Ch.30Chapter 30. You Don’t Deserve It

# The Illusionist of the Dragon Knight Party, Adora, Has Left

As if she had never been there from the beginning, she crumbled away like smoke, but the scattered magical beasts and the corpses of guild members throughout the city showed just how deeply Valtercrois had been wounded by this incident.

“Our mercenary guild will serve Ravin the Thief as the ruler of Valtercrois.”

“Our merchant guild will take the lead in atoning for the mistakes of our two traitorous guild masters and restore the trust of Valtercrois citizens.”

After it was revealed that two of the three leaders had been in league with demons, and the culprits themselves had been unceremoniously killed by those same demons, the deputy guild masters of the mercenary and merchant guilds immediately bowed their heads to Ravin.

It was an essential choice if they wanted to avoid forced exile.

While Ravin was outwardly leading the recovery efforts with energy and encouraging people, inside he was rotting away no less than anyone else.

“What the hell did you hero party people do to Lee…?”

Before sending Lin and Lucy off, Ravin pulled the hero aside.

Lucy stood in a daze, staring into empty space with unfocused eyes.

“I’m asking you!”

He hated everything about the hero.

Ravin wanted to tear Lucy apart with his dagger right then and there—for acting like the only victim all this time, for claiming to care about Lin while obsessively clinging to him, yet abandoning him alone when it truly mattered, for her self-centered attitude.

“Lee… since we were young… from the sewage alley… he was always taking care of everyone… Me, Arsil, even that damned woman—we were all saved by Lee and could endure because of him.”

Even when Ravin was on a different path and hostile to Arsil, Lin occasionally helped Ravin’s group.

“Even in Arsil’s gang, he was always sacrificing and dedicating himself for his people.”

Even though his innate strength might have been insignificant compared to countless heroes.

“Lee would do whatever it took to feed us.”

The story of how the hero party ate everything and left only an empty pot for Lin was painful to even mention.

“If someone just tossed and turned in their sleep, he’d come over and check if they were uncomfortable.”

Whenever someone in the hero party coughed or showed signs of discomfort, Lin would anxiously worry if he had done something wrong.

“If someone was quiet because something was bothering them, he’d approach first and ask what was wrong.”

When Lin approached the hero party, they would bark at him to mind his own business and get lost.

“I wanted to run and bring him back right away, but I respected his choice and waited. I believed he would see the light someday.”

He already knew well that the hero party was mistreating him.

“But what?”

He couldn’t secretly follow them or assign someone to watch over them during the Demon Lord subjugation, so his surveillance had briefly lapsed.

“You made him grab the Demon Lord’s horn with his bare hands?”

“Ah…”

“You ordered him to do that, didn’t you?! It’s obvious! You were always at the forefront of bullying Lee! That much… shit! I could have expected that much! But Arsil! What about that woman?”

The holy maiden who had scolded the porter, saying the shield knight was more injured.

“Even if you didn’t know Lee’s name! Even if his build and voice had changed so you didn’t recognize him! Even if he wore a mask so you couldn’t identify him!”

The holy maiden who valued sacrifice and dedication above all else had neglected Lin who had always been right beside her.

“He was your comrade-!!!! No matter how much you disliked or distrusted him, he was your comrade who had been with you for a long time!”

Lucy found it hard to breathe.

Each of Ravin’s words painfully clawed at her heart.

“You people aren’t normal! Lee was a civilian and a non-combatant! Just standing his ground on the battlefield despite his fear was already remarkable! How could you turn your backs on him in an instant, calling him a coward and useless?”

Just when she thought she could forget, the past grabbed her by the hair.

“Lucy Estelle, Lee saved you with a body being corrupted by demonic energy when your limbs were cut off. And that demonic corruption was because of you.”

Her own past actions, committed with malice.

“He stayed with you until the end, even helping you recover physically… and you just abandoned your benefactor, too obsessed with combat to care?”

“No, I didn’t deliberately—”

“Too many magical beasts to find him? You make excuses like that when it comes to saving Lee?!”

“I…!”

“You have no right.”

When people become extremely angry, they paradoxically become calm.

Ravin grew increasingly cold toward the hero who could barely speak properly.

His head felt frighteningly clear.

“Overwhelming power, fame, a handsome fiancé.”

*Flinch*

“You’re just a selfish woman who’s used to receiving love and cheers for whatever you do. You’re only accustomed to receiving, not giving.”

That’s not true.

She too was born to a fallen noble family, abandoned by her parents, and lived her early years alone.

She had survived desperately, relying only on her sword.

Lucy, who would have confidently refuted this in the past, before the betrayal, now felt that even attempting to excuse herself would be hypocritical.

“Do you know how much the world loved you? The beautiful and strong hero. And the handsome fiancé who was dying of love for such a hero.”

“No-!”

But Rainford was an exception.

Though Lucy denied it with a scream, Ravin gradually lowered his voice and drove needle-sharp facts into her ears.

“What do you mean ‘no’? Do you know how fondly people watched you using all sorts of coquettish acts, aegyo, and jealousy tactics to please your kind and gentle fiancé?”

“That was before I knew what kind of person he was!”

