Ch.333IF Side Story. From the Beginning (101)

And back to the present.

Initially, I tried to convince myself everything was fine, but honestly, I remained anxious.

I wasn’t sure if I was this starved for affection, or if my feelings for them were causing this uneasiness.

Even knowing how dangerous it was to clarify emotions, I feared they might eventually grow tired of me and leave.

We’re still only first-years, after all.

The seniors are second-years, and they’ll become adults after next year. Once they’re in college, it wouldn’t be strange at all for them to find partners nearby.

…I know I’m being ridiculous.

I don’t want to date any one of them exclusively, yet I’m afraid and upset at the thought of them finding someone else. It scares me to think of them being with people other than me.

Afterward, whenever the kids would stick close to me, playfully kiss my cheek or lips, rest their heads on my thighs, hug me, or suddenly embrace me from behind…

I felt confused by these emotions.

…

This is dangerous in many ways.

So I decided it would be better to sort out my feelings at least once.

*

After things calmed down a bit, we made plans to meet.

The meeting place was, well, the same place we always meet.

The Magical Girl headquarters.

In typical comics of this genre, magical girls usually return to civilian life after their enemies disappear, but that wasn’t the case for us.

Perhaps because we impressed the Galactic Federation by melting down the circuits and generators with our power and turning them into pure magic, it seems our tenure as magical girls will be extended.

Maybe we’ll still be working even when we’re too old to be called magical “girls.” I wonder what we’ll be called then. Magical officers?

…Anyway.

That’s not what’s important right now.

We haven’t even become second-years yet. We haven’t even started vacation, though we’re almost there. But that’s not important.

This year, so many things happened. Really.

In just one semester, events around us spiraled out of control, and we ended up blowing up a massive space corporation’s base near Jupiter. Well, technically we weren’t the ones who blew it up, but we were certainly involved in the conflict that led to it.

But all those incidents were nothing compared to what I’m going through now.

I looked at the kids.

Blankets were spread all around us.

All I had said during lunch at school was, “I want to have a serious talk with you all,”

And Hayun had responded with an extremely serious expression, “Okay.”

“Then we should all sleep together tonight.”

“No, how did you reach that conclusion?”

“If the conversation gets long, a couple of hours won’t be enough.”

I couldn’t find any words to counter Hayun’s logic.

I mean, in terms of efficiency, she wasn’t entirely wrong.

Though it felt odd, I couldn’t think of anything to say against it, so I agreed. That’s how we ended up gathering at the headquarters’ lounge to sleep together again.

I rubbed my forehead seeing them all kneeling in front of me, but what could I do?

“…Alright.”

I muttered as if talking to myself, took a deep breath, exhaled, and spoke again.

“I want to know… your feelings.”

“I like you.”

“I already know that.”

Jihye quickly responded, but I cut her off, which made her deflate a little.

“Aren’t you being too confident?”

“People don’t usually kiss someone they dislike.”

When Seo-hee teasingly said that, I responded, and she giggled. I was being completely serious, but they didn’t seem to be.

Strangely, I didn’t mind. It didn’t feel like they were dismissing me, but rather that it was so obvious to them that they didn’t need to be serious about it.

“So, if you already know our feelings, what’s so important about this?”

Yeon-woo asked incredulously.

“…You really are overconfident.”

“But the logic is perfect. You don’t kiss someone you dislike.”

Chae-yeon and Ju-a each added a comment.

Pang Pang wasn’t here. She had too much to learn about the business. I plan to make time later to talk to her properly. Yes, she won’t be able to avoid my consultation.

I want to clarify these feelings once more.

You see, I may appear relatively strong on the outside, but I’m quite timid inside. I’m the type who constantly worries about and considers others’ feelings.

I don’t know if it’s because I crave validation or what, but I couldn’t just let their playfulness slide.

…I tried to, but it really bothered me.

“Do you understand what I’m asking?”

“I do.”

Hayun answered.

Unlike the others, Hayun wore a serious expression.

“You’re asking what kind of ‘like’ our feelings are. Whether it’s just friendship, general fondness as a person, or something else.”

“…”

I nodded.

“I like you, Jieun.”

That’s what Hayun said.

The same words Jihye had used.

But her expression was so serious that, even without further explanation, I could clearly feel that her “I like you” came from feelings beyond friendship.

Of course, Hayun didn’t forget my request.

“And obviously, these feelings are more than friendship. I don’t know what choice you’ll make.”

“…”

At Hayun’s words, the other kids’ expressions stiffened slightly.

“…I see.”

I looked around at the other kids.

“What about the rest of you?”

“Well, it’s no different from Hayun. Isn’t it obvious? Did you think I go around stealing kisses from just any friend’s lips?”

I suppose there might be people like that, but I didn’t think Seo-hee was one of them.

“M-me too!”

Jihye looked genuinely indignant.

“I see.”

“…You’re not going to ask us to choose just one person.”

Chae-yeon reassured me.

“Just being like this is good enough.”

“Someday, when you want to cross the line, well, you’ll know.”

Yeon-woo spoke as if giving a warning.

“…”

How should I put this?

Shouldn’t I be anxious after hearing all this? There are too many people who like me, and I’ve never once thought about wanting to let go of any of them.

But perhaps because of that, my pathetic heart felt reassured.

I see. So that’s how they like me.

“…”

We were silent for a moment.

“So, is that all you wanted to talk about?”

“Um… yes.”

Was it unnecessary to suggest sleeping together? Should I have refused when Hayun made that suggestion?

“Great, then!”

Seo-hee jumped up from her seat and exclaimed.

“Tomorrow’s the weekend, right? Let’s have fun all weekend! There shouldn’t be any emergencies this time!”

Seo-hee shouted.

Well, that’s true.

Noir Corporation is gone, and most crimes are under police jurisdiction, not ours. As for Kaijin… most of them seemed to be Noir Corporation’s doing. Though this part is uncertain, the possibility of Kaijin appearances has drastically decreased just with Noir Corporation’s disappearance.

So—

“Okay.”

As soon as I answered.

A pillow flew into my face.

Thud.

As I stared in disbelief at the pillow that had fallen to the floor, Yeon-woo, who had thrown it, stood up proudly and shouted.

“Pillow fight!”

Seriously, how old are you?

Besides, you’re my senior. You’re a year older than me.

If we count past lives it would be different, but in this world…

But, well.

It’s fine.

People always feel like children inside no matter how old they get.

I stood up.

And charged toward the kids who were each grabbing blankets or pillows.

The pillows and blankets were soft and fluffy.

Just like the emotions I was feeling now.

I could hear the kids laughing.

Hearing them laugh without any worries, I could finally feel at ease.

Perhaps, at some point.

The reason I fought was for those laughs.

*

When I opened my eyes the next morning, my body felt unusually heavy.

I’m pretty sure last time we slept, everyone lay in their own spots, but somehow today, all the kids were using parts of my body as pillows.

“…”

So, that means their words were truly sincere.

I lay still for a long time without making a sound.

I could hear the kids breathing. They were all still not fully awake after staying up late.

“Mmm…”

Hayun, who was using my arm as a pillow, made that sound.

Hayun.

I see.

She’s the one who allowed me to be here.

…Coming to this world, meeting all these kids has been my fortune. They’ve given me reasons to continue living in this world.

But Hayun is a bit different.

She’s not one of the kids I had to pull along, but the one who pulled me.

“…”

Let’s sleep a little longer.

Listening to their breathing, I slowly closed my eyes again.

With the feeling that I would have a wonderful dream, just like last night.