of elementary school.

Somehow surviving. Without separating from Kagami.

As I was staring blankly at the ceiling, wondering what would happen next,

Knock knock.

I heard someone knocking on the door.

There’s only one person who would knock on my door at this hour.

“Yes.”

I answered briefly as I sat up.

Kagami still speaks formally to me, but I still don’t speak formally to Kagami.

Our relationship was already established, so I didn’t feel the need to. No matter what speech style I used, Kagami was my mother, and no matter what speech style Kagami used, I was Kagami’s daughter.

The door opened carefully, and Kagami peeked her head through the gap.

“May I come in?”

“Sure.”

You don’t need permission.

Kagami carefully entered and sat down next to me.

“What were you doing?”

As if there wasn’t any particular reason for coming in, Kagami sat down next to me on the bed and asked.

“I wasn’t doing anything. Just soaking up the sunlight on the bed.”

Kagami smiled at my response.

I leaned slightly toward Kagami.

Kagami raised one arm and placed her hand on my shoulder, pulling me into a hug.

An embrace without any special reason.

…Just as I sometimes feel anxious when I’m away from Kagami, it seemed Kagami felt the same way.

I had been Kagami’s only family for a long time.

Maybe I still am. There is a father figure, but our relationship… well, it’s not exactly a complete family relationship.

Perhaps I will continue to remain Kagami’s only family in the future.

Just as I feel anxious at the thought of being separated from Kagami, Kagami might feel exactly the same way.

I tightened my arms around Kagami’s waist and burrowed deeper into her embrace.

It’s warm. Warmer than the spring sunlight pouring in.

The warmth of my mother that I’ve leaned on my entire life.

“…Kotone.”

Kagami murmured softly while slowly stroking my back.

That touch seemed to reassure me, while at the same time feeling like she was confirming my presence there.

No matter how the situation unfolds, we are together here and now.

And I will continue to make efforts so that we can stay together in the future.

So that eventually, we can become just an ordinary family.

“Kotone.”

“Yes?”

“Shall we go out for something delicious?”

Kagami suddenly said that.

I smiled slightly while still hugging her waist.

“Sure.”

“Great.”

Even after responding to each other, we didn’t get up right away but remained embracing each other.

I liked the feeling of Kagami’s hand stroking my arm.

Indeed, my favorite place in this world was right here beside her.

*

Ah, that’s right.

It had been a really long time since Kagami and I walked hand in hand, just the two of us.

Although it’s a fabricated existence, since we gained a “family,” and since I made “friends,” Kagami and I gradually had less time to be just the two of us like this.

I don’t know what will happen as I grow older, but I’m still an elementary school student.

I’m not yet at an age where holding hands with Kagami feels awkward.

I’ve grown quite tall now.

Judging by how my growth rate is gradually slowing down, it seems I won’t inherit Kagami’s full height. I’ll probably end up just slightly taller than Kagami’s shoulder when I’m fully grown.

But that might be good in its own way.

No matter how old I get, it means I can still be warmly embraced when my mom hugs me.

As we walked, we got a bit excited and swung our joined hands vigorously back and forth.

We stopped doing that when passersby in the neighborhood gave us warm looks that made me feel a bit embarrassed.

We took a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood, spending some time under a cherry tree in full bloom.

As we sat side by side on a bench under the tree, relaxing, Kagami spoke to me.

“Kotone.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

“…Huh?”

I turned my head toward Kagami, who was quietly looking up at the sky.

“You’ve been through so much lately.”

“…”

“If I weren’t in this situation, you wouldn’t have had to go through all this. I’m sorry.”

Has Kagami ever said something like this to me before?

I see.

Kagami had been constantly worried about it too.

About how we couldn’t lead a normal life. About having someone following us.

And about how we’re still being monitored even after running away again and again.

I thought Kagami’s mind had settled somewhat over the past half year. Although we were being monitored, I thought we were living the closest thing to a normal life that we’d ever had.

But apparently, that wasn’t how Kagami felt inside.

Thinking about it again, maybe Kagami was barely holding on. She had worked so hard before, trying to support me with just her own strength, but in the end—in the end, it came to this.

Her staying home at Dad’s suggestion might have been because she had no strength left to keep going.

…Kagami had poured her youth into me.

It would have been hard enough if she had married in her early twenties, and people’s gazes would have been harsh even if she had been in her late teens. Kagami had been taking care of me since she was almost the same age as I am now.

With all her might. Doing the best she could.

Kagami’s face as she stared blankly at the sky looked strangely empty, and for the first time since being born in this world, I felt terribly afraid.

I grabbed Kagami’s arm.

Kagami looked down at me with a slightly surprised expression.

“Mom.”

I said, looking at Kagami.

“I’m okay.”

“…”

Kagami blinked as she looked down at me.

“I’m okay, Mom.”

Seeing me speak, Kagami looked dazed for a moment, then pulled me into a tight hug.

“…”

Although she opened her mouth as if to say something, neither of us knew what more to say to each other.

*

What did I just say?

That was the thought that crossed Kagami’s mind.

In truth, she had been thinking a lot lately. With more time at home and not going to work, she had been pondering their current situation.

Perhaps those worries had inadvertently slipped out.

…The apology was sincere.

She thought that perhaps if she hadn’t insisted on raising Kotone herself, things might not have turned out this way.

If, just maybe, Kagami had sent Kotone somewhere else, if she hadn’t forcibly tried to play the role of a mother, would everything have gone better?

But in the end, she couldn’t reach a conclusion.

She had no regrets. Though she had contemplated “what ifs,” ultimately Kagami was grateful that Kotone was by her side.

Even if it might be a selfish thought.

“…”

The small child’s body was warm.

Warm enough, at least, to make her think she could endure one more day.

Perhaps in the future too, she would continue to endure each day with this child’s warmth—

“Thank you, Kotone.”

That’s what Kagami said.

And that, too, was sincere.