Ch.31Chapter 31 – Her Origin (2)

After that, I couldn’t remember much.

Flashing white light, a floating sensation as if my body was rising somewhere, and a vague feeling of déjà vu as if someone was calling my name—that was all I could recall.

“Seol-hwa, Seol-hwa… Open your eyes…!”

I could feel a slight trembling from the man looking down at me while crying, desperately holding onto my hand as if afraid to let go.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to pick you up because I was writing…”

Ah, it’s Do-hyeon.

But why is he crying?

He should be smiling since it’s his birthday today.

Ah, I see. It must be because I couldn’t make him rolled eggs.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

There’s no need to apologize. I’ll just go home soon and make you delicious, fluffy Seol-hwa-style rolled eggs.

Wait, why can’t I speak?

I wanted to tell him I was fine.

My lips wouldn’t move. I couldn’t even mimic the pronunciation, only managing to lift the corners of my mouth slightly.

“You still haven’t caught the culprit? Damn it, you bastards. You call yourselves police?!”

Yoo Seol-hwa frowned as she watched Han Do-hyeon grab someone by the collar in anger. He was someone who rarely expressed emotions like this.

Why was he pouring out his grief so sadly?

Seol-hwa tried to stop Do-hyeon, but her body wouldn’t move. It was as if everything below her waist had turned to stone.

It hurt. She felt a burning sensation like being stabbed with a red-hot iron rod.

Groaning sounds escaped her tightly closed lips as she tried to endure the pain, biting down so hard her teeth nearly cracked.

Unable to even ask what was happening to her body, she tasted the cold air of the operating room.

The crushing pressure on her lungs, the serious faces of numerous people who appeared to be doctors looking at her.

‘Ah, I was in a traffic accident.’

In that moment, Seol-hwa understood the situation she was in.

She realized just how serious it was.

She could see the name tags of not only surgical specialists but also internal medicine doctors and even emergency medicine specialists.

Doctors checking various X-rays, CT scans, and even MRI results.

They shook their heads with grim expressions before quietly taking Seol-hwa somewhere.

Then,

“Administering anesthesia now. Breathe. One, two…”

A bright light struck Seol-hwa’s vision, and an oxygen mask was placed over her mouth.

Before she could finish counting, her consciousness began to blur. The pain that had been coiling around her body like a snake subsided as something cold entered her veins.

‘I should have told Do-hyeon it wasn’t his fault…’

Such a trivial thought was all she had before her eyelids grew heavy and finally closed.

========================================

When Seol-hwa opened her eyes again, she woke up staring at a white ceiling, like the typical opening of a novel.

“Seol-hwa…! You’re awake…!”

“Do-hyeon…?”

Han Do-hyeon had been sleeping with his head down beside her.

He had dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept for days, and his eyes were bloodshot.

“You’ve been unconscious for two days. I… I really thought you were going to die…”

The face of this tough man, worn with fatigue, softened completely at the sight of his lover regaining consciousness.

What a naive and foolish person.

Despite his traumatic past and everything he had endured alone, he never lost his purity toward the world.

“…How could I die when you’re here? Silly.”

At this, Seol-hwa smiled faintly and tried to move her body to hug Han Do-hyeon. Since she didn’t feel any particular pain despite the traffic accident, she thought she must be fine.

She thought it would be that simple.

Life had always been positive for Seol-hwa. No matter what misfortune came her way, she had always been on the side of the “haves.”

A third-generation chaebol, genius, beautiful woman, perfect in both education and wealth—she had always been someone everyone admired.

She had let her guard down.

But,

“Huh? Why won’t my arm…”

With a snap, her right arm wouldn’t move, like a marionette with its strings cut. No matter how hard she tried to exert force, sensation wouldn’t return.

“…?”

Seol-hwa couldn’t accept this sudden change in her body.

The sight of her struggling to lift her limp right arm with her remaining arm looked almost pitiful.

Why did it have to be her right arm? If it had been her less-used left arm, she wouldn’t have thought it was such a problem.

Above all, for a novelist who made her living by writing, losing the use of one arm was devastating.

Even though technology had advanced to the point where some writers could write through voice recognition or type with their feet or remaining hand.

“D-doctor! Please come here quickly!!”

For the first time, Seol-hwa hated the fact that Do-hyeon was by her side. It was like watching an insect turning over on its back and flailing its legs in a desperate attempt to survive.

“Do-hyeon, no. It can’t be. I’m just tired… Yes, I definitely don’t have paralysis or anything like that.”

Even though she had noticed the truth about her body before anyone else, she kept making excuses to her boyfriend.

=========================================

Terminal illnesses always arrive suddenly.

Like an unfamiliar friend unexpectedly showing up at a birthday party.

In every sense, they are devastating, cold, and unpleasant.

I’ve heard countless times that trials only come in amounts that people can overcome.

“You may experience paralysis throughout your body in the future. Unfortunately, your cervical spine was severely impacted.”

Spinal infarction.

