Ch.27Training (5)

I can sense it even without looking.

The ice bullet flying rapidly toward me.

I can do it without drawing a magical formula in my head.

Even though I lack talent, I’m still a mage of sorts.

I’ve already tried the same spell dozens, no… hundreds of times.

After repeating it this much, even a fool would memorize it.

I’ve understood it perfectly and memorized it completely.

As I ran, I turned my head and stretched out my finger simultaneously.

The ice bullet rushing toward me was following exactly the trajectory I had predicted.

A fox-shaped flame appeared instantly above my palm, using my fingertip as a base to leap powerfully forward.

That fiery beast swallowed the cold bullet.

“It worked…”

The two colliding spells canceled each other out, dispersing only boiling steam into the air.

“Huh.”

“It worked…”

Finally, I succeeded in melting her ice bullet with my magic.

“It worked!!!”

“…Congratulations, Ash.”

“Aaaaaahhhhh, aack!”

I tumbled forward from the momentum of my run.

Fortunately, the ground near the riverbank was soft sand, so I wasn’t badly hurt.

Taking advantage of my fall, I rolled over and lay spread-eagle on the ground, looking up at the sky.

The sense of achievement far outweighed any pain or embarrassment from falling, so I shouted again while lying down.

Silvia approached me and said:

“Ha, are you that happy?”

“Of course… I am.”

“Hmm~”

Silvia half-opened her eyes and slightly raised one corner of her mouth.

The look of mild disdain and snort were just extras.

Of course, her reaction was understandable.

“…Although…”

“…”

“It took me a whole week.”

It had been a full eight days since I nearly died being chased by that bear, and only today did I finally manage to hit and counter her ice bullet as it flew toward me.

Even I found my progress ridiculously slow, but the sense of accomplishment from finally succeeding made my brain feel like it was melting.

But contrary to my mood, Silvia’s expression showed signs of displeasure.

Well, she was the one who had trained me all week.

Perhaps she had been wondering if she should give up on me, seeing no signs of progress.

Though she wouldn’t have explicitly told me to quit after saying things like “Ash, you can do it,” she must have been incredibly frustrated with my terrible lack of talent.

But what did it matter?

I did it in the end.

No matter what Silvia said, this feeling wasn’t going to diminish.

I spoke to Silvia, who was looking down at me with her head tilted.

“Sure, it could be ‘as much as’ a week, but it could also be ‘only’ a week.”

“Hmm-“

“Of course, I know it’s pathetically slow compared to others.”

“…Hmm.”

“But there’s nobody to compare with in this forest anyway. One person taking the test, and Ash is first place. We could just think of it that way.”

“If there’s only one person, you’re also last place, you know?”

“Well, that’s…”

“Hehe, self-satisfaction, is that it?”

“Call it self-satisfaction or mental victory, whatever you like.”

Silvia silently raised her finger and pointed to her nose.

“If you want someone to compare with, I’m right here.”

I sat up and said incredulously:

“Comparing myself to a hero isn’t courage—it’s recklessness.”

“Hmm…”

She glanced at me sideways again.

At that moment, I snapped back without thinking:

“…What?”

Honestly, I felt a bit upset.

Of course, I knew how much she had helped my growth,

But still, couldn’t she offer some words of comfort or encouragement, like “well done” or “I knew you could do it”?

It’s not like I would delude myself into thinking I was great just because she praised me.

I knew better than anyone that it took me a whole week just to block one of her ice bullets.

As if I would show arrogance about my talent or look down on this forest.

I’ve always been harsh in evaluating myself.

I’m not a genius like my sister, nor a hero like Silvia.

I’m just a stupid mage who wanted to enjoy a small moment of success after a week of repeated failures.

“…You could just say ‘well done’ once.”

“…”

Every time she made those “hmm” sounds, I felt like the achievement in my head was deflating little by little.

I asked her sharply:

“What is it? What’s so unsatisfactory?”

“Ash.”

She called my name in a firm voice.

Her cold tone seemed unfamiliar, as if I hadn’t heard it in a long time.

After comforting me warmly throughout my week of failures, was she angry just because I was a little happy about my success?

I stared at her blankly, confused, unable to understand what she was thinking.

My sense of achievement had already settled down along with my mood.

“This wasn’t training to hone your magical skills.”

“…”

“It was training for you to survive in this forest. Remember?”

“…Yes.”

Ah, that’s right.

What was I so happy about?