“You just didn’t know! You fell for that parasite-looking face and held him dear in your heart! You tried everything to hold his hand, to be embraced by him, to get just one kiss from him!”

“That never happened! That bastard just treated me like a doll anyway. He never had any real interest in me!”

“Your words contradict each other, Lucy Estelle!”

Finally, Ravin grabbed Lucy’s cheek with his hand.

Facing her fish-like protruding mouth, Ravin spewed his venom to his heart’s content.

“You might be physically a virgin since the shield knight didn’t touch you. But your heart is the filthiest of all…!”

“No! That’s not true! I only have Lin now. I understand properly now. The stupid, ignorant me from back then was cut off along with my limbs and disappeared long ago!”

“Oh, really? Then why is Lee suffering so much by your side?”

The thief extracted everything Lucy wanted to hide and deny.

He thoroughly dissected every bit, leaving nothing behind, like stripping flesh from bone.

“You have no right. I’ll take care of Lee. I’ll heal his painful body and let him rest by my side for the rest of his life.”

“No!”

“You only bring pain to Lin!”

“No! No! Please, please! I was wrong. I was too immature. You’re right. I was selfish. I’m really sorry. I’ll do better from now on. Don’t take Lin away. Lin said he needs me. He said he needs me to save the world. I need Lin too. Without Lin, I don’t know how to go on living!”

When Ravin said he would take Lin away, Lucy knelt down and begged on the spot.

The once proud hero was crying and begging before a mere thief.

Ravin felt empty.

She knows too.

Lin needed Lucy.

At least for the time being.

“Listen well, you damned thing.”

Suppressing the urge to vomit, Ravin gave her strict instructions.

“I’m giving you one last chance because Lin must have had a reason to save you.”

“Thank you. Thank you…!”

“Remember what I’m saying.”

“Tell me anything, I’ll do it well.”

“Stop running your mouth and listen, damn it!”

Only then did the hero stop her frantic movements and listen attentively.

“Lee saved you, so you must protect him no matter what. Understand? From now on, the center of your entire life is Lee. Do as Lee says, and always prioritize him above all else.”

“……”

“Answer me!”

“I understand.”

“If I hear that Lee has been hurt again or has crossed a river of no return…”

Ravin pulled out his dagger and held it to her throat.

“I will make sure the hero party dies by my hand, by any means necessary.”

“…I will protect Lin no matter what happens.”

He had said all he needed to say.

His entire body felt as heavy as water-soaked cotton.

Stepping away from Lucy, Ravin looked up at the sky.

It was an unpleasantly clear blue sky.

—

When the holy maiden and the mage arrived at the Valtercrois checkpoint with their battered bodies, it was already dusk.

The two, who had been toyed with by Salamei, the spear wielder of the dragon knight party, were only released after tasting humiliation to the bitter end.

‘Huh? You think this is enough? Haah~ So self-centered.’

The spear wielder suddenly stopped her attack and waved her hand at them dismissively.

‘Now go. It’s all over, they say.’

Even the hot-tempered Arsil could only trudge away from that place.

With both their pride and self-esteem thoroughly shattered, the hero party stared at the ground until they heard a voice from atop the Valtercrois walls.

“Hey there.”

It was a somehow familiar voice.

Looking up, they saw Ravin with a pale complexion sitting on the city wall.

“Ravin…?”

“Well, well, if it isn’t the illustrious holy maiden and mage of the hero party?”

“Ravin! Is that you?”

What a bitch, still acting friendly.

“Stop right there. We’re not exactly on friendly speaking terms, are we?”

“Hey! Why are you here? Don’t tell me you left the alley and settled in Valtercrois!”

Unlike Arsil who seemed pleased to see him, Ravin felt nothing of the sort.

Rather, he wanted to crush that smiling face with his fist.

“Are you alone? What about Jack? Lapham? Did all your gang come together?”

“…They’re doing well.”

Up there in the sky, that is.

You really don’t know anything, do you?

Though it had been only half a day since he left, Ravin missed Lin desperately.

He briefly considered telling her the truth.

How would Arsil react after learning everything?

But Ravin decided against it.

This is a curse.

A curse upon you, Arsil, for not recognizing Lin and tormenting him, for driving him to the brink of death.

And the name of this curse is silence.

“Open the gate. I have business in Valtercrois anyway. You could say it concerns the entire city.”

“No, Valtercrois has no business with you people.”

“Hey! Are you doing this because I beat you up a few times back then? I’ll apologize for that… There’s something really big happening…!”

“I am Ravin the Thief, the rightfully elected ruler of Valtercrois, supported by the guild alliance.”

At his cold attitude, Arsil’s face hardened as well.

Not just Ravin, but everyone on the Valtercrois walls and at the checkpoint was looking at them expressionlessly.

“This afternoon, Valtercrois was invaded by demons.”

“Demons?!”

“A member of the dragon knight party, they said. The bastard ravaged this place as he pleased and left as if nothing had happened.”

“Ravin! Was it the spear wielder? Or the illusionist?”

Arsil impressively recalled the other job classes that Salamei had mentioned in passing.

But Ravin ignored her.

