Ch.36The Mage Millia (2)

# Mage Millia (2)

To be honest, I didn’t have the luxury to worry about Lug.

Facing an unprecedented wall, Millia was struggling helplessly, with no room to care about a mere demon.

However, given Lug’s position of needing to blend into the hero’s party, Millia had to deal with him repeatedly.

“Lady Millia. Do you have a moment to talk?”

“No.”

“Understood.”

Honestly, it was annoying.

I wasn’t particularly interested, and his hovering presence was just irritating.

“Lady Millia, Lady Millia. Do you have a moment to talk?”

“No.”

“Understood.”

But Lug didn’t give up.

“Lady Millia, Lady Millia, Lady Millia, do you have a moment…”

“No.”

He approached Millia repeatedly. Each time, she naturally refused, but…

Before she knew it, Millia was tracking Lug’s movements.

Surprisingly, this was Lug’s strategy. When someone who usually bothers you suddenly disappears, you naturally become concerned.

Lug was employing a reasonable method to blend into the hero’s party.

This came from his experience in the military, where his superiors would search for him when he wasn’t causing trouble.

“Lady Millia.”

“…W-what do you want?”

Finally, a conversation was established.

Millia, who always put up walls claiming annoyance, now felt nervous about talking to Lug.

She had always been shy around strangers.

She was actually more comfortable conversing when she didn’t care about the other person.

In a way, Millia recognized this as an opportunity.

“What are your hobbies?”

“H-hobbies?”

“Yes! Hobbies!”

A clear, purposeful approach.

But because of this directness, Millia could actually engage in conversation.

Esmeralda and others would smile awkwardly when she hesitated or stumbled over words.

Everyone, including Esmeralda, already knew that Millia was hopelessly awkward in social relationships.

They were waiting for her to open up and talk comfortably someday.

In this situation, Lug chose a frontal assault.

It was truly inconsiderate, a charge solely for the mission.

But ironically, this approach actually helped Millia.

After all, shy people need someone to initiate conversation.

“I-I d-don’t really have any…”

“Then how do you usually spend your time?”

“Magic research?”

When it came to her specialty, Millia didn’t stutter.

She was the type who gained unfounded confidence and became talkative when discussing familiar topics.

Usually, Esmeralda, Eirene, and Tina wanted to respond when Millia opened up like this, but couldn’t…

“If your magic keeps dispersing, have you considered anchoring it to the ground before activation?”

Lug was a mage after all.

Moreover, he was a more advanced mage than Millia at this point, albeit limited to black magic.

While he couldn’t openly show his knowledge while playing the role of a porter, Lug often gave Millia hints through indirect suggestions.

A ploy to capture Millia’s interest.

The tower masters typically just handed Millia a book without teaching her in depth.

While their busy schedules might be a reason, Millia absorbed knowledge well enough on her own.

“I-I’ll try that.”

Thus, Lug’s hints became good nourishment for Millia.

Lug was unknowingly strengthening the hero’s party with his own hands.

As Millia began to open up and Lug continued his charm offensive, they gradually started having more personal conversations.

“So you read books in your spare time? Then reading is your hobby.”

“I-is that what it is? So that’s what a hobby is.”

“That works out well. Actually, reading is my hobby too!”

Lug was trash.

Of course, it wasn’t a lie that his hobby was also reading.

But he knew that reading wasn’t actually Millia’s hobby.

Millia had no hobbies. That was what Lug had observed.

She showed almost no emotional expression, and while she stuttered, she wasn’t particularly afraid of anyone.

She was simply unaccustomed to conversing with others.

She said reading was her hobby because she gained knowledge through books.

“I’ll recommend some books I enjoyed later.”

“O-okay…”

So Lug lent Millia novels he had been reading.

As always, she grabbed a book and began studying it.

Yes, through ordinary novels—different from the books filled with magical theories about formulas, flow directions, combinations, and reversals.

“So this is what people call hatred.”

Millia understood emotions through these books.

Like a baby bird struggling to break its shell and emerge into the world, Millia devoured books.

At first, the books Lug lent her seemed strange, but she quickly became immersed in the emotions between people conveyed through strings of words.

And among the books Lug lent her were some with preposterous stories, unlike the systematic and philosophical books she knew.

This often made Millia frown.

“This is impossible.”

“What aspect?”

So Millia confronted Lug about these nonsensical books he had given her.

In situations like this, one should express irritation.

Millia had learned this by reading numerous books, and acted accordingly.

Her conversation had become natural by now.

