Ch.32Catharsis 8

I had a pleasant dream.

Not one where I was being taken advantage of, but one where I conquered someone else.

In it, I savored the other person to my heart’s content.

The flesh that moved at my command was truly ecstatic.

A relationship where I could take the lead.

That was the adult life I had been craving.

I woke up with that life still in my mind.

The vast night sky stretches before me.

A store bathed in bright moonlight.

There, I slowly raised my head.

“…”

The first thing I saw was an unfamiliar woman.

With dark, elegant hair and red eyes.

She was resting her chin on her hand, staring down at me as I slept.

“Oh, you’re awake?”

The woman turns her head toward the counter.

I follow her gaze to the bar table.

There was the woman I had touched freely in my dream.

She flinches when told that I’ve awakened.

And then she welcomed me with a somewhat tense expression.

Could she be making that face because I tormented her so much?

My head throbs.

Come to think of it, when was the last time I released my pheromones for so long?

Probably when I killed the CEO’s bodyguards.

Yet somehow this woman survived.

That’s a relief…

Following that thought of relief comes a wave of embarrassment.

I’m just sorry for the woman who had to endure my shameful behavior.

But I wasn’t in my right mind then.

I had escaped from the councilman.

I was wandering the streets, following traces of Anna, the only savior in my life.

And that’s how I arrived at this inn.

There was a pretty woman there, polishing glasses alone.

At first, I just thought I’d get some drinks from her since she looked easy to deal with.

Because I couldn’t bear to stay sober.

But when I soon sensed Anna’s scent from her…

I became jealous of her.

I couldn’t believe that this woman with no special abilities had monopolized Anna’s love.

So I only meant to torment her…

I didn’t know that I would also get intoxicated by my own pheromones.

Still… it definitely felt good.

The feeling of touching her skin was really nice.

Thanks to that, I was able to somewhat resolve my jealousy toward Anna.

I guess that’s why she left her scent on this woman too.

It would be really fun if the three of us could meet sometime.

“Hey.”

While I was thinking this, someone speaks to me in a cold voice.

It’s the red-eyed woman I first saw when I woke up.

She asks with a sharp gaze, as if interrogating me.

“Is it true that you pounced on Siho first?”

“…”

I couldn’t give any answer.

Because regardless of the reason, it was true.

Besides, this woman’s gaze had an intimidating pressure that could freeze anyone.

“Oh my, was it really true?”

The woman turns to look at Siho with an expression of disbelief.

Siho clutches her dishcloth tightly with an indignant face.

“I told you it was true!”

“Siho, you’re so lucky. An idol pouncing on you first. Is that why you allowed her to have her way with your body?”

Siho sighs deeply while washing a lime.

The woman turns her head back toward me with a smirk.

“Do you know who I am?”

“No…”

“Your former CEO probably knows well… I’m Jeoksah of Ilshim.”

My whole body went cold when I heard that name.

How could anyone not know Jeoksah?

Even our godlike CEO would tremble with anxiety whenever he heard that name.

Having debts to various guilds, he would have seizures at the mere mention of Counters and Ilshim.

“The… crazy killer who weaves corpses?”

“Calling me crazy right to my face.”

Jeoksah smirks at my boldness, seemingly dumbfounded.

Then, pressing down on my bangs, she said:

“Looking at you like this, you’re definitely one of today’s kids. Earlier on the counter floor, you were like…”

“Ah, stop talking about that already!”

Siho cuts off Jeoksah’s words sharply.

I never thought the woman I had touched so freely could be so assertive with a ranker.

“Are you going to kill me too? Like the CEO…”

I look up through the fingers pressing on my forehead.

Her red eyes flash.

“Well… judging by your looks, you’d make a pretty doll if I wove your flesh together.”

Jeoksah strokes my head with her palm, her eyes narrowed.

I pressed my thighs together upon hearing those words.

Having destroyed her territory and called the councilman, causing a big fight, I have no right to complain even if she kills me now.

“I’m joking. This shabby inn was just accumulating debt anyway. It wouldn’t have been surprising if it went bankrupt anytime.”

Contrary to my thoughts, very warm words came from her mouth.

The killer smiles gently in the fading moonlight.

I thought her smile was really beautiful.

Like an actress I’d occasionally encounter at the broadcasting station.

I wonder if most killers are this beautiful.

Anna was like that, and this woman too…

Perhaps those killed by them at least don’t die with contorted faces.

