Ch.354Episode 14 – One Religion, One Faith, Two Saints

Life is accompanied by pain.

No one lives without sorrow, and no life continues without pain.

We endure countless afflictions and torments as we live, but we carry on with the hope that tomorrow will be better than today.

However,

“Major. Speak honestly while you have the chance. One wrong move and both of us die here today!”

“……”

Will I truly live to see the sun rise again?

As I swayed back and forth in Veronica’s grip, I quietly closed my eyes and sighed.

Episode 14 – One Religion, One Faith, Two Saints

Life is followed by pain.

It has always been that way.

It was true for my mother who had to support our family alone after my husband’s death in the line of duty, and for my grandfather who dusted off the album containing photos of his son’s military academy entrance ceremony and his grandson’s commissioning ceremony.

The same goes for crises.

Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Venezuela, China, Iran, Pakistan, Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Israel, Turkey, Vietnam—my overseas service record easily exceeded double digits, and there were numerous times when my life hung in the balance.

Like when I drove a van loaded with firearms and equipment through a government checkpoint, or when I held my breath below deck on a fishing boat during a coast guard inspection.

There were moments when I seriously worried about dying—like when I shoved a wounded informant into the passenger seat while trying to shake off pursuers, or when I was solicited for bribes by counterintelligence investigators.

My life in intelligence units over the past decade or more has been like walking a tightrope at the boundary between life and death.

Things were so bad that even the directors and department heads who brought me in to use me would occasionally suggest that I consider taking an office position and retiring from fieldwork.

Though now just memories tucked away in a corner of my heart, the recollections of those hardships often haunted me.

Perhaps I accepted Clevins’ offer to become his aide shortly after joining Military Intelligence because I remembered sleeping on the streets while feeding mosquitoes with my blood. Though that only led to being dragged back into the field when I was selected as Camilla’s colleague.

But,

I can state with certainty,

Even all the crises I’ve faced over the past decade pale in comparison to the predicament I’m facing right now.

I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants and thought to myself.

I’m fucked.

“Major.”

Veronica spoke.

“Yes, yes.”

“Have you heard the saying that it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?”

One of the order’s only two saints mentioned “forgiveness.”

“When people won’t easily grant permission for something, those who find it difficult to get permission seek forgiveness instead. They commit the act first, then plan to ask for forgiveness.”

“Y-yes, that’s right.”

“Human psychology works that way. Even after repeatedly telling someone not to do wrong and warning them of consequences, when they actually do wrong, we might scold them harshly but ultimately end up forgiving them.”

“……”

The saint, a symbol of compassion, discussed forgiveness. She closed her eyes gently and took a deep breath, her chest rising prominently.

As her chest rose and fell, I folded my hands demurely and lowered my gaze.

Then, after finishing her deep breath, she bit out her words.

“Isn’t that infuriating?”

Her angry voice pierced my eardrums.

“They commit wrongs believing they’ll eventually be forgiven. In a way, that’s a sin too. Isn’t it exploiting someone’s tender heart to commit sin? It means they sinned knowingly.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“…So!”

Bang! Her fair, delicate fist struck the confessional door. After pounding the door, Veronica sat down in a crooked posture and issued a threatening warning.

“Tell me the truth while I still have some inclination to forgive you. What did you do with Lucia!”

“……”

The saint pointing her finger at me with one arm resting on her knee in that crooked posture looked exactly like a gangster.

Veronica had put me in the confessional and was blocking the door to prevent my escape. Not content with that, she had placed a chair—from who knows where—in front of the door and sat on it.

Her appearance reminded me of a cult pastor from a Netflix drama. A cleric threatening an intelligence officer. Thinking about it, the setup was strangely similar.

The only difference was that in the drama, there were allies who could help the intelligence officer.

And here I was facing Veronica alone.

“……”

I needed to find a way out of this crisis.

I had no idea how Veronica had caught on and come here.

But if I could get out of this situation with a lie, I should. No, I absolutely must.

