Ch.347Year-End Stamp Rally (2)

We had all finished our preparations for battle. We were dressed in kendo uniforms, a type of combat gear, and had our bamboo swords and spares all ready.

“Alright!! Let’s all charge in together!!”

Gonzaemon shouted loudly.

“Wait… wouldn’t it throw off the balance if you go too, Master?”

I asked Gonzaemon. He might seem like a bit of a goofball, but this guy was among the strongest in our world.

“Hmph. Yagyu will probably send out Jurota anyway. If their head shows up, I should make an appearance too.”

Gonzaemon replied.

Just then, right on cue, Thumbs-up Man arrived.

“I’m here for some legitimate doorbell ditching.”

Thumbs-up Man said with a serious expression.

“Yes, Thumbs-up Man. This is your chance to finally resolve your doorbell ditching issues.”

I smiled and extended my hand toward him.

Slap-!

Thumbs-up Man and I shared a passionate handshake.

“Really… you two have such a strange chemistry.”

Kana remarked in an odd tone.

“Isn’t that nice though? Men should have that kind of silly side to them. They say having friends to do stupid things with means you’ve lived a good life.”

Umi said.

“Umi… that’s surprisingly profound coming from you.”

Kana seemed surprised by Umi’s unexpected eloquence. No wait. Kana secretly looks down on Umi, doesn’t she?

“In that sense, Kana has wasted her life since she can’t act silly.”

Umi immediately replied with a sly smile.

“Why you!! You’re really getting on my nerves!!”

Kana immediately tried to punish Umi. I just watched quietly as the two bickered. There’s something entertaining about watching two women fight while their chests bounce around.

“Anyway, get in the car now. We’re heading to the Yagyu house.”

Gonzaemon said seriously.

“Do you know where it is?”

I asked.

“Of course. When I was young, I used to raid the Yagyu house every year.”

Gonzaemon reminisced about his happy youthful memories as he wiped his nose.

“Wait… that’s just being a nuisance.”

Kana objected.

“Yes, it is a nuisance. But!! It’s fine to be a nuisance. Even if you’re being a nuisance, win!! That is the way of the warrior!!”

Gonzaemon declared firmly.

“Master!! That’s so cool!!”

I immediately expressed my intense agreement.

“Hehehe. Right?”

Gonzaemon grinned broadly at my words.

“This is wrong. There’s not a single normal person here. I need to stay alert…”

Kana seemed to feel a strange pressure from being the only sane person.

Vrooooom-!

Anyway, the car headed straight for Tokyo, where the Yagyu house was located.

———-

Despite traffic issues due to the year-end season, we eventually arrived at the entrance of the Yagyu house.

A massive Japanese-style mansion stood before us. It might be stating the obvious, but it had that distinct Yagyu feel to it. It was exactly the kind of mansion a samurai family would live in.

“Those guys are recognized for their legitimacy in Japan, you know. They receive considerable support at the national level. Lucky bastards.”

Gonzaemon clicked his tongue as he spoke.

“But… the main gate is firmly closed?”

Kana pointed at the gate.

‘Absolutely No Dojo Challenges’

Extremely stern and serious writing was displayed at the entrance.

“Actually, the more prestigious the family, the more they avoid dojo challenges. There’s nothing to gain by winning, and too much to lose if they’re defeated. If they lose to another family, their reputation falls to the ground. And if they win, it’s just expected. That’s why they lock their gates so firmly.”

Gonzaemon explained.

“What cowards…!”

Something didn’t sit right with me. They sent people to challenge our dojo! Why can’t we do the same to them?

“However, there’s a way.”

Gonzaemon immediately brought his finger to the doorbell.

Ding-dong-! Ding-dong-! Ding-dong-!

And he pressed the doorbell repeatedly with incredible intensity.

If this were normal doorbell ditching, he would have pressed it and run away by now, but Gonzaemon’s goal wasn’t to ring and run. Rather, it would be okay if the other side got angry and opened the door.

Ding-dong-! Ding-dong-! Ding-dong-! Ding-dong-!

Gonzaemon pressed the bell with a steady rhythm, like a man born to press doorbells.

No matter how much they pretended to be asleep, such continuous doorbell ringing would surely get on their nerves.

Ding-dong-! Ding-dong-! Ding-dong-! Ding-dong-! Ding…dong-!!

“Whoa!! The detail there!!”

As a master of doorbell ditching studies (no actual degree), I immediately noticed the insane detail in Gonzaemon’s action.

“W-what! Shota! What’s happening?!”

Thumbs-up Man, a complete novice in doorbell ditching, immediately questioned me.

“If you press it in a steady rhythm, it creates a routine that they can tune out like background music!!! But he just broke the routine with an off-beat press!! They can’t ignore that!!”

I realized Gonzaemon’s deep intentions.

“No way…!!”

“Plus he’s mixing off-beats into the steady rhythm perfectly!! That can’t be ignored!!”

I looked at Gonzaemon in awe.

Ding-dong-! Ding-dong-! Ding-dooong-!! Ding-dong-!!

Gonzaemon pressed the bell mixing steady and off-beat rhythms like a fighting game pro pulling off combos.

