Ch.353Overseas Travel is Busiest Before You Go (1)

Anyway, the dojo challenge event wrapped up rather smoothly. With such a flashy performance, Thumbs-up Man seemed to have gotten over his grudge about Bell’s escape.

The problem was… Gonzaemon had gotten completely wasted.

“No!! Master!! You drove here!!”

Only then did I realize it. He had been downing drinks so unhesitatingly that I’d completely forgotten!!

“Ah, it’s fine. As long as you don’t get caught by the police, you can drive after drinking.”

Gonzaemon waved his hand dismissively.

But… Gonzaemon was talking to a statue installed in the Saito family’s living room.

“Master!!! That’s not me!! That’s a statue!!!”

This guy is hopeless.

“What are you saying… trying to deceive your master. Hehehe. Shota!! Have you already reached the level of creating doppelgangers?! There’s another Shota right here!”

Gonzaemon laughed heartily while looking at me.

“If we get in the car like this, we’ll all be heading to the afterlife.”

Kana said.

“Yeah. And besides that, Master will get his license suspended.”

I replied.

What should we do? Public transportation? No, the trains have already stopped running.

“Why don’t you just stay overnight.”

Tetsu suggested.

“While staying overnight!! You might as well become a disciple of the Saito family and live here permanently!! Hahaha!”

Tetsu still hadn’t given up on recruiting me, it seemed.

“First… let’s call mom.”

Umi picked up her phone. She was going to tell her she’d be staying out tonight.

“Ah… but dad gets in trouble with mom when he stays out overnight.”

Umi said in an anxious tone. Well, that’s a common trait among all wives.

“Shota. When we get married, you’re not allowed to stay out overnight either.”

Umi suddenly said.

“But… won’t there be times when work requires staying out?”

I suggested that Umi should be more flexible.

“Go ahead and try. Then I’ll snip off your nipples with nail clippers.”

Umi said with a sweet smile.

“Umi!!! Sometimes your ideas are terrifying!!”

I immediately shouted. Seriously, how does she come up with such thoughts while sober?!

“Anyway, let’s make the call. It’s not like he can do anything in that state.”

Kana said.

“Should we buy some hangover medicine?”

Thumbs-up Man muttered.

“Nonsense!!! What hangover medicine?! Let’s walk!! Just walk!! From Tokyo to Emoshita is just a short walk! We can sober up along the way!!! Huh? We can have honest conversations too!! Huh?! How wonderful!”

Gonzaemon shouted loudly while sprawled out on the floor.

“Master… please be a more dignified drunk…”

Gonzaemon was quite unpleasant when he got rowdy with alcohol. I made a mental note of this.

Ring ring-! Click-!

Umi immediately made the call.

“Ah, Mom. Dad is too drunk to… Yes. You want to talk to him? Okay.”

Umi sighed and held the phone to Gonzaemon’s ear.

“Hey, my beloved wife!! When I get back tomorrow, shall we make a third child? Hehehe…”

Gonzaemon laughed as he spoke to Asuna.

“If you’re staying out, then stay out. Do whatever you want.”

Just then, Asuna’s ice-cold voice came through the phone.

“…….”

That cold response seemed to instantly sober Gonzaemon up.

“If you stay out, we’re sleeping in separate rooms. Whether you crawl or walk, come home to sleep.”

Asuna said firmly.

“Honey… separate rooms is a bit…”

Gonzaemon panicked. Indeed… the number one in the Kiryu family hierarchy was Asuna.

She’s terrifyingly scary, that Asuna.

No choice. I have to step in.

“Master. I have a method to get you home in seconds. Will you follow my instructions without question?”

I said to Gonzaemon.

“…In seconds?”

“It’s a way to get to Asuna immediately.”

I explained.

“…Alright.”

Understanding the gravity of the situation, Gonzaemon delegated full authority to me.

“Chauffeur Violet!!”

I immediately shouted into the air.

“Who are you calling a chauffeur!!! Stop summoning me for things like this!! Seriously!!”

Violet immediately opened a portal and came through.

At that moment, Violet checked my condition.

“Again! Again! You’ve pushed yourself too hard!! Your body is completely battered!!”

Violet shouted.

“Ah… it’s fine. I’ve had first aid.”

I said with a smile. My arm was bandaged, but it wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t move it. Even the Saito family doctor was amazed at my monster-like recovery ability. I looked a bit like a mummy, but it couldn’t be helped. Is a mummy’s life okay? In Metal Slug, becoming a mummy lets you jump higher. Though I always wondered why they move like Chinese hopping vampires. But I like this B-grade aesthetic.

“Really… from the looks of it, you’ve obtained about two Memories of the Strong? But even so, pushing yourself like this…”

Violet seemed genuinely worried about me.

“It was worth it. My relationship with Kana has been officially recognized.”

I smiled and put my arm around Kana.

“…Risking your life for women hasn’t changed from your past life to now.”

Violet said with an exasperated expression.

“Sigh. Where do you need to go?”

Violet sighed and opened a dimensional door.

“Ah. To the dojo, please.”

I smiled and lifted Gonzaemon. Our master is disgustingly heavy.

“Understood.”

Violet immediately opened a dimensional portal.

“What’s that?”

Tetsu asked while sipping his drink. My father-in-law couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“Ah. She’s an alien. She can teleport anywhere.”

I just explained it that way.

