Ch.29Chapter 29: Buried in Assignments

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Before the Regression.

My second life—after my first death, receiving the unwanted favor of the Demon God, and becoming an Agent—was hell.

Plagued by an inferiority complex, I rejected everything given to me and chose the life of a bottom-rung mercenary. I did eventually gain the overwhelming power I desperately wanted.

But the biggest problem was that I wasn’t the one wielding this power—it was under the control of the malice implanted by the Demon God when he gave me strength.

Despite living a wretched life consumed by inferiority.

If I gained power, I had always wanted to act like the shining heroes I admired.

But unlike me, the Demon God who revived me and gave me power, and the malice that controlled my body, wielded the power within me in a completely different direction from what I desired.

It burned.

From this wretched body that once risked life just to generate fighting spirit within.

Literally, black flames of malice that burned the world bloomed.

With a single gesture, pitch-black flames rose and incinerated everything around me, leaving not even ashes behind.

And it cut.

Though each movement was unimpressive, the sword strikes delivered with overwhelming power bestowed by the Demon God’s blessing cut and split everything in their path.

Not to mention the heroes who protected the world’s light.

Even innocent people who simply lived peaceful, happy daily lives.

I screamed.

Continuing an unwanted life, I screamed desperately as I couldn’t stop my body from committing evil acts against my will.

At first, I screamed and shed tears.

When my tears dried up, blood flowed from my eyes instead.

And after some more time, when even the blood dried up.

Although it wasn’t done by my will.

My heart, forced to helplessly witness such tragedy, completely withered and let go of any attachment to life.

I wanted to die.

Rather than live as a monster that burned the world, I wanted to break this chain of evil deeds even if it meant facing a miserable death.

That’s why, when I accidentally regained control of my body from the malice, I harmed myself to the brink of death, praying I would no longer burn the world.

And as I prepared to quietly disappear into ashes, considering the second death given to me by the light that illuminates the dark world as salvation.

Strangely, I found myself traveling back in time to when I was at my most wretched.

I was afraid.

A fear mixed with regret that I had returned to the most dangerous period when I would make the most misguided choices.

And though I barely avoided making the wrong choice, uncertainty about whether I could continue to do well in the future.

Of course, even though I had a warm experience that eased this fear during the short span of a day.

I was still scared.

I had gained experience and lessons related to the timeline that only I remembered.

I had acquired abilities far superior to what I had at this time.

And even though I had the opportunity to live a better life based on this.

The fear that I might walk the same path as before if I made even a small mistake still occupied a corner of my mind, watching me, though diminished in size.

Fear is like fog.

It obscures the right path forward and creates situations where you can’t see even a step ahead, inducing wrong judgments like an obstacle.

Today was no different.

Opposite my firm resolve to move forward on a better path while crossing swords with you, who possess the brilliant light that will soon protect the world from darkness, grew a self-loathing for the wretchedness of my weak existence.

Just as I was about to forcibly shed this wretchedness and step into the fog of fear where I couldn’t see a step ahead.

A touch came that warmed both my body and mind, starting from the crown of my head.

Smaller than my hand.

Slightly hard to the touch with calluses from years of holding a sword.

It was the hand of my precious fiancée whom I always wanted to protect.

But perhaps because the warmth from that small hand was so comforting.

Despite being a Cradle student who should have better control over each part of their body than anyone.

The more Shizu’s touch continued.

The heat on my face, starting from the crown of my head, showed no signs of subsiding.

#

“Ahem.”

It took about 5 minutes to cool my heated face and calm my excited heart with a fake cough.

In other words, this was also the time it took to get used to Shizu’s gentle touch as she carefully stroked each strand of my hair.

It wasn’t the first time I had entrusted my head to her touch.

But it was the first time that a corner of my heart received such a ticklish stimulation from her touch.

‘This feels nice.’

When I couldn’t think properly due to embarrassment, I didn’t realize it, but as I became more accustomed to her touch, I truly enjoyed this feeling of both body and mind becoming peaceful.

‘How long has it been since I felt happiness?’

Happiness.

No other word came to mind except these two syllables.

I was happy to meet you again, who could make me feel so comfortable with just one small hand.

