Ch.34??

This is.

Not a matter of resistance or anything like that.

The barrier of pure white flames stands unyielding, like the very walls of the world.

But is it merely unyielding?

The heat scorches my entire body.

The pain it causes is unspeakably terrible.

‘This level of…!’

But I couldn’t surrender to this.

Not to something like this!

Being dragged along by the oppressor’s unreasonable demands.

I simply couldn’t tolerate it.

Elehermina.

I fully understood how she viewed me.

But accepting that is another matter entirely.

I.

Will absolutely never accept her coercion.

As if I would meekly submit to such tyranny.

……

……….

“Enough. It is done.”

Resistance was futile.

Will was as fragile as a candle flame in a storm.

If that thing were human.

Could the world possibly be this unfair?

It’s cruel.

It’s brutal.

…However.

“Accept it. This is your destiny.”

From now on.

“Your destiny belongs solely to me.”

My heart dies, my will plummets.

Determination shatters, hope crumbles.

Like a soulless doll.

As if it had always been this way.

I returned to the empire with her.

But.

…That didn’t mean I would be reunited with my parents.

She knew me all too well.

Deep within the imperial palace.

In a room without even windows, somewhere unknown.

There, I wait only for her arrival.

“If it’s painful, don’t think about it.”

It’s nothing but suffering, isn’t it?

She gave instructions.

She would ask my thoughts, try to soothe me.

But everything happened according to her intentions.

Yet perhaps this was the best possible outcome for me.

“…Why did it turn out like this? This isn’t… what I wanted.”

Ceras, whom I hadn’t seen in a long time, was in terrible shape.

But I didn’t care.

If I start thinking, my head hurts.

I decided not to think.

I’m already dead anyway.

Close my heart. Lock it up.

Only to open when welcoming her.

Keep my heart closed.

She loves me.

She cherishes me.

If I were to try to strangle her.

She would accept the consequences with a smile.

That’s the kind of person she is.

…She is my savior.

My messiah.

Because I have no hope, nothing else anymore.

Nothing except the moments I spend with her.

…Everything else was utterly useless.

“It’s annoying.”

Unknown voices keep scratching at my eardrums.

My chest feels tight, and sometimes I can’t breathe.

It’s fine.

I just need to take the potion she gave me.

Don’t think.

Thinking only brings pain and struggle.

If I just act spoiled like this, she gives me everything I want, everything I wish to do.

I pluck the lute.

Even without relying on the potion, this is enough.

“Your expression has brightened considerably.”

Perhaps because I’ve stopped depending on unnecessary things.

My relationship with her has become smoother than before.

No, even before, it was truly warm and affectionate… anyway, undoubtedly… an ideal relationship.

“Is that really enough for you?”

Ceras asked.

Only she would periodically visit to clean this spacious room, then leave.

Besides Elehermina, only Ceras visits this place.

I prefer being alone.

It’s what I wanted.

This choice was never made because she wanted it.

This is the truth.

I always look forward to her.

Only when we’re together, only when we become one.

We become complete.

Like the sun and moon, when apart, it’s terribly lonely and desolate, even painful.

Don’t think about it.

I pluck the lute.

Endlessly.

Endlessly.

Until I forget even myself.

Continuously, I spread the melody.

-You’ve completely lost your mind.

……?

I heard a voice from somewhere.

-This can’t be happening.

I don’t know.

Something seemed important, but I can’t quite grasp it.

Don’t try to remember.

It’s difficult.

I’ve suffered enough.

I don’t want to try anymore.

Even breathing was hard.

Every time I opened my eyes, I hated that today had come, feared it, and it was painful.

Going to sleep was always frightening.

Because tomorrow would come.

I struggled so hard not to close my eyes.

That made it all the more painful.

I couldn’t hear properly.

Why couldn’t I understand what was being said?

Snap out of it.

Are you joking?

Why are you living like that?

Aren’t you ashamed to face your parents?

How long will you live like this?

No matter what, I had no escape.

Let me pray.

Let me pray.

Even the time when I was confined to a room and could only pray now seems peaceful.