A condition where the arteries that deliver blood to the spinal cord are blocked due to accidents or injuries, preventing proper blood and oxygen supply to the spinal cord, causing it to necrose.

“What? Doctor, what are you saying…?”

“The prognosis is very poor. Despite our medical team doing everything possible, especially for the granddaughter of the chairman who has been a major donor to our hospital.”

The doctor spoke in a serious tone while adjusting his glasses. They say medical staff only tell you the worst outcomes, but,

“You have about a year left… I believe.”

The words that followed were painful enough to break even the most optimistic person’s spirit.

“Doctor, please… Please, our Seol-hwa is only 20 years old. Do you know how hard she worked to support poor me? We finally got accepted to the university she wanted to attend together…”

Yoo Seol-hwa wasn’t the only one devastated by the cold reality. Han Do-hyeon also began pleading with the doctor in a tear-filled voice.

“Guardian, I’m truly sorry, but the situation is not good. To be honest, it’s a miracle she’s even alive.”

But doctors aren’t gods. They too are fragile humans who cannot bring back lives that have already died.

“…”

“The hit-and-run suspect tried to make sure she died to avoid leaving evidence.”

There was another reason why Seol-hwa’s condition was so serious.

The perpetrator had tried to kill her to eliminate any witnesses after she jumped in to save a child.

That child was also hit by the car while trying to protect her, so the culprit was truly full of malice.

“That bastard still hasn’t been caught?”

Seol-hwa couldn’t help but question this fact.

How could someone who tried to kill the precious granddaughter of a chaebol group with a car escape without leaving any evidence?

“No, but I’ll definitely catch them. Don’t worry too much.”

As if God had decided to kill her, there were no traces or descriptions to identify the culprit.

The only witness, the child, was also fighting for his life after being hit by the hit-and-run vehicle, and the CCTV cameras had miraculously captured only blind spots.

When coincidences pile up, they become fate.

“No, even if you catch them… I can’t write anymore. What’s the point?”

And that fate was driving Yoo Seol-hwa to the brink of death.

========================================

At first, Yoo Seol-hwa had hope.

Because humans are naturally optimistic beings, they don’t give up when they see some progress.

“Great! You’re doing well! Just one more step forward!”

She had removed the casts that had encased her body after the traffic accident had shattered her bones, and now she was practicing walking while holding her boyfriend’s hand.

‘Whew, that’s right. The great Yoo Seol-hwa can’t give up.’

She confidently smiled, believing she could surpass the one-year timeline the doctor had mentioned.

It’s often shown on TV, isn’t it? Terminal patients who go to the mountains and live well beyond the life expectancy doctors predicted.

The hopeful image that Seol-hwa and Do-hyeon created became so famous among physical therapists,

“Now you’re starting to look like our Seol-hwa again. I was worried because you were depressed for so long.”

“You’ll see later.”

They didn’t mind such rumors. In the potentially gloomy space of a hospital, they could live like newlyweds.

Han Do-hyeon always took care of Seol-hwa with utmost devotion whenever his university classes ended early. He would wipe her sweat with a towel and lift her up to help her move when she had difficulty.

“Kyaah…! Lift me more gently!”

“How can I when our lady is as light as a feather?”

Despite their misfortune, Han Do-hyeon and Yoo Seol-hwa tried hard to find happiness and live earnestly, but.

“Huh? Do-hyeon, what’s this? A military enlistment notice…?”

The seed of misfortune that would take everything away began with a single letter.

“…”

As if some evil god despised their smiling faces and placed a curse on them.

========================================

After Han Do-hyeon left for the military, Yoo Seol-hwa faced yet another shocking event.

Paralysis began to spread to her legs, which had seemed to be recovering. The legs that Han Do-hyeon had lovingly massaged and always helped rehabilitate.

No matter how many rehabilitation therapists her family brought in to help, they couldn’t reconnect severed nerves.

This happened just one month after Han Do-hyeon left for the military.

[I miss Do-hyeon…]

Yoo Seol-hwa typed on her laptop keyboard with her unfamiliar left hand.

As time passed, the traffic accident Seol-hwa had suffered began to slowly destroy everything she had.

Not content with turning all her status, money, and reputation to scraps,

[You know what, Do-hyeon? I can’t have children. They say I’ve become completely infertile.]

It even took away Yoo Seol-hwa’s most cherished wish.

This happened two months after Han Do-hyeon left for the military.

Unable to tell him this fact, unable to overcome the devastating reality, her mental illness was growing deeper.

[Writing novels with one hand is killing me. When I try to write in a notebook, my handwriting is too terrible now.]

The paralysis that spread from her right arm felt like it was encasing Seol-hwa’s body in a hard cocoon.

Like a pupa preparing to transform, like a butterfly before emerging, her body grew heavier, but.

[I guess I can’t soar like a butterfly after all, Do-hyeon.]

Seol-hwa couldn’t soar like a butterfly!

She was gradually becoming unable to move.

No matter how much she frowned and exerted force, nothing moved. It felt similar to trying to move a non-existent sixth finger.

