Ch.35Chapter 5. Having No Secrets Is a Poor and Empty Thing (End)

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The woman’s body twitched. Her eyelids trembled. Seems like she’s waking up. I pressed the silenced pistol against her forehead to reassure her.

“Quiet. Zombies outside.”

Fortunately, she was the type who understood verbal instructions well. When I withdrew the gun, she gently shook her bound wrists and ankles. She looked at me questioningly, so I answered.

“You were shaking too much. It’s cramped in here, and you could get hurt if you move wrong. I didn’t tie them too tight, just enough to keep you from thrashing.”

“…Is it okay to talk? You said there are zombies.”

Despite keeping her voice low, her clear enunciation made her easy to hear. I peered outside through the small window.

“This level is fine. They’re a bit far away. Busy tearing apart a dog.”

About 100 meters away, zombie humans were devouring a fallen zombie dog. There were four of them. One had a severely injured stomach. Destined to never fill its belly no matter how much it ate.

“What happened to me? And where are we?”

She seems fully conscious now, looking around.

“You were gathering MREs, took two steps, and fell forward. A pack of zombie dogs was running from across the road. I used your gun a bit. Thought more zombies would come if we kept fighting, so I dragged you in here.”

The woman frowned deeply after hearing me.

“Sorry. My neck hurts so much.”

Of course it hurts after being hit.

But that’s the problem of someone who was trudging toward oncoming zombie dogs, not my fault. Whether from blood loss or exhaustion, the woman couldn’t come to her senses, so I had no choice but to knock her out.

I was worried she might be turning into a zombie, but fortunately, there were no bite marks.

“I didn’t have a pillow, so I bunched up some clothes instead, but the height must have been off. Some stretching should help.”

“…Thanks. *cough* *cough*”

“Want some water? Wait, I’ll untie one of your wrists.”

“No. I’m fine.”

That’s unexpected.

“So you like being tied up?”

“…I’m not going to fall for your provocations anymore.”

“That’s a shame. Your reactions were fun.”

“Hey, what did you just say?”

Yes, that reaction. The woman sighs deeply, as if resigned.

“…You know what? Excluding the Römers since they’re not human, you’re the first person who’s ever treated me like this.”

“How would I know that?”

“I really don’t like you.”

Yet someone who claims to dislike me slightly bites her lip and smirks?

She shakes her long red hair slightly, then looks up at me with wide blue eyes. Her long eyelashes are striking.

“…Anyway, thanks for saving my life. I could have died on the road if it weren’t for you.”

“Let’s call it payment for you sniping those zombie heads.”

“But you said it wasn’t necessary earlier.”

“Let me be generous for once.”

“Wow. It’s not like I’m bowing down to you or anything.”

She laughs once, then looks out the window. The zombie with the punctured stomach finally collapses.

The others who had been staring blankly open their mouths wide and bury their heads in it. These creatures have absolutely no ethics.

The woman coughs again. When I try to untie her wrists, she refuses again.

“You’ll untie my wrists and then point that gun at me, right?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’d rather stay like this. *cough* *cough*!”

Your coughing makes me more anxious, you know.

I put down the gun and gently raised her upper body. I tilted the water bottle to her lips, and she drank well. When she’d had enough, she shook her head slightly.

“Really, you’re so confusing. Are you a good person or a bad person? Pick one.”

“I’d rather you not misunderstand. If you choke and make noise, we’re both in danger. Making loud coughs won’t do us any good.”

The woman says nothing.

The sun is setting. Everything is bathed in golden light.

Even the zombies burying their heads in their comrade’s body look solemn. It’s as if they’re bowing their heads in mourning before sending off the deceased forever.

As I look up at the sky through the small window, the woman asks:

“Do I smell bad?”

“We’re both the same. Are you uncomfortable?”

“No. I was worried you might be.”

“Your very presence is uncomfortable, so don’t worry about the smell.”

The woman tilts her head and stares at me intently. The silence becomes uncomfortable, so I snap slightly.

“What. Why.”

Now she’s even smiling a little while continuing to stare. She persistently tries to make eye contact.

“Want me to hit you?”

Even with the threat, she doesn’t back down.

“You’re really afraid of people, aren’t you?”

For some reason, the woman breaks into a wide smile.

“What nonsense.”

“The funny one is you. You’re not bad-hearted enough to leave me to die or be eaten, but you’ve tied up all my limbs and taken my weapons because you’re afraid I might hurt you.

