Ch.28The Third Ball (3)

From the distance, I could hear the murmuring sounds.

Soft music, laughter, conversation, the clinking of wine glasses.

Without realizing it, I felt tense, my heart beginning to pound.

Asena was at the front. Kirsy followed behind her. And I was trailing after them.

We had walked arm in arm from the garden to this place, but due to Asena’s… somewhat difficult to understand comment about not wanting to attract attention, we ended up in this formation.

The doorkeeper glanced down at us from the top of the stairs.

Just a few more steps and I would be stepping into high society.

Asena turned to look at us.

No, to be precise, she looked at me.

“…The goal is to stay quiet and then leave. Don’t forget.”

I nodded.

For some reason, Kirsy didn’t nod.

She just stared at me like Asena did.

It made it feel as if Asena’s words were directed only at me.

Asena turned around and began walking up the stairs.

We followed behind her.

Soon, the doorkeeper announced us loudly and opened the doors to the ballroom, where light spilled out.

Only the music became more vivid.

All other sounds were instantly hushed.

Everyone had stopped what they were doing at the appearance of the “Praester Family.”

I had to suppress the urge to laugh at this situation.

It literally felt like villains had just made their entrance.

Even the musicians seemed to be watching us cautiously, as their music gradually faded.

Conversely, the sound of Asena’s heels clicking against the floor grew louder.

She stopped after reaching the center of the ballroom.

She fully bore the gazes that gathered on her, or rather on us, then took a glass from a waiter who stood frozen, and walked to a corner.

She didn’t say anything else.

Both Kirsy and I followed her example.

We each took a glass of champagne and followed her to an inconspicuous spot.

After we sat down in the corner, the murmuring and music grew louder again.

I could feel the gazes directed at us, but I didn’t bother showing that I was aware of them.

Asena maintained her stern expression. She didn’t seem to feel pressured at all.

It looked too natural for her. As expected of the head of the family.

Meanwhile, Kirsy seemed a bit tense.

Perhaps it just felt that way because I wasn’t used to seeing her without a smile.

That’s how much I’d made her laugh.

But well… there was no reason why she couldn’t smile now.

“….Kirsy.”

I leaned in as if I was about to say something important and whispered in her ear.

Kirsy looked at me once and answered with a serious expression.

“…What?”

“….Cheers.”

And I quietly held out my glass.

Kirsy’s expression softened instantly.

A natural smile appeared. As I smiled back, Kirsy clinked her glass against mine.

Indeed, when my little sister was tense, I wanted to be someone she could rely on.

.

.

.

.

I definitely confirmed the power of the Praester Family.

As Asena had said, many nobles came one by one to introduce themselves. We didn’t need to move.

So-and-so from such-and-such family. What’s-their-name from whatever family.

Despite being in a corner, people kept coming without pause.

With so many different people coming and going… I couldn’t say a single word.

“….Tsk.”

I clicked my tongue and downed my drink.

Why are my uneasy feelings never wrong? I was surprised at how poorly I was being treated, beyond what I had expected.

On the other hand, I think I was foolish for having expectations.

It’s not like I only had negative thoughts when coming to the ball.

I tried to think positively too.

I thought perhaps the reason they told me not to leave was to introduce me to various families.

After all, I was the champion of the jousting tournament, and I had built up quite a reputation… I thought they might be proud of me.

But look at this now.

Like a shadow, I’m sitting alone in the darkness, just sipping my drink.

At first, I enjoyed the atmosphere and the music, but that was only for a moment.

I’m not doing anything.

Just sitting behind the twins.

Again, that unpleasant feeling starts to constrict my chest.

Even though it was just a few days ago that I asked them to love me, no matter how positively I try to think about it, I just can’t understand this situation.

I was becoming convinced that they really just wanted to keep me visible and under control.

It feels like I’m a dog with a leash.

Is this really the strategy chosen for the family’s benefit?

I should believe that, but it doesn’t seem right.

Do the twins not think about how I would take this?

I clearly asked them to cherish me.

Do they know and still act like this?

Many people who came to greet Asena, the Duchess of Praester, tried to greet me too, but they all looked at Asena and gave up.

Standing behind them like I was being punished, they chose not to bother with me.

It was the moment I went from being the “Champion of the Jousting Tournament” back to the “Praester’s Abandoned Adoptee.”

