Ch.304Chapter 304: Exchange of True Hearts (2)

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It was worth it to forcibly pull her into my arms.

Shizu’s body, which had been trembling precariously and showing anxiety, was visibly regaining stability.

“Hng…”

Even though an indescribable, choked sob traveled through my chest to my ears.

It was still far better than her trying to distance herself from me while expressing inexplicable remorse.

I carefully extended my right hand and placed it on her head.

The black iron helmet she wore felt somewhat hard and cold against my fingertips.

But what mattered wasn’t the sensation I felt.

“…”

All that mattered was your immediate reaction to my touch, how you instantly stifled your sobbing.

“…Are you calmer now?”

I called out to you with even more caution than when I first addressed her after recognizing her as Shizu.

“…”

Though there was no answer to my call, it was clear that her breathing, which had grown rough from sobbing, was noticeably stabilizing.

Just as my eyes were about to soften—an expression ill-suited to this tense situation—

I saw Shizu gently push away my hand and raise her head to look at me.

With her helmet’s visor down, I couldn’t even see her eyes or what expression she was making as she looked at me.

I tried to stop her when I sensed that whatever she was struggling to say wouldn’t be what I wanted to hear, but—

“The stain on my ring… That’s… that’s ash from when you died—no, more precisely, when another possible version of you that I remember died.”

A cold, rigid voice flowed from Shizu’s now-stabilized lips.

“Why did you die? Because of me. I stabbed another timeline’s you in the stomach with the holy sword, and that’s how you died.”

I could hear her confessing that she had killed me with her own hands, in a cold voice laden with indescribable guilt and remorse.

If I hadn’t felt her body trembling ever so slightly against mine as she spoke those words.

I might have shrunk back from that hard, cold voice—

The emotional residue in her voice right now was deep and dark.

Perhaps she thought that revealing such an unexpected truth would loosen my hold on her.

But as I silently listened to her words, what I felt was more puzzlement than surprise.

Even if she had done her best for me in a situation where she had no other choice.

As an agent of the Demon God who set the world ablaze, I was a villain who shouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone who stood in opposition.

I wondered why killing such a villain would cause her to feel such guilt.

Of course, separate from my puzzlement, her words did have some effect on me.

The old me would have certainly gotten angry, saying something like “First you’re sobbing, and now you’re suddenly acting cold and confusing me.”

Even if we shift the perspective to when I was the Demon God’s agent, I wouldn’t have wanted you to suffer any harm because of me.

Back then, I would have surely driven a nail into your heart with words colder and more calculated than the immature things I used to say.

Fortunately, I’m past that shameful phase now.

I only wanted to keep you close for as long as possible, using any excuse.

Contrary to what you might think, Shizu’s cold voice trying to break away from me—

Actually gave me more reason to tighten my arms around you, keeping you in my embrace.

“…Ah!”

Despite her deliberately cold words, a startled gasp tinged with the same bewilderment as before escaped from Shizu as she failed to break free from my arms.

She probably thought that if she delivered the shocking news in a cold voice, I would be surprised enough to loosen my grip.

Sorry, but if I were the type to shrink back after hearing a few cold words from you, I wouldn’t have taken you into my arms in the first place.

*Squeeze*

I tightened my arms around Shizu as she tried to break free from me.

This was to prevent her from trying to escape with more nonsense, and at the same time—

*Thump-thump*

It was also to physically show her that my heart wouldn’t freeze in shock from hearing a few cold words.

This too had its effect.

Though not violent, Shizu’s struggling, which had been full of determination to escape my embrace, noticeably relaxed as soon as she heard my heartbeat.

“Wh-what…?”

Her confusion at my sudden display of my beating heart was an added bonus.

Feeling that she was finally ready to hear what I had to say—

“Haaah…”

I took a deep breath to prepare myself for words that had endlessly circled in my mind but I had never managed to speak aloud, in case something like this happened.

Shizu, still wearing her helmet, slowly raised her head again.

Though I couldn’t see her expression, it was clear she was concerned about mine after hearing my sigh.

“Listen.”

I began in a small voice.

“If I truly hated you, I wouldn’t have kept the ring you threw at me close to my heart.”

As I conveyed the truth about the ring I had kept close but couldn’t put back on your finger before my regression—

“…!!”

Shizu’s body jerked strongly in my arms.

Then I felt her arms reaching out, her hands touching my face.

Though I only felt the coldness of metal as her black iron gauntlets touched my skin.

Despite what my face felt, what I sensed from your reaching hands was just one thing:

Yes, a warmth that strangely heated a corner of my heart.

