Ch.342Chapter 342 Epilogue – Just as I Try to Take a Step Forward

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Confession… Yes, a significant confession.

It’s such an important confession that I wonder if there could be anything more important throughout all those countless repeated timelines that remain only as faint memories in my mind.

It’s a confession that requires mental preparation, one where I need to squeeze every ounce of courage from my heart to speak to you, my precious one who has always given me strength.

How could this confession not be important when it carries my wish for you to always stay by my side—you who came close to me without being called and breathed warmth into my life?

As I keep repeating the word “confession” in my mind, one of my hands starts to itch.

It’s an itch that won’t be calmed unless I touch the important item I prepared for this day.

If Shizu were awake, it would have been difficult to take it out carelessly, but now that she’s asleep, I can reach into my pocket and—

SCREECH-!!

…but of course, this inconsiderate train just has to make a sudden movement at times like this.

The friction sound of the train’s wheels against the rails as it races around a curved track pierces my ears.

Despite being a high-class train with decent soundproofing, this friction noise was unavoidable, making me almost miss the luxury transcontinental train we had chartered before.

Suu- Suu-

At least the noise wasn’t loud enough to wake Shizu, who was sleeping beside me with pleasant breathing sounds, so I could generously overlook that much.

I gently lowered my head, which had been facing the window, to look at Shizu nodding off.

She seemed to have fallen into a deeper sleep than I expected; her gently closed eyelids remained undisturbed by the train’s various movements, harboring a stillness.

Shizu sleeping was so well-behaved and beautiful that someone passing by might mistake her for a doll with closed eyes.

Only her shoulders, trembling ever so slightly with each breath, provided the sole evidence that this sleeping girl was not a doll.

Since my regression, I’ve watched Shizu sleep more than once or twice.

And without exception, whenever I watch her sleeping form…

Every time I see you sleeping with your gentle breathing, I catch my breath for a moment.

And every time I see your shoulders and chest rising slightly, my heart unfailingly fills with pounding and trembling.

How can I stop this pounding and trembling?

It was a question I always tried to find an answer to whenever I faced the same situation.

But this time, finding that answer wasn’t so difficult.

I carefully extend my right hand to stroke the sleeping Shizu’s head.

As if knowing that a hand reaching toward someone as precious as a fragile craft should not tremble…

My hand, which had been trembling uncontrollably just before reaching out, calmed the moment it touched your head.

“Phew…”

I quickly calmed my trembling heart with a light sigh tinged with relief, but…

Could she have felt my hand touching her head even though she should be deep in sleep with dim consciousness?

“Hehe…”

The faint laughter from your sleeping lips makes my heart tremble with joy once again.

It was because the sight of you purely rejoicing at my touch even while asleep was incomparably lovable.

I’m overflowing with happiness just being able to savor in reality what I could only feel in dreams before my regression—moments that would only lead to frustration upon waking to an unfulfilled reality.

I could let time flow just like this, but…

This time, I want to be a bit more greedy here.

I plan to take one step further after getting off this train and enjoying time with you.

It starts with a confession.

I rummage through my pocket.

I’m searching for something I can only take out now while Shizu is sleeping right beside me.

Although it’s something I prepared with the intention of showing Shizu from the beginning…

Since I shouldn’t show it now, I’m only taking it out now that she’s fallen asleep after chatting with me on the train.

It’s something I prepared to give to Shizu when such a day would come, shortly before heading east on a diplomatic mission while in the Empire.

Since I’ve always kept it close to my body to not forget it every time I acquired it, I can find it without looking.

“…Hehe.”

In my hand appeared a small, well-packaged box that made even me laugh lightly upon seeing it.

Though small in size, the state of the packaged box suggested it contained something extremely luxurious—the important item inside is a ring.

It’s similar to the engagement rings currently kept by both Shizu and me, but it’s meant to be used to ask for a relationship that takes one step further…

Yes, it’s a proposal ring.

“Sigh…”

Unlike a moment ago when I laughed lightly, this time a hot sigh escapes my lips.

The weight of the ring in the box, which felt lighter than a feather while in my pocket…

Felt heavier than a thousand gold pieces the moment I realized the importance of this ring I’d taken out.

It wasn’t strange that it felt heavy considering the weight this ring and what I’m about to do would have in my future life.

“Sigh…”

Oh dear, another heavy, hot sigh escapes my lips.

A strangely hot sensation rises in my chest.

It was a heat that had been rising ceaselessly since I decided to accomplish something unknown that I had never done before—different from mere anxiety.

I wonder if something’s wrong with my body and mind as I recognize that I’m about to do something I’ve never done before—not just before my regression, but in all the memories, whether vague or clear, that remain in my head.

It seems like something is indeed wrong.

Normally, when holding something heavy, one would first put it down to escape the weight.

“Hehe…”

It would be stranger to say I wasn’t malfunctioning when I was laughing lightly while holding the box containing the ring even more carefully.

Moreover, whether it’s a person’s body or mind, if something is broken, fixing it would be normal.

The heat rising in my chest, the strange distortion of perception that makes the box containing the ring feel too heavy to hold properly—the fact that I don’t even want to fix these things shows how severe my condition is.