“Therefore, Valtercrois is currently undergoing recovery efforts, and all entry is prohibited.”

“Hey, Ravin! We’ll help you! Let us investigate. Then we can formally request support from the Empire and the Church…”

“Arsil.”

He tried to ignore it.

“Ha! The Empire and the Church?”

“Ravin?”

But it was hard to ignore such nonsense.

The thief raised his arm.

Flames shot up from the Valtercrois beacon tower.

“Holy maiden. We know what you did to the hero and to the porter.”

“What…?”

“Given your conduct, I don’t think the Empire and the Church would be so willing to help us, do you?”

“Who told you that?”

“I don’t know, maybe it was the demon who swept through here, or maybe it was a passing traveler. I can’t remember.”

The second beacon flared up, confirming that the first was not a mistake.

“Get lost. Valtercrois does not welcome traitors.”

Tigria grabbed Arsil’s shoulder and shook her head.

But the holy maiden couldn’t back down so easily.

“Fine, we won’t enter, but just tell me one thing.”

“…What is it?”

“What about Lee? I don’t know how long it’s been since you left, but is Lee doing well? Or was he doing well?”

“Haha…”

It was like a farce.

“Hahahahahahahahaha!”

His injured body shook as he laughed.

Despite the pain, Ravin couldn’t suppress his laughter. He finally managed to control himself and delivered the message Lin had asked him to.

“The hero has gone to the Zramun Archipelago.”

“Lucy? Hey, why are you suddenly bringing up the hero!”

“She says to come well-prepared. Whether to face the dragon knight party or to face her.”

The show was over.

Ravin turned and descended from the wall.

Arsil, after learning the truth about the hero party, I was so shocked I couldn’t move for a while.

I wonder, when you learn the whole truth, will you be able to withstand the cruelty of reality?

“Hey! Hey-!! Ravin!!!”

Arsil continued to call out, unable to accept the situation.

Her cries continued fruitlessly until the mage, unable to bear it any longer, forcibly teleported her back to the mainland.

—

Once again, walking through the forest.

Once again, only Lin and Lucy remained.

Lucy was silently holding Lin’s hand as they walked.

After hesitating for a long time at her seemingly depressed demeanor, Lin cleared his throat.

“Lucy, we left without resting. Should we set up camp around here?”

“……”

“I’m fine, you know. Though it’s embarrassing, I was knocked out by the illusionist on the battlefield. Ah, that’s not something to say proudly.”

“……”

“Are you angry about that?”

“……”

“I’m sorry, Lucy. I should have done better.”

*Stops abruptly*

Words she heard every day during the Demon Lord subjugation days.

Lucy swallowed hard.

“Lin…”

“Yes?”

“Why is your arm like this…?”

This time it was Lin who fell silent.

“Why… do I feel… demonic energy… from your arm?”

“……”

“That’s strange? I definitely… saved Lin with the power of the holy sword, so why…?”

“What did you say?”

“In the goddess’s sanctuary, I revived Lin with the holy sword, so why do I feel demonic energy…?”

“Lucy.”

“Even though I used the holy sword, why…”

“Lucy!”

When he grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, her face was already covered in tears.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Lin. I’m sorry for making you hurt…!”

Lucy collapsed to her knees and pressed her forehead against his hand, sobbing.

“I didn’t know you were in pain. I didn’t know it was this bad. If it’s this severe even after using the holy sword, how bad must it have been before?”

How much pain must he have endured while caring for her and accompanying her?

Suddenly Lucy remembered how Lin would feed her but barely eat anything himself back then.

It wasn’t that he was saving food—he probably had no appetite due to the severe pain.

Now she could see it.

His pain.

Her own stupidity.

“I’m sorry for being useless. I’m sorry for being a hero without a holy sword. I’m sorry for still being trash even though Lin saved me…”

“Lucy.”

Lin also knelt down.

He reached out his arms, embraced her, and patted her back.

To Lucy, who still couldn’t raise her head, Lin gathered his courage and whispered:

“So you saved me with the holy sword. That’s why it was gone.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

“To exchange the hero’s qualification for a life like mine.”

“That’s not true…! The most important thing to me is…”

“Thank you for saving me, Lucy.”

Finally, Lin met the hero’s blank eyes.

“Lucy, my greatest comrade.”

“Hic… sob…!”

Lucy wept uncontrollably.

“Thanks to you, it doesn’t hurt much despite being corrupted by demonic energy. I see, there’s no pain because you used the holy sword.”

“Lin…!”

“There, there, it’s alright.”

Lucy hated herself.

She hated her selfish self that never improved.

She hated herself for wanting to stay by Lin’s side.

She hated herself for being as good as dead without Lin.

And yet, Lucy held Lin’s hand, burrowed into his arms and chest, and craved the sound of his heartbeat.

‘You might be physically a virgin since the shield knight didn’t touch you. But your heart is the filthiest of all…!’

She’s not filthy.

It might have been a mistake in the past, but she’s not filthy.

She denied it again and again, but this guilty feeling.

That feeling further fueled Lucy’s obsession with Lin and her psychological fastidiousness to the extreme.