I keep reaching for the drink.

With nothing else to do, I was already on my fifth glass.

As the ball was heating up, my cheeks were flushing with alcohol.

Asena and Kirsy were too busy conversing to pay attention to me.

Everyone was dancing to the music, greeting each other, and engaging in conversation. Even Asena and Kirsy were talking with people who approached them. Only I couldn’t talk to anyone, hiding in the shadows.

Of course, I knew they said to stay quiet and leave… but this was like being mute and leaving.

I can’t understand this situation where people are openly treating me like a ghost.

As I tapped the table with my finger due to mounting frustration, a woman approached hesitantly. I think she was the third daughter of some count who had greeted us earlier.

“….Is there something you need?”

Asena asked.

The woman’s face was clearly embarrassed even to my eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, and her gaze wandered.

Asena and Kirsy adjusted their posture, blocking me even more thoroughly.

“Ah… no… I wanted to talk to Caden Praester…”

My name came up.

I snapped to attention. I took my lips off the glass I was drinking from and looked at the woman.

She was a cute woman who, though not as much as the twins, clearly had been raised with privilege.

Kirsy and Asena turned their heads to look at me.

A smile began to spread across my previously frozen face.

Yes, finally something to—

“—My brother has nothing to discuss with you. Please leave.”

I was about to stand up but stopped at Asena’s words.

I looked at Asena, wondering what was going on.

But she only showed me her back. She didn’t look at me.

“……”

I closed my eyes.

My breath felt blocked, suffocating me.

But I couldn’t attack Asena, the head of the family, in front of the young lady who had approached, so I clenched my molars and looked away.

I just picked up my glass again and took a sip.

It might seem rude to the young lady who had reached out to me, but I didn’t have the composure to smile and apologize.

The young lady apologized awkwardly and left.

Only then did I grab Asena’s shoulder, pull her close, and whisper in her ear.

“….Asena, what are you doing?”

“…Why?”

“Why?”

I had to suppress a bitter laugh.

“Are you really asking because you don’t know…?”

“…..”

“…She was my guest, and you sent her away.”

“Did you know her?”

“…No, I didn’t.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“What do you mean ‘what’s the problem’?”

“I told you to stay quiet and leave.”

“Was I going to shout while talking? I could have had a quiet conversation.”

“…That’s not what I meant, brother. How could you know what she was going to say?”

“I’m not an idiot… I would have handled it somehow.”

“…Let it go, brother. It’s already in the past.”

“Are you deliberately trying to make me an outsider?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ha…”

I put down my glass.

The distinctive clear sound of the glass rang out.

I started to feel like a fool.

Why did I even bother dressing up?

When I’m being treated like a ghost anyway.

I wonder if I’m really at a social gathering.

At this rate, wouldn’t it have been better to just rest?

“I’m going to get some fresh air for a bit.”

I stood up.

“I’ll come with you.”

Kirsy and Asena also stood up simultaneously.

“…..”

Look at this.

If they don’t want to manage me,

Why would they need to follow me like this?

How untrustworthy must I seem to them?

I looked at them and swallowed my words.

Before the twins could follow, I moved away.

I passed through the ballroom, crossed the beautifully decorated corridor, and moved to an increasingly quiet area.

Some balconies already had visitors, so I headed to the farthest one.

Even here, two couples were quietly conversing while enjoying the night view. They looked at me, then tried to resume their conversation as if nothing had happened, but straightened up when they saw the women following me.

“Brother. Let’s go together.”

At Kirsy’s voice, they looked around awkwardly and left. Soon, only the three of us remained on the balcony.

“Phew…..”

I took a deep breath of the cool night air to calm my troubled heart.

But my mouth opened faster than I could calm my heart.

“Am I embarrassing to you?”

“…Huh?”

“I’m asking if I’m embarrassing to you.”

Asena asked with a rigid expression.

“Why would you think that?”

“Not letting me talk to anyone. Just sitting me behind you. What is this all about?”

“I told you to stay quiet and leave.”

“Since when does ‘stay quiet and leave’ mean ‘sit behind us like a folding screen’?”

Kirsy hesitantly answered.

“….Brother. We already discussed this… If you’re going to be like this now…”

“Haa…”

Am I the fool here?

Did I really misunderstand?

