Ch.308IF Side Story: Seems I’ve Arrived a Bit Early (5)

People say humans are creatures of adaptation, but unfortunately, adapting to my life wasn’t easy for me.

Thankfully, no one looked at me strangely for it. In the teachers’ eyes, I was just “an exceptionally shy child,” and in the other kids’ eyes… well, I doubt these children even understand what “peculiar” means. At least they don’t exclude me just because I don’t talk much.

Perhaps the delicate face I inherited from Kagami helped with that.

And among those children, there was one who particularly liked me—Harumi.

Harumi would go everywhere in kindergarten pulling me by one hand. Actually, I never really refused, so maybe it’s natural that she never got tired of it.

Playing with young children was headache-inducing in many ways, but I still tried to maintain at least minimal friendships with the children to prevent Kagami from worrying about me. Continuing conversations with Harumi when she spoke to me was part of that effort.

Usually, Harumi would initiate the conversation, and I would carefully analyze her story before offering my response, taking turns in this manner.

In that process, after filtering out stories I couldn’t possibly interpret—dreams from the previous night, stories from her imagination, stories about dolls she played with at home—and stories I had no idea how to respond to—mostly about her father—there wasn’t much left in my head.

But among that limited information, there were tiny bits that weren’t bad for me to know.

I don’t remember how the conversation started, but somehow the topic of “why does Harumi play with me?” came up once.

“Pretty. Like a doll.”

“Um… thank you?”

That seemed to be her first reason. Well, even young children do care about appearances. Since there were kids who learned from somewhere about “dating” or “liking” someone even in kindergarten, I could understand Harumi choosing me based on looks.

Considering her “like a doll” comment, she might be projecting her dolls onto me.

“Daddy said to be friends with you.”

That second reason gave me something to think about.

It could simply be the common parental advice to “get along with other children.” Maybe seeing me always sitting quietly in a corner created a sense of obligation to “play with me.”

Or perhaps her father specifically told her, “You need to be friends with that one.”

In that case, there’s a possibility that Harumi’s father knows about me.

Kagami is somehow involved with the yakuza and is under the protection of someone named Mr. Yamashita. Though I’ve never met him since then, and no yakuza-like people have been lurking around us, I thought there was a good chance that person was still watching from somewhere nearby.

I couldn’t be certain whether Harumi’s father had any connection to that man.

“What does your dad do for work?”

“I don’t know!”

Harumi answered my question with such a bright expression that I couldn’t bring myself to ask anything more.

However, it didn’t take long for me to lean decidedly toward one of those two theories.

*

Even kindergartens have talent shows.

Since kindergarteners often haven’t fully developed control over their bodies, these shows are usually more like cute performances than actual talent showcases… but well, isn’t that how all parents feel?

When they see their child dancing, singing, or acting on stage, how awkward or unskilled they are becomes irrelevant. They only see their beloved child.

Practice for the talent show began quite early. Since young children aren’t easy to control, it’s better to take time and practice repeatedly.

Above all, it was probably also time to change the roles of children who decided midway that they didn’t want to participate.

“Singing?”

When I told Kagami what I did at kindergarten after coming home, it was only natural that she jumped up and asked me that.

“You practiced singing?”

Her eyes sparkled intensely.

Kagami never pressured me to do anything. Her promise to “let me do what I want” has been firmly kept until now.

Even while working hard to contribute to our household finances at just her mid-teens.

Though she never told me directly, when I peeked over her shoulder at the household ledger she kept, I saw a separate savings labeled “Kotone’s education.” I suspect all the money Mr. Yamashita gave her that wasn’t used for kindergarten expenses went there.

How miserable would it be to not be able to provide money when your child wants to study? Kagami was preparing for that at her young age.

During meals, she would give me almost all the delicious food and reduce her own portions. There were several times I nearly got indigestion because her determination to feed me well even if she had to go hungry was too obvious.

No matter how you looked at it, she was just a child, but Kagami’s dedication was real. Even at this age, she truly considered me her daughter.

But I…

Kagami looked at me with sparkling eyes, but soon a bitter smile spread across her lips.

