Ch.309IF Side Story: Seems I’ve Arrived a Bit Early (6)

Harumi’s father… hmm, should I call him Mr. Fukuda for convenience?

It’s not good to judge people solely by their atmosphere or first impression, but this person seems like he might be an acquaintance of Mr. Yamashita. If I had to compare, Mr. Yamashita’s attire was much more subdued than this man’s, but honestly, a “white suit” isn’t exactly what you’d call “subdued” clothing in the first place.

If I were to extend this speculation a bit further, I wonder if he dressed so flashily to try to offset Kagami’s atmosphere.

“Ko-chan!”

Mr. Fukuda grabbed Harumi by the waist with both hands and lowered her to the ground. Harumi landed in perfect form with both hands raised high above her head, as if she had descended from the sky herself.

“Ta-da!”

I was momentarily distracted by Mr. Fukuda and almost failed to react, but I quickly clapped my hands in response. Harumi loved this kind of reaction the most.

“Daddy, this is Ko-chan!”

Introducing someone by their nickname seems like it would be confusing for the person being introduced.

Well, Mr. Fukuda had properly called me “Kotone” when greeting me earlier, so he must have heard my actual name at some point.

I could clearly picture Harumi saying something like, “Oh my! Ko-chan, I mean Ko-chan! Daddy, don’t you know Kotone?”

I bowed politely to Mr. Fukuda.

“I’m Kotone Kagawa. Pleased to meet you.”

That was my name now.

I couldn’t keep using the Kurosawa surname. What Kagami had asked Mr. Yamashita for was specifically to change this “surname,” and so we’ve been using the surname “Kagawa” since then.

Incidentally, in Kagami’s case, she changed not just her surname but her first name completely, and now goes by “Kyoka Kagawa.”

Well, I don’t think I need to go into detail about this. After all, I call Kagami “mom,” and there’s no reason for me to use her alias when I think about her name.

When Kagami talks with other people, she’ll probably be called “Ms. Kagawa” most of the time.

“Hmm.”

After seeing me greet him politely, Mr. Fukuda stroked his chin with a slight look of admiration, then shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

“Yes, I think we’ll be seeing each other often from now on, so I look forward to it.”

Then Mr. Fukuda turned his gaze and met Kagami’s eyes.

I’m not sure if he recognized Kagami, or if it was just because Kagami was carefully observing the interaction between me and Mr. Fukuda, but anyway, Mr. Fukuda smiled lightly and gave a slight nod toward Kagami.

Just for a moment, he looked not like a yakuza but like a kind-hearted man with unusual fashion sense.

Kagami also just slightly bowed without going through formal introductions with Mr. Fukuda.

Adult conversations don’t quite reach my ears yet. Especially since Kagami doesn’t like me worrying about things, she doesn’t tell me about money matters, whether we have little or much.

I haven’t met Mr. Yamashita even once since that time.

“Ko-chan, Ko-chan.”

As I was looking up at Mr. Fukuda and Kagami, Harumi tugged at my sleeve and called me.

“Let’s do our best today!”

Can children this young even say things like that?

…In my previous life, I was at an age where I might have had children if I’d gotten married, but unfortunately, I died before getting married, so I didn’t have any children.

Sometimes there are children who say surprisingly mature things, making you wonder how they came up with such thoughts, but I wasn’t a kindergarten teacher so I never saw it myself.

“…Okay.”

In the end, I just nodded and answered like that.

Well, she might have learned it from her father. Children grow up imitating their parents, after all.

*

There are children from other classes at the kindergarten too, not just us.

Unlike elementary school, there wasn’t a concept of “grades,” but children were classified by age, so while it wasn’t as big as a school, the total number of students was quite large. I hadn’t counted them one by one, so I wasn’t exactly sure.

Because of this, it’s rare for just one child to perform alone; instead, they gather in groups of at least a few to sing songs and dance.

There are plays too, but it seemed a bit too much to expect children to memorize lines, so except for those entering elementary school next year, they don’t do “plays.” Well, forcing them to do so would be a bit much anyway.

We three-year-olds were scheduled early in the overall program.

First came group presentations rather than whole-class performances.

Though called presentations, they were simply singing children’s songs with simple movements.

Harumi seemed to instinctively sense it was her turn and pulled me by the arm as she went up on stage.

“Hello everyone!”

When Harumi greeted everyone energetically, laughter came from the adults watching us. I had seen Mr. Fukuda earlier, but there was no reason to discriminate against children in a place like this.

Besides, there were two other young children standing with Harumi and me.

While Harumi was capturing the adults’ attention with various introductions, I quickly turned my head to look for Kagami.

Kagami wasn’t among the adults but was sitting in a chair in a somewhat secluded corner. She seemed a bit intimidated being among adults much older than herself. Well, Kagami is still just a child in terms of age.

Being there was probably less about work and more about naturally being pushed out from among the adults.

But Kagami’s face didn’t show any shadow of such reasons.

She was just staring at me with a dazed expression, as if she was moved by seeing me standing here.

“…”

I don’t remember much about my kindergarten days in my previous life. But in my faint memories, I remember waving to my parents sitting far away.

Both of them smiled brightly and waved back at me.

I stared at Kagami for a while, then slightly raised my hand toward her. Just like all the other children on stage were doing.

