Ch.300295 – Babbling

After regaining consciousness, I examined my Aura Heart closely and found that Astarte was invading Schadenfreude’s domain.

At first, I thought I was seeing things wrong.

To put it in perspective, it was like coming back from duty to find a private napping in a sergeant’s bed. In the Demon Lord’s army, that would be an automatic death sentence.

It seems the seal loosened when my Aura Heart experienced a slight shock during the competition.

To make matters worse, I removed the headband that regulates mana flow during my fight with Oh Deok-jae, essentially inviting disaster upon myself.

“Okay Ha-ru, you need to hold it tight, alright?”

Materialists who view matter as the origin of everything claim that even human consciousness is just a product of mana particles and electrical signals interacting.

I personally don’t prefer such theories from unromantic people who view the world so rigidly, but their theories have proven quite useful when dealing with Corrosion.

“Y-you’re going to stab that into my stomach? Really? For real? By yourself without a doctor? What if something goes wrong?”

In Ha-ru’s hand was a massive needle about 15cm long and 1.65mm in diameter.

I can extract aura like thread and rub it between my hands like clay until it becomes hard and long like a syringe needle.

If I stab this into my Aura Heart, I can return to normal life. I really mean it.

“If something goes wrong, what’s the worst that could happen? Death?”

“D-death?!”

“Just kidding. Nothing will happen.”

“Phew…”

“As long as you don’t drop it.”

“Eeeek!”

“It’s fine, even if you drop it, we can start over.”

“Phew…”

“But if you insert it wrong, it could be really bad-“

“Hey NoName, stop joking around! I’m being serious here! Waaah…”

Ha-ru protested with trembling hands.

When we were at the orphanage, A-rin helped with seven of these, and she’s making such a fuss over just one.

Still, brave Lee Ha-ru didn’t close her eyes like Baek A-rin did. She maintained complete focus without blinking until the long needle penetrated my abdomen.

I simply snipped off the protruding ends from my stomach and back with my fingernails.

If adults had witnessed my primitive surgery, they would have been horrified, but with the help of my excellent little assistant, I successfully completed the emergency treatment.

Ha-ru scurried outside to call the adults.

The sound of footsteps rushing like a buffalo herd echoed through the hospital room.

*Thud!*

“Name!”

“NoName!”

First came my troublesome clan members Yoo Si-a, Pyo Min-jun, and Yi Mir,

Then Baek Hochan CEO, Baek Minwoo, and Baek A-rin,

Daniel, Shin Yeon-ho, and Ban So-wol from Korea University,

And Principal Gu On-yu and Teacher Jacqueline Carroll,

With Professor Cheon and Seol Yoon-sul at the very end.

I heard that our broadcast managers and Yu-na’s family had just departed as well.

…As Seol-ah said, quite a crowd has gathered.

“Hello.”

With all eyes focused solely on me, I felt a bit embarrassed.

I pulled the blanket toward me, hugging it close as I greeted them.

“It’s been a while. I’m NoName. You all remember me, right?”

Just with that casual remark,

People started tearing up.

These grown adults embraced me warmly while sobbing ridiculously.

Fortunately, I had already cried in secret earlier, so I could respond with proper adult composure.

“Of course we remember you…! We were so worried…”

“Yoon-sul unnie…”

“Don’t ever lose your memory again… it’s forbidden, forbidden. Got it?”

“Yes. I promise.”

Memory is a curious thing.

When two people share memories, they become reminiscences,

When neither has memories, it’s as if nothing happened.

But when only one side remembers, there can be no greater tragedy in the world.

As I patted Yoon-sul’s back, I silently apologized to all the Corrosions I had punished and their connections or lovers.

To all those other “me’s” who simply wanted to live normal, happy lives.

* * *

“You rascal! I knew you’d cause trouble the moment you removed your headband during the competition! What good is it if you just yank it out like that!”

“You never told me I had to keep wearing it!”

“How dare you talk back to your elders like that? When adults speak, you should say ‘Yes, I’ll remember that’ and accept it! Hmm?”

“N-E.”

I don’t think we really needed to call Teacher Baek Bonggon all the way here.

He came all the way from Gunsan, so I couldn’t just kick him out. I was quietly letting his nagging flow in one ear and out the other.

“Since you’re not fully recovered yet, I’ll stop my scolding here.”

“You’ve already said plenty. It’s getting late…”

“Tsk, again?”

“Haha… Grandfather, let’s stop here, okay? Name, try to be a bit more accommodating…”

“Anyway, take good care of that. And you too, Cheon Byong-ho! Make sure this kid keeps the headband tied properly until they become an adult! Got it?”

As Teacher Baek Bonggon packed up to leave, his grandson asked:

“Grandfather, are you leaving already?”

“Yes. What else is there to see if the kid’s fine? I just needed to confirm they’re alive.”

His gruffness was so obviously an act.

“Teacher Baek.”

“What?”

“I’ll definitely remember. Thank you for making such a good item for me.”

“Huh. Why are you… if you’re grateful, go tell your father instead.”

Yet he left the hospital room with a smile, without looking back.

The day seemed incredibly short as I talked with so many people.

I never knew I could be someone who talks this much.

I wondered if perhaps some of the Corrosion’s personality remained… but that wasn’t it.

It was surprising to realize that all these connections—both those who worried about me and those who scolded me—were relationships I had chosen to create myself.

And Professor Cheon was always there at the beginning and the end.

After everyone had left for their homes,

We sat side by side on the bed at the top floor of the hospital, watching the sunset.