“Ah, if she’s an alien, that makes sense! Hahaha! I saw an alien in the mountains behind our house when I was young!! It was trying to steal sweet potatoes from the field, so I beat it up good!”

Tetsu laughed heartily.

Right. In this world, aliens were surprisingly common. I’ve seen quite a few aliens in droves just this year. Earth was secretly like an international city of the universe.

“Are aliens that common?!!”

My father-in-law, the only normal person here, seemed to be experiencing culture shock.

“Yeah. These days with urbanization, there aren’t as many aliens around. Kids these days are always glued to games and computers, so…”

Tetsu suddenly started muttering in an old-fashioned tone.

“Anyway, we’ll be heading back now.”

I smiled and threw myself into the dimensional portal.

“Alright. Take care. Let’s spar again sometime.”

Tetsu smiled and waved his hand.

“Sure. Kana… show your face at home once in a while. Your mother gets lonely.”

My father-in-law said, looking at Kana.

Whoosh-!

After that, my consciousness faded to black.

——–

At that time, Tetsu and his son Shingen looked at each other.

“He’s an impressive man. Though his talent is inferior to Kana’s… as a warrior, he’s superior to her.”

Shingen said.

“Ah, that’s it. You have a good eye too. That guy… he’s used to fighting. When he faces an opponent, he thinks only of winning. Because of that, there’s no hesitation in his sword.”

Tetsu nodded in acknowledgment, then suddenly bent over and started vomiting.

“Our Kana also has good taste… Bleeeeeeeeegh…!!”

“Father… please either talk or vomit, not both at the same time.”

Shingen said while patting Tetsu’s back.

“That guy must become a member of our family. We must have him fully absorb the Tennenshinshin style and perfect his swordsmanship. He will bring revolution to our Tennenshinshin style.”

Tetsu said.

“Yes… I’ve also come to want him as a son-in-law.”

Shingen and Tetsu began discussing ways to bring Shota into the family as a son-in-law.

———

Whoosh-!

I promptly and gentlemanly delivered Gonzaemon to Asuna.

“My, you arrived quickly.”

Asuna, not even surprised by the mysterious woman who opened a dimensional portal, supported Gonzaemon.

“This man… whenever he drinks with others, he tries to show off and drinks too much.”

Asuna held onto Gonzaemon.

“Honey… forgive me…”

Gonzaemon kept trying to kiss Asuna while speaking. This guy gets very affectionate when drunk.

But… the affection was effective. Each time Gonzaemon kissed her earnestly, Asuna’s expression softened slightly.

“Shota, Kana, Thumbs-up Man. Thank you. Sorry my husband caused trouble.”

Asuna apologized to us.

“No, it’s fine. We’re used to it…”

I’d been prepared for this since being forced to participate in the tournament.

“Umi… you’re going back with Shota, right?”

Asuna said.

“Yes. I’m going to Shota’s house.”

Umi said, clinging to me.

“Alright. But show your face at home for Christmas at least.”

Asuna smiled and closed the door.

The dojo door closed, but we could still sense movement. Asuna carried Gonzaemon on her back and headed straight for the bedroom. Right. We shouldn’t interfere with a couple’s affairs. We all decided to head home.

———

When we got home, for some reason, Madoka and Eri’s three sisters were there too. They were the youth members of our harem.

They were playing with something. Some kind of rubber toy-like objects were laid out.

They were… the heads of aliens.

“Ah, Shota. You’re back? I personally cut off their heads to report to you.”

Kirtan said with a smile.

“No!!! Kirtan!! What are you letting the children play with?!!”

I immediately shouted. This is bad for children’s emotional development!!

“It’s okay, big brother. It’s not a human head. It’s an alien head.”

Madoka said.

No… is it okay because it’s an alien head? Is this human-centrism…!!! So aliens aren’t living beings, just creatures.

Anyway, I had them put the heads away. But how do we dispose of these?

“These are just chunks of meat, right? Can’t we just throw them away as large food waste?”

Eri said dryly.

“Ah, I guess so?”

I immediately agreed. Eri collected the heads, put them in a food waste bag, and tied it up. We could just throw it out on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday.

“These people are scary…”

Mika trembled at the subtle madness permeating our home.

“Pink Beard made us this way.”

I said firmly. We were victims of Pink Beard’s invasion war.

“I think Shota would have been weird even without Pink Beard.”

Taiga said while patting the heads of Eri’s three sisters. Hey, that’s rude.

———-

“Kirtan. Who are these guys?”

Anyway, I asked Kirtan.

“Ah, they’re Pink Beard’s subordinates who invaded Earth. Our pirate crew managed to stop them somehow.”

Kirtan said with a smile.

“Kirtan…!!”

Who would have thought this guy would be responsible for Earth’s defense? With his pirate experience, he rarely loses fleet battles.

“The universe has been unstable lately. Rebels rising against Pink Beard are everywhere, and there’s civil war all around.”

Kirtan said.

“Aah…”

Last time, representatives from other planets came to Sasith’s house.

“But most are being swept away by Pink Beard’s power. They’ve been asking us for help… wouldn’t it be good to help them briefly before our overseas trip? To win public support too.”

Kirtan suggested.

“We could destroy Pink Beard’s stronghold and you and I could date while sailing through space. Two birds with one stone, right?”

Kirtan seemed more interested in the latter.

Should I take care of this annoying business before the trip? I was thinking about it.

But first, let’s convert the Memories of the Strong. With that thought, I called for Violet.