Ch.342342. Total Crisis

“So, in the end, you agreed to buy Woohee another cat?”

“I already said it, so what choice do I have? I have to keep my promise and buy it…”

I really had no intention of buying one, but it didn’t seem right as a parent to break a promise to my child, so I had no choice. So I told her I’d make time next weekend to go look at cats for adoption… and Han Sol on the other end of the phone just burst out laughing.

He’s giggling uncontrollably like it’s absolutely hilarious. This guy. After I went through all the trouble of explaining everything, he just finds the whole situation amusing. While I’m being dead serious here.

“Hey, is this funny to you? Is this amusing? Can’t you see how serious my face is right now?”

“No, I can’t see your face, so I wouldn’t know.”

“Let’s video call, I’ll show you right now.”

“I would if I were home, but I’m outside right now, so I can’t. Sorry.”

His voice is dragging in a way that doesn’t sound sorry at all. He’s just messing with me.

I can’t really do anything about it. If he were in front of me, I’d at least grab his finger and bend it. Ah well…

“But isn’t having one cat or two cats basically the same? They’re all small anyway.”

“No, I checked out my mother-in-law’s place where she has multiple cats. There’s a surprisingly big difference between having one cat and having several. You need to prepare twice or three times as much food per cat, and above all, they shed a lot. Really, much more than you think. An enormous amount.”

Even humans, who have relatively little body hair compared to pets, noticeably increase the amount of hair around the house with each additional person. How much worse would it be with cats whose entire bodies are covered in fur?

It varies by breed, of course. But there’s hardly any breed that sheds less than humans—they all shed much more. It’s really extreme. People who’ve never owned cats don’t understand how bad it is. That’s why Han Sol can ask if there’s really any difference between having one or two.

“How much can they possibly shed for you to emphasize it like that? I’ve never owned one, so I don’t know. Is it really that bad?”

“You know how much hair comes out when you wash and dry your hair? Imagine that amount of fur constantly scattered all over your floor.”

“Wow, that does sound like a lot. Does it really come out that much?”

“Yes, and that’s from just one cat. Now imagine when you add another cat and the amount of shedding doubles. Can you even imagine that?”

Having two cats means I can forget about ever wearing black clothes when going out. As someone who always wears dark-colored pants, this will be an absolute nightmare.

It’s horrifying just to think about it. Honestly, I’d like to back out even now. But what can I do? I already promised Woohee. They say a man’s word is worth its weight in gold, so I have no choice. All I can do is buy a few more lint rollers…

“After hearing you talk about it, I just tried to imagine it. But just imagining it makes me want to sneeze. I couldn’t handle it.”

“I can’t handle it either, I really can’t…”

“So why did you make such a reckless promise?”

“You think I wanted to? Woohee was so persuasive, I had no choice.”

She did such a good presentation that people even suspected her parents wrote the script for her. The fact that such suspicions arose about a four-year-old child says it all. Honestly, I was skeptical at first too. Even though Woohee is smarter than other kids her age, this seemed beyond her capabilities.

I wondered if she had help from Hwa Nabi, her teacher, or some other adult I didn’t know about. But these possibilities seem unlikely.

If Hwa Nabi had helped, she wouldn’t have acted embarrassed about it, and if a teacher or another adult had helped, the presentation wouldn’t have included details that only our family would know. It’s fair to say there was no outside help.

“What did she say that was so persuasive? You keep emphasizing it, and now I’m curious. What exactly did Woohee say?”

“…Just, you know, this and that.”

“What do you mean by ‘this and that’? Is it something you can’t tell others?”

“It’s not that I can’t tell… Ah, why would a guy like you be curious about that? Just let it go, man.”

“What? Are you implying you would have answered if I were a woman?”

“If you were, I probably wouldn’t be able to talk to you this comfortably in the first place.”

Hwa Nabi is subtly, no, quite openly jealous. Whenever I’m on the phone with someone, she hovers around showing interest. Once she confirms it’s a man, she relaxes and goes back to her business, but if it’s a woman’s voice, all hell breaks loose.

Since I’m on a call, she keeps her mouth shut to avoid interrupting, but her expression constantly asks, “Who’s that woman?” If I don’t answer quickly, she sticks right next to me and starts messing with me—tugging at my clothes, blowing in my ear, and all sorts of distracting tactics. And if that doesn’t get a response…

-Creeeeak.

