Ch.32Three Idiots (7)

When I woke up, I was alone in the bed. And Ju-an, who had been beside me, was on the floor instead of the bed. Did he roll off while sleeping?

Anyway, if I have to make breakfast for Ju-an too, just like yesterday…

It’ll definitely take a long time. What’s something easy to make in large quantities?

With that thought in mind, I quickly got ready and woke up Ju-an.

“Wake up, we need to go to school… no, we need to go to work.”

We don’t go to school anymore. Actually, “can’t go” might be the more accurate expression. Either way, he needs to get up and get ready.

“Okay…”

Ju-an looked as haggard as a corpse. What on earth happened last night?

“Are you sick somewhere?”

“No… I just couldn’t sleep…”

“Why couldn’t you sleep?”

“You know you have bad sleeping habits, right…?”

According to others, my sleeping habits are pretty severe. They say I tightly hug anything next to me, but I don’t really notice it myself.

But with this body having so little strength, he could easily push me away with minimal effort.

Besides, he’s become excessively strong, so no matter how much I hit him, he doesn’t feel any pain. So why couldn’t he sleep…?

I don’t know. He probably couldn’t sleep because he was worried about that orange-haired guy or something.

“Then I’ll go prepare breakfast. You should wake up and come out soon.”

I think I’ll just need to make about 14 servings of Kimchi Stew today.

It’s amazing that there are pots and ingredients to make that much, but what’s even more surprising is having a stomach that can devour 10 servings alone.

Meanwhile, I can’t even finish one serving by myself.

And so I went off to another round of hard labor.

***

Stew is definitely easy to make. But when you have to make 14 servings, the difficulty increases insanely.

Adjusting the seasoning becomes much harder, but preparing the ingredients is even more exhausting.

My body has so little strength that just carrying the ingredients drained me completely.

And because there’s so much, the cooking time takes forever.

So this is what they mean by torture through food!

***

Preparing breakfast was exhaustingly difficult, but somehow I managed to finish it.

“Breakfast is ready!”

As soon as I called out that it was mealtime, everyone started slinking out of their rooms.

Once everyone gathered at the table, Agath looked back and forth between me and Ju-an and said:

“Surprisingly strong in bed, huh… So how was your first experience?”

“Nothing happened yesterday.”

“Then why couldn’t that boy sleep a wink?”

“How would I know?”

“So did it feel good?”

“…One more word and I’ll take away your food bowl.”

Continuing this conversation will only make things harder for me. The best solution is to cut it off as quickly as possible.

Fortunately, Agath wanted to eat breakfast, so she immediately quieted down.

Just as another peaceful mealtime was about to begin, Rebecca irritated my nerves this time.

“By the way, you did use protection yesterday, right?”

“For fuck’s sake, I told you nothing happened yesterday! We just slept!”

“You’re moving slower than I expected.”

“Do you want me to take away your food bowl too, Rebecca?”

Thanks to my threat, Rebecca finally quieted down too. Now there really shouldn’t be anyone else to irritate me.

“It’s fine to do it, but if you’re going to have a baby, it would be better to wait until after defeating the Demon King.”

Even Leo, the person I trusted most, started getting on my nerves.

“Damn it, I don’t even want to do it in the first place!”

“I’m just saying this to prepare for the future.”

“Everyone shut up before the person in charge of housework goes on strike!”

And with that, the room became dead silent. Now truly, absolutely no one will irritate me…

“Is there any more rice?”

Now this damn clueless deceiver is irritating me by asking for more rice.

If he’s hungry, he should just make it himself. Why bother me? He’s much stronger than me, so what’s so difficult about it?

Grumbling like that, I scooped more rice for him, and Rebecca and Agath started whispering to each other.

“They’re just like newlyweds.”

“I’m sure something definitely happened yesterday.”

“Damn it, I can hear you!”

My suffering continued even after that.

***

Normally after breakfast, I’d have to clean up too, but today Ju-an said he’d do it instead, so I got some extra free time.

So I quickly washed up, got ready to leave, and now I have a whole hour to rest before work!

By the way, washing up was still embarrassing today. I wonder when I’ll get used to this…

Changing clothes is somewhat easier now that I’ve built up some tolerance, though it’s still embarrassing.

Anyway, while I was resting comfortably, Ju-an came into the room.

“Did you finish the dishes?”

“Yeah… I’m just going to close my eyes for a bit…”

And then Ju-an collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep like he’d passed out. What on earth did he do yesterday to be like this?

It’s not my business anyway. Let’s just rest now.

As I was relaxing comfortably, it suddenly became time to leave for work. Four days left until the weekend.

“Hey, it’s time to go, so wake up.”

“Just five more minutes…”

Despite my warning that I’d leave without him, Ju-an didn’t move at all.

No matter how many times I tried to wake him, he wouldn’t get up. He kept sleeping even when I stepped on him. He still slept even when I splashed water on his face.

I give up. I’ll just leave without him.

So I left Ju-an behind and headed to work.