After making me feel like a fool until just now, if they’re trying to get past this with aegyo, how am I supposed to react?

I was starting to feel like they knew and were using it as a weapon.

Because I always give in to them, they use aegyo as a weapon.

Even though I had come to the balcony away from the ballroom, I still felt like I was trapped in prison.

I wanted to get away from the twins for a moment.

“…I’m going to the bathroom.”

They turned their bodies. It seemed like they were about to follow me.

With no patience left, I said:

“Am I a child? Are you going to follow me to the bathroom too?”

At my words, which came out like a warning, they both froze in place. I turned my gaze away before seeing their hurt expressions and walked out.

And as soon as I left the balcony, for the first time, I leaned against the wall and slid down.

It’s not like I really wanted to go to the bathroom anyway.

I just needed time to breathe.

Sitting on the floor like that, I rested my elbows on my knees and covered my face with my hands.

Why does a path that seemed so easy feel so difficult?

All I need to do is live happily with the twins.

I just want to build up my skills to prove myself and be their strength.

It was hard because the twins’ evaluation of me was different from what I had hoped for.

A blemish on the family. Someone to be hidden. Someone who shouldn’t stand out. Someone whose problem is being a Praester.

In the few weeks since coming to the Academy, those were the only perceptions I could receive.

Then, Kirsy’s voice reached my ears.

“….Today is tough.”

She sighed as she spoke.

I held my breath.

“…Brother seems to be having a hard time today too.”

I slowly closed my eyes.

As expected, they knew I was struggling. They pretended not to know.

Asena still maintained her silence.

I couldn’t tell if she was nodding or shaking her head.

“….I should have just left brother in the territory. I’ve been thinking that lately.”

My heart dropped with a thud.

Sure enough, once I disappeared, hurtful words about me began to flow without restraint.

There was no doubt it was Kirsy’s voice. My fist slowly clenched.

The fact I didn’t want to believe.

The fact I had suspicions about but pushed away.

Indeed, they were thinking of me as a burden.

Even today at the ballroom, after all.

It wasn’t a strategy for the family.

It was a strategy to hide and control me.

Asena’s voice echoed.

“…Don’t say that to brother.”

“Of course not. What good would it do to tell him such things? But don’t you think the same, sister?”

Asena’s answer wasn’t audible, but from Kirsy’s following words, I could infer Asena’s response.

“Right? I knew you’d think so too. Just… how nice would it be if brother didn’t show himself in front of others.”

If there’s a silver lining, maybe it’s that they are being considerate. They didn’t say such things in front of me. Maybe they still respected me.

“….”

A bitter laugh escaped me for a moment.

Come to think of it, I was habitually trying to find the good in the twins even in this moment.

What a sucker I am.

“…But he seemed quite angry today, what should we do?… I don’t like it when brother is angry…”

Kirsy asked.

“….It’ll be fine. Let’s just get through today.”

Asena answered.

I doubted my ears even after hearing it.

I’m not okay, so what does she mean by “it’ll be fine”?

To that, Kirsy let out a small laugh and said:

“…Right? It’s scary but… it’ll be okay, right? Hehe. Come to think of it, that’s true. Brother is a fool. He only knows us… He said he wouldn’t hug us for life, but ended up hugging us after just 5 days.”

“…..Brother definitely likes us.”

I laughed.

“……Ha.”

It’s not wrong. But from the perspective of someone who forgave, it was quite infuriating.

Not even knowing what effort I went through to forgive. I didn’t forgive them because I’m a fool.

I forgave because I loved them. It was vexing that they had been using my emotions as a weapon since some point.

This might be my karma too.

Maybe I raised them too indulgently. They seem to treat me like a person without emotions.

I had been enduring.

I think I endured a lot.

First, Asena’s betrayal.

Second, Kirsy’s betrayal.

Third, ….the twins’ betrayal.

I stood up.

Yes.

To summarize, this is it.

One.

The twins don’t hate me.

I thought that was the case… and it seems I was right.

I guess it’s the affection from raising them.

The efforts they made to hug me, the kisses they gave on my cheek, weren’t false.

They are mindful of me and don’t like it when I’m angry.

Two.

But, they are embarrassed of me.

For themselves, or for the family, they don’t care about my reputation.

They badmouth me and try to expel me from the family. They interfere with the jousting tournament and tell me to stay quiet at the ball. They’re socially killing me.