“Say something, anything,” she demanded curtly.

Rubbing my damp palms together, I answered.

“Well, you see. Actually…”

*

After the sun had set behind the western mountains, and the twilight had completely disappeared from the sky.

Only after the bright moon had risen high in the sky did the story come to an end.

“…So.”

Veronica removed the hand that had been supporting her chin and began to speak.

“You and Lucia are dating? You’re in a romantic relationship, is that what you’re saying?”

Veronica had demanded I tell the truth, but if I told the “real” truth, she would certainly be angry.

I couldn’t guess exactly how or how much she would be angry, but I was certain I would be severely scolded.

Whatever the process, to her who discovered the truth, I would be “the bastard who took her beloved sister without saying a word.”

If I was going to be cursed at anyway, it would be better to receive less of it. So I concealed everything that had happened between Lucia and me, and merely glossed over it by saying we were in love.

“An unofficial relationship?”

I nodded.

“I’ve never told anyone about my relationship with Lucia.”

“No one? What about your company?”

She was asking if Military Intelligence knew. I shook my head.

Under no circumstances could Military Intelligence know I was dating someone. Dating a foreigner without permission was grounds for severe disciplinary action.

Beyond that, the fact that I was seeing Lucia was supposed to be unknown to everyone. Not just for my sake, but for Lucia’s as well.

But now I’d been caught.

And by someone who absolutely shouldn’t have found out.

“…Haah.”

The saint of the order, Lucia’s sister-in-faith, and my informant.

Veronica groaned, covering her face with her palm. It was a sigh filled with anguish and distress.

“How did Lucia end up with such a good-for-nothing…”

“……”

Good-for-nothing? Isn’t that a bit harsh?

I wanted to say that, but I swallowed the words that had risen to my throat.

If I said the wrong thing here, I might get beaten like a dog and be carried to the church’s intensive care unit. So keeping quiet was the best strategy for now.

As I pressed my thin lips together with a stern expression, Veronica, who had been silent, opened her mouth.

“…Who confessed first?”

“Lucia confessed first.”

This much was true.

“That little brat, really…”

Veronica’s face contorted at hearing her sister had confessed first. The saint, sitting askew in her chair, turned her gaze away and chewed on her lip.

“So, what did you say in response, Major?”

This was a question I could answer without burden.

I answered truthfully, without a shred of falsehood.

“I asked for more time to think…”

“What?”

Veronica’s head snapped around.

She reached out from her reclined position on the chair and grabbed my collar. She shook her clenched fist wildly and raised her voice.

“You asked for time to think? Hey, you piece of trash!”

“Uh…”

“What kind of bullshit is that when the girl confessed first!”

Now it seemed not just her head but her eyes had rolled back too.

Veronica shook me like a madwoman and shouted loud enough to make the church tremble.

“If Lucia confessed, she must have thought about it dozens of times before even bringing it up! And you rejected her?!”

“It-it was too sudden…”

“Sudden my ass. You seduced her, didn’t you? It wasn’t my sister approaching you first—you lured an innocent virgin and now you’re trying to pin it on someone else!”

…Innocent virgin? Who is she referring to?

Surely not Lucia?

I carefully recalled what Lucia was like when I saw her in the north.

“……”

No matter how I thought about it, Lucia was not an “innocent virgin.” She might be pure, but she was definitely not innocent.

And certainly not a virgin.

At least not anymore.

Of course, the moment I uttered such words, Veronica would surely try to kill me. So for the sake of Lucia’s honor and my precious life, I resolved to willingly become the bastard.

“Lucia did confess first, but what was I supposed to do…”

“How dare you casually call my sister by her name? Are you two that close? Huh?”

“…We are quite close.”

“But you rejected her confession? Good grief.”

Veronica was looking at me like a cigarette butt lying on the street.

She probably saw me as “the gigolo who seduced her innocent sister.” The way she had switched from calling Lucia “our sister” to “my sister” made it clear.

