Ch.2910. I Love You (2)

“We are family now. I declare that from now on, I will handle anything that tries to block or harm you.”

“……”

“I will even clear away all the false accusations against you. All the preparations for that have already been completed.”

However.

“Perhaps as I feared, you might see yourself as dependent on me. But if you don’t mind that… I declare… I will live only for you.”

“……”

How absurd.

Even on the day of the engagement announcement,

his expression was truly indifferent.

Back then, I was wrapped in inferiority and stubbornness.

Caught in resignation and obsession, I saw everything distorted.

To me, you were like the sun.

Its light was so intense that I couldn’t even look at you with open eyes.

It was painful.

Just by your existence.

Just by being compared to you.

Just by being measured against you.

I truly felt suffocated.

But.

In the end, that’s my own fault.

It’s my own inadequacy.

I only realized this after climbing out of the pit myself.

Suddenly.

I can picture it.

Him forcefully lifting me up when I was curled up, leading me forward.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

If I…

…hadn’t made a pact with the Demon King.

Maybe I really would have…

…been saved by her.

Wouldn’t I have been saved?

“……”

It’s an extremely.

Sweet hypothesis.

Far from kind.

Even devastating.

In the end.

“I alone might not be enough for you. So… if it doesn’t cause you pain, I’d like to give Seras a chance too.”

“…?”

What?

“Don’t you know? That child has liked you since childhood.”

“Since childhood?”

I knew Seras had feelings for me.

But was it really since childhood?

Then, a child’s innocent cry echoed in my ears.

[I’m going to be a hero!]

In a small garden, under a tree, a child holding up a branch.

That’s how she declared it.

“……”

“If it makes you happy, gladly. I don’t want to monopolize you and burden you. If I alone cannot care for you, I intend to use that child’s strength as well.”

Seras Esdina.

“She is infinitely lacking, incomplete, and inadequate compared to me. But at least her feelings for you are sincere.”

“……”

Isn’t she.

Praising herself too much?

I wondered if it was appropriate to laugh hollowly here.

After feeling bewildered, I suddenly felt dumbfounded.

What is this all about?

“So, let’s go back.”

From now on, I will.

“Until the day I fall dead, I will protect you.”

“……”

It’s a strange feeling.

Devastating, yet somehow laughable.

And that made it more sad.

To the point where I couldn’t even explain it.

I found this situation…

Extremely… bewildering.

“That won’t work.”

“Why not? I hope you can explain your reasons in a way I can understand.”

She shows slight indignation.

She.

That impossibly cold-headed princess.

“That would be too cruel to both you and Seras.”

“…As a man, it’s fine. I can allow that much. I, Elhermina Berk Enzul! I’m not that narrow-minded.”

“……”

A girl forcing me to take another lover besides herself.

It’s maddening.

While it’s common for nobles to have official and unofficial wives.

Even royalty in other countries commonly practice this.

Because of His Majesty the Emperor and my father,

I had never, not even for a moment, considered such a thing.

“……”

From the beginning.

The very assumption of being with someone.

…I deliberately avoided it.

Yes.

I don’t expect.

I don’t trust.

I don’t dream.

Because it’s too sweet, I almost forgot

that lesson once again.

‘Perhaps depending on him for everything, entrusting everything to him.’

Yes, it wouldn’t be so bad.

If I asked to live without even looking at my parents’ faces within the system,

he would gladly do so.

Without needing a job, without needing to make any effort.

Even if I lived as a rotten, broken dropout, a ruined person.

He would gladly accept it.

His confession and declaration now are based on that premise.

But.

But.

But…

As a man.

…How could I possibly accept such an undignified life?

“……”

Above all.

I made a pact with the Demon King.

She may be watching me obediently now.

But if that Demon King makes a mistake.

If that Demon King changes her mind.

…If she starts to find watching me boring.

Who knows how she might change.

I rely on her.

But I don’t depend on her.

I trust her.

But I don’t blindly believe in her.

The area I rely on and trust is that.

The reality that she who watches over me.

…Will never get bored.

To a demon or Demon King, wouldn’t my stagnant and distorted life

be quite pleasing?

…Moreover, this scenario where the child of Rueld, who defeated the Demon King herself, tries to surpass Rueld and deliver a direct insult.

…From a third-party perspective, how entertaining and gossip-worthy would it be?

That’s right.

We made a deal, we formed a contract.

In the end.

The second deal was a stern warning

not to become complacent.

Also.

“What about Alesius?”

“He must pay for his crimes.”

“…Weren’t you siblings? Don’t tell me you saw him as a rival?”

“All people within the Empire are connected as one family and bond.”

Yet, what did that child do to you and the subjects and servants who fell for him?

“I will make him a proper human being.”

If he doesn’t grow and mature.

“…Until then, he will go through a difficult journey under my watchful eye.”

This is something His Majesty has permitted.