“I’m sorry for worrying you. You must have been quite shocked.”

Since when did I become someone who apologizes first?

I twirled my hair with my fingers as I uttered these unfamiliar words.

“Do you know how to make a bottle of muddy water clean again?”

Professor Cheon suddenly asked.

“Muddy water?”

“Yes, without pouring out the contents.”

Is this suddenly a science quiz?

If it’s a riddle, I’m not very confident…

“Couldn’t you use a filter? Or maybe use coagulants or chlorine as purifiers…”

I trailed off, watching his reaction.

“The easiest way, they say, is to keep pouring clean water into the bottle. The muddy water will overflow naturally, and the inside will gradually become clear.”

“That’s silly. If you had clean water to begin with, why insist on keeping the same bottle?”

“Because for some people, the bottle might be more precious than the water.”

Ah… this wasn’t just about science.

I placed both hands demurely on my thighs, slightly clutching my hospital gown.

“I thought that without having to dig up bad memories, if we just kept pouring happy and good memories into our Name, eventually the nightmares you have every night would settle to the bottom of your memories…”

“You knew I was always having nightmares? Since when?”

“I first found out when you were hospitalized for the Aura Heart surgery. It continued after you came home.”

The nightmares I have are illusions created by the Corrosions’ consciousness, something I really can’t control.

“I’m really fine. I just talk in my sleep a lot, but I have plenty of good dreams too. Most recently, I dreamed about going to an amusement park.”

“How long will I have to worry?”

“Pardon?”

“Seeing you constantly getting hurt and suffering… it’s becoming too difficult for me to watch anymore.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I’m not blaming you. How long has it been since you participated in that game competition?”

I mentally flip through the calendar.

“About 4 months… roughly 20 weeks now.”

“Yes, 20 weeks… It seems like so much has happened in such a short time. Was there anything particularly difficult for you while getting here?”

I could honestly say I’ve been living quite diligently.

As long as I live carrying both Seol-ah’s and my name,

As long as I’m blessed to live in such a good environment,

I’ve always done my best without regrets.

“You’re always good at listening to others’ concerns.”

“Do other people tell you that about me? What do they say?”

“They all say they’re very grateful. That their lives changed because of you.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“But I’m most curious about what’s in your heart.”

“It’s nothing special… To be honest… I sometimes feel anxious about how long my luck will last. There are so many people with abilities who can’t fulfill their dreams… Meeting you, Professor Cheon, was already incredibly fortunate for me. If I don’t live properly with such luck, I feel somewhat guilty.”

“But Name, how you live is your freedom. If it’s hard, you can rest for a while, and sometimes even take steps back. No one is forcing a life upon you.”

“I’m afraid I might regret it later.”

Regret.

If only I had done better then, if only I had lived more properly.

I keep pushing myself for fear of such regrets.

I hated the thought of being labeled a loser or having my name tarnished more than death itself.

But just having someone worry about me like this made me feel incredibly good, like I was floating.

“Can I talk about something else that was hard?”

“Of course.”

“I was really exhausted from lack of sleep while preparing for the competition.”

“Were you?”

“Yes. The preparation time was too short… there’s a limit to how much you can teach. And technically, Cephiron Academy lost. In many ways, it felt like all my efforts were wasted, which was quite disappointing.”

Cephiron’s victory was almost like a moral victory at best. Next year, I’ll crush them for sure.

“You were quite disappointed. But I’m sure there were students who benefited from your teaching. Don’t you think?”

“Yes. They might not be as smart as me, but they’re intelligent enough that teaching them was rewarding.”

“Haha. Yes, you worked very hard. Now we need to make sure you get enough rest, no more sleep deprivation. You know you won’t grow taller if you stay up too late, right?”

“Height is mostly genetic anyway. If you were my dad, I’d never have to worry about height in my life.”

“Huh?”

“…? Oh, I’m sorry! What am I saying?”

“No, no, no, no! It’s really okay! Professor… I’d be okay if you called me dad too.”

We were doing fine until we got caught in this awkward atmosphere.

We both turned our heads away, glancing at each other from the corners of our eyes.

When things get awkward, phones are the best distraction.

I took out my phone from my pocket, waiting for the awkward atmosphere to pass.

By chance, I came across an article featuring Professor Cheon.

“What’s this? Child abuse…?”

“It’s nothing. Just people stirring up controversy.”

“How is this nothing? They’re completely vilifying an innocent person! Aren’t you angry?”

This person is surprisingly frustrating?

He doesn’t understand the concerns of those who worry about him, acting like everything is fine as long as he’s okay.

I put my phone back in my pocket and continued our earlier conversation.

“Anyway. While there are many challenges, the truth is I’m doing things I enjoy. I like becoming famous, I like getting attention from people. I want to live diligently as far as my abilities can take me. But I do need to… take a break for a while. I shouldn’t risk burnout.”

“I believe you’ll manage well.”

“Thank you for listening… father… no, dad…”

My hands clenched tightly.

The fabric over my thighs wrinkled as it gathered in my grip.

This is so embarrassing.

I couldn’t bring myself to look up.

I don’t even know where Professor Cheon’s gaze is directed right now.

In all my lives, I always died at twenty-five, and coincidentally, his age was similar to my father’s.

Now that I’ve said it, it doesn’t feel as awkward as I expected.

“About calling you dad… I figured rather than enduring this embarrassment twice when transitioning from ‘father’ to ‘dad’… it might be better to get it over with in one go. Don’t you think… f… d… dad?”

It was a stammering excuse, but I tried my best.

Really, dad.