But as if admonishing me not to just receive happiness.

‘…I wonder what expression Shizu is making right now.’

Suddenly, I remembered the slightly worried expression mixed with gratitude that Shizu showed when she first stroked my hair.

‘If there’s any sign of worry on her face…’

I should immediately help her relax.

With that thought in mind, I carefully raised my head that had been completely lowered while entrusting myself to her touch, thinking of various reassuring words to comfort her if she looked worried.

“Hehe…”

But hearing Shizu’s happy laughter near my ear, I lowered my head again and quietly accepted her touch.

Swish, swish

Shizu’s hand stroking my hair neither accelerated nor slowed down from when she first started.

As if indicating this was the optimal posture and speed.

But even though her touch remained unchanged, there was one thing that had changed.

“Hehe… Cal’s hair. It’s so fluffy and nice.”

At first, her touch was motivated by gratitude toward me and concern about whether I had been injured during our sparring, but now a certain level of affection had been added.

“Ahem.”

Though soft, Shizu’s affectionate voice was clearly audible due to our proximity, so I cleared my throat to prevent others from hearing her words.

‘I shouldn’t cut my hair.’

At the same time, I completely revised my plan to cut my hair that I had when looking in the mirror yesterday.

‘If she likes it, I should keep it.’

I’ll just trim it slightly, not too short, just enough to maintain the grip (?) she enjoys.

While organizing these thoughts, Shizu’s hand continued stroking my hair without showing any signs of stopping.

I wanted to let her continue until she was satisfied.

But it wasn’t a good choice to show such happiness when many students were sweating and dedicating themselves to self-training, dreaming of a better tomorrow.

“Shizu… I’m fine now.”

I barely composed myself and said I was okay while turning my body to escape from her touch.

Now I should spend the rest of the day training diligently and have a fulfilling day…

“Ah…”

…but as soon as I moved, Shizu’s voice, full of disappointment, stopped me.

“You could stay longer…”

Not content with just expressing slight disappointment in her voice, she added an earnest expression requesting me to stay longer.

The appeal in that gaze was so intense.

Unconsciously, I almost stopped trying to escape her touch and thought about entrusting my head to her hand again.

Murmur, murmur

‘…It’s started.’

The murmuring voices of many students observing me and Shizu from a reasonable distance quickly organized my improper thoughts.

‘We’ve attracted quite a bit of attention.’

In this awakened-exclusive training ground filled with students burning with youthful passion focused on physical training, the sight of a man entrusting his head to a beautiful woman’s touch for an extended period?

This situation alone was enough to become a topic of conversation for many present here.

‘I wonder what they’re saying.’

Curious, I used my enhanced hearing strengthened by body reinforcement techniques to distinguish each murmuring voice.

My curiosity, half dismissive and half worried due to uncertainty, first found the voices of three students murmuring the loudest around us.

What could they be saying?

Focusing my hearing with that curiosity, I heard:

-I’m so envious…

-Only I… only I… don’t have a fiancée.

-Ah, I wondered why my side felt so cold, it’s because I don’t have a fiancée.

‘….’

It was envy and jealousy.

A clear but not particularly sharp form of jealousy directed at me, who was receiving a caring touch from a fiancée they didn’t have.

I was relieved it wasn’t that negative.

‘If this continues, I don’t know what kind of glares I’ll receive.’

I felt that if this continued, emotions might manifest in a sharper form rather than this somewhat soft expression of feelings.

“I’m really okay now.”

I barely overcame my desire to remain docile under her touch and escaped from her hand.

After escaping her touch, I slowly raised my head and turned my gaze toward Shizu, who had been stroking me until just now.

“…”

There she was, trying to maintain a calm expression but with slightly dejected eyes.

Though she wasn’t an elf or beastkin with long ears, she looked so dispirited that her ears seemed to droop.

‘Is she that disappointed she can’t stroke me anymore?’

Her expression of deep regret kept catching my eye.

I don’t understand.

Is my hair that pleasant to stroke?

I didn’t expect her bright smile to turn gloomy so quickly.

I was perplexed for a moment.

Fortunately, words that would immediately brighten Shizu’s regretful expression popped into my mind.

“Break’s over, let’s train ‘together.’ Like before.”