***

While we were all heading to the office, Agath asked a question.

“By the way, when did that boy go back?”

“He’s probably still sleeping in my room.”

“Why didn’t you wake him up?”

“Once he falls asleep, he won’t wake up even if he dies. In these situations, it’s best to just leave him be.”

If I still had my strength like before, I might have been able to force him awake, but with this pathetic body, I couldn’t.

Wait, should I have kicked him in the groin? That might have woken him up.

But that wouldn’t be right as a man. Anyone who knows that pain, unless they’re a psychopath, absolutely couldn’t do it.

“How intensely did you go at it last night for him to be in that state?”

“I’m telling you, nothing happened!”

“So which position felt the best?”

“I’m serious, nothing happened. If you don’t believe me, use that lie detector you wrote before.”

“That would be invading your privacy, so I can’t.”

Agath said with a playful smile. I really want to punch that face hard.

“You’re just teasing me, right?”

“Yep!”

“Of course.”

“That’s right.”

Not just Agath, but Leo and Rebecca suddenly answered together. So the three of them were on the same side from the beginning. I really don’t have a single person I can trust around here.

“So how many times did you come yesterday?”

“…”

And so, until we arrived at the office, I was mercilessly beaten by those three with their provocations and fabrications.

I feel like killing myself…

***

As soon as we arrived at the office, Leo went to the home coffee machine and asked:

“Anyone want coffee?”

“Me.”

“I do.”

“I’d like some too, please.”

I haven’t been drinking much coffee lately, but I still like it.

“Any specific orders?”

“A hot iced Americano.”

“I’d like lemonade, please.”

Agath and Rebecca playfully ordered nonsensical drinks. And as Leo put coffee beans into the machine, he said:

“Two café lattes, right?”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

The Americano and lemonade had turned into café lattes. Don’t ask me how Leo understood that. I have no idea either.

“Do you want anything specific?”

“Espresso, please.”

“It’ll be bitter, are you sure?”

“I’ve adapted to it, so it’s fine.”

When I first tried it, it felt like bitter sewage water, but as I kept drinking, I eventually fell in love with its flavor.

I used to drink three cups a day because I liked it so much. As a result, my sleep pattern got messed up, which was painful.

“What about you, Leo? What are you having?”

“Café mocha.”

“Surprisingly, you like sweet things?”

“Life is bitter, so I need something sweet to balance it out.”

“Are you going through something difficult?”

“The status of magicians is declining day by day, and it’s terribly difficult. Until last year, we were considered equal to judges and prosecutors, but now… how did it come to this?”

Leo lamented about the state of magic. By the way, was the status of magicians that high?

“I didn’t realize magicians had such high status.”

“Magicians are high-level personnel. In the field, they’re treated with reverence, they can easily get office jobs anytime, and once you reach mid-level mage, your annual salary is higher than a doctor’s…”

“That’s why they’re useless in combat.”

Agath suddenly pressed Leo’s trigger button.

“They can be used in combat too! There are so many combat spells…”

“The weakest trash class in 1-on-1 combat.”

“But in team play…”

“A really useful supporter, but completely useless trash in actual combat.”

“…You bitch.”

“Don’t use such strong language… it makes you look weak.”

For some reason, Leo didn’t have an outburst and just listened quietly.

“You’re not getting angry this time?”

“I can’t get angry at someone who doesn’t understand reason.”

“That’s true.”

As we chatted away, the coffee was finally ready. And Leo stood in front of the coffee and started doing something.

“What are you doing now?”

“Just some simple latte art.”

I didn’t expect him to know how to do that. He seems to have some expertise in this area. So I can drink the coffee with peace of mind.

After a little while, Leo distributed the coffee to us. And when Agath received her coffee, she said with bewilderment:

“…Why is there extremely realistic cockroach latte art on mine?”

“I thought you’d like it.”

“I don’t have that kind of taste.”

“I know.”

So that’s how you get revenge on someone who doesn’t understand reason. I should make dinner extra salty for them next time.

Anyway, the aroma of the coffee was perfect. It was as good as coffee sold in professional coffee shops. With this aroma, the taste must be good too.

So I took a sip of the coffee.

“…Could I have a sugar cube, please?”

“Take one from that box over there.”

Leo pointed to a box in the corner. I think there were about 22,500 sugar cubes in there?

That amount would last until I die and still have some left over.

So I put a sugar cube in my coffee and took another sip.

It was still terribly bitter. So I added another sugar cube. Still bitter, so I added a few more.

After repeating this process a bit more, the coffee finally became drinkable.

“…If you’re going to put 15 sugar cubes in your coffee, why didn’t you just ask for something sweet from the beginning?”

“No, I really used to drink espresso well…”

“So who’s the person who put 15 sugar cubes in?”

“This is because of the body swap…”

“15 sugar cubes.”

“…”

I used to be able to drink such bitter coffee well. But now that my body has changed, it tastes unbearably bitter.

I really used to drink it this bitter. I’m sure I did…

And so I drank what was essentially black-colored sugar water.