Ch.32Wake Up (3)

“Is that okay, Daisy?”

Caden asked Daisy right after speaking to Asena.

Daisy couldn’t answer and looked at Asena instead.

She was having her own internal conflict.

Daisy liked people who tried hard. People who quietly did what they needed to do without complaining much.

That’s why she couldn’t help but feel sorry for Caden. Despite being outstanding enough to become champion in the jousting tournament, he was still being oppressed by his twin… perhaps because he was adopted.

She wanted to say it was okay. It was hard to see someone like him unable to spread his wings.

But she was hesitating because of Asena’s warning from earlier.

Caden noticed this subtle tension.

Daisy’s expression hadn’t been good since she arrived with Asena, and now with the current situation, he couldn’t help but understand.

“Excuse me for a moment.”

He asked for understanding from Lord Hoslow and the student council president, then grabbed Asena’s wrist and pulled her away.

“Ah…!”

Asena couldn’t resist his strength.

Caden didn’t let go of Asena’s wrist until they left the student council room, crossed the hallway, and were alone.

“…Brother, I’m not okay with this. Why do you want to be Daisy’s knight? You should be my knight—”

As Asena spoke while being pulled along, Caden turned around and cut her off.

“Asena. Did you say something to Daisy again?”

“…..”

“You did, didn’t you? Telling her not to get close to me.”

“….”

“Didn’t I warn you last time? You said you wouldn’t do that anymore.”

But Asena didn’t back down either.

“…Brother. Wake up.”

“….What?”

“Don’t think about getting involved with Daisy.”

“What do you mean by ‘involved’?”

“Daisy needs her own marriage, as she said. With someone who isn’t you.”

“….I’ve never thought about that, Asena.”

“Your actions suggest otherwise.”

Asena seemed to be exploding with anger she had been suppressing.

“Giving her flowers at the jousting tournament. Asking her to dance at the ball. Now you’re trying to become her knight. How am I supposed to take this?”

“Once we came to the Academy, connections with people were inevitable. If I only wanted to improve my skills as a knight, I would have just stayed in the Praester territory. Why would I have come all the way here?”

“….Why don’t you just go back to our territory, brother?”

“What?”

Caden frowned. Anger was slowly creeping onto his face. It was an expression rarely seen on him.

“….I’ll finish things here and come back. You should just go back.”

“…Ha..”

Caden turned his head and gave a hollow laugh, then ran his hand through his hair.

Asena took a step forward and tried to grasp the hem of his clothes, but Caden gently blocked her hand.

Caden took several deep breaths, as if making a resolution.

With a hardened face, he looked at Asena.

“…….Asena. Let’s just talk openly now.”

“Huh?”

“I’m tired of hiding and playing games. From now on, let’s only speak the truth. You answer my questions truthfully, and I’ll answer yours truthfully.”

Asena was concerned about his expression, but she nodded.

“…Then I’ll ask first, brother. Do you like Daisy?”

“I don’t like her. Now it’s my turn to ask. How do you think of me?”

“……”

Asena froze at Caden’s direct question. Her mind went blank.

The only answer to the question was “I love you.”

She wanted to form a marital bond with him. She wanted to have children with him. She wished he wouldn’t show interest in anyone else. It had always been that way since childhood.

But she couldn’t say such things now, nor could she ever.

While she saw him as a man, he saw her as a sibling, so if she spoke up, he would surely back away.

“….I like you. Why are you curious about that now?”

So Asena hid the words “I love you.” She couldn’t even judge what the right choice was. Whenever she talked with him, she always became emotional.

“…….We agreed to speak honestly, Asena.”

But as if reading her mind, Caden didn’t believe her words. Asena’s heart started pounding. Could he already know?

“…Huh…?”

But the words that followed weren’t so affectionate.

“I… heard everything.”

Caden spoke with a subtly trembling voice. The excited feeling instantly turned into anxiety. The world never flows as one wishes.

“I heard everything, Asena.”

Asena’s mask shattered. Her eyes drooped, and her lips parted slightly. Her breathing quickened, and her legs weakened.

“……What…”

To her small question of disbelief, a flood of words that he had most wanted to hide from her began pouring out of Caden’s mouth.