You say sniping that zombie’s head was unnecessary, but the truth is you can’t stand being indebted to someone, right? Just like normal humans.”

“I just have a personality that pursues fair value.”

“Well, I understand. I’d probably be the same in your situation. Anyone would become sensitive if they were dropped into a region with no friends and only enemies. But you don’t need to be so on edge, do you? You might receive unexpected help.”

What on earth is this woman talking about? Did I hit her neck too hard earlier? Is her brain malfunctioning?

“What do you know about my situation?”

It didn’t seem like such a funny question, but the woman smiles so widely her mouth nearly reaches her ears.

“I know enough. But you won’t admit it anyway, right? It seems pointless to explain. You’re from the Western countries… No. Never mind.

Anyway, what I want to say is that we’d make a good team. You need to survive here, avoid getting caught, and gather lots of information.

I’m the same as you. I want to survive, and I don’t want to get caught. But when I try, I can connect you to quite an extensive information network. As long as it doesn’t harm Elza.

I can be very helpful to you. As I mentioned earlier, I’m a good shot and have various skills. I promise I won’t be a burden.”

“No.”

Despite my refusal, somehow she seems even more pleased.

“I thought you’d say that. I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to follow you.”

“…What?”

“Kill me if you want to. Shoot me if you want to. But I will never shoot you, inform on you, or hinder you. I’ll just keep following you. And I’ll keep helping you, even if you don’t want it.”

“Why on earth would you do that?”

“Because I want to build trust with you. I won’t ask you to believe me. Just take what I give, and repay as much as you want to.”

“I told you I don’t need it.”

“I need it.”

The woman’s face hardens. She’s still smiling, but cracks appear like in a dried-out cake.

“…I need it. I have nowhere to go. And I don’t want to go back yet. I can’t follow the Elza Central Liberation Army when I know they’re going down the wrong path.”

“We talked about this earlier. You said they moved their hideout and headquarters, and you don’t know where.”

“I could find out if I really tried, but I don’t know right now. More than anything, I don’t want to go back. I want to sort out my thoughts.”

“Didn’t you say you’re popular and have many friends? Go to them.”

“Most of them are organization members, and above all, there’s a warrant out for me. I don’t want to cause trouble for people who are living well.”

“Then why not recuperate alone in a quiet place? You said you’re good with guns and have skills. You’re also excellent at following people.”

“…I hate being lonely.”

The woman’s voice drops.

“I’ve hated being alone since I was young. It got worse after experiencing times of chaos. Yes, I’ll be honest. There’s no particular reason it has to be you. You just happened to be the person I saw.

But. But you know… everything I believed in and relied on now feels so… strange. I don’t know what to believe or what went wrong.”

Ah. I don’t like this.

Understanding. Feeling like I know what she means.

“When I get my head straight, I’ll leave without being a burden. But… but right now, just stay with me. Just… let me feel that I’m not alone in this world. That’s all. That’s everything.”

I looked out the window.

The zombies were getting up. They walk with leisurely steps down the road. They line up and climb back up the hill they came down from. They look like people heading home after finishing work. I stared blankly at their backs.

“What I said to you earlier. That was actually something I should have said to myself. Did it upset you? I’m sorry.”

“What did you say?”

“What I said while gathering the MREs.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t hear it. You collapsed after gathering those.”

As I played dumb, the woman hesitated.

“Oh, did I…?”

Let’s say that’s what happened. For now. The woman turned her head away.

“I’ve said everything I wanted to say. Kill me or let me live, do as you please. I don’t think things can get any worse anyway.”

I put down the gun. I pressed my knee against her body and untied her ankles first. The woman didn’t resist at all. I finished untying her wrists too. I backed away and picked up the gun again.

The woman sat up. She massaged her wrists and ankles vigorously while leaning against the box. Though she says she’s given up, a faint expectation still lingers in her eyes. That’s probably unavoidable.

“…Let’s get a radio first.”

“Huh?”

“Let’s get a radio first. You take care of your share. I’ll take care of mine. Let’s move 50 meters apart except when absolutely necessary.

We don’t look out for each other’s lives. Your own life comes first. Don’t enter my line of fire carelessly. I’ll shoot without concern. The same goes for you. Shoot freely.

Let’s each take care of our own safety. Don’t act on the assumption that ‘they’ll save me.’ I won’t do that either. Understand?”