“I’ll just rebuild it. Make it more like a cocktail bar.”

“That’s actually a good idea?”

Siho approaches.

She wobbles over, carrying a table that’s at least somewhat intact.

The sight of her struggling with just one table is cute.

So cute that I want to touch her more.

“But why did you act like that when you first came to the store? I really thought you were crazy.”

That’s understandable.

Because I wasn’t in my right mind then, to the point where my memories are all blurry.

“Actually…”

I took a moment to organize my thoughts.

My head is dizzy from using pheromones all day.

The two women look at me with concerned expressions.

Thanks to that, I was finally able to muster up courage.

“I drank alcohol…”

“Really? You didn’t seem that drunk from the outside.”

Siho tilts her head thoughtfully.

“That’s right. It was just one glass of champagne.”

“That champagne was given to me by the councilman during dinner. After our former CEO died at Anna’s hands, the councilman took his place.”

“He acquired the company solely because of me. Because he liked to play with women under the influence of my scent.”

My hands on my knees tremble.

Siho warmly grasps them.

Thanks to her, I was able to recount my terrible past once more.

“He always dragged me to room salons and made me release pheromones from the next room. He even tried to violate me on the day I became an adult.”

I looked up at the night sky impassively.

The crescent moon tilts sadly.

“Today was probably that day. Because he put drugs in the champagne he gave me.”

Siho’s face contorts.

She now realizes that the girl who had assaulted her was under the influence of drugs.

“I drank about half of that drugged alcohol and felt something wrong with my body. Then I ran out of the place, using the bathroom as an excuse.”

Siho nods calmly.

“And that’s how you came here.”

“Yes. I followed the traces of Anna, who had saved me last time. And… I wanted to die while smelling her lingering scent.”

“And then you saw me, who happened to have her scent all over me?”

Siho asks with a frightened expression.

I nodded in response.

“I did think you seemed a bit off.”

She exhaled a long breath.

“But I was sincere earlier on the floor.”

I narrowed my eyes teasingly at her.

Siho backed her chair away like a cat encountering a predator.

Her reaction is so cute.

Almost unbelievable that she’s older than me.

But soon I had to acknowledge that she was a much more mature person than I am.

Even after my mischievous joke, she still looked at me with concern.

“It must have been hard for you.”

She covered my knees with my jacket that had slipped down.

“Do your parents know about this?”

The mention of my parents choked me up.

But since it was something I had to talk about eventually, I managed to open my mouth.

“My mother is in the hospital after being injured during the monster incident.”

“And she’s just waiting for the day I appear on TV. She says it’s her only joy.”

“I wonder what expression she’ll make when the breaking news shows that I’ve been expelled from Aimer.”

As I hung my head low, Siho says:

“Don’t try to bear everything alone.”

“But I’m almost an adult. And I’m an idol. If I can’t endure this kind of humiliation…”

I looked at her intently.

The mole under her eye wrinkles as if she’s angry.

“You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s also mature to boldly report injustice and receive help.”

Siho’s serious words left me speechless.

Is that so?

Is knowing how to receive help also part of being an adult?

When I was under the CEO, I was taught that to adapt in society, one must endure unfairness…

I’m confused.

While I was pondering, she asks Jeoksah.

If there’s any way to help me.

The killer crosses her arms and falls into thought for a moment.

“There is a way.”

She points at my face with her lighter.

“A councilman who demanded sexual favors, an idol who escaped from him, and a bartender who saved her, along with an executive of Ilshim.”

She speaks as if reciting a newspaper article.

“If this were to appear in the newspapers, wouldn’t it reverse the images of the Association and our organization?”

The lighter ignites.

A blue flame flickers.

“Then I could be compensated for messing with those Association guys and for the inn being destroyed. And this girl wouldn’t be unfairly expelled from her group.”

Jeoksah tucks the lighter into her inner pocket, as if she’s finished her calculations.

“But will the Association easily admit the truth…”

“Do you have any evidence?”

“I do… I actually paid a famous journalist to spread it.”

Jeoksah frowns at the mention of a famous journalist.

She must be well aware of journalists’ notorious reputation.

“Those vultures?”

“Yes…”

“They must have failed. How could such amateurs handle such a big case?”

I silently nodded.

Jeoksah chuckled and took out her phone.

“Contact this number later.”

She showed me a number on her phone.

