Ch.28694. The Weariness of Being Alive (3)

Just… survive.

If only you can live on.

Somehow, your life will find meaning.

El.

Our lives are certainly valuable.

Our existence means that our fathers and grandfathers, mothers and grandmothers existed.

And they too had their fathers and grandfathers, mothers and grandmothers.

Though we as individuals may be nothing,

We are the proof of the lives they lived.

Don’t give up.

As long as you live, just as you became our hope, someday your life will become someone else’s hope.

El. Ruel. Rueld.

Our wonderful and proud son.

Thank you for growing up so well.

Though Dad and Mom are leaving first, we will always be watching over you…

So don’t forget.

We will always…

====

“……”

Where did it all go wrong?

Was there not enough love?

Was there not enough attention?

Or.

Was the problem that I couldn’t understand his true feelings?

‘Trust….’

I recalled what Loroana and Nedes said after seeing Kariel.

“They never trusted me.”

‘Trust….’

I thought expectations came from belief, but…

How was it really?

I wanted to be fair, just.

And to possess great generosity and capacity.

I wanted to embrace everyone, to hold everyone close.

Was that too greedy?

The child of revelation.

There were many bright children when he was young, but Kariel was certainly special among them.

…Because he understood all of us even before speaking.

I wanted him to be devoted to our work, even if we didn’t pay attention to him.

I told him we were proud of him.

…But.

Perhaps that was wrong.

Kariel was still a child then.

At some point, I began to take it for granted.

What about when I, Rueld, held that child in my arms and returned to the system?

At that time, I truly just wanted him to wake up safely.

‘It shouldn’t have been taken for granted.’

With power comes duty, obligation, responsibility.

I took it for granted, but perhaps for someone else, it wasn’t natural at all.

Even with pain, we became so accustomed to it that at some point we no longer even recognized it as pain.

…But that child wouldn’t have been the same.

Even when evil and weak people fell to temptation and were consumed by malice, criticizing and slandering us… we considered even that as something to endure.

It was merely something to overcome.

But for that child, it wouldn’t have been so.

Moreover, we never properly explained it to him.

…Because we assumed he already knew everything.

‘All this time, I’ve been absurdly assuming that what needed to be done…’

Once, a comrade, the Emperor, said to me:

[Even if I am special, if my descendants are inadequate or lacking, that is a foreseeable disaster.]

Beyond our own greatness, we have the duty and obligation to guide our descendants to be the same.

[If all the fruits we’ve built up collapse after we’re gone, and instead cause greater calamity… then we would have no way to atone for that sin.]

Raising children well is difficult.

If we devote time to that, we cannot save others.

When I saw a child rescued by a hair’s breadth, reuniting with an elderly mother and bursting into tears, I always felt both regret and fulfillment.

I don’t want them to praise and respect me.

I simply didn’t want others to experience the tragedy I faced.

Compared to that, our family…

I thought at least we wouldn’t suddenly be separated by death or distance.

…But I realized that wasn’t a given only after that child left without notice.

Whoosh!

He wields the sword filled with white light freely.

Like swinging a small branch in his right hand, fast and strong, like a swirling gale, like crashing waves…

“……”

The one facing it with fire in his eyes.

With two brilliantly shining eyes glaring through the fluttering black hair.

The sword in his hand is wielded like a sword, like a shield, like a spear, thrusting, blocking, deflecting, pushing, and sweeping.

He responds.

Even if it’s a minor technique, if it works in actual combat, it’s not meaningless.

Moreover, if it’s not a makeshift measure or a hastily contrived tactic to catch someone off guard,

But rather a technique and art mastered as part of a direct approach.

That’s certainly not something to be ridiculed or laughed at.

‘It’s certain.’

No matter what I do, this won’t be decided.

Even though I abandoned my defensive stance and switched to offense.

Clearly I, Rueld, had the initiative and advantage.

But that child was absolutely not one to fall in this kind of confrontation.

The same would be true for Rueld himself.

Though fierce, it was remarkably even, difficult to compare with any past confrontation.

This situation would only break if someone’s stamina or concentration collapsed.

And if that happened, this confrontation would require at least several days or more.

Rueld calculated it would be about that long.

Though difficult to understand intellectually, his intuition in battle was almost supernatural, so he could never ignore what his instincts told him.

‘That means…’

That kid must have sensed this fact too.

