Ch.278Chapter 278. How to Take Both

Thump, thump.

My heart was pounding so violently it felt like it might burst out.

This moment made me more nervous than any other moment in my life.

Even more than… that day long ago when I stood alone on the city wall, appearing to everyone as if I had summoned the meteor.

Serpina, as if she had completely understood my feelings—

Once again, conveyed her sentiments not as a ruler, but as a woman.

“I… don’t know much about these things.”

“What actions of a woman come across as attractive, how to approach someone to fully convey these feelings… things like that.”

“By the time I came of age, the empire was falling apart. Learning proper etiquette as an imperial princess or how a woman should behave was out of the question. So, I don’t really know how to act around men…”

Saying that, she took my hand and gently caressed it.

From the tips of my fingers to the knuckles… her snow-white touch violated my hand like a trespass.

“But… these feelings are real.”

“Swen, this desire to become one with you is clearer than anything else.”

“So… this is all I know. Men like women’s bodies. So, if you could just like that much about me, that would be enough…”

Her fingers slipped between mine.

As our fingers interlocked, I noticed her looking up at me again.

Her pale face was flushed crimson, as if about to burst.

Her eyes darted around, not knowing where to settle.

From between her slightly parted lips came a thin, gasping sound.

“Swen, if you want… yes. It’s okay.”

“No, I’ll be honest. It’s not that I’d be fine with just anyone. It’s because it’s you, Swen. I don’t need a man. I… need you, Swen.”

“This isn’t an order from your ruler. I won’t ask you to take responsibility for anything. I won’t force anything upon you. I’ll bear all responsibility myself. So… please, could you… lend yourself to me… just for a moment…?”

“My lord…”

Apparently, she was far more sincere than I had thought.

This wasn’t an action born from momentary impulse.

What was Serpina saying right now?

It would be a lie if I said I didn’t understand.

She was… requesting a night with me.

Why would she suddenly make such a request? Because of desires that humans couldn’t possess?

That might be part of it—but the emotion I read in her eyes told me she wasn’t approaching me simply out of desire.

Loneliness.

What lingered in her golden eyes was a deep, suffocating loneliness.

I quietly asked myself:

What do you really want?

Though I had a body with poor stamina, I was still a young man. My essential nature hadn’t changed from my previous world to this one.

I naturally felt attraction toward women.

I’d had inappropriate thoughts before. No, until just moments ago… hadn’t I almost fantasized about Irene?

From that perspective alone, Serpina’s proposal of “spend time with me without taking responsibility” would be an incredibly attractive offer.

Whether it was a request or an order wouldn’t matter at that point.

Serpina possessed beauty beyond any woman I had ever met.

Her feminine body with its intense allure, her voice that seemed to wrap around my ears, and the citrus scent that naturally tied everything together.

I was certain few men would refuse to spend a night with such a woman.

Yes.

If I thought about it ‘only’ from that perspective.

But now, I couldn’t think about it only from that perspective.

“…Lady Serpina.”

I slowly released our clasped hands and placed both of my hands on her shoulders.

It might have been considered extremely disloyal for a subject to touch his lord’s body—

But if Serpina approached me as a woman, I believed it was respectful to approach her as a man, not as a subject.

Yes.

I should calmly tell her what I’m thinking.

“I’m sorry, but I cannot grant your request right now.”

“…!”