Kagami blinked then and smiled brightly toward me.

Then she raised one hand and waved it enthusiastically.

When I saw her rummaging through her bag and pulling out a large camera, I couldn’t help but smile a little.

It didn’t seem new, probably bought as cheaply as possible from some secondhand store. Strictly speaking, it might be an unnecessary luxury for us.

But Kagami couldn’t back down on this.

Because to Kagami, I am her entire reason for living.

The photos captured by that camera will become evidence of our life. Even though we can’t clearly see what’s ahead, and don’t know how it will end—even if that time isn’t long, it will remain as beautiful memories until the very end.

Toward Kagami, who was holding up that large old-fashioned film camera with a huge old-fashioned flash attached to it, I made a V-sign with my hand.

Hoping that the smile I was making was the brightest one I’d ever made while looking at Kagami.

*

At first—I thought it was a curse.

No, in some sense, it might actually have been a “curse.”

Considering the beings Kagami had given birth to before Kotone, it was.

Even when she gave birth to Kotone, Kagami thought so.

Carrying something in her womb for ten months with such a small body was excruciating pain.

Pushing a newborn out of her body was also a terrible memory.

Kagami couldn’t even hold the child she had given birth to right away.

Kosuzu held Kotone in her arms as if she were her own child, gazed at her for a while, and then with a bright smile, belatedly handed the child to Kagami.

Along with the words, “The vessel you gave birth to.”

Could she be free now?

Would she no longer need to fulfill such obligations?

When Kagami first held Kotone, those were the only thoughts she had.

Though it was very brief.

She even imagined what expression Kosuzu would make if she threw the child to the floor right now. Of course, if she did that, Kagami would end up in a fate worse than death—

And then, she felt it.

The child’s body temperature.

The unique warmth of a newborn that slowly seeped through, despite being wrapped tightly in blankets.

The wrinkled child, soaked as if drenched in water, couldn’t even open her eyes properly and remained quiet without crying.

But she was breathing. The child’s chest was rising and falling slightly.

The tips of her tiny clenched fingers wiggled. Red hands so small it was amazing they were human hands, yet all ten fingers were properly attached.

“…”

Completely different from the beings she had given birth to until now.

But before Kagami could feel anything while looking at the child, she lost the child to Kosuzu again.

“Give—”

The word “back” was interrupted by Kosuzu’s gaze, which stared at her.

“I hope you don’t think of this being as your ‘child’.”

Kosuzu said.

“This being will become the one we serve in the future.”

At those words, Kagami had no choice but to withdraw her outstretched hand.

*

After that, Kagami received lavish treatment.

Was it because she was the mother who had given birth to a being that would become a vessel for a god?

While Kosuzu treated the child as if it were her own, she always kept the child near Kagami.

Whether that meant she wouldn’t take responsibility as the child’s parent, or she wanted to use Kagami in a symbolic way as well.

Maybe both.

Next to Kagami, who sat formally in a black kimono, Kotone was always lying in a basket wrapped in a golden cloth.

One day.

By chance, Kagami was left alone in the room with the child.

Perhaps it was because of preparations for a ritual. In fact, Kagami had never been directly involved in such things, so she didn’t know exactly how they worked.

“Puu.”

Such a sound came from beside Kagami, who was sitting absentmindedly passing time.

When she turned her head, Kotone was making such sounds with both hands raised.

“Utteh.”

As if trying to speak. But, being still a young child, she couldn’t do that yet.

Kagami felt curious.

She had briefly felt the child was hers at the moment of birth, but Kagami had never raised the child with her own hands. So, in the end, she didn’t feel much of a maternal bond.

“Well, I should at least thank you.”

Kagami, feeling somewhat awkward about the being, muttered that as she leaned slightly toward it.

“Ttuu?”

“Thanks to you, I was able to escape from that position—”

Kagami raised her finger close as if to tease the young child.

Even now, she couldn’t understand why she had done such a thing, but.

The young child grabbed Kagami’s finger.

A hand so small and warm it was amazing.

“Mya— Mya—”

A child still too young to speak.

So those words surely had no meaning.

But, Kagami’s face reflected in those round black eyes was wide-eyed with surprise.

Ironically, despite being just a newborn—that appearance seemed strangely familiar, Kagami thought.

A gentle force was applied to her finger again.

As if pulling toward itself, the child was pulling Kagami’s hand.

“Mya— Mya—”

Perhaps it was at that moment that Kagami felt the urge to run away.

*

It was still a small hand. One that still had a long way to grow.

That small hand was making a V-sign with two fingers raised.

The face that rarely smiled was showing a bright smile toward Kagami.

With trembling hands, Kagami thought that probably a few photos would be blurry.

“…”

Until now, she had been wondering.

If she hadn’t run away, could she have raised the child better? The Kurosawa family wasn’t short on money, after all.

Rather than coming out alone and struggling to raise her like this, wouldn’t it have been better to leave her with Kosuzu—

That might have been the case.

Perhaps Kagami had really made the wrong choice. Maybe she had made too selfish a choice.

…They called her a vessel, and said she would become a god someday. Though she knew it wouldn’t be a god in the normal sense.

Still, until then, they might have lived much better than they do now—

But—

…

But, even so.

Just by seeing and remembering this moment, Kagami thought that she would probably never regret that choice for the rest of her life.