Ch.312103. If That Is My Duty (2)

Resemblance.

Not to Nana or El Hermina.

…To father.

The snow-white hair.

Even the color of his pupils, like molten pure gold, is exactly the same.

Not the father in the painting, but I had always seen such a father’s appearance, his form, in the outside world.

In reality, mother said she was reminded of father the moment she saw that child.

Others were no exception.

“……”

Is this fate, or destiny?

…Are they the same thing?

I fulfilled my role as regent faithfully.

My greatest achievement would be, as expected, my diplomatic capabilities.

And how I oversaw state affairs and governed internal matters stably.

I balanced power so that too much wouldn’t concentrate among the nobles.

I channeled the empire’s overwhelming strength toward internal development and external support, where cooperation with the Irenis Order played a crucial role.

Years passed, and Elimion… gradually grew up.

I never intended to give him that name, but since it was bestowed by the former emperor himself, I dared not refuse.

…And.

As he grew, he became much more… ill-mannered than expected.

“Why did you hit that child?”

“……”

A nine-year-old brat showing defiance while deliberately avoiding my gaze, breathing heavily.

“Look me in the eye and answer.”

“……”

He continued to cause trouble, some of which were major breaches of etiquette.

I had a feeling that if this boy became emperor as he was, the country would be in shambles.

Moreover, since he only liked those who flattered him, increasingly unsavory characters began to gather around him.

“……”

What should I do?

After much deliberation, I revealed a certain resolution to the former emperor.

However.

“I cannot allow it.”

“……”

“Your attempt to awaken that child through cruelty will become a tragedy for you, that child, and everyone around you.”

“But without that, the child will never change. You know that, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t.”

The former emperor was resolute.

“…Would El want that? And is there any guarantee that such a drastic measure would set that child straight?”

“……”

He will stand upright.

Because, even if the current me doesn’t know it, the me in the outside world was… like firewood meant to ignite the spark that was Elimion.

It wouldn’t be strange at all if I performed that role here and now.

If by doing so, the boy could be corrected and become a wise ruler, a sage king.

…What greater reward could there be?

“You wish to die in a different way than your father, I see.”

“……”

“You were like that. You never cared much for fame or honor.”

Because you had your own pride and beliefs.

That’s why the gazes and opinions of others didn’t matter to you.

“But the heartache and pain it would cause to those around you would be indescribable. How would Elimion react when he learns the truth later?”

“……”

“That child is like that because he’s lonely and sad. So don’t treat him as sick or ill… start by approaching him and facing him directly.”

“……”

I don’t know about later, but for now, I decided to follow the former emperor’s command.

If the child still doesn’t change, then like in founding myths and legends… I’ll drop him to the bottom and test whether he has what it takes to be emperor.

With such a stern resolve, I met with the child.

To have an open and proper conversation.

“……”

The boy was, as the former emperor said, lost.

At such a young age, losing his birth mother and having to treat Seras as his adoptive mother was too difficult.

Moreover, I hadn’t spent much time with him, always using busy work as an excuse.

Suddenly, I realize.

…If I had made a mistake, I might have passed on the tragedy that the outside me experienced to this child, or tried to implement something even more terrible.

For a while, I couldn’t continue speaking, feeling devastated.

I sat down with that child many times, having long conversations.

Despite being at an age where he should be desperate to go out and play, he seemed to prefer these occasions, smiling brightly.

…What had I been misunderstanding?

……

Time passed.

On the day that young child came of age, the coronation ceremony was held simultaneously.

As I watched him don the crown from nearby, I once again steeled my heart.

‘Truly.’

How fortunate.

I felt I had done all I could.

He matured early, and at that young age, he quietly followed me around, dedicating himself to understanding state affairs.

He distanced himself from flatterers, kept close to ministers who spoke harsh truths, engaged in debates with young officials, and mastered scholarship and governance.

Befitting a country of knights, his swordsmanship was excellent, and although he skipped the small academy, when he entered the general academy, he consistently ranked first in both literary and martial aspects.

At this point, he truly seemed like a heaven-sent child.

No, that must be right.

As he grew, he increasingly resembled his father.

His mother would look at him with sorrowful eyes, embracing and caressing him.

I showed him the room with his father Lueld’s portrait, which I had seen since childhood, reminding him repeatedly of his resemblance to him.

“Hero…”

Elimion, it seems, wanted to become a hero himself.

After graduating from the academy, he traveled briefly for about a year and returned even more steadfast.

After the coronation ceremony, I was able to shed the burden of regency.