“What? Does your wife not let you talk to other women on the phone?”

“…”

Our eyes met—me lying on the bed holding my phone, and Hwa Nabi who had just finished drying her hair.

She said she was going to shower after coming back from outside, and apparently she finished quickly… the timing is quite peculiar. It makes it look like I’m secretly making phone calls behind her back.

‘Who are you talking to?’

‘Ah, well…’

“Hello? Han Siwoo? (Oh, you’re talking to Han Siwoo? Let me talk to him too.)”

Just as I was about to answer “Han Sol,” the person on the other end of the line suddenly changed. The familiar female voice calling my name sounds like Jinhee, which is… an unexpected variable.

Hwa Nabi doesn’t like me talking to Jinhee either. She says it doesn’t look good for a married man and woman to have private phone conversations. When I thought about it, she wasn’t wrong, so we’ve only been exchanging occasional greetings through others, but of all times, the phone had to be passed to her at this moment.

“Hey, Han Siwoo. Is today your day off?”

“…Yeah.”

“Really? Then what are you doing later?”

Why is she asking this? We rarely exchange more than brief greetings and updates, so why is she asking what I’m doing later, especially when Hwa Nabi is right here?

Before answering, I glanced at Hwa Nabi. She was approaching quietly, curious about my conversation, and her eyes flashed as if sensing something strange.

‘Wait, was that a woman’s voice I just heard?’

‘Umm, well…’

‘What is it? Is it a work call?’

‘…’

Should I be honest about this or not? While I was silent, unable to answer either Hwa Nabi or Jinhee, she narrowed her eyes and slowly approached me.

She had just finished showering and was wearing a bathrobe, which gave off a nice fragrance. It’s a strangely unfamiliar scent. Did she change her shampoo?

“Um, why do you ask?”

“Nothing special, I’m meeting up with Han Sol and some high school friends later, and the meeting place is near your house. We’re all old classmates, so it would be nice to see your face too.”

‘What do you mean why? Isn’t it obvious I’m curious?’

I only answered once, but I got two questions in return. Both Hwa Nabi and Jinhee seem to think my response was directed at them. This has gotten strangely complicated. I need to address one side first to move the conversation forward.

It would be better to deal with Jinhee first, since she’s far away. Just as I was about to answer, Hwa Nabi suddenly moved very close.

Annoyed that I wasn’t responding properly, she lifted my shirt and slipped her hand underneath, fondling a sensitive area. The sensation was so ticklish that I accidentally made a strange sound.

“Huh? What was that? Didn’t I just hear a weird sound?”

“…No, hey.”

‘What? Hey? Husband, did you just say ‘hey’ to me?’

I was about to say “I meant to say that to Jinhee” but quickly swallowed my words. I’m going through all this trouble to hide the call, so blurting it out would defeat the purpose.

But without revealing that, I couldn’t have a proper conversation. Denying it without explanation was just a half-truth, a baseless excuse that only made Hwa Nabi angrier.

‘Then what was it? Don’t tell me you said ‘hey’ to the person you’re talking to?’

“What’s wrong? Can’t you make it?”

“No, that’s not it…”

“Then what is it? Give me a clear answer. Can you come or not? I need to let them know.”

‘If you keep saying it’s nothing, I’ll start having thoughts of my own.’

Hwa Nabi, who was fiddling with my abs through my open shirt, issued a threat. Whether she was interrogating me or satisfying her own desires, I couldn’t tell, but the gleam in her eyes was definitely concerning.

I wanted to stop her, but unfortunately, my right hand was holding the phone, leaving only my left arm free. This meant that if Hwa Nabi was determined to do something to me, she could do whatever she wanted.

“I, I think I need to think about it… first.”

“Why do you need to think about something like this? What, do you need permission just to go out for a while?”

“No, it’s just…”

Hwa Nabi pressed herself against me and grabbed my left arm, hugging it tightly. With both my hands effectively immobilized, I couldn’t do anything, and she took the opportunity to undo my belt buckle with just one hand.

She’s become so skilled at undressing me that she can do it without even looking. If it had been anything other than my belt being undone, I might have applauded her. But while I was having these foolish thoughts, my pants were gradually being pulled down. Having effectively restrained me, Hwa Nabi was now lowering my pants.

“Just decide, are you coming or not?”

‘Just tell me, who is it?’

“…Just kill me now, kill me!”