Though I switched to offense, it’s still that child who’s being pushed back.

Yet we haven’t yielded a single step, essentially staying in place except for changing the direction or position of our feet.

Neither of us has retreated more than half a step.

It’s a precarious situation, like standing on the edge of a blade.

But both Rueld and Kariel.

Had long abandoned any optimism that either would carelessly show an opening due to broken concentration.

Rueld couldn’t help but be amazed by this.

Meanwhile, Kariel was desperately facing him as if he had anticipated even this.

‘Time is not on my side.’

Kariel must know this well too.

Yet he stepped forward, accepting the disadvantage.

Should I call that courage, or should I sternly rebuke it as recklessness?

‘……’

Having to face Kariel and then defeat the Demon King of Wisdom afterward,

Rueld had decided to conserve some of his strength.

But.

…Such a complacent attitude couldn’t properly answer the boy’s challenge.

Moreover, in this way, even Rueld himself could no longer convince Kariel, nor could he defeat or repel him.

Rueld had just now faced this fact and clearly accepted it.

‘If only my death could solve everything…’

Perhaps that would have been much better.

‘But still…’

I cannot do that.

There was too much left to do.

Including matters concerning Ermina, Kariel.

And also his feelings for her and their second child, Elimion…

A hellish future awaits children who lose their parents.

Rueld himself could somehow endure because of the love of his two parents, but.

‘Not everyone… can do that.’

Look at this child before me.

…Already in that child’s heart and hands, isn’t there more hatred than love, more resentment…

More than that, despair and frustration?

Thinking about that…

‘Absolutely…’

I couldn’t simply collapse here.

Perhaps reconciliation is impossible.

But the fruits born of hatred and resentment eventually return as regret and greater frustration.

…We’ve seen this all along.

‘I cannot pass that burden on to you.’

Whether victory or defeat, where lies the direction that benefits them all?

…In the end, whether I find that method in time or not.

This is also a battle with myself.

“……”

Through the exchange of swordplay, Rueld took a grand step back as if breaking the formation.

“?!”

Kariel, who reflexively tried to follow, saw the white light on his sword grow more intense and forcibly relaxed his shoulders.

Then he corrected his posture, distributing weight evenly to his lower body and regaining his center.

“Show me. Your full power.”

As if saying he would do as Kariel wished, massive divine power began to explosively erupt from his sword and entire body.

‘If it were simple mana…’

I could have rendered it useless without any trouble.

But that power is the primary force wielded by the actual ruler of this world.

The primal force closest to the origin of this world.

“……”

But.

What I wield is truly insignificant.

From the beginning, I…

Have rarely used anything with my own power.

Even when I used Heba’s endless firepower as my driving force.

It clearly wasn’t mine.

But it doesn’t matter.

Rather, because I’ve emptied myself completely.

…Now there’s no reason to clash power against power.

From the beginning, I was…

A being abandoned by mana.

That’s why now, more than ever.

…I can perfectly utilize all the arcane knowledge and results I’ve mastered.

“Para Ensis.”

The black light star, the dark star simply nullifies or offsets the opponent’s devastating attack.

Usually, using such a major technique would lead to exhaustion or weakened physical condition, often leaving one defenseless.

But that doesn’t apply to Father.

To wield such power, one would need to unleash force capable of splitting or blowing away at least one plain or mountain range.

…That would be excessive use of power even when hunting dragons.

Unless it’s to instantly annihilate tens of thousands of soldiers in war, there’s no reason for it.

Even a fraction of that would end any opponent without giving them a chance.

“Father has judged no one.”

As Rueld softly recited, the momentum of the divine power flowing out became even steeper.

Now he was completely enveloped in white light, as if he were an incarnation of light, or an angel or apostle descended from heaven.

“He has entrusted all judgment to His Son.”

“……”

“He has given the Son authority to judge.”

The covenant.

Whether he knows what he’s dealing with or not, that covenant is the source that makes him exist now.

‘Both favor and…’

An unparalleled curse.

The basis that forced me to part ways with you must also lie there.

If the world hadn’t been so unreasonable, we wouldn’t have gone so astray.

Though his fault is clear, the shackles of fate and destiny.

The wheel of fate that turns endlessly without rest, the fate and destiny that connects you and me, is truly petty and complicated.

‘Death if I don’t become a divine subject.’