Of course, I’m aware that if I leave myself broken like this, it will lead to unfavorable results.

So I’m thinking of fixing it quickly once we reach our destination.

When mechanical devices break down, they’re repaired by disassembling them and replacing the malfunctioning parts to make them work normally again.

But how can one fix a broken human heart?

I don’t know yet whether it will work or not, but I’m planning to use my own conclusion-based repair… no, treatment method soon.

I just pray it goes well.

I can only pray, and pray again.

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And so, I spent time carrying wishes and hopes in my heart inside the rattling train.

Since it was an ultra-long-distance journey from the northern edge of the continent toward the southern end, it would take not just a day but several more days to arrive.

This allowed me to spend quite a long time alone with Shizu on the train.

We chatted about trivial topics.

We ate the food provided by the train while facing each other.

The quality of the food was surprisingly good, so I also enjoyed the luxury of watching Shizu eat with a bright expression whenever mealtime came.

When it was time to sleep, we went to the sleeping car and said goodnight to each other before closing our eyes in our respective beds.

Some nights, I carried Shizu, who had fallen asleep unknowingly while chatting in the compartment, and laid her on the bed before seeking sleep in my own bed.

The next morning when I opened my eyes, Shizu, who had woken up before me, showed an expression mixed with gratitude for my care and inexplicable regret.

She brought her face close to mine with an expression of irrepressible embarrassment—this long journey finally reached its end.

As if an amazing landscape had unfolded beyond the compartment window, which had been showing constantly changing scenery that dispelled the boredom of the long-distance journey…

“Wow…”

An exclamation naturally burst from Shizu’s lips as she turned her gaze to the window while pausing our conversation—it was a beautiful scene enough to cause such a reaction.

Although the scenery outside the window had always been changing throughout our journey and was full of beautiful sights that were hard to dismiss…

It seemed a bit lacking compared to what Shizu was looking at now, as she couldn’t take her eyes off the window.

“Wow…”

The same exclamation naturally burst from my lips as my gaze naturally shifted to the window.

It was the sea. It wasn’t that I had never seen it before in my life, but…

The vast, endless horizon of the sea that couldn’t be escaped even by the very fast-moving train was majestic and impressive enough to make me exclaim in admiration without realizing it.

“We’re here.”

A bright voice flowed from Shizu’s lips as she exclaimed while looking out the window—a voice that showed no sign of fatigue that might have accumulated from the long train journey.

It was such a good voice that brightened the atmosphere around us, enough to draw a gentle curve on my lips as I listened.

But separate from the curve on my lips, as my expectation for our destination grew…

On the other hand, a bit of worry also arose as I wondered how Shizu’s expression would change after I properly proposed to her there.

Well, it will work out fine.

Everything I’ve done since restarting my life from the moment I had fallen most miserably—a life that had ended by turning into less than a handful of ashes—would be called miracles by others.

Confessing to take a step further in a good relationship with someone I like was merely a trivial matter compared to what I had done so far, so it would surely go well.

As I calmed my mind with such thoughts, I turned my gaze to Shizu, who couldn’t take her eyes off the window where the sea was endlessly unfolding.

“It’s beautiful…”

An honest appreciation flowed from Shizu’s lips as she looked at the sea with its blue waves undulating.

She must have really liked the sea she was seeing now.

Normally in situations like this, it would be right to agree and say the sea is beautiful, but…

The words that came from my mouth, with the same sight in my eyes as what Shizu was seeing, were:

“…Is it?”

A light denial rather than agreement.

Feeling doubtful at my response, Shizu turned her head toward me and said:

“It’s beautiful. Really beautiful.”

She emphasized to me that the sea she was seeing now was beautiful, with a brief but strongly confident tone.

By this point, I should have pretended to give in and agreed that the sea was beautiful, but…

“Well…”

I let out a faint laugh and lightly brushed off Shizu’s words.

Shizu’s gaze, which had been directed at the window, turned toward me.

“But it is beautiful…”

She spoke with a slightly dejected tone.

Normally, one would get angry at someone who responds like this, but…

Seeing Shizu responding in an unusual way to my unusual response…

I thought she might really cry if I teased her any further, so I stopped teasing and said:

“There’s something more beautiful right next to me looking at me, so I can’t really tell what’s beautiful.”

I comforted the dejected Shizu with an obvious line that might not even work in a cheap romance novel.

Originally, it was a line I was going to use to appease Shizu if she got appropriately angry at my words.

Using it like this, the already dubious effect would completely make me click my tongue inwardly.

“…”

After hearing my words, your dejected expression instantly cleared, and with wide-open eyes, you said:

“R-really?”

Seeing you not even trying to hide your obviously delighted reaction, I was relieved that it seemed to have worked well.

…I hope you’ll be this happy about the confession I’m going to make later.

Well, I’ll think about such complicated things when the time comes.

Right now, I just want to be honest about my desire to make you happy.

CLANK-!! SCREECH!!

The train’s speed, which had been constantly accelerating as we approached our destination, is now gradually slowing down.