Without hesitation, I delivered the words I had composed in my mind with as much warmth as possible.

“Y-Yes!”

Shizu, as if instantly shaking off her previous disappointment, nodded her head vigorously.

Her slightly dejected eyes brightened.

Her seemingly drooping ears perked up.

And her forced calm expression was soon filled with vitality.

‘You still enjoy it.’

Training with me, that is.

I felt both happy and somewhat apologetic.

The apology wasn’t for anything else.

If this were when we had similar abilities before she awakened her special talent, it would be different.

Unlike me, who had completely stagnated for a year and only started moving forward after awakening my special talent.

The gap between you, who had advanced far ahead during that time, and me had widened immensely.

If I had trained diligently without giving up despite seeing you advance so far ahead, even if I hadn’t awakened, I could have at least been at a level to match you.

But the laziness born from a pessimistic belief that nothing would work, lasting about a year, was more than enough time for the skills of a man who inherited noble blood, even if not completely, to deteriorate.

Yesterday, right after my regression, I couldn’t respond properly and was knocked down by a direct hit to the head from her sword—proof of that.

‘I really am incompetent…’

Late regret was making my chest feel heavy.

‘Regret alone won’t move me forward.’

I immediately shed the regret that was trying to bind my heart without restraint and made a new resolution.

A resolution to work harder and become stronger than my previous self to be worthy of standing by Shizu’s side.

A pledge that provided passion and a path forward.

As I calmly made this new resolution, Shizu had already approached me, grabbed my left hand with her right.

“That corner over there is where I always train, so let’s train together there for the rest of the time.”

She said, pointing with her left hand to where we should go.

Though the exclusive training ground was quite crowded with students, there were no students in the direction she pointed.

Perhaps it was a dedicated space within the exclusive training ground, arranged so that she, recognized as the Cradle’s top talent, would not feel any lack in her training.

Along with the secluded scenery, the dense mana concentration artificially created to aid in training could be sensed even from a distance through spiritual perception.

It was clearly an unparalleled place for improving comprehensive abilities, including swordsmanship, if one was determined to focus solely on training.

Nodding slowly with admiration, I followed Shizu’s steps toward the exclusive space as she held my hand.

“Let’s hurry.”

Her voice, showing slight impatience, revealed that she had high expectations for training with me now.

“Let’s go.”

I briefly replied and quickly matched her pace as we arrived at the place where we would spend most of today.

#

“Well then!”

As soon as we reached our destination, a cheerful voice came from Shizu’s mouth.

“For this training, let’s aim for me to be unable to dodge Cal’s sword strikes and have to block them with my sword.”

She presented me with today’s training goal.

Reflecting on our previous sparring, I naturally knew this wouldn’t happen overnight.

But I had no intention of abandoning the resolution I had just made.

“Understood.”

With a brief answer and a nod, I immediately prepared to enter training.

Reflecting on our sparring, I naturally gripped the practice sword at my waist with both hands and took a high stance, raising it above my head.

I didn’t realize until then.

Even as the sun set and bedtime approached.

Against Shizu, who seriously accepted my training without rest except for meal times.

Whoosh

The sword path I desperately created using valuable experience from before my regression not only failed to induce a defensive move from Shizu but merely cut through empty air.

“Sigh…”

After more than a hundred strikes that I stopped counting, another one ended in vain, and I sighed with regret.

‘…Garbage body.’

I cursed my wretched body that couldn’t support my piercing enthusiasm at all.

The sharpened senses from holding the sword instinctively told me movements close to the correct answer.

But since the body executing them wasn’t properly conditioned, only awkward movements with no harmony between body and mind were performed, making failure predictable.

‘How did I succeed yesterday?’

It was amazing that I had delivered a fatal blow that damaged the Demon God Laplace’s spiritual body yesterday.

It felt like a mirage—visible right in front of me but unreachable no matter how hard I tried.

“It’s okay. Let’s do it again tomorrow.”

Only Shizu’s voice, encouraging me with a bright tone despite not being able to properly train herself while matching with me, remained undiminished in the fading day.

There was much to do.

And much to accomplish.

But it was a day full of challenges where I only confirmed how inadequate I was for these tasks.