If I met that bear again now, could I survive?

I couldn’t be certain.

No, saying I couldn’t be certain is a lie.

Without Silvia, I would still easily die at the hands of that bear.

Sure, I could put up a bit more resistance than before, but the ferocious wild animals and vicious monsters roaming the forest were still too much for me to handle.

I could still be considered the weakest living being in this forest.

Stupid fool.

First place because there’s only one person taking the test?

If we’re using the test analogy, this isn’t relative grading but absolute evaluation.

Fail to meet the standard and you’re out.

And in this wilderness testing ground, failing means death.

I scratched my now-calm head.

Even to me, how excited I had been just moments ago seemed ridiculous.

“…I’m sorry, Silvia.”

“…”

I hung my head.

It wasn’t to apologize to her, but because I was too embarrassed to look up, ashamed of my foolish behavior.

Silvia slowly approached me.

She crouched down to meet my eye level and gently began removing the bearskin wrapped around my body.

After a week of being hit countless times by her magic, the bearskin had become tattered.

It had been beaten so much that much of the fur had fallen out, and parts of the skin had deteriorated to a mushy state.

She held the bearskin, now reduced to rags, in silence for a moment before looking at me.

She seemed to be looking at the new bruises that had formed on my body today.

She slowly nodded and spoke:

“I know you worked hard, Ash.”

“…Thank you.”

She finally offered me words of praise, albeit belatedly.

Seeing the bear skin—known for being sturdy and tough—in such a mess seemed to make her feel uncomfortable too.

The amount of time I had devoted to training meant that Silvia had spent just as much time training with me.

I felt deeply ashamed for having snapped at her when she had silently stayed with me for all that time.

Silvia nodded slowly and said:

“You do have a point. Growing this much in a week is certainly remarkable.”

“…It’s all thanks to you, Silvia.”

“But you need to survive in this forest from now on. You can’t easily settle for ‘this is good enough.’ The forest is more dangerous than you think.”

Silvia spoke with a very serious expression.

Now I understood why she had looked so displeased when she saw me rejoicing.

“…I’m sorry.”

Was it a hero’s sense of responsibility,

Or a kind of confidence stemming from faith in her own abilities?

She was fundamentally someone who thought, ‘If others can’t do it, I’ll do it.’

She didn’t really mind if I was clumsy or incapable at something.

Instead, she would smile and handle whatever she could.

But no matter how much of a hero she was, she was not a god.

There were definitely limits to her power… or more precisely, physical limits to her body.

I’m not talking about limits of strength or stamina, but physical limitations.

Obviously, even she couldn’t be in two places at once.

And equally obviously, Silvia couldn’t stay by my side forever.

The reason she was displeased with my sense of achievement today probably stemmed from that frustration.

Thinking this, I deeply reflected on my behavior.

I needed to get stronger quickly.

For her sake, too.

“I understand wanting to feel a sense of achievement.”

“…Yes.”

Silvia dropped the bearskin she had removed from me onto the ground and helped me to my feet by taking my hand.

Then, looking straight into my eyes, she slowly said:

“…Let’s do this.”

“What?”

“From now on, I’m going to test you.”

“…Test?”

I echoed her words without thinking.

Silvia silently nodded and slowly opened her mouth.

*

One week.

In just one week, Ash melted my ice.

Of course, I was controlling my power.

If I had thrown it with full force, there would already be a head-sized hole in Ash’s stomach.

But even so, it’s too fast.

Even with power control, it’s strange that he could track my projectile with his eyes in just a week.

Perhaps this rapid growth is evidence of Ash’s remarkable concentration.

But for some reason, I wasn’t entirely pleased with Ash’s growth.

It was a strange feeling.

It’s not that I didn’t want Ash to get stronger.

If that were the case, I wouldn’t have proposed training in the first place.

The reason I’m training Ash is because of what happened that day when he nearly died from the bear.

Since that bear posed no threat to me, I couldn’t imagine Ash being in danger.

The fear of losing him to some ridiculous accident without my knowledge drove me to train him.

Losing Ash.

It’s something too terrible to even imagine.

Probably the greatest calamity and misfortune I can currently imagine.

If I were to lose Ash, I would surely go mad, slowly waiting for death in this painful solitude.

Or perhaps I would leave this forest and lead this world to destruction.

I might abandon my mission and wish to see this world, saved by the sacrifice of my comrades, burn.

As the Demon King wished.