The truth was that Lucia had confessed first, and both of us had gotten caught up in the moment and played with fire, but the truth didn’t matter.

Veronica poured out her vitriol at me for several minutes.

She said I was playing with a woman’s feelings after she went so far as to confess, and that hiding our relationship from her showed I knew what I was doing wasn’t right.

She added that I was insensitive, disrespectful, and muttered other incomprehensible things for quite some time. Then, after taking a deep breath, she asked in a much calmer voice:

“…Nothing happened between you and Lucia, right?”

It was an extremely calm yet threatening question.

As before, there was an unspoken pressure in her voice that if I said the wrong thing here, I wouldn’t even have bones left to pick up.

To this, I completed my mental calculations faster than ever before and answered. A smooth response came from my lips.

“I understand what you’re worried about. But what you’re concerned about, Veronica, didn’t happen.”

“……”

“Really. Nothing happened, I tell you.”

Despite my sincere and even indignant answer, Veronica’s gaze was not very kind.

A look full of suspicion.

Like someone dealing with a not-so-close friend who called for the first time since high school graduation, she was looking at me with quite a suspicious gaze.

Then,

“…Sigh, what can I do? My sister is an adult now… She can confess on her own.”

“……”

Veronica spread her arms.

I wondered why she suddenly opened her arms, but Veronica just stared at me sitting there blankly, as if I were pathetic.

“What are you doing, Major? My arms are getting tired.”

“…Ah, uh, yes.”

With an uncertain feeling, I slowly approached her. It was just a matter of getting up from the confessional chair and taking a step or two forward.

As I approached slowly, very carefully, Veronica grabbed my arm and pulled me toward her.

There was no time to react.

With my arm in her grip, I bent my body forward, losing my balance as my upper body tilted forward. When I came to my senses, I found myself standing in a posture as if embracing Veronica.

Just as I was about to quickly straighten up, Veronica pulled me in strongly.

The hand placed on my back gently stroked my shoulder blade and nape, and the soft feeling of flesh touched my chin.

“Alright.”

Veronica, holding me in her arms, slowly stroked my back.

With a gentle touch like caring for a lamb, her whisper reached me.

“If it’s true that Lucia confessed first, then she must have thought about it a lot. It’s good to think things through, but don’t drag it out too long, Major. She’s more tender-hearted than she appears.”

The saint speaks.

“You’re both mature adults, and I know it’s not proper for a third party to interfere in a relationship between a man and a woman, but I can’t help but worry. You’ll take good care of Lucia, won’t you?”

“…Yes, I’ll take good care of her.”

“And you won’t touch her inappropriately?”

“…O-of course not. Absolutely…”

“If you say so, Major, well.”

Veronica smiled.

“I suppose I should believe you.”

*

That’s when it happened.

The hand that had been stroking the back of my head suddenly grabbed my hair.

“If what you said was true.”

With one hand gripping my hair, Veronica immediately reached out with her other hand and grabbed my chest. More precisely, the shirt under my windbreaker.

She pulled down my shirt with brute force and bent her upper body forward, her eyes wide open, as if about to bury her head.

Under the pulled-down shirt was only clean skin.

“……”

The sight of unblemished skin filled Veronica’s vision.

Whether she couldn’t believe what she was seeing, or didn’t want to believe it, Veronica began to feel the skin with trembling hands.

The skin was clean.

No scars or wounds.

As if the hideous wound left by the devil had never existed in the first place.

“……”

“……”

Brown eyes and black eyes intertwined in midair. A trembling fist grabbed my collar again, and a damp hand waved through the air.

Finally, Veronica swung her fist. Pushed away, I tumbled into the confessional like someone falling off a cliff.

A dull pain shot up from my tailbone, but I had no time to worry about that now.

“…D-die.”

I raised my arms to protect my head and curled up.

At that moment, Veronica’s thunderous scream echoed through the sacred church.

“Die, you bastard!!”