“Who is this…?”

“A colleague of mine, a crazy guy who’s still into idols even though he’s over thirty.”

Jeoksah shook her head as if just imagining him irritated her.

I slowly copied the number into my phone.

“If you talk to him, he’ll probably arrange a press conference for you. He’s an executive of Ilshim after all.”

My chest tightens.

Have I ever received such kindness from anyone before?

My life has always been full of adults who pretended to be nice but demanded something else behind the scenes.

But to think I’d receive help from a killer who takes lives…

“Thank you…”

“But from the press conference onward, you’ll have to handle it yourself. The Association will try to bury you somehow.”

The killer’s red eyes glare at me.

But I was more afraid of the word “Association” that came from her mouth than her eyes.

Could I really escape from those who claim to be the current government?

And even if I did escape, could I still be an idol?

I’m scared.

Scared and so anxious.

Suddenly placed at a crossroads.

I contemplate before that path.

I’ve never imagined my life after being expelled from Aimer.

If I leave right now, how will I pay for my mother’s hospital bills?

I just signed the contract…

My lips tremble.

I slowly looked back and forth between Jeoksah and Siho.

I sighed deeply.

I still have to make a choice.

“I…”

I somehow swallowed the lump in my throat.

And opened my mouth.

“—.”

Just as I was about to make my choice.

Siho gently takes my hand.

Under that warm touch, she speaks to me softly:

“Take your time to think about it. Don’t rush to decide.”

She smiles brightly.

And after leaving warmth in my hand, she gracefully rises from her seat.

“I’ll make you a cocktail.”

She walks slowly to the counter.

Then she kneels down beneath the completely shattered display case.

She takes out Bacardi.

Could she be making me another Catharsis?

The thought of drinking that strong drink again makes me tense up.

“Sorry, the store is all burned up, so this is the only fruit left…”

Siho makes an apologetic face.

In her hand was a lime that had been rolling on the floor.

“It’s fine, it all tastes the same once it goes down your throat.”

Jeoksah cut in cynically.

Siho mutters worriedly, “I hope it’s okay…?” like a concerned animal.

She sits on the burned counter.

And crosses her thin, long legs.

The slacks she’s wearing stretch tightly.

I stare blankly at her skin.

Eventually, she elegantly grips the shaker while seated.

And begins shaking slowly under the moonlight.

As lively as if she’s playing a musical instrument.

Unlike when she was defenseless with me, she’s now powerful and rhythmic.

Into the cold shaker filled with ice.

1 ounce of milky white rum.

0.5 ounce of vermilion Disaronno.

0.5 ounce of lime juice.

Add them in order, then shake for 10 seconds.

Then gently pour into a martini glass.

Golden liquor falls into the glass, following the moonlight.

<Catharsis for Idol>

Grade: ★★★★ (Perfect)

Effect: Composure +10.

Information: A variation of Catharsis. Uses white rum instead of the strong Bacardi 151.

The strong alcohol rising through shaking has been neutralized.

Consideration and encouragement for a girl becoming an adult.

No decoration needed.

Because it’s perfect as it is.

“Catharsis for Idol, here you go.”

The golden glass is placed on the blackened table.

The golden color contrasts with the black, drawing attention.

I lower my head to stare at the cocktail.

In the golden liquid, I can see Siho’s reflection.

Like me, she was admiring the beautiful color of the cocktail.

Gone was the cool appearance of pouring alcohol earlier, replaced by a face as pure as a child’s.

Perhaps for the first time, I thought I could change the person I admired.

From Anna to someone else.

That thought made me chuckle involuntarily.

Unaware of my feelings, she just tilts her head curiously.

“I’ll enjoy it, unnie.”

I grasp the glass.

And slowly bring it to my lips.

Smooth and sweet rum moistens my tongue.

Soon, the aftertaste of almond fills my mouth.

Finishing with the tangy lime juice.

It’s delicious.

Different from the aggressive drink I had first.

Delicate and tender.

And I still love this taste more than strong alcohol.

When I realized that fact.

My eyes grow red.

I was bewildered by this emotion I hadn’t felt in so long.

Since becoming an idol trainee, I had hardly ever cried properly.

If you cry, your makeup smears.

If your makeup smears, people will notice and strange rumors will spread.

Other members will whisper, and the CEO will look at you with disapproval.

So I tried so hard not to cry…

But somehow, I couldn’t hold back now.