Ch.340True Pinocchio (1)

We cleared the November dungeon with ease.

Before the dungeon appeared, we had desperately rolled around in the snow, trying to feel its sensation.

However, the dungeon vanished without warning.

———-

Whoosh!

As we returned to the real world, we were all enveloped by an inexplicable sense of emptiness.

“Well… that’s Emoshita for you.”

Despite being November, wearing a padded jacket during the day made you sweat. There were even places where mosquitoes still appeared. This was Emoshita, where we were experiencing global warming firsthand.

“Phew. That was tough, saving those penguins. Let’s have an after-party.”

Taiga had become nothing but an after-party parrot. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say he hunted monsters just to have after-parties.

“Should we go to that chicken place from back then, for old times’ sake?” Umi suggested.

“Ah, that place is delicious.”

Sasitsu nodded.

Besides the food… there were various memories associated with it. We’d run into our teacher there at random times. We even witnessed some of his sad memories there.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

I decided to reminisce about those days.

———

As we entered, the employee leaned coolly on the counter and said:

“The usual?”

They knew our order by now from how often we came.

“Ah, yes.”

I replied and paid. Sasitsu opened his wallet, but I decided to treat everyone.

“While we wait, shall we head up to the second floor?”

I suggested.

“We could just wait on the first floor. Why do you always want to go upstairs?”

Umi smirked.

“He’s just trying to run into our teacher. This guy is seriously into our homeroom teacher, I’m telling you.”

Taiga chuckled.

“……….”

“……….”

“……….”

At that moment, Kana, Tina, and Kirtan remained silent, crouching down.

“We joined the group later, so…”

“Hearing these inside jokes makes us feel left out.”

“I suddenly feel like drinking.”

The three of them spoke wistfully.

That’s… a bit unfortunate. I ended up talking about something only the original members would understand. I should have comforted those three, but I was too eager to find our teacher, so I hurried up to the second floor.

——-

I thought I might see him, and sure enough… our homeroom teacher was there. But he was with his girlfriend, Mimiko.

“Wow! Earth’s meat dishes are really delicious!”

Mimiko’s eyes sparkled as she devoured the chicken.

“Hehe. Take your time eating.”

Our teacher said with a smile.

“I-It’s not like I’m being a glutton…”

Mimiko said, then gently rubbed her belly.

“It’s our baby in my tummy who wants the chicken.”

Mimiko said with a broad smile.

“Well, if the baby wants it, we can’t help it.”

Our teacher gently stroked Mimiko.

“…Teacher.”

I felt a warmth in my heart. I’m glad he’s found such happiness.

If this were a novel, I think our teacher would be the character who’s grown the most. That’s honestly how I felt.

———

Anyway, after buying chicken, we had our after-party. Now that we’d cleared the dungeon, we could just spend November living our normal lives. All we had to do was wait for the vacation.

“Well, we’ve had our after-party… shall we call it a night?”

I was starting to worry about gaining weight from eating like this all the time.

And just as I was about to get into bed:

“Husband… thank you for protecting the world today.”

Eri, who had said she was going to the bathroom and had been gone for quite a while, greeted me from an unexpected place. But… she was dressed as a Santa girl. A Santa girl outfit that clearly showed off her figure.

“Tonight, we’ll take care of you.”

Mika said, prostrating herself respectfully on the bed. Due to her unique posture, her voluptuous breasts were squished against the floor, bulging out. She was also in a Santa girl outfit!!

“Hehe. I’ve been warming the bed at home diligently.”

Aiko-san also joined the mood in a Santa girl outfit. Wait… she’s a Buddhist nun, isn’t this inappropriate? This is a Western custom.

“I’ve been helping Mom too.”

Aki also said with a smile.

It seemed the housewife party, feeling guilty for not being able to help with the dungeon, had prepared this event.

“Oof.”

I immediately sprawled on the bed like a king. The Santa girls climbed on top of me and began to service me. November… honestly, it’s a bit early for Christmas, but who cares? It was fine to celebrate Christmas in bed first.

That night, I scattered warm snowflakes all over the bed.

———

My web novel work was going well too. Perhaps because I had won an award in a competition, I felt a steady flow of readers. Umi and Lei Lipeng’s illustrations were a big draw, but fundamentally, the work wasn’t criticized for its quality. I wasn’t a top-tier author, but the fact that I earned more than living expenses gave me a different sense of stability.

“All of you!! Getting excited just because it’s the end of the year!!”

Gonzaemon shouted at the dojo.

“Master!! It’s the end of the year!! Christmas!! Year-end parties!! And New Year’s celebrations!! It’s the busiest time of the year!!”

One disciple questioned.

“GO!!!!!”

Gonzaemon shouted loudly.

“My dad… is becoming more like Shota.”

Umi said with a distant expression while soothing her baby sister.

“…..”

Umi’s sister tried to suckle on Umi’s breast, thinking it was her mother’s.

“No, Sueko. These belong to our husband.”