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Imperfectio.

…No, the alternate Lillian Shizu Proxian who had crossed over from a timeline split by different choices was anxious.

Even though she didn’t share the same memories with the precious person she knew.

The Demon God had tempted her to this timeline with the sweet promise of meeting a man identical to the one she remembered.

But then the Demon God revealed her identity without her consent, making her extremely anxious.

After the series of events ended, Shizu—Lillian Shizu—in Kal’s arms was truly afraid.

The moment she learned through Desire that she had killed the Kal who was now holding her in a different possibility.

She couldn’t predict how he would react.

Even though he had saved her from losing her divinity and taken her into his arms.

She knew that was simply what he had to do for the sake of this world.

She couldn’t even begin to imagine how complicated his inner thoughts might be, separate from his duty to save her.

All sorts of imaginings bloomed and withered in Lillian Shizu’s mind.

She pictured him looking at her with incomparable contempt or other negative emotions after learning she had killed him.

She couldn’t help but imagine him mentally comparing her to the precious person who looked exactly like her but had only happy memories with him.

No matter how identical they looked and how similar they were in every aspect she could remember.

In the end, they had only met days ago, crossing swords for the first time.

It seemed natural that he would react this way.

“…”

As her imagination ended, Lillian Shizu’s head tilted downward in dejection.

She simply didn’t have the courage to meet the gaze she expected from him.

But despite lacking the courage to face it, a part of her didn’t think his anticipated treatment was wrong.

Though she didn’t know why this timeline differed so much from the one she had lived in.

At least it seemed natural for him to treat her that way.

After all, in this timeline, he was a hero genuinely committed to saving the world, just like she used to be.

So Lillian Shizu prepared herself mentally to receive his coldness and icy gaze.

“…”

She waited silently with her head bowed for Kal’s reaction.

But instead of the cold words that should have already poured out during the slowly passing time.

“Are you okay?”

She heard a remarkably warm voice asking if she was alright.

“…!!”

Hearing this, Lillian Shizu couldn’t help but feel her body tremble.

It was strange. No matter how she thought about it, it was strange.

She had expected cold words or at the very least an incomparably cold gaze.

But when she raised her eyes upon hearing his voice, Kal’s expression held a warmth that matched his tone.

It was enough to make Lillian Shizu feel that something was off.

Moreover, beyond that gaze.

The distance between her and Kal, which she had thought would quickly grow even in his embrace, was actually shrinking as time passed.

Lillian Shizu’s confusion only deepened with time as she faced this unexpected situation.

But while feeling confused, she also couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief from being in his arms after so long, finding it comfortably reassuring.

“…Hic.”

A sob born from overwhelming emotion escaped her lips before she could stop it.

She quickly closed her mouth and bowed her head again, but there was no particular reaction from him.

The silence made Lillian Shizu feel uneasy.

But that uneasiness quickly turned to bewilderment when Kal pulled her even closer after hearing her sob.

It was truly strange. Even though Desire hadn’t revealed everything, he had clearly indicated that something unpleasant had happened.

Yet Kal pulled her closer, seemingly unconcerned with that fact, and Imperfectio felt anxious.

Yes, it was anxiety. She felt anxious that even though he was showing her this expression now, he would surely distance himself once he heard more details about what happened then.

Nothing could be more miserable than him learning everything and leaving her side of his own accord.

That’s why Lillian Shizu struggled to break free from his embrace.

…Though even to her, the movement wasn’t as fierce as she had intended.

Whether she struggled or not, Kal’s hold on her was remarkably firm.

So much so that the expression “watertight” would be appropriate.

As she struggled to escape his inescapable embrace, another emotion completely opposite to anxiety began to bloom in Lillian Shizu’s heart.

It was the feeling of relief, utterly contrary to anxiety.

Even though he wasn’t exactly the same person, with subtle differences.

Perhaps it was because she was feeling Kal’s embrace, which had first made her truly feel human warmth, after such a long time.

It wasn’t strange that relief would blossom in Lillian Shizu’s heart as she spent time in his broad, warm embrace.

Some might find the scene ridiculous.

But the magic of feeling warmth from someone she had longed to see but shouldn’t approach recklessly was more than enough to momentarily make Lillian Shizu feel foolish.

As she spent time like this, another form of relief blossomed in her heart.

Relief that she could experience this moment thanks to the extremely slow passage of outside time compared to her clear consciousness flowing through normal time.

Even if just for a moment, if only it could last a little longer…

With such thoughts, it was only natural that Lillian Shizu’s arms tightened, wanting to feel more of Kal’s embrace.