From then on, I spent years fishing in quiet places, playing and composing music, and writing.

I briefly served as the academy’s principal for about 5 years.

Establishing a new art college required me to spend years creating a planned city within the empire.

Then I took on the role of mayor for about 3 years to stabilize the city, created a deputy, and left.

Afterward, I spent about 4 years traveling abroad with Seras and her children, focusing on the upcoming barren land development project.

We entered desert regions, reached the red wasteland, interacted and negotiated with indigenous peoples and various races, involving them in cooperative city planning.

To form and stabilize that place, I had to pour in another 5 years.

The children grew well, and I seemed to be doing fine without any issues.

But upon receiving news of my mother’s death, I had to return to the empire with a startled heart.

…The death of the Holy Woman resembled a state funeral.

The Pope personally arrived, and even the emperor, her grandson, changed into pure white mourning clothes and personally presided over the mourning for over a week.

After I joined on the fourth day and took over, time flew by.

Three years later, Seras contracted a terrible disease and passed away at an early age.

At that time, Eras wept so bitterly that even the children beside him couldn’t hold back their tears and wailed loudly.

The head of House Esdina actually fainted.

Wrinkles and weariness began to appear on the seemingly perfect appearances of the former emperor and empress dowager.

I recommended a resort for them to rest quietly, and for three years, I stayed with them in that area, focusing solely on composing music and writing books.

There’s not much joy in life.

Perhaps it might be an option to foolishly live by seducing young women even now.

…But I couldn’t do that.

I never touched alcohol to begin with, and gambling was even less suited to me.

In the end, all I could do was play instruments and write.

Not for any particular purpose… but because it felt like the best thing to do.

I wrote novels.

…I also wrote guidelines on home education that fathers should provide for their children, and established theories on chivalry cross-referenced with theological theories.

This wasn’t exactly my knowledge, but rather the knowledge of my outside self who was calmly observing this situation.

But that shouldn’t matter.

After all, in this world, neither truth nor falsehood matters.

As time passed, the former emperor passed away first, and the empress dowager, left alone, wished to go to the elven territory to stay near her old hometown and mentor Geornia, so I accompanied her there.

“Strange. Why? Why is the World Tree reacting like that…?”

Lady Geornia wondered, but somehow I seemed to understand.

But that was neither my fate nor my destiny.

Time passed again.

I heard that Elimion had already had children, but being so far away, I was late to realize.

Seeing Elimion’s grandson, already walking, I was deeply moved.

Elimion’s partner was, as my outside self knew, a girl from a branch of the Enjul family.

……

Before I knew it, I was spending more time with my eyes closed than open each day.

Everything was becoming dim, and even the struggle was fading away.

Even catching my breath while sitting in a chair was difficult, but I couldn’t help but get up.

Living alone in a remote place, preparing meals, calming my mind, painfully playing instruments, writing…

After several years passed like that, I suddenly realized I was lying down.

“Father…”

“……”

With a full beard and now even wrinkles, he was surrounded by his five children, calling out to me pitifully.

“……”

I wanted to say something, but my mouth wouldn’t open.

Nevertheless, somehow…

…My heart felt at peace.

“……”

Take care.

With those final words, I looked up at the ceiling and quietly closed my eyes.

Then.

“You’ve finally come.”

“You’re late.”

El Hermina and Seras.

And also.

“I’ve been waiting.”

My mother, appearing as her younger self, welcomed me.

“Couldn’t you have stayed a bit longer?”

The former emperor sighed as if he couldn’t help it.

“……”

He smiled brightly, but seemed at a loss for words, just staring at me for a moment, unable to speak.

“What are you doing?”

Only after my mother nudged his side.

“…Welcome back.”

He, my father, finally spoke.

“……”

Yes, father.

I’m back.

……

……….

Yes.

Such an end might not have been so bad.

Calmly, in an instant, I realized all of this and accepted it.

However.

Even so.

…It was just a momentary dream.

“If you had truly desired that, you wouldn’t exist now. I had hoped you would be satisfied with that, but it seems it wasn’t enough.”

“……”

A crimson sky.

And a massive tree growing upside down, covering it.

In a precarious space where one had to look up at it from far below.

On a pale, dark, and dead land.

A man sat on the ground with one knee raised, continuing his laments and sighs.

Through black rags like tatters, he flashed golden eyes and asked again.

“Yes. So you’re ultimately the product of my restraining force. After destroying both the military god and the mad emperor, are you now going to harm me as well?”

“……”

As I gazed at his emaciated body buried in rags, trying to discern it.

I shook my head slightly.

“That’s…”