Even if I avoided that death.

…Even that was because they wanted to use me as firewood, so no one was allowed to extend a helping hand…

This world.

The master of this world.

Therefore.

…She who is free from all shackles of bondage, the golden one, was the only lifeline that could save me.

…Isn’t it truly petty and messy?

Father and Mother.

And she who was the absolute evil to those who saved the continent and countless suffering people.

Yet to me, she was the only salvation.

“……”

Light devours the world.

Even though the real attack hasn’t even begun yet.

Already it’s suffocating.

‘It’s absurd.’

Looking at it this way, effort and determination… everything seems useless.

Even knowing that’s not the case.

Anyway, I’m angry.

“Show me once! If you truly inherited his legacy! You must be able to do it!”

“……”

Inherited, indeed.

With a force that seemed about to devour the world, the white light completely consumed my vision.

“……”

Compared to that, my existence must seem terribly insignificant and feeble.

‘What do you know.’

I swing the pitch-black sword again.

Prepare your sword.

Second.

“Canus.”

The disloyal dark star.

Or the disobedient black light star.

But another slash that connects and follows from it.

Another slash that effectively goes beyond offsetting, mitigation, neutralization, and sealing, leading to a counterattack.

The black light star alone can’t handle all of that.

So I return part of it as a counter to mitigate it.

Simultaneously.

“Para Ensis.”

I immediately prepare for the next move.

A combination executed in a single breath.

“Micate.”

With Canus, I somehow receive the light offensive where the black cross star transforms into a white cross.

But that’s not enough.

From there again.

With Micate, I absorb both Father’s slash and the aftermath of Canus.

Weaving the two forces together to return them to a state of perfect void.

Calm within the storm.

The chilling silence that briefly follows is instantly pushed away.

The aftermath created by the two forces bursts forth into the wave of light.

Like a backflow, like an explosion, the pitch-black light instantly colors and corrodes the white light.

As black and white intertwine, golden and mercurial light also emerges and blends together.

“……”

At that moment, I realized that the divine realm constructed by Athena had collapsed from the impact…

And the world we arrived in was… in a sense, a place very familiar to me.

Only pitch darkness thrives, with only starlight brilliantly shining.

And far, far away… a black circle with a ring of bright light surrounding its edge.

…I’m not sure, but.

Now we were somehow thrown into a space that infinitely resembles that unknown space, some part of the universe where she, Grandeus, and I once briefly stayed.

“……”

Before the impact could fade, before the lingering sensation could disappear.

Father was over there, clearly watching me.

As if regardless of how the surrounding landscape changed, he had not a single confusion or question.

“……”

Rather, if anyone was momentarily confused by this strange phenomenon… it was me.

“Yes. I see this isn’t enough for you yet.”

“……”

Having made his move, he would now settle this decisively. End it completely.

From him flowed a quiet yet world-shaking, heavy and deeply contemplative aura.

“……”

Still.

One thing I understood from just now.

With this.

The optimal stage for me… has unfolded.

I tossed aside the black sword.

And reached out into the void.

“This won’t be decided in this way.”

So.

I drew out the cross sword I hadn’t held in a long time.

I gripped it firmly and took the Para stance as if it were a ceremonial sword.

As if performing a sword salute.

“That is…?”

Since handing it over to Venus, I had forgotten about it all this time.

But holding it again now, the sword fits perfectly in my hand, melting into my grip as if it were part of my body.

…Yes.

This is actually…

One of Grandeus’s greatest provisions.

‘Elbat.’

The black sword is also Elbat.

But this one in my hand now is…

In the true sense, the weapon worthy of that name.

“Hoo.”

I gently steady my breathing.

“Dominatur.”

Peccata.

Finally, in accordance with the dark world, all power and harmony, authority and potential.

I sealed them all at once.

“…?”

Did he notice the sign?

Father’s expression rapidly hardened.

“Let’s do this.”

This is the provision I prepared from the beginning to defeat you.

“…If even this doesn’t work, then well… I’ll admit defeat.”

“Sword…”

I take a deep, thorough breath.

From now on, neither side…

Can blindly rely on anything extraneous.

Yet still, Father had an endless, massive divine power flowing from him.

…But even that would become expendable.

So from now on.

…I won’t collapse from exhaustion before him.

Now truly, the time remaining for us is infinitely finite.

Without any exception.