But being locked up in a small room to pray was rather better.

Unable to sleep at night, unable to eat, training, studying, being summoned here and there.

Being cursed at, humiliated, despised, mistreated, mocked, compared, scolded, nagged, admonished, neglected, insulted, condemned, slandered, jeered………..

I hated opening my eyes.

I wanted to cover my ears.

If only I couldn’t hear.

If only I couldn’t see.

If I couldn’t feel anything.

I wouldn’t have suffered.

Even the air feels like needles piercing my lungs, only frightening.

Perhaps the world truly harbors malice toward me.

I wasn’t born to be blessed.

I wasn’t born to be loved.

…But to be cursed.

Perhaps that’s why I was born.

“It’s alright.”

Because I’m here.

Because I’m here.

You only need me, right?

“…That’s right.”

If I have you.

You’re all I need.

“I wish time would stop like this forever. You are truly, the more I look at you, beautiful. My El. Kariel. Kal.”

Even if the entire world harbors malice toward me.

At least she alone in this world….

Don’t ●get me.

● forget ●●.

Only ● ●●es you.

So ●● me too.

Like ●.

●●e me.

You’ll ●●e me, right?

Come to ●.

●, I’ll always ●● ●●●●ing.

“……”

Day by day.

Strange voices in my head grew louder.

Auditory hallucinations?

Or perhaps ghosts?

-This is quite a spectacle. No change for months? At this point, I’d have to acknowledge you’re insane.

By the way.

-What about our contract? You weren’t the type to be so irresponsible as to forget about it.

…I can’t hear anything.

-Is it autism? This is maddening. Having no one who understands what I’m saying is one thing, but when a toy breaks like this, it really puts me in a foul mood.

……

-I should have been the one to break you. But this bastard is beautiful when he’s not broken, isn’t he? There are limits to how much the world can mess with things.

What is there to lament?

Though I can hear it, it sounds like it’s coming from another world, not this one.

-Or perhaps there really was no dream or hope in this world. To think the so-called hero who saved the world is in such a pathetic state… How does causality even work to produce something like this? Yet the others seem perfectly fine….

…I don’t know.

I’m sleepy, so I’ll just close my eyes.

I used to hate falling asleep so much.

Closing my eyes was so terrifying.

But lately, I close my eyes without a care.

When I open my eyes, it’s actually difficult not to think.

But when falling asleep, it’s fine.

I can forget everything.

Even the thought and will that I must forget.

In an instant.

……

……….

-I’ve been watching your younger sibling lately, and it’s quite impressive.

……

-They say he has heaven-sent talent, and despite being praised to the skies, he remains humble, modest, and even compassionate. Wow, this is… neither Rueld nor Ermina have anything to criticize; they’re even seeking his advice!

How about that? Quite the contrast to you, isn’t it?

“……”

-Still no reaction. You’re not drugged, yet you don’t respond even when I provoke your trauma.

“……”

Tap.

Tap.

“Ah.”

I hear it.

Footsteps.

-Huh? You respond to that? This isn’t a pet, you know. If you had a tail, would you be wagging it excitedly for your master?

“……”

-Well, fine. I’ll stop prying now. Whether you can’t see me or you’re just gritting your teeth and ignoring me, I don’t know.

Anyway, don’t forget.

-The contract will hold you by the scruff of your neck even after you die. Without letting go.

Why contracts are so binding in hell and the demon realm, another name for hell.

-Find out after you die. For now, keep up your breathing exercises and roll around with the princess… no, soon-to-be empress, enjoy it while you can.

Even so.

Life is but a fleeting moment.

-…Wait a minute. Is this right?

Screech—

After a very long time.

I heard the sound of metal scraping.

I had never heard it before.

I unconsciously looked up at the void.

No, not there.

The ceiling.

No, not even the ceiling.

Deeper than that.

Deep inside.

-Huh? Oh, could it be? Was that it?

Yes.

From much deeper.

Someone.

Is looking.

——at this place.

A large finger comes toward me.

And then.

Pop.

The world burst apart seamlessly.

As if.

Someone had playfully poked a small water bubble, bursting it.

—

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