Umi smiled and gently tapped her sister’s lips. That’s right. Umi’s breasts are mine. Yes, absolutely.

“There’s one event in winter!!”

Gonzaemon shouted.

“What event?”

“Winter is the season for dojo challenges!! In the kendo world, there’s an unspoken rule. At the end of the year, anyone can visit other schools under the pretext of learning swordsmanship and request a match!!”

Gonzaemon exclaimed.

“Dojo challenges… isn’t that too old-fashioned?”

“I’m just learning kendo to lose weight…”

The disciples wailed.

“Those without passion should leave!!! You cannot reach the path of the sword with a light heart!!”

Gonzaemon shouted loudly.

And the disciples promptly left.

The only ones remaining were me, Kana, and Thumbs-up Man.

“…Sniff.”

Gonzaemon was hurt by this.

———-

“M-Master!! You still have us!!”

Damn it… in the end, I was the only one who could heal the master’s fragile mental state.

“Y-Yes!! You’re the elite of our dojo!”

Gonzaemon immediately regained his composure. He’s really an easy person to please.

“The fun of the year-end is dojo challenges!! It’s like doorbell pranks in the kendo world!!”

Gonzaemon said excitedly.

“First, you keep knocking on the door of any school!! Prestigious dojos avoid challenges… but if you ring the doorbell for hours, they’ll eventually come out!”

Gonzaemon shouted.

“That’s just malicious doorbell pranking…”

Kana said. This is really malicious.

“Then when they come out to send me away, that’s when you crack their skulls.”

Gonzaemon said.

“That’s just robbery!! That’s indiscriminate assault!!”

Thumbs-up Man exclaimed.

“Tut-tut. The hungry spirit that wants to face the strong!! That’s what’s important!!!”

Gonzaemon stated firmly.

“That’s how I became strong!”

Gonzaemon shouted loudly.

“Come on!!! It’s year-end doorbell pranking… I mean, dojo challenging!! Once you start, you can’t stop!!”

Gonzaemon tried to gather warriors for doorbell pranking.

“Oh my, Master. I happen to be quite skilled at doorbell pranking.”

I said with a smile.

I had some expertise in doorbell pranking. When there was nothing to do, I’d go around ringing random doorbells to pass the time.

“Sigh… I’m not doing it. Why bother with dojo challenges? We can just fight in official tournaments like the Toshinhai.”

Kana tried to back out.

“Kana, let’s just do it. It’s fun to barge into other dojos and cause trouble.”

I said.

“That’s it!! Shota!!! As expected of my son-in-law!!! You have the mindset of an excellent kendoka from the start!!”

Gonzaemon nodded vigorously.

“You guys!! You’re insulting kendoka!!”

Kana shouted loudly.

“Doorbell pranking… I always failed at it when I was young.”

At that moment, Thumbs-up Man spoke with a distant look in his eyes.

“Huh? Why?”

In urban areas, nothing is easier than doorbell pranking.

“I’ve been bald since I was young. My appearance was too distinctive, so whenever I did anything bad, I’d immediately get punished at school.”

Thumbs-up Man said.

“A-Ah…!!”

I couldn’t help but cover my mouth.

I guess if someone was a victim of doorbell pranking, they could just ask the nearby school to “catch the bald student.”

“That’s why I have a longing for those minor misdeeds of youth.”

Thumbs-up Man said.

“I’ll come along.”

Thumbs-up Man wanted to join us.

“Yeah!! Thumbs-up Man!! Let me help you fulfill your regret!!”

I patted Thumbs-up Man’s shoulder.

“Sigh… I guess I have no choice. I’ll come too.”

Kana, after watching us, joined our side. The guy didn’t want to be left out.

“Then let’s launch our surprise attack this weekend.”

Gonzaemon said.

“Come on, Sueko. Let’s leave these men who never grow up and spend time with mommy, okay?”

Asuna-san took Sueko from Umi and played peek-a-boo with her.

Anyway, that’s how our weekend plans were set. Well… I should entertain Master before going on our overseas trip. And while I’m at it, help Thumbs-up Man fulfill his regret.

———

One night.

I fed Pinocchio the treasure sword, the reward for saving the penguins from Pinocchio.

Ding!!

With that, Pinocchio Sword’s attack power increased by a fixed amount.

“By the way, there’s nothing left to do here now.”

I said, looking at Bluebeard.

“Yes. You’ve conquered all the dungeons generated here. You’re ready now. Ready to face Pinkbeard.”

Bluebeard said.

“By the way, I’ve been using this Pinocchio, but something strange appears in the status window. Something about ‘True Pinocchio’ or whatever. Is there no way to strengthen it further?”

I asked about that point.

“…So you’ve discovered that far.”

Bluebeard muttered, looking at me in surprise.

“I guess it can’t be helped. It’s time to tell you.”

Bluebeard clicked his tongue and nodded to Violet.

These two… they seemed to know something about strengthening Pinocchio.