Ch.29Winter (7)

“Happy birthday.”

Those words lingered in my ears, making me unable to lift my head.

Though it happened just minutes ago, I wondered why my heart was fluttering so much.

“I should disinfect it first. My goodness, the wound is so deep that you’ll probably have difficulty lifting your shoulder.”

“I gritted my teeth and managed. Actually, it didn’t hurt much during the fight.”

It hurts quite a bit now, but it was bearable while fighting. Why do I always seem to injure my shoulder specifically?

When I said this with a faint smile, Lord Chris frowned and gave a bitter smile.

Well, at least everything ended well, so that’s fortunate.

Of course, now that a dark mage had appeared like this, it didn’t mean there wouldn’t be any problems going forward.

Still, things should be fine for the time being.

The dark mages wouldn’t form an organized group for another five years,

and worrying now wouldn’t allow us to do anything immediate anyway.

Blood was still seeping through the bandage wrapped around my shoulder.

Was it because of dark magic? Lord Chris frowned at the wound that was healing more slowly than a knife cut would.

“You shouldn’t let yourself get hit by something like this.”

“How am I supposed to dodge everything while suspended in mid-air? Sometimes you just have to take a hit and keep fighting.”

“Tsk. Anyway, we need to see the Duke tomorrow.”

“The Duke, you say.”

Though I had expected this, now that I was actually going to meet him, I wasn’t sure what to say.

I was a bit nervous, truth be told. He was the head of House Yuris and Airine’s father.

In the novel, he had only appeared in a few sentences, so I knew very little about him.

The main thing I knew was that he would die in a few years.

After experiencing this incident, I suspected it might be related to dark mages,

but it seemed too early to make hasty judgments.

There was still quite some time before his death. Perhaps around when I would have my coming-of-age ceremony.

It was also shortly before dark mages would begin their full-scale activities, and there was far too little evidence to make any determinations.

“Well, don’t be too nervous. He’s probably calling you to praise you. Though I think the appointment ceremony might be delayed a bit.”

“The appointment ceremony?”

“You’re injured like this, and a dark mage has appeared. There will probably need to be a thorough investigation, so it would be difficult to hold any events right away. All events before the hunting festival will likely be canceled.”

Of course, the appearance of a dark mage would be an incident closely watched not only by House Yuris but by the entire empire.

When I quietly nodded, Chris, having finished wrapping the bandage, patted my back and grinned.

“There, the bandage is done. The young lady seems to have a lot to say to you.”

“Well, I suppose so.”

Thinking of Airine’s face, I felt a bitter taste in my mouth.

Her expression when she looked at me kept flashing before my eyes, making me frown and let out a shallow sigh.

When I was injured, she seemed almost angry.

Was she angry that I got hurt? I was grateful for her concern, but I also felt sorry.

I was just a vessel, someone who might disappear from this world someday.

If I were to vanish like this, what would happen to her?

While I truly wanted her to find some peace in this duke’s mansion,

I didn’t want to get too close to her.

I had thought I would just stay here and leave once I saw her future change.

But perhaps I had already dug too deep.

“I think I should go to my room.”

My head was spinning. Part of it was from fighting the dark mage, but I also wanted to organize the thoughts jumbling my mind.

My body felt as heavy as water-soaked cotton due to fatigue.

As I smiled faintly with narrowed eyes, Lord Chris, understanding my exhaustion, stood up and spoke.

“Yes, we can talk later. Go to your room and rest. You’re probably the most tired of all of us.”

“…Thank you for your consideration.”

I bowed once and then left the room. Opening the door revealed a dark corridor.

The same as always, a corridor dimly lit only by the flickering candlelight.

As I stepped onto the slippery marble floor, I soon raised my head at the presence I felt ahead.

“Evan.”

When that voice reached me, I couldn’t help but let out a sigh.

The face I least wanted to see, yet the face I most wanted to see.

“…My lady.”

When I met those blue eyes that shone more brilliantly than the candlelight, I could only smile bitterly.

It felt as though the single phrase she had uttered filled the corridor and wrapped around my body.

#

I wondered why my heart trembled so much at her simple words of congratulation.

Was it because Evan’s birthday coincidentally matched my original birthday, or was it just that the congratulation itself felt awkward?

Perhaps it was Airine’s presence as she looked at me.

*Tap*

The teacup engraved with lotus patterns was filled with Darjeeling tea.

Staring blankly at the beautifully brewed crimson tea, I slowly opened my mouth.

“I’m fine.”

Airine’s gaze had been fixed on the bandage around my shoulder from the beginning.

The bandage still seeping with blood as the wound hadn’t healed—was that the reason?

Why were her eyes wavering like that? Even though I had explicitly said I was fine, Airine couldn’t easily take her eyes off it.

She just stared blankly at the spreading red stain.

“My lady.”

“…I’m listening.”

“You don’t need to worry so much. It will heal soon. Didn’t you see how quickly I recovered last time, in just a day or two?”

Only then did she take her eyes off it and stare at me intently.

Her slightly trembling eye corners narrowed for a moment, then closed as a shallow breath escaped her lips.

“Just because a wound heals quickly doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Unless you can’t feel pain. Isn’t that right?”

“……”

“You didn’t have to get hurt. If I had been a little more, just a little more careful—”

“My lady.”

Cutting off Airine’s words, I looked at her again.

Her wavering eyes were wandering, having lost their way. This incident wasn’t her fault.

It was simply that the dark mage had targeted House Yuris.

How could I blame anyone else? Even if this had turned into a tragedy, it would have been the dark mage’s fault, not hers.