“I heard you.”

The woman tries to smile but turns her head away. I can see her smiling, so I don’t know why she’s turning away. She forces herself to erase her expression and looks at me with a seemingly blank face.

“But why specifically 50 meters?”

“That distance should be enough to dodge bullets and hide.”

“What? Are you planning to shoot me?”

“You shoot me too.”

“That’s fair?”

“I told you I like fair value.”

“Really? Then how about this?”

Suddenly, the woman takes off her combat jacket.

“Hey, hey!”

Of course, I had already seen everything earlier. I know she’s wearing a sleeveless top under her combat gear. But there’s no reason to suddenly undress like that.

“Let’s play a game.”

The woman grins, rolls up her jacket to use as a pillow, and lies down.

“I’m a bit tired, you know? I’m going to sleep now, and I’ll sleep very deeply without dreaming. I’m in a really good mood. So while I’m sleeping, shoot me or pounce on me, whatever you want. Just so you know, I won’t be that easy to deal with.”

“…That’s the game?”

“No. Listen to the end. Wake me up when it’s time to change watch. Then, choose one of two options: either sleep soundly believing I won’t kill or attack you, or lie there in a state that’s neither awake nor asleep, constantly suspicious.”

“What kind of game is that?”

“It’s a simple game where you choose between suspicion and trust. Isn’t that easy? Let me tell you one thing: I’m going to believe that you won’t touch me or shoot me. I’ve made my choice. Now you make yours.”

“Aren’t you going to get up right now?”

“Didn’t you say there are zombies outside?”

“Ah.”

The woman laughed out loud. Whatever was so funny even made her shed a few tears.

“Camilla.”

“Johan.”

“Nice to meet you, Johan.”

“Nice to meet you, Camilia Rose.”

“Huh?”

Camilla sat up abruptly. Her face is filled with shock.

“Hey, you… how do you know that?”

How do I know? When I was checking if you were bitten somewhere, I saw your abs.

The claim that Camilla is a model isn’t a lie. While wandering through the cities of “The Erysichthon Protocol,” I saw several large billboards, and among them were ads featuring a particularly pretty woman with a great figure.

The hairstyle, atmosphere, and content were all different, but the faces were subtly identical, leading to rumors that “they’re reusing the same model.”

According to a user who had extracted client data, they were all the same person. ‘Camilia Rose’ was the name attached.

With an unpublished footnote saying, ‘Her real name is Camilia Rose, but only her family knew her name.’

There were many advertisements. High-end clothes. Bags. Apartments. Washing machines. Underwear. Swimsuits. There were so many with different atmospheres that people who didn’t know wouldn’t recognize her.

But the most famous advertisement was the Liberation Front propaganda ad called “To the Battlefield!” A revolutionary warrior-like pamphlet with a gun raised high in one hand, thrust out powerfully.

I had my doubts, but judging by her reaction, it seems her real name is correct.

“Want to play a game?”

I also leaned against the van.

“Will I report you, or won’t I?”

“…Hmph. Just try reporting me. I’ll report you right back.”

Camilla leaned against the van.

“Are you wide awake now?”

“You, how did you know my name? What exactly are you? Nobody, nobody knows that. Nobody except my family knows that story. Don’t just smile, really! How on earth did you!”

I pushed the gun toward the middle. Camilla’s hand hesitates.

“I’ll bet that you won’t shoot me or touch my body. And since I guessed your secret, I’ll tell you one of mine. That makes it fair, right? I like fair value.”

“…What is it?”

“I’m actually not a person who belongs to this world. That’s how I know your real name.”

She obviously doesn’t believe me. Instead, she just glares at me like I’m a thief.

“I know one thing for sure.”

“What?”

“Johan. You’re truly a villain. Or if not a villain, then a monster.”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to be with this villain or monster.”

“…Why do I always make the wrong decisions?”

Leaving Camilla to self-reproach, I leaned against the van. I watched the zombies’ movements through the window.

I recalled a passage from a novel I once read: ‘Having no secrets is as poor and empty as having no possessions.’

Tomorrow will be the same as today, which was the same as yesterday. There might be no secrets, no mysteries.

Daily life becomes monotonous day by day, wears out, and passes by without even realizing it’s flowing. It becomes empty and poor.

So before everything hardens, perhaps throwing in one pretty secret with a slim waist isn’t such a bad whim after all.

I think I’ll sleep well tonight.