“The words that you don’t think of me as your brother. That I’m an adopted child with no blood relation. That you’d be more comfortable if I weren’t at the Academy…”

Asena was momentarily stunned, and reflexively reached out her hand, but Caden avoided her grasp. No words came from her mouth. She was just afraid that Caden in front of her would disappear like a mirage, her heart racing ahead of her thoughts.

Only squeezed-out excuses leaked out.

“No…that’s not it…”

“…..I heard everything. Why can’t you just say you’re ashamed of me?”

Asena shook her head vigorously.

“No..! Why would I be ashamed of you—”

“—While not being ashamed, you tell others I’m not family. You wish I wouldn’t participate in the jousting tournament, and at the ball, you put me in the background like a prop? Asena, this isn’t something to make excuses for. Just now you told me to go back to the territory.”

“……Ah..”

“We agreed to speak openly.”

Asena needed time to think. She needed a moment to figure out how to resolve this situation well.

“….Brother, let’s go to my room and talk.”

“There are other people in the student council room, where are you going?”

“Are those people important right now?”

“What difference does it make if we talk somewhere else?”

But Caden didn’t give her any space. Asena’s head was still buzzing, and she couldn’t come to her senses.

This was the first time she had been caught in such a major wrongdoing. And by the person she least wanted to find out. Her heart was pounding painfully, and cold sweat ran down her back. She probably wouldn’t have been this flustered even if her life had been at stake.

“…Brother..I was wrong. That’s not it.. So..”

Caden let out a long sigh.

Then, he gently took some of Asena’s hair and smoothed it down.

“….It’s okay. I’m not angry…I’ve decided to understand.”

“Huh…?”

A small breathing space opened up for Asena.

“….The Praester Family.. Well. I can somewhat accept that I’m the only flaw in such a powerful family. Even Grandmother Riana warned me to be careful of the Academy’s politics.”

“…….”

“Of course…I didn’t expect you all to treat me like this…but still. I must love you all too much. I can’t easily hate you. I understand…your choice.”

“….Brother..”

He smiled and let go of her hair, then touched Asena’s cheek.

“..But you know what? It hurts as much as I love.”

Asena swallowed. His pain felt as vivid as if it were her own. He must be hurting more, but it was a pain difficult to endure.

“…We agreed to speak honestly, right?”

Asena looked up at him. She was beginning to fear the words that would come out of his mouth. It was a fear she had never experienced before.

“………I’m planning to leave the family, Asena.”

“……………….Huh……?”

Caden gently caressed Asena’s cheek with his thumb, giving a bitter smile as he spoke.

“…..How should I put this…”

“Brother, what did you say?”

Asena hoped she had misheard. No, she wished she had misheard.

“……If being in the Praester Family is a flaw, then leaving is the right thing to do. No. We agreed to be honest, right? I just don’t want to be hurt anymore.”

“Leave…? You’re leaving me..?”

Caden seemed to have difficulty speaking, repeating “Ah” and “Um” before slowly nodding his head and saying:

“….I think I’ve tried hard. As you said…I’m an adopted commoner…but I tried to be proud despite that.”

“Why…why are you doing this.. You’re joking, right?”

“But now I see I was going in the wrong direction. I can’t stand proudly by your side. I was too greedy. Just look at Judy, the illegitimate daughter, suffering like that. Yes, I’ve been too comfortable.”

Asena grabbed Caden and shook him.

“Brother!!”

Caden was shaken for a moment, then let out another long sigh.

“…..Sigh…what.”

Comforting Asena, whose expression was deteriorating, Caden said:

“It’s not like I’m trying to ruin our relationship. I understand, I said. Politically, you might be ashamed of me. There’s no problem when we’re alone, right?”

“That’s not it…! Why are you leaving me..! You promised to always be by my side…”

“Why are you surprised, Asena? You were planning to banish me after graduation anyway.”

Asena opened her mouth, but as if a stone was blocking her throat, no words came out.

“You didn’t forget, did you?”

Only after she started to suffocate could Asena inhale a rough breath again and find words to say.

“…That was just…! I said you’d only lose the Praester family name…! You don’t need to go anywhere else, and we’ll treat you even better…?”

“I don’t want to live like that.”

“…What?”

“That’s the life of livestock, not the life I want. No matter what you do to me, I am a Praester. And as a Praester, I want to be helpful to the family.”

Caden loosened his neck and proudly puffed out his chest. It was as if he wanted to announce who he was.