Was it such a great sin for a commoner to be in the Praester family?

Love seems to have blinded me all this time.

Perhaps the twins have always been like this.

Being so close, I couldn’t see their true nature.

Then, with this series of events, a gap formed, and only now can I see the whole picture.

Were they always family-first after all?

As characters in a novel, were they villainesses I couldn’t change?

Suddenly, I lost my reason to try.

I’ve given my all, but if they still want to hide me… I have nothing more to give.

If they’re going to be embarrassed of me either way, I’ll act as I please.

I had decided to be their support without expecting anything in return,

but it’s hard when effort goes unrewarded.

The twins’ duality felt like betrayal to me.

It’s cowardly.

In front, they say they love me, they like me.

Behind, they’re embarrassed of me, they hide me.

…..As if I can’t act the same way.

I moved.

“I’m back.”

I announced as I re-entered the balcony.

Kirsy jumped in surprise, and Asena’s head immediately turned towards me.

“Ah… b-brother, you’re back?”

“Yes.”

I approached the twins with a bitter smile. Then, I spread my arms wide and hugged them.

Really… even after all this behavior.

It’s surprising that I can still find love for them in a corner of my heart.

But.

Now I feel pain too.

If I hadn’t loved them, I wouldn’t have felt this pain.

It hurts because I love them.

Almost unbearably.

“B-brother, why suddenly?”

Kirsy struggled in surprise,

Asena remained still for a moment, then quietly hugged me back tightly.

As she did so, Asena whispered to Kirsy.

“..I told you…?”

It seemed to be about what she had said earlier, that everything would be fine.

Kirsy nodded.

Did they act so freely because they knew I would forgive them?

….I’ve forgiven them many times.

I moistened my lips once before speaking.

“…..I’m sorry about earlier. I guess stress built up from staying still. This is why you two handle politics, and I learn the sword, right?”

Kirsy continued to nod in my embrace, and Asena made a suggestion.

“…Let’s go somewhere fun next time. Just bear with it a little longer today. I’m sorry, brother.”

I shook my head.

“No, it’s okay. Oh, but kids.”

I pushed them out of my embrace and put on an apologetic expression. Then, after deliberately hesitating, I spoke with difficulty.

“…..Ah… we were supposed to dance together today.”

“Y-yes. Brother, actually, I’ve been looking forward to it… I’ve practiced quite a bit… Let’s dance together before sister.”

Kirsy said, holding my hand. Her eyes were sparkling. Looking at Asena, she didn’t say anything, but she seemed to be looking forward to it too.

After all, as noble ladies, they seemed to be anticipating the monumental event of dancing at their first ball.

I clicked my tongue once and said.

“….Let’s do it next time. Not today, okay?”

Kirsy blinked her bright eyes once or twice, then showed an expression full of disappointment.

Asena didn’t change much, but her expression seemed to harden a bit more.

But neither of them said anything against my words.

It seemed to be because I had been angry earlier.

But this wasn’t about canceling the dance promise out of some revenge. I just didn’t see a reason to dance with people who were embarrassed of me.

“Understood?”

“………”

I asked again to Kirsy, who was still holding my hand and looking sullen.

“…Understood?”

She silently nodded.

Asena also closed her eyes a couple of times to indicate she understood.

We returned to the ballroom.

The atmosphere was still heated.

I could tell that various connections were being made here and there.

The twins were heading back to the corner.

But I turned my head, looking for someone.

And the moment that person caught my eye, I headed straight for them without hesitation.

“..Brother?”

I heard Kirsy’s voice of confusion from behind, but I ignored it.

As I walked, I grabbed a glass. People’s attention started to be drawn.

‘Oh, what’s this? He’s moving.’

‘I thought he was going to stay quiet and leave?’

I downed the drink as I walked, then put the glass down on a table.

Just like when our family first entered the ballroom, I could feel the space growing quiet.

‘Huh?..Huh?’

‘Wow…really? This is so romantic..!’

People with sharp instincts didn’t block my path.

Soon, a path opened, and at the end was her.

Sitting in her seat, blinking repeatedly.

I extended my hand to her.

“Daisy Hexter. Would you dance with me?”

“…What?”

“You should be the first.”

From a distance, I thought I heard the twins expressing their confusion.