—An expression that seemed to say, “She’s not the type to do that.”

Right. I had never sung in front of Kagami. This too… was because of my personal embarrassment. Singing children’s songs while doing hand motions was a bit difficult for me as I was now.

…

But before Kagami could be completely disappointed, I stood up abruptly.

“Kotone?”

Kagami called me, a bit surprised.

“Song. I’ll do it.”

Did I make up my mind too firmly?

I thought my tone might have been too resolute for a child, but Kagami’s face showed no such concern.

Rather, her eyes sparkled even more than before.

…If she wanted it that badly, she could have just asked.

To be honest, I think she might be overprotective and too partial to her daughter. Maybe because she’s so young.

They say very young parents are often less dedicated like this.

Various thoughts crossed my mind, but I had already stood up saying I would do it.

So I had to follow through.

I opened my mouth.

The embarrassment of singing gradually faded as I watched Kagami’s face while she listened to my song.

As if she had received a birthday present, no, as if she had received a once-in-a-lifetime gift, Kagami’s eyes welled up with tears.

…Realistically, no matter how well a kindergartener sings, they wouldn’t sing well enough to make listeners cry.

“Woof, woof, woof woof.”

After I finished singing, my vision was suddenly blocked.

I could smell Kagami’s scent.

I felt Kagami’s warmth as she hugged me tightly.

“Amazing. You’re amazing, Kotone.”

Kagami said that while holding me close. I could feel her stroking my hair.

As if she was looking at the most lovable being in the world, as if she would never let it go, Kagami held me tightly like that for a long time.

“…”

What am I?

Just a small, powerless being who can’t do anything in the room, who can’t even properly do household chores.

A being who demands protection just by breathing, who only makes Kagami struggle.

Perhaps Kagami could have just gone to school normally, but how can she cherish someone like me who makes her suffer so much?

If I were Kagami, could I be this dedicated?

…

I should just think of it as her nature.

Looking at how I was born as the daughter of someone like Kagami, I can only say I’m definitely a lucky person.

*

Time passes slowly for kindergarteners.

They say time seems to pass faster as you get older, and thinking about it, that’s certainly not wrong.

Elementary school classes felt so slow, but time at work after growing up seemed to pass much faster.

Though that might just be because my job was like walking through fire.

Time crawled very slowly until the talent show. During that time, I played with my “friends,” practiced, and worked hard making things. The results of what I made were generally unrecognizable even to me.

I can’t count how many times Kagami cried over my self-portraits that objectively couldn’t be called well-drawn.

Lately, I seem to be learning bit by bit “how to act like a child.”

And the more I acted like a child, the more Kagami’s worries seemed to ease.

Time passed slowly, but by the time I started thinking that it wasn’t bad for time to pass slowly while being held in Kagami’s arms, the day of the talent show arrived.

Kagami was determined to “definitely attend,” and she actually came.

She wore heavier makeup than usual and dressed somewhat inappropriately mature. Enough that people around were giving sidelong glances.

But I knew this wasn’t Kagami “trying too hard.”

Kagami wanted to hide her age. I saw her studying in front of the mirror late last night, trying to figure out how to make herself look older with makeup.

…Not because she was embarrassed for herself, but because she didn’t want me to be embarrassed.

That’s why I felt sorry for Kagami.

But that feeling didn’t last long.

“Ko-chan—!”

A voice that had become completely familiar to my ears came from somewhere higher up.

Looking up, I saw Harumi enthusiastically waving her hands at me from quite a height.

I wasn’t the only one whose attention was drawn there.

That intense purple.

A man wearing a purple suit top and bottom, with a leopard print shirt underneath, and dyed blonde hair was holding Harumi.

“Oh, so you’re Kotone. I heard Harumi has been in your debt.”

I wasn’t the only one staring open-mouthed at this man who spoke while raising his hand that wasn’t holding Harumi.

…With his overwhelming presence that instantly buried Kagami’s slightly out-of-place existence.

Seeing him, I was certain.

I see. This person must definitely be an acquaintance of Mr. Yamashita.