“Why are you blaming yourself?”

I frowned as I saw her hands trembling slightly.

There was no need for her to blame herself, but had she developed such feelings because I was injured?

Feeling a surge of guilt, I ran my hand over my face and spoke.

“It’s not your fault, my lady. The world doesn’t blame natural disasters on anyone. This dark mage was simply something no one could have predicted. In the end, everything turned out well, didn’t it? We captured the dark mage, and we can prepare for future incidents.”

“…But you got hurt.”

At Airine’s response, I could only close my mouth.

What significance did my injury hold that made her look at me with such an expression?

Her distorted eyes made it feel as though my breath was caught in my throat.

It was so awkward to face someone who genuinely worried about me.

In my life, I had never encountered such a gaze, and I stared blankly at Airine.

“On their birthdays, others usually just lie in their mansions and spend time leisurely. They open their gifts and imagine what might be in the next box. But all I’ve given you is this wound.”

“…It’s okay if I don’t receive congratulations. I’ve never been congratulated before, and I never even expected it.”

This had nothing to do with Evan. It was a story related to “me” before becoming Evan.

Yet somehow, those words spilled out when I heard her speak.

Was it because I didn’t want her to feel sorry?

Momentarily taken aback by my own unexpected words, I soon smiled faintly at Airine who was staring at me.

Birthday,

I had thought it would be better if it never came.

There was nothing special about birthdays, and the only call I ever received was a cold one from my parents asking if I was still alive.

Despite giving birth to me, there wasn’t a shred of affection in that call, and sometimes when I heard it, I felt the urge to end my life.

But I didn’t. I thought that someday, if I kept living, things would change.

Despite living with that thought, nothing ever changed.

“Happy birthday.”

Yet here, in this place, I met someone who congratulated me on my birthday.

Someone who remembered a birthday I had even forgotten myself, and congratulated me without being told.

Even though I thought this was a place I would eventually leave, when I heard such words, I couldn’t let go of my attachment.

After silently repeating her name, Airine, I once again met those blue eyes looking at me.

They resembled the moon that shone alone when I occasionally looked at the sky.

Capturing the light of the blue night, they resembled that moon that looked at me as I sat alone in my room.

Would this time be different? Would now be different from then, when I waited for a hope without any promise?

But that doubt soon scattered with the gentle voice flowing into my ears.

Once again, I exhaled at that voice that always knocked on my heart.

“Don’t say such things.”

“……”

“You are more than worthy of being congratulated.”

Worthy of being congratulated.

A laugh escaped me suddenly.

It was the phrase I had longed for, but the first person to say it to me was not my parents but the noble lady I was guarding.

It was amusing that I, who had sympathized with her situation, was hearing such words. My twisted lips trembled slightly.

I had tried not to hold onto any more attachments.

I hadn’t wanted to get any closer to her.

But those wavering eyes directed at me seemed to be firmly taking root in my heart.

At first, it was just a thought of “maybe.” Since I had entered a novel,

maybe I could change her fate—that was my mindset.

It was really just a light thought, with the acceptance that if I failed, it couldn’t be helped.

But that feeling started to grow heavier. When her expression gradually changed,

when the mask covering her face broke and the emotions underneath flickered through,

I realized I was unconsciously drawing closer to her.

She had asked me to stay with her in the future.

How could I forget those words I heard on that balcony under the stars?

There was no longer any coldness in her gaze toward me.

A warmth that could make one forget winter for a moment enveloped my body, making my face feel hot.

How did I feel about Airine? Just a knight and a noble lady?

Even if it was just at that level now, I couldn’t predict how these feelings would spread if they continued to grow.

I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked at Airine.

Her tightly closed red lips always formed a horizontal line. Now, my resolve was different from when I first had these thoughts.

I sincerely wanted to prevent her tragedy.

I didn’t want to see this woman, who smiled at me like this and told me I was worthy of congratulations, perish in that tragedy.

The sword at my waist felt heavier than ever.

Perhaps because I had reaffirmed my resolve, my sword as a knight felt so heavy.

But the corners of my lips curved upward.

It was no longer a hollow laugh due to emptiness or a tight chest.

With my mind made up, that tightness disappeared, and I smiled more brightly than ever at the noble lady looking at me.

Having someone acknowledge me was such a joyous thing.

Hoping that she would never again be immersed in sadness, I slowly opened my mouth.

“There is one gift I would like.”

“…A gift?”

When I was young, my brother always received gifts on his birthday.

Of course, I never did, but this time, I felt like I wanted to receive one gift from her.

Although it was more like a wish than a gift.

“I just want you to smile.”

“……”

“I hope that shadows won’t fall on your face anymore. I wish you would put down the responsibility you always carry on your shoulders, even if just for a moment, and smile brightly.”

I hoped that all the darkness in her eyes would clear away, and someday she would smile brightly.

Could there ever come a day when Airine Yuris, free from the names of “Iron Blood” and “Yuris,” would smile with relief?

Perhaps I might never see that smile.

But if these words of mine could change her even a little, that would be enough.

Airine’s eyes turned to me.

Looking at her face covered with surprise and bewilderment, I smiled faintly again.

The moonlight seeping through the window and illuminating this darkness seemed much brighter than usual.

On my birthdays, I always used to look out the window wrapped in a blanket.

That hadn’t changed now.

It was still cold on my birthday, and the cold touching my cheeks was no different from back then.

But I let out a hollow laugh at the fact that the presence of just one person had changed everything.

Then, and now.

It was winter.