“If that’s what you want, I will do it, Kariel.”

“……”

It’s beyond imagination.

Really.

To the point where my mouth gapes open.

When you think about it.

Our family is by no means a minor one.

My father alone has enough power to face an entire nation.

As for my mother, there’s no need to even discuss it given that the Empire’s de facto state religion is the Irenis faith.

The reason I was swayed and crushed was

because I was so inadequate.

It was in my clumsiness in not riding on my parents’ reputation.

And because my mother was there, who would never allow it, who would rage against it.

My mother would periodically tell me.

As if stitching that belief into my brain, one stitch at a time.

We are not the privileged class.

We are permitted power and rights for the purpose of service.

So Kariel.

You too, willingly.

…Dedicate yourself to the world.

For the world we have protected.

For the world we must continue to protect.

As Saint Kariel did in the past.

That is.

The only way for us to attain eternal life, to be forever redeemed and saved.

So, pray.

Pray.

Let us pray together.

“……”

Come to think of it.

Wasn’t there a territory among the places we’re passing through where Saint Kariel wrote his myth during his lifetime?

I should visit it.

Kariel shook his head demonstratively.

“Still, it won’t work.”

“…How many times must I ask you to tell me your reason?”

Her voice sinks.

Even anger can be felt.

After preparing this much.

After taking such thorough precautions.

After pleading so desperately.

Why won’t you!

“Spilled water cannot be gathered up again.”

At Kariel’s words, Elhermina’s expression froze.

It’s too late, either way.

Yes, El.

If you had confessed your true feelings just a little earlier.

If you had soothed me step by step, and even if I hissed like a frightened cat, if you had continued to comfort me again and again.

Perhaps I too, might have somewhat…

“……”

I looked up at the empty sky.

Up there, the Demon King of Wisdom.

The Golden Demon King is watching.

With eyes full of interest.

I see.

You.

You predicted even this situation long ago.

But, at that time, there was nothing I could do.

Really, there was nothing I could do.

“I…”

However.

Even apart from that.

My desire to defeat my father.

It still hasn’t changed, not even a bit.

‘Look at me’

Please praise me.

Please treat me a little more kindly.

Me…

Me…

…….

I am.

Your only,

…son, aren’t I?

“……”

Not anymore.

Not anymore.

Yes.

In the end, it’s come to this.

Ah.

Aah.

Yes.

So that’s it.

Now I understand why my heart has been so empty and achingly painful every moment.

The inner hunger, the emptiness that couldn’t be filled no matter how much I filled myself, no matter how much I ate.

It’s been slowly festering in my heart and soul all along.

What was I expecting, what was I hoping for?

I just…

…like any other child.

Perhaps I wanted to be loved.

I don’t want to admit it.

Didn’t want to.

But in the end, I’ve come to realize it.

Becoming strong.

Being acknowledged by others.

Even being praised by others.

None of it mattered.

I simply…

…wanted to be loved by you more than anyone else.

Even if the whole world abandoned me.

At least you…

…like that.

My relationship with them was already.

From that day five years ago.

…it was already over.

The moment you.

Failed my expectations.

The moment you didn’t believe my words.

The moment you betrayed me.

Abandoned me.

Disappointed me.

Cursed me.

Killed me.

Every single moment!

I!

After that, I wanted to die.

“…Haha.”

So.

Now I can no longer expect praise, acknowledgment, or love.

My broken heart.

My damaged heart, my crumpled heart, scattered in pieces.

My pitiful pride.

To the point where I absolutely cannot accept it.

I am now.

…broken.

Even if such a situation were to occur.

Even if they sincerely apologized to me, saying it’s not too late, and tearfully promised to do better.

I can no longer accept all of that…

‘What was spilled wasn’t water.’

It was fragments of my soul.

And now there’s nothing.

…left.

“Are you really going to leave? Even after hearing my sincere feelings?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, but I have no choice.”

Now I’m afraid.

The thought of facing them again.

Now.

That single fact has become more frightening than anything else in the world.

“Enough! I won’t listen anymore! If you won’t talk, I have no choice but to cut off communication! Therefore, I! I will not let you go easily!”

As if exploding after holding back for so long.

Like a wounded beast.

Shooting out suppressed emotions and resentment.

She growled.

“If you don’t give me a reason I can accept.”

I will never.

“…release you into this dangerous world. I won’t put you forward or send you out. Regret! Once is enough!”

It must not be repeated.

“Did you think I would so easily give up this determination, this resolve to hold onto you even at the cost of my endurance?!! It cannot be! If I fail to hold you here! If I can’t hold you here! If a tragedy occurs afterward and something happens to you! I! I cannot bear it! I cannot endure it!”

So.

So.

If ever.

If, if ever.

Definitely.

Definitely…

If you want to leave this place.

“Present a reason that even I can readily accept.”

Kariel.

“Kariel Brendiar.”