“Stop it!! Gonzaemon!!!”

The door suddenly opened.

Yagyu house disciples immediately came out holding bamboo swords.

“Gonzaemon…..!!! It’s dangerous right now!!! Let’s just let it go this time, okay?”

One of them pleaded to Gonzaemon.

“No can do. I’ve resolved to raid the Yagyu house this year too. It brings me good fortune for the year.”

Gonzaemon stated firmly.

“Think about our situation too!! Just yesterday, three dojos came to challenge us!!”

He shouted loudly.

“Not my problem. I’ve even brought my disciples. Is turning away guests at the door the way of a samurai?”

Gonzaemon said.

“I’ve always been against this bad tradition!! Anyway, go back!!! The kendo world needs to break these bad habits and develop more elegantly!”

He tried to close the door.

“Fine. Then we’ll leave.”

At that moment, Gonzaemon made an unexpected remark.

“Ah, so you understand. Gonzaemon… has marriage changed you?”

He let out an obvious sigh of relief.

And just as the door was about to close, Gonzaemon immediately drew his sword from his waist. As a bonus, he enhanced his speed with the Incandescent Stance in an instant.

Whack-!!

The bamboo sword struck the man’s head directly.

“Gaaah!!”

He collapsed immediately.

“Now!! Go in!! It’s a dojo raid! Dojo raid!!”

Gonzaemon pushed open the main gate and charged in.

“Kiyoooooh!!!”

I caught the momentum and rushed inside.

“Kiyoooooh!!!”

Thumbs-up Man also followed, trying hard to imitate me.

“Isn’t this… not so much a dojo raid as simple piracy?”

Kana seemed unsure about that point. Tsk. Don’t sweat the details.

——–

“Damn it!!! They’ve invaded after all!!”

“Stop them!! I knew this would happen!!”

The Yagyu house disciples immediately blocked our way with their swords. There were a tremendous number of them. Even at a glance, there were over 20.

“A total of 300 disciples, 100 registered with the Kendo Association, it’s not just a neighborhood dojo scale.”

Gonzaemon smiled as he raised his sword.

“Our target is the head of the Yagyu house!! Yagyu Jurota!! He’s in the inner chamber!! Clear the path there!!”

Gonzaemon shouted.

“In war, losing the general means defeat!! Protect me, your general!”

Gonzaemon called out.

“Ooooh!! War!!”

There’s something about the word “war” that excites men.

“Let’s go!!!”

Thumbs-up Man immediately rushed forward with his sword.

“Hiyaaaah!!”

Thumbs-up Man swung his sword horizontally with great force, breaking their formation.

Slash-!

Meanwhile, Kana used her speed to close the distance to the interior.

Whack-!!

Kana immediately struck down at the enemy in front of her. It was a fierce attack utilizing the characteristic speed of the Thousand-Thought One-Heart style.

“Gaaah!”

The one who took the sword to his chin collapsed immediately.

“Alright!! All of you come at me!!”

I immediately applied the Incandescent Stance to my legs and stomped the ground with all my might.

“Hiyaaaah!!”

And I swung my sword widely like sweeping with a broom.

Crash-!!!

Though crude, the power of the wide-range attack was considerable.

“Aaaagh!!”

“These guys… they’re strong!!”

The enemies in front were swept away like autumn leaves.

“Master!! The path is clear!!”

I shouted loudly toward Gonzaemon behind me.

“Okay!! Let’s go!!”

Gonzaemon walked forward with dignified steps like a majestic general.

The Yagyu house was quite spacious. There was even a garden with a pond. It was definitely more splendid than our dojo.

“Argh! Every time I see this splendor, it irritates me!! I’m also a living national treasure of kendo!! I should get national support too!!”

Gonzaemon cut down all the disciples in sight, filled with deeply personal grudges.

Could it be… that he raids the Yagyu house every year because of such resentment? The thought crossed my mind briefly… but I decided not to dig deeper. Our master wouldn’t have such petty thoughts! No way!

“Shota. When we make a lot of money later, I want to make a garden like this.”

Umi hugged me and said.

“Sure. When we make a lot of money, let’s build one.”

I smiled and patted Umi.

“Yeah. And I’ll make you take naked walks in the garden.”

Umi unconsciously revealed her own perverted taste. That’s a bit… fetishistic, but if that’s what Umi wants. Well.

Anyway, we were crossing the garden when:

Bubble-! Bubble-!

Enormous bubbles began to rise from the pond water.

Splash-!

And disciples jumped out from the water. What!! It’s almost winter and they were waiting in the pond the whole time?! They’ll catch colds!!

“Gonzaemon!!!!!”

The guys who jumped out of the water immediately charged at us.

Whack-!!

Though momentarily surprised, we had no trouble responding. We simply cut down the attackers who were lunging at us from mid-air.

Anyway, cutting down everyone in sight, we proceeded deeper inside.

“………”

Thumbs-up Man wasn’t showing it, but his eyes were sparkling brightly.

That’s right. Resolve all your doorbell ditching issues here. I looked at Thumbs-up Man’s bald head with warm eyes.