Chapter 282

Read on K​atR​eadingCafe

Regina’s wrist was a mess of cuts.

The knife marks were tangled irregularly.

Red lines spread out like branches of a tree.

Drops of blood flowed down her arm like dew clinging to flower petals.

It was a gruesome sight that would make anyone wince. The only saving grace was that the wounds weren’t deep. 

From my experience, they weren’t serious. Most were shallow cuts. She hadn’t severed an artery, so the bleeding wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

That’s why you can’t trust a beginner. If you’re going to do it, do it properly… Ugh, stay still! Lucille inside me!

“It’ll sting a little. Just bear with it.”

A handkerchief wasn’t enough, so I brought a towel and wrapped it around the wounded area.

If I kept it tightly pressed like this, the bleeding would stop soon.

Of course, my treatment was just first aid.

I needed to take her to the infirmary for proper treatment right away.

With a Supernatural’s regeneration, it wouldn’t matter if I left it alone, but…

Regina isn’t like me, is she?

It would be better for her to take medicine and apply ointment to heal as quickly as possible, right?

“Regina…”

But I postponed taking her to the infirmary for a moment. There was something I had to do first. I knelt down and met Regina’s eyes as I spoke.

“Why did you do this? Did it hurt? Are you okay?”

“…”

No answer came.

Regina kept her head down and avoided making eye contact with me.

Her purple hair fell like a curtain, hiding her face. Thanks to that, I couldn’t see her expression, but it wasn’t hard to guess what kind of face she was making.

I sighed and looked around. The scenery of the dark room was visible in outlines. Boxes were scattered haphazardly in one corner. They were all related to perfume. The room was filled with such a strong perfume smell that it was hard to breathe. It felt like my nose was beyond stuffy, like it was paralyzed. How much did she spray? More importantly, why did she spray so much?

It was clear that she wasn’t in a normal state. Was I being too optimistic? I didn’t realize Regina was having such a hard time.

No, I had a rough idea. She ran away from me and even fainted from hyperventilation. I had a hunch that she felt a considerable amount of guilt.

But I really didn’t expect her to harm herself.

She’s not like me. Regina isn’t Lucia. She doesn’t like pain. She doesn’t enjoy it.

And yet, she deliberately cut her wrists.

That meant her stress had reached an extreme level, to the point where she was breaking herself.

It meant she was driven into a corner so much that she couldn’t bear it without doing this.

‘…Is it okay?’

The reason I came to her was to break the brainwashing.

I can’t undo Astaroth’s brainwashing. There are several ways to break the mask’s brainwashing, but most of them are beyond my abilities.

But just because I can’t do it doesn’t mean no one else can. I don’t have to solve everything by myself, right? Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. You can supplement your weaknesses with other people’s strengths.

The ‘Chosen One’ is the nemesis of the Devil Gods.

Yoo-seong was the previous Chosen One.

[Under Heaven and Earth, I Alone Am the Honored One.]

Yoo-seong’s Supernatural ability, which rivals the power of God, could break the brainwashing.

Since Yoo-seong happened to be visiting the Academy, I was planning to take this opportunity to solve the brainwashing.

‘She’s suffering from this much guilt even in a brainwashed state… What if she’s freed from the brainwashing…?’

With Astaroth’s personality, she must have lowered the intensity of the brainwashing. To make Regina writhe even more in guilt. To watch her from the side and giggle.

But if the brainwashing isn’t completely undone, she’ll inevitably be affected. Regina’s guilt was somewhat suppressed, as if filtered. And yet, she committed self-harm, which means…

‘…What if she commits suicide?’

If I released her from the brainwashing, it wouldn’t end with self-harm.

Everything is difficult the first time.

She’s already tried self-harm, so what’s to stop her from going further?

Even I hesitated a little when I first cut my finger.

But the moment I cut it off, the limiter broke.

‘But I can’t leave the brainwashing as it is.’

Astaroth is a collector.

She has a nature that can’t stand not having something she likes.

If Regina stimulated Astaroth’s collecting instinct, she wouldn’t kill her for now.

She only wouldn’t kill her.

The destructive desire to break what she loves more and more.

Her love is madness.

The love of the girl with the Red Fox Mask was destruction.

‘For Regina’s sake, and for the safety of others, the brainwashing must be resolved.’

The current Regina is Astaroth’s tool.

Whether she wants to be or not.

She would carry out her orders even if it meant risking her life.

No one knows when the capricious Astaroth will give what kind of order. Even Astaroth herself probably doesn’t know. She’s the incarnation of madness who acts impulsively. Even if it’s disadvantageous to herself, she’s a pleasure devil who does it without hesitation as long as it’s fun.

“Why…”

At that moment, a thin voice was heard.

“…Did you come, here?”

It was a cracked and hoarse voice. It was as bad as her appearance. Fortunately, it wasn’t to the point where I couldn’t understand what she meant. She was still bowing her head like a criminal. I could see her lips trembling beyond her hair. I answered with a bitter smile.

“I told you, I have something important to talk about.”

“…”

“If you don’t mind, can you spare me some time?”

…I feel a little guilty even saying that.

Isn’t that something you say after breaking down the door and barging in?

I’m pretending to ask for permission, but I’m actually forcing her.

But it can’t be helped. Yeah, really. It’s all for Regina. I’ll endure this much contradiction.

“No.”

But it seems Regina has no intention of enduring it.

She refused so firmly that I was embarrassed. Regina said, shrinking her convulsing body. It was a gloomy and desperate voice.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… Don’t ask anything… Just… Please go back…”

“Regina…”

“Forget everything you saw today… Please, I’m begging you…”

She looked small and weak. She was more pathetic than when I first met her. Where did the troublemaker who confidently stole my chocolate go?

