Ch.34Chapter 34. Don’t Deny the Past, Just Never Do It Again

To reach the Zramun Archipelago, one had to take the only ship available at the small port town.

The fare was extremely expensive.

This was because the peculiar flow of magical energy around the archipelago, which resembled a whirlpool, kept the ocean currents constantly turbulent.

Only skilled captains and navigators could ever enter the area.

Furthermore, due to the aforementioned magical currents, mages couldn’t teleport between the mainland and the archipelago.

This meant there were limitations to how Tigria the mage could pursue Lin and Lucy using magical mobility.

Conversely, this difficult accessibility made it an appropriate place for the Second Hero to seal away the demon sword.

“I’ll be back, Lucy.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright alone?”

“Yes, don’t worry about this place.”

“But still…”

“You’ll stay put, right?”

“Only if you come back quickly, okay?”

“I’ll finish as quickly as I can and return.”

Lucy reluctantly saw Lin off.

As much as she wanted to force her way along, she had committed sins that made it impossible to refuse Lin’s words.

At least with the red thread connecting their little fingers, Lucy focused on that sensation, ready to rush out immediately if anything happened to Lin.

The port town was truly nothing more than a fishing village.

It was embarrassingly small compared to Efalterga, and its name was simply “Path to the Archipelago.”

Though she thought there couldn’t possibly be any threats in such a place, Lucy remained vigilant.

It was just yesterday that she had been careless and nearly lost Lin after he was injured.

‘Since Lee saved you, you must protect Lee no matter what. Understand? From now on, your entire life revolves around Lee. Do as Lee says and always prioritize him above all else.’

Since leaving Valtercrois, Ravin’s words had never left her mind.

But following those words proved surprisingly difficult.

Sometimes, like now, Lin wanted to go handle matters alone.

Yet to protect Lin, Lucy needed to stay by his side at all times.

The need to protect Lin and the need to prioritize his wishes were in conflict.

Even now, Lin had gone alone to send a letter through the World Postal Service.

He had insisted so earnestly that it had to be done alone that Lucy had no choice but to step back.

Sitting on the bed in their single-room lodging, Lucy focused on the red thread and sank into contemplation.

Going deeper and deeper into the depths of her thoughts, she began to strip away the garments of excuses and rationalizations.

The first excuse was this:

‘I said it was difficult to find him because there were many enemies, not that I was giving up on finding him.’

This was about when Ravin had scolded her for not finding Lin when he was surrounded by monsters in Valtercrois.

She had felt her words were misunderstood.

She shook her head.

‘That’s just what I said!’

What if, instead of saying those words, she had charged forward to find Lin?

Wait, couldn’t she have used the red thread to find him, just like now?

Verdict: The excuse of a fool who couldn’t even properly use the tools at her disposal.

She cast that excuse aside.

Second, just as Lin had restored her, Lucy had sacrificed the holy sword to resurrect Lin.

This one didn’t even need examination.

‘Lin had been suffering from magical contamination from the beginning.’

And it was an injury he sustained from handling the Demon King’s horn with his bare hands, due to the mistreatment from the hero party.

It wasn’t giving medicine after causing illness—it was outright attempted murder through harassment.

And the reason Lin died at the hands of the succubus was to protect Lucy while she was recovering after drinking the elixir.

Verdict: A pathetic and contemptible logic that deserved limb amputation if ever mentioned again.

She cast it aside immediately.

Third, why had she let Lin touch the Demon King’s horn with his bare hands?

She had thought that since the Demon King was dead, the Authority: Demonic Energy would also dissipate, causing only temporary pain.

She had believed that if things went truly wrong, Arsil or Tigria would step in.

Verdict: Was she insane?

Fourth…

Fifth…

Sixth…

Verdict: All ridiculous excuses and rationalizations.

Moreover, all her transgressions during the Demon King subjugation journey, including the incident with the horn, stemmed from needless hatred and reckless harassment.

Excuses, rationalizations, lies, sophistry, petty pride.

After stripping everything away, all that remained was her obsession and fixation on Lin.

“Huh… huh…!”

It was disgusting.

Looking at her actions and inner thoughts from a third-person perspective was revolting.

Stripped bare, Lucy instantly fell into a swamp of self-loathing and depression.

“Kuk… ugh… aah…!”

The relationship between Lucy and Lin had been twisted from their very first meeting.

Whose fault was it?

Lucy’s.

The mistreatment and harassment within the hero party had been compounded.

Whose fault was it?

Lucy had led it.

From her betrayal until recently, had Lucy been helpful to Lin?

No, not at all.

Instead, she had made things harder for him.

Disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting

And yet she had the audacity to claim Lin as her own?

“Kuhuk…! Uwub…!”

Her hyperventilation worsened.

As her breathing accelerated, her brain relentlessly replayed memories of her wrongdoings.

‘You don’t deserve him.’

She was on the verge of losing what little qualification she had.

‘You only bring pain to Lin!’

Ravin had been right.

She was a completely useless woman.

‘The shield knight didn’t touch you, so you’re only physically a virgin. Your heart is that of the worst kind of tramp…!’

“Aaaaargh!”

The undeniable shame led to self-harm.

She struck her temples repeatedly and pressed hard against them.

‘You don’t deserve him. I’ll take care of Lee. I’ll heal his painful body and let him rest by my side forever.’

“No!”

Yet despite everything, Lucy had only one thing left.

Lin.

“Please don’t take Lin away.”