“The idea that an ordinary person could use spatial magic just by clicking their heels together—it’s impossible.”

Yes, she tried to analyze even the fantasies in fairy tales.

And when she couldn’t understand them, she finally realized that they were all fiction.

“So that’s what you meant.”

Seeing Millia’s furrowed brow, Lug grinned as if everything was going according to plan.

“Is it really impossible?”

“…What do you mean?”

“Lady Millia, would you like to read this book?”

“…”

Millia squinted her eyes, then began skimming through the book Lug handed her.

As she quickly flipped through it, her gaze suddenly fixed on one page.

“Heaven?”

“Yes, do you believe in heaven, Lady Millia?”

“That’s… I don’t know. I’ve never seen it and there’s no way to confirm it.”

“This world belongs to the Three Realms. Among them, in the six worlds of the Desire Realm, there are places we call hell and places we call heaven.”

“Is that the teaching of the Celestial Faith?”

“It’s a tradition rooted in the secular world.”

This is a topic with divided opinions even among mages.

Some infer heaven’s existence through the existence of gods, while others argue that the existence of gods makes heaven impossible.

There’s no definitive answer to such questions.

“This world is still full of things we don’t know. Even if we learn through books, there are things we can’t accept unless we see them with our own eyes.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, so there might be a great mage who can enable ordinary people to use spatial magic just by clicking their heels together.”

“I… see.”

Millia nodded.

She had learned through books.

She had learned through the words and guidance of the tower masters.

But there wasn’t just one way of learning.

When she faced her parents’ corpses, she tilted her head at something she herself didn’t understand.

Yes, she had thought she would be unfazed, but she learned through what she saw with her own eyes.

“Hey, Lug.”

“Yes?”

“What expression am I making right now? If you had to define the emotion in my current expression, what would it be?”

Something inside her had changed.

No, it had been changing for a while. This conversation was merely the catalyst.

Her heart, which had been moving and acting mechanically, had begun to stir.

Yes, she thought she could see everything. Because she was special. Because she was different from others.

That’s how she had learned and understood.

But she learned an unfamiliar emotion when she saw her parents’ bodies.

She learned about “not knowing.”

That’s why she couldn’t identify what she was feeling now. She couldn’t define it herself.

“Well, from what I can see… satisfaction? Seeing you smile like that is nice. I hope you’ll smile more often in the future.”

“Really?”

Emotions are inherently incomprehensible to the mind.

They can only be felt with the heart.

Millia had learned that she couldn’t know everything.

So she no longer controlled the incomprehensible impulses in her heart.

She released the flow she had blocked in childhood to escape pain.

Because emotions couldn’t be understood with the mind.

Now she knew that.

“Hey, Lug.”

She knew that everything Lug had told her so far was just sweet talk.

She knew he was playing some kind of trick on her.

But she was a genius and a special person, so she thought she could handle whatever trap Lug was setting.

But now? Well…

Whether this was Lug’s intention or not, she couldn’t tell, but…

“I’d like you to lend me more interesting books like these in the future.”

“Ah, of course.”

She had fallen into Lug’s trap. And she came to think that it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Because unlike others, he kept approaching her.

Because he had repeatedly knocked on the door to her heart.

“Yes, I’ll look forward to it.”

She had emerged into the world.

That day, Millia learned the emotion of excitement about the unknown.

***

Thud.

Millia was now in Glacies Tower, one of the seven magic towers, which researched water, ice, and stasis.

She had just closed the last volume of books she had collected while wandering through villages. Yes, it was a time when she had become idle.

“Lug.”

Millia still didn’t know about emotions. She couldn’t express exactly how to call them.

But she didn’t give up trying to understand them.

Because she shouldn’t just accept things. Even if they can’t be understood with the mind and can only be felt with the heart, she shouldn’t give up trying to prove them.

This too was something she learned from Lug.

Something she could know through Lug.

‘I can’t know everything. But if I believe it exists…’

So Millia believed nothing was impossible. She broadened her imagination and approached the world that way.

And since learning is endless, she too shouldn’t declare things impossible.

So she recalled the emotions she felt over and over, compared them repeatedly, and verified them countless times.

And Millia had tentatively attached a provisional name to what she was feeling now.

“I miss you.”

The emotion now had the name “longing” attached to it.

And behind her, as if expressing that tender feeling, black tentacles wriggled, dripping slime.

Hissss!

The areas touched by the slime melted away as if corroded.

Looking at the slime that expressed her heart, Millia thought:

“I wish you could stay with me forever.”

It was autumn.