Ch.278IF Side Story: From the Beginning (46)

I had nothing to say to this person.

…No, if I searched for something to say, I’m sure there would be something.

More precisely, it’s closer to me not particularly wanting to have a conversation.

The reason she called for me in that final moment.

I think I understand.

This person was surely worried about me. Of course, I don’t know if she’s my real mother or not.

…It’s probably not an act, right? If it were, there would be no reason to call for me in that final moment.

Even if she’s an employee of Noir Corporation, she wouldn’t know exactly how our circuits work.

If Noir Corporation sent this woman to me, the effect is certainly greater than they could have imagined.

After coming inside, she didn’t say anything either.

In the end, I was the one who spoke first.

“Why did you do that?”

“…”

She probably didn’t expect something like that to happen either.

Her face had turned pale blue. Maybe it became that way because of what I said.

“I…”

As I stared at her silently, she opened her mouth with difficulty.

“Because you were… fighting.”

“Is that why you came looking for me?”

I know. I do know.

This woman is probably my birth mother, or at least someone who truly believes I’m her daughter. So it makes sense that she would come.

If my daughter was fighting alien monsters from space, I’d be worried and go see her too.

I might have called her name just like this woman did.

And if my daughter ended up getting hurt because of me, I’d turn even paler than this.

But still.

As the one on the receiving end, I can’t express how I feel in words. Even if she is my birth mother, she never showed up until now.

“I—”

“…I’m sorry.”

She bowed her head deeply to me as she spoke.

I closed my mouth.

I wanted to lash out at her, but seeing her bow her head like this made my mind freeze.

“Someone who’s never… acted like a mother before… approaching you like this must be confusing.”

She spoke with great difficulty, as if barely gathering courage.

“You probably don’t welcome it.”

“…”

“If my concern… if approaching you like that… If it’s a burden to you, Jieun.”

I opened my mouth slightly.

What should I say?

If I had truly experienced a difficult past, I might have clung to this person claiming to be my mother.

But I didn’t live that kind of life.

I was left in a baby box, but at least I didn’t freeze to death in the middle of winter. There was someone who took care of me as best they could when I was young.

When that person quit their job, I was placed in an orphanage.

Orphanages vary. Some abuse children, and some have terrible facilities, but the orphanage where I stayed wasn’t like that.

The children were generally kind, and the teachers were definitely people who cared for us.

…If asked whether they were like parents, I would answer that they were. Even though I know that’s not exactly true.

There are many children in an orphanage. Too many for just a few teachers to care for. Naturally, the love children receive can’t be the same as what they would get from their biological parents.

The teachers did their best, though.

So when this “mother” says such things, I can’t help but feel certain emotions. Uncomfortable, ticklish feelings.

…

I don’t believe it. As Ju-a said, and as other kids acknowledged the possibility.

The test results haven’t been submitted anywhere yet, and above all, it’s suspicious that the test was done at Noir Corporation—a company that’s the largest in this country and has reach across the galaxy, with plenty of opportunities to interfere.

“…”

I could have asked if I wanted to.

But my mouth wouldn’t move properly.

What if, just what if.

I found myself unconsciously wondering what would happen if this person heard that story and was shocked or burst into tears.

Even if it was an act, it would be too burdensome for me. I’m not… a psychopath, after all.

“If it’s a burden, what do you plan to do?”

The woman’s eyes blinked at my words.

“Are you going to disappear?”

As I stared at her directly, she couldn’t respond. She just hunched her shoulders and bowed her head deeply.

So, she has no intention of disappearing.

“…If I’m going to continue being a magical girl, I might need your consent.”

The woman raised her head at my words.

“If you really are my mother. If we share blood.”

It seems foolish to say this after already seeing the results of a DNA test, but I wanted to make this point clear.

“If you really become my guardian, what will you do about my magical girl work? Can you give your consent?”

“…I—”

“Being a magical girl pays quite well, you know.”

This is true.