That’s why I needed to teach him how to protect himself so he wouldn’t be devoured by this cursed forest.

So Ash showing growth faster than I expected should definitely be something to be happy about.

But… what is this feeling?

The feeling that Ash is slipping away from my grasp.

“…But you need to survive in this forest from now on. You can’t easily settle for ‘this is good enough.’ The forest is more dangerous than you think.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Ash, upset by my lukewarm reaction.

Caught off guard by his response, I blurted out whatever came to mind.

And naive, foolish Ash accepted those words.

He pouted and hung his head, his face reddening at my nonsensical words.

He was probably embarrassed by how excited he had been.

Ash looked so foolish, so cute.

No, it’s okay to be excited.

Ash, you were really amazing. Incredible.

I actually wanted to say that and hug him right now.

But I couldn’t do that now.

I couldn’t completely change my attitude after spouting such plausible nonsense just moments ago.

I thought for a moment and came up with an idea.

“I understand wanting to feel a sense of achievement.”

I said that while naturally putting down the bearskin I had been clutching as if I would tear it.

Then I gently helped Ash to his feet.

“…Let’s do this.”

“What?”

“From now on, I’m going to test you.”

“…Test?”

I nodded.

A test.

It was a pretty good idea for something that came up so suddenly.

If Ash fails this test, I can convince him that he still has a long way to go.

I’m not sure why I’m lukewarm about Ash getting stronger.

Perhaps I’m still afraid that Ash will leave me.

Of course, as long as he’s bound by the curse, he won’t leave this forest of his own accord.

But somehow, despite knowing this, I kept feeling like Ash would leave my side.

My side?

Ah.

“…The test is simple.”

I think I just realized what I’m afraid of.

I was subconsciously confusing the fact that he needs to stay in this forest with him needing to stay by my side.

But in reality, Ash doesn’t need to be by my side.

Just like how I’ve lived until now, he just needs to avoid meeting other people.

Of course, there’s a difference—I just need to avoid showing my face to others, while Ash can’t have others enter his field of vision at all, making his condition a bit harder to maintain.

Anyway, Ash just needs to avoid meeting anyone; he doesn’t necessarily have to be with me.

That’s what I’m afraid of.

Once he becomes strong enough to survive in this forest, he can leave me.

He could leave my cabin someday, saying he’ll live alone.

And I couldn’t bear that.

I’m not crazy.

I knew well that the idea of Ash leaving me was just a paranoid delusion created by my dark and excessive imagination.

But there was a big difference between the belief that ‘Ash won’t leave’ and the certainty that ‘Ash can’t leave.’

That difference is called possibility.

If Ash gets stronger, he has every possibility of leaving me.

Hehe, how anxious.

Of course, if we’re talking about possibilities, there’s also the possibility that he might leave the forest entirely to ruin this world.

But Ash would never do that, right?

And Ash leaving me?

How could I imagine that Ash, knowing full well how painful loneliness and isolation are, would seek solitude by leaving me?

Aren’t I worrying too much?

Besides, he’s only just managed to melt one ice bullet.

That’s still a long way off, isn’t it?

No, it’s fine to worry as much as I want.

Anticipate, predict, prepare, and set up multiple layers of plans.

No matter how careful you are, things always deviate from expectations in real situations.

I learned that during my journey to defeat the Demon King.

So, then.

Cut off his legs?

Cut his ankles?

Or just make it so he can’t walk?

It’s the most certain method.

The only way to completely eliminate all possibilities of Ash leaving my side.

You crazy bitch.

Why would you go that far?

What is Ash to you that you’d go to such lengths to keep him by your side?

And who are you to try to hold onto Ash by doing such things?

And logically, if he suddenly had his legs cut off and was confined to the cabin, wouldn’t he try to escape?

Even I would bite my tongue and commit suicide.

Didn’t think about escaping through death, did you?

Fuck, what then?

What should I do?

That’s what the test is for.

“Five shots. Try to melt all the ice I throw.”

“…That’s the test?”

“Yes…”

If Ash fails the test, that’s fine.

He’ll convince himself that he still has a long way to go.

Ah, I still need Silvia’s protection—I need him to realize that.

“…Alright.”

Ash looked at me with red eyes burning with determination, his lips tightly pressed together.

A resolute expression.

What should I do if Ash passes the test?

“But no wearing the bearskin.”

“…Oh, won’t that hurt a lot?”

“Not if you succeed.”

It’s a foolish thought.

I won’t let him pass anyway.