“I’m planning to join another family as a retainer. With my abilities, I should be able to join as a knight. I’ll mediate when conflicts arise with the Praester Family. Acting as a channel like that is better than my current state that you’re ashamed of.”

“……..”

“You understand why I want to be Daisy’s knight, right? The Hexter Family has come into my view.”

“….No. I can’t allow it. If that’s the reason, I definitely can’t permit it.”

“Permit?”

“Yes. I can’t permit it.”

Asena hardened her expression again and glared at Caden. But it didn’t seem very threatening to him.

“Asena, I don’t need your permission.”

Asena shook her head. She grabbed Caden’s clothes again with both hands and spoke.

Since he wasn’t swayed by any words, all that remained was distrust.

“….You’re lying. You’re lying, right? Brother…no matter what I did wrong, you always came back to me.”

“….I’ve been saying it. Not just the family….I’m too hurt now. Or what, are you suddenly going to change your attitude and say you like me in front of people? That doesn’t make sense. Then there would have been no reason for me to suffer all this time. It would be better to spread the story that an adopted child like me is not a family member to raise your status.”

“No, I won’t say strange things in front of others anymore. Okay? So…”

“If there was an opportunity, it was last time. I clearly asked you to love me…”

In that moment, Asena recalled something she had read a few days ago.

An article about generous people. That once a line is crossed, they don’t come back.

Remembering that, Asena’s heart was squeezed again.

If she had already crossed the line, would he never return?

Asena didn’t know what her expression looked like, but Caden approached and held her face to his chest.

“Asena. It’s okay. This conversation is over now. If we talk more… well.. we don’t need to walk around with red faces, right?”

Asena couldn’t say anything.

If it were someone else, it would be different.

Conversations with Caden are too emotional.

Swept up in those emotions, her vision narrowed.

She couldn’t tell what the right choice was.

Even if she wanted to apologize, he had already said it was okay with a smiling face. Yet at the same time, he didn’t take back his words about leaving.

If only he had gotten angry, then she would have begged for forgiveness somehow.

But with him just smiling and hugging her like this, she had no idea how to ask for forgiveness.

“Brother…it’s really not like that…where are you saying you’ll go…”

“This conversation is over. I’ve stated my opinion, so let’s talk with Kirsy later.”

Asena couldn’t respond in any way.

She couldn’t accept that this warmth she was feeling now would leave her.

****

When the two returned to the student council room, the moment of decision approached.

Daisy’s eyes went to Asena following behind Caden. She looked dejected.

Seeing Asena like this for the first time gave Daisy a strange feeling.

To make Asena look so down… is this why Asena hated Caden?

As the only one who could suppress her?

“…Daisy. Would it be alright if I took charge of your escort?”

Caden asked. At that moment, Asena glared at Daisy.

It seemed like she was telling her not to forget the earlier warning.

But Daisy was swayed by emotions she couldn’t understand herself.

The Caden before her was an unusual person.

He’s the adopted child of the Praester Family.

When he was an orphan, he grew up in an orphanage run by her family. He must have worked incredibly hard to show overwhelming prowess in the jousting tournament… and now it seems he can even shake Asena to some extent. She had thought he was only being pushed around, but this too was an unexpected side of him.

Before making her decision, she moved closer to Caden.

Asena looked even more uncomfortable behind them, but Daisy wasn’t the type to be intimidated by such things.

She was someone who could call right as right and wrong as wrong.

“….?”

As Daisy approached, Caden offered his ear.

She whispered:

“….Asena doesn’t want you and me to become close.”

Caden heard this and thought for a moment, then whispered back to her:

“…..I just realized that too. I thought she wouldn’t do it again after I warned her once before.. I’m sorry. Are you in an awkward position?”

“…That’s not it, but are you okay, Caden?”

“Pardon?”

“By coming to me, couldn’t you face even more discrimination from your family…? I’m fine with it. It would be an honor to have someone as capable as you as my escort.”

“…..I’m fine with it too.”

Daisy thought for a long time again, and finally asked:

“….Just one more thing. She said if I became close to you…Asena would bully me…”

“….What?”

Caden turned to look at Asena standing behind him.

Asena was staring at them with cold eyes, but as Caden turned his head, she withdrew her gaze.

Caden sighed and thought:

‘…To go that far…’

He was disappointed again.

Why was Asena becoming a villain again?

Caden looked at Daisy and declared:

“..Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”