I don’t earn as much as a chaebol. It’s not as much as someone who’s worked at a major corporation for decades with numerous achievements.

But it’s at least more than any monthly salary I received in my past life. If we’re talking averages, it’s definitely in the upper tier of incomes.

It’s enough money that someone might target it if they wanted to. I’ve saved almost all of it without spending much.

…If she’s really after the money, she’d want me to continue being a magical girl. The magical girl salary wouldn’t just sit there.

“If it all goes into a bank account, it might be quite helpful, don’t you think?”

When I said that, she stared at me for a while.

Then she bowed her head again, looked at her fingertips, and said quietly.

“That’s not why I wanted to meet you.”

“…”

“And as for the magical girl work… I can earn money myself.”

I closed my eyes at those words.

Ah, I see. This person.

This statement made things even more confusing.

If she was sent by Noir Corporation, it wouldn’t be strange for her to respond this way.

But at the same time, I thought:

…Even if she were my real mother, this response wouldn’t be entirely wrong.

So my thoughts became even more complicated.

*

Hayun and her friends left not long after that woman left.

Only Jihye stayed by my side a little longer before leaving.

The hospital room was a private room.

With the lights off, the room was quiet. I could only hear the sounds I made myself.

I tried to examine and untangle the complicated thoughts in my head.

Barely grasping the ends with my fingertips, I unraveled them one by one.

If that person isn’t my mother…

…Naturally, it wouldn’t matter. Ironically, I thought this would be the most comfortable outcome.

But if she is my mother…

…I don’t know. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t untangle this part.

Should I quit being a magical girl?

Yes. Magical girl. What would happen to my magical girl work?

I… like being a magical girl. Sometimes it gets dangerous, sometimes it hurts, and occasionally I get injured, but it was among those girls that I felt I could accomplish something.

Building relationships and having teammates who trust each other… it was enjoyable.

If someone told me to stop just because they were worried, would I want to listen?

I wouldn’t want to.

But at the same time—yes.

At the same time, I would think that I’ve “become” something.

Because it’s family.

Jihye is like a sister. The teachers are like parents. The other orphanage kids are like siblings.

Even if I try to think of them that way, these quasi-relationships can never be exactly the same as real ones. I would surely… dislike it and like it at the same time.

“…The company played this well.”

What judgment did they make when publishing that article?

Did they think things would roll out this far? Did they realize it would be this effective?

I could only hope they hadn’t thought that far ahead yet.

*

Combatants are weaker compared to magical girls.

Especially for aliens who can’t use circuits, their growth potential is almost non-existent.

Of course, since the emotions that drive Noir Corporation’s circuits are “negative emotions” regardless of specifics, they might not have suited Pang Pang from the beginning.

“…”

But Pang Pang still worked as a combatant.

There was no special reason—there just weren’t many good jobs available for aliens without special qualifications.

In other words, it pays quite well. Because it’s physical work.

Today, Pang Pang didn’t really want to go to work.

It was because of the news that the magical girl, Happy Lily, had been seriously injured.

Pang Pang didn’t know how she felt about it. They met occasionally and had quite pleasant conversations, but there’s a difference between how a celebrity might consider Pang Pang a friend and how Pang Pang might consider a celebrity a friend.

It wasn’t some grand reason like not going because she couldn’t fight Lily.

Rather, she just didn’t feel like it.

“…Hmm.”

But in the end, Pang Pang responded to the call.

After all, it pays quite well.

To cover this month’s living expenses and create some emergency funds, she needed to take at least one more job.

“…”

For a moment, she thought about jokingly asking the magical girls how Lily was doing.

That wouldn’t be possible. Lily—that is, Jieun—didn’t know that Pang Pang was a combatant.

…Noir Corporation implementing their plan immediately after just one magical girl was taken out. And Pang Pang responding to that plan by rushing out.

“…Maybe I should look for another job.”

Feeling self-loathing, Pang Pang left her home.