Like a soldier who had navigated a minefield on the battlefield, after losing sensation in her right hand and left foot, Yoo Seol-hwa made a decision.

With her increasingly paralyzed body, she couldn’t maintain her dream as a novelist or her position as Han Do-hyeon’s girlfriend.

She couldn’t even have children, which had been her lifelong dream.

So,

[I’ve decided to die today.]

Seol-hwa decided to commit suicide. She knew all too well that she would only be a burden to Han Do-hyeon if things continued this way.

[At least I want to die while my spirit as a writer is still alive, while I still feel human.]

That’s why she wrote lies in her suicide note.

She knew that Han Do-hyeon was such a loving man that if she left any lingering attachment, he would stay by her side until the end.

She knew that he would live lonely and alone, unable to forget a woman who couldn’t live with him for life or bear his children.

[It feels like being buried alive.]

[It feels like someone is shoveling damp, hard soil onto my head, one handful each day.]

[Even begging God to save me didn’t change anything.]

Typing on the laptop keyboard with her unfamiliar left hand.

[The weight of death is so light. That’s why I decided to die before I become even lighter…]

Seol-hwa was determined to act like a bad woman to make Han Do-hyeon forget her.

[December 24, 20XX, Snow Flower, Novelist Yoo Seol-hwa to Han Do-hyeon.]

[PS. Let’s break up. Honestly, you can find someone better than me.]

After completing her suicide note, she secretly left her hospital room, tucked a crutch under her left armpit, and trudged forward.

=========================================

Large hospitals have ramps called walkways.

These are places designed for wheelchair patients to climb floors, and until a few months ago, they were where Seol-hwa had fought against her illness without losing hope.

She had thought that spinal infarction was the only misfortune in her life.

‘To think that I’m infertile…’

When terrible things pile on top of terrible things, it seems people learn to give up.

I’m sorry for being a bad woman.

I’m sorry for being an inadequate girlfriend.

Even now, every moment without you is like hell, but I couldn’t face you loving me again after you’re discharged from the military.

“Whoa!”

She climbed the floors, pretending she was just going to the bathroom.

Passing through the dreary and gloomy smell of the adult ward,

She reached the floor of hope, which was lit up and decorated with all sorts of colorful ornaments even in the middle of the night.

Memories from the children’s ward still evoked deep nostalgia for Seol-hwa. After all, she had suffered from leukemia briefly as a child.

The innocence of wanting to eat hamburgers to her heart’s content when she could go outside.

The hope that someday she would be free from her shaved head and the wool hat her mother had knitted for her.

Thanks to the encouragement of the nurse sisters and physical therapist brothers who told her to work hard on rehabilitation, she was able to overcome leukemia quite quickly.

‘It’s the complete opposite now.’

She had simply thought it would be the same this time too.

She secretly called a driver to tour restaurants across the country, saying she needed to eat before her mouth became completely paralyzed.

As her body became paralyzed, she stopped writing in her diary where she had been listing things she wanted to do each day.

She cut ties with friends who gradually contacted her less.

She broke up with her lifelong promised lover through her suicide note.

Her father, who had donated bone marrow for her back then, had passed away from a chronic illness.

If she just disappeared with a “poof” from the middle of this world, no one would notice.

Click.

The iron door to the rooftop opened.

=========================================

“It’s cold, extremely cold.”

The December weather cut into Seol-hwa’s flesh like a blade.

The cold felt through her thin patient gown made her feel like a living person.

Alive.

I’m alive.

With chattering teeth and a trembling body, Seol-hwa was rejoicing in being alive.

Perhaps her mind had gone crazy from the long illness.

Or maybe she was happy to put an end to this miserable life.

Her eyes grew hot.

Her throat tightened, making her breathing irregular.

Her body tensed up and trembled.

“Hic… huff…”

Ah, I shouldn’t cry.

Was it because she was looking down at the cold concrete floor from ten stories up?

She suddenly started thinking about her unfulfilled dreams.

‘I wanted to write works that would remain in people’s memories.’

Seol-hwa wasn’t just a sick person attached to IVs and medications; she was still a writer with many dreams.

‘I wanted to create more memories and share more love with Do-hyeon.’

She wasn’t just an emaciated skeleton of a living corpse; she was still a woman who wanted to be loved by her partner.

“The writing I did with Do-hyeon… I wanted to see it published as a book someday… Ha, haha, hahaha…”

As proof, these were her words just before falling from the rooftop.

Just this.

It was a stupid statement that could be summarized in a single sentence.

But in truth, Yoo Seol-hwa might have been struggling, not wanting to die.

====================================

“Child. Poor daughter of humanity.”

And so, a visitor came to Seol-hwa, who had transformed into blood and flesh upon impact with the ground.

“I really enjoyed the novel your boyfriend was writing.”

The Mother of All Things and God of the Outer Universe, who had the bizarre appearance of several black goats mixed together—Shub-Niggurath.

“Because of this, I will give you a chance.”