Her comrades had cut off her limbs.

“Please…”

The disgusting shield knight who had pretended to be her fiancé personally branded her a traitor.

“Haa… haa…!”

The one who embraced her and jumped off a cliff was not her celebrated comrades, but Lin, a mere porter.

The one who nursed her back to health and fought demons at the risk of his life was Lin, who had been a civilian.

But then,

Ravin appeared.

This woman, far more deserving than herself, had admonished Lucy and given Lin a pouch containing her ponytail.

Lucy couldn’t shake the feeling of losing to Ravin, who was far away, despite being right by Lin’s side.

Adora, the illusionist of the Magic Hero Party, appeared.

She expressed quiet anger at Lucy’s incompetence and revealed that Lin had been contaminated by demonic energy.

Lucy hadn’t known until then.

“Haa haa…!”

She hadn’t known anything.

“Huh…!”

What a worthless woman.

“Lucy!”

Don’t you dare cry.

“Breathe, breathe!”

How dare someone like you be with Lin…!

“Why are you hitting your head, Lucy?!”

Even so,

She wanted to be with Lin.

She hated herself for this shamelessness.

*Sizzle*

The red thread burned, awakening her senses.

“Kuhuk! Kuk!”

Only then could Lucy exhale the breath she had been holding.

Her blurred vision returned.

In front of her was Lin, drenched in sweat, urgently checking on her.

“Lin…?”

“Lucy, are you conscious?”

“What… what was I…?”

“You were hyperventilating. When I came in, you were hitting your head, and then suddenly stopped breathing. I was shocked.”

“I’m sor—”

She hesitated.

She was so sorry that she was afraid to say it.

The feeling that the value of an apology diminishes with each repetition.

Self-loathing for apologizing and then repeating the same mistakes.

Fear of not knowing how long she would continue to rely on his kindness and repeat the same behavior.

“Ugh… ungh…!”

Don’t cry.

Don’t shed tears.

Don’t burden him.

You worthless thing.

But,

“Lucy, are you really okay?”

She couldn’t help but crumble before Lin, who continued to worry about her.

She struggled to hold back her tears.

“Lin…”

Don’t cry.

“Are you alright?”

“Why do you stay with someone as wicked as me?”

Don’t cry, I said.

“I’ve done… so many terrible things to you… why do you keep me around?”

How dare you cry.

“If it’s for the sake of the world… I’ll do whatever you tell me to… if you’re suffering and in pain because of me… if you’re forcing yourself to be with me… I’m okay with that. Just tell me what I should do. I’ll handle it myself.”

“Why are you saying such things? I told you it’s not like that.”

“But Lin… you’re suffering by my side. Because of me… your arm… your heart…”

“Lucy.”

“I don’t know… Lin is so precious to me, but it feels too late. After causing you so much pain, now? I don’t know. How to apologize… how to repay… how to act…”

She did it.

Though her voice trembled, she spoke everything clearly without crying.

Now she just had to wait for his choice.

Lucy steeled herself mentally.

Accept whatever outcome comes.

“Lucy.”

“Yes…!”

“Did you do wrong?”

Ah, a different response than usual.

Normally, he would have said it was okay.

She sensed something was wrong.

Still, she would answer properly.

If she was human at all, she should at least answer properly.

“Yes… I did wrong…”

“Really?”

“Really… I did… many wrongs.”

“I see.”

Lin embraced Lucy.

“Never, ever do that again.”

“…!”

Don’t cry…

“Huk…! Uwuwuwuwuwu…!”

Lucy reminded herself:

Don’t be mistaken. He didn’t say he forgave you.

It’s clearly different.

Remember this well, Lucy.

But,

“Uwaaaaaaaaaaang-!!!!”

Lin, who had always just said it was okay, finally showed a tiny part of his true feelings.

Even if it was just a fragment of resentment,

It felt like salvation.

The disappointment of relying on his mercy again, along with relief, tore through her insides.

Like a faucet, her tear ducts burst, and Lucy wept bitterly.

Of course, she didn’t naively think that his heart was completely softened by this one incident.

From now on, Lucy would have to continue to prove herself through actions.

Nevertheless, she couldn’t contain this overwhelming emotion.

“Hueeeeeeeeeng…!!”

With her face completely contorted, she clung to him while crying.

“This is the last time.”

“Yes…! Yes…!”

Without any concern for dignity, she cried and wailed hysterically.

Shedding tears to the point where she might die of dehydration, Lucy trembled but clung to Lin.

“Lin.”

“Yes, Lucy.”

“You’re my only ally, right?”

“Of course.”

“My best comrade.”

“Naturally.”

And the next would obviously be my…

“I will serve only you for the rest of my life.”

“…?!”

Surprised, he looked down to find a hero with eyes completely different from before.

Despite carrying all her past sins, that straightforward gaze, following her earlier posture of seeking forgiveness with her entire body, gave Lin another profound resonance.

“Despite all my wrongs, may I continue forward with you?”

As Lucy carefully asked while suppressing her trembling heart, Lin felt the second greatest warmth since the day he had saved her.

*Clank!*

“No matter how painful or shameful the past may be, what we must write is the present.”

So he stroked her cheek with sincere feeling.

“And we must acknowledge that because of that past, we can now reflect, develop further, and become better people.”

“I’ll always remember that, my Lin.”

*Rattle rattle*

A second chain broke and fell away.

But unfortunately, only two chains had been loosened so far.

The door remained sealed, bound by numerous chains.