I recalled the memories of that day.

The moment the saw blades cut off my limbs.

When my abdomen was torn open and my organs were crushed.

The voice of apology that kept ringing in my ears.

The thin voice that repeated while sobbing.

It wasn’t something she wanted to do, but something she was forced to do because of the brainwashing.

In the end, all the causes were Astaroth’s bad taste.

She didn’t have to be so consumed by guilt.

She could have compromised and passed the blame on to someone else.

Even though she was twisted because of her unfortunate environment, she was still fundamentally good. If she had grown up properly under good parents, she wouldn’t have been assigned to Class D. The bitter smile deepened. I put on a forced smile and spread my arms wide like wings.

“It’s okay.”

I hugged her and patted her back.

Sweat and blood stained her uniform, but I didn’t care.

I regretted that I couldn’t share super-regeneration with others.

If I could share my ability, her wounds would heal quickly.

“It’s okay, Regina.”

What does a child who regrets their mistakes really want?

To agree to their request and actually leave?

To really shut up at their wish not to ask anything?

Yes, half of that is right.

They’re afraid of being blamed.

It’s hard to face their mistakes.

They want to quietly cover it up and hush it up.

Because they want to look away.

Because they want to run away.

Because they want to avoid it.

It hurts to bump into it.

Because it can make the wound worse.

So they want to end the situation without any conflict.

“Everything’s okay.”

But you know.

What a child who has made a mistake truly wants.

What a child who recognizes their sin and is buried in guilt really wants.

Is not to cover up the immediate situation.

“It’s not your fault.”

It’s to be forgiven.

By the object of their guilt.

They want to hear the words, “It’s okay.”

“I don’t resent you.”

“…Huh?”

“Don’t blame yourself. No one is blaming you, so why are you the only one blaming yourself?”

“Lucia…? What, what are you saying…”

Regina stuttered, as if she didn’t understand the situation. She trembled like she was having a seizure. I could hear her teeth chattering. I couldn’t see her face because I was hugging her, but the trembling that was conveyed through the contact told me how she felt.

“You, you knew… You knew…?”

I tried to think hard in my own way.

Regina’s stress was considerable enough to make her self-harm.

I was worried that she might make an extreme choice if the brainwashing was released.

So what should I do?

The solution was surprisingly simple.

It was such a textbook problem that there was no need to worry.

“I, I… You…”

“I told you, it’s not your fault.”

I just had to relieve her guilt.

I just had to forgive her mistakes.

In the first place, I don’t even think it’s a mistake.

It’s something she did because she was brainwashed. Regina had no will in it. A tool deprived of freedom. A doll tied to a string. It’s ridiculous to blame a tool, isn’t it? If you’re going to resent someone, you should resent Astaroth for abusing the tool.

“Regina.”

Rather, she was the victim.

Not a criminal, but a victim of Astaroth’s mischief.

“I’ll say it again. I can say it as many times as you want. Even if you don’t admit it, even if you deny it, even if you don’t understand it, I’ll say it over and over again.”

I patted her back as if comforting a crying child, and stroked her hair with my other hand.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault. I don’t resent you. I don’t blame you. I don’t hate you. But if you still want to be forgiven, I’ll forgive you. I’ll forgive you.”

Honestly, I enjoyed it.

I have nothing but gratitude, let alone resentment.

Mistake or whatever, the premise is wrong from the start.

There’s no reason for me to resent you if there’s nothing to apologize for, is there?

“So, Regina.”

I slowly released the arms I had been holding her with.

I stepped back a little and met her eyes.

I smiled brightly as I looked at the clear tears flowing silently.

“Everything’s okay.”

Even if it’s not okay.

I’ll make it okay.

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
I want to upload it before midnight…

I’m in a slump…

I can’t write… I don’t know.

But since I uploaded it, I should go to bed.

Hehe.

Translator Note

T/NN (Translator’s not so note):
Hello!! It’s another of the translators on the site LegoMyEggo here 2 other stories on here! Have you been enjoying Lucia’s story so far? I know I have, what an exciting life she lives! So full of twists and turns, bodily dismemberment, friendship and so much more.

I’m writing this as of chapter 242 being out so I can’t  wait to see what will have happened in almost 40 more chapters!! How many more limbs will Lucia lose? What will happen to Regina and her insanity?  How will the relationship between Yoo-seong and Lucia develop, will she ever tell him more about Lucille…? Also that cliffhanger with Arin!!! Will Eugene or Alice win? Or will there even be a winner…

Anyways, seeing as you’ve gotten to c281 you MUST like reading right? Right? Right!?!?!?! Well in that case then you should take a look at some other novels translated by our beloved Placeholders!!

I’m gonna shout out 2 of them specifically, as of c242 we have their newest project “I Infiltrated My Fan Gallery Created By The Constellations” a story where we follow a Hunter as she gains access to a fan forum created by the gods that sponsor her and give her abilities!! It’s a fun story with a powerful protagonist if you enjoy that!! Watch as our favorite hunter Reina uses her wits, and pictures of herself, to gain information from the gods above!!

We also have a fun novel as well called “The Gimmick Obsessed Saintess Just Wants To Suffer”, seeing as you enjoy reading Lucia’s adventures you probably like maso characters? In that case Aria will probably be right up your alley! While not as masochistic as Lucia she does give a certain charm to her, a bit more shame, regret and more really spices things up doesn’t it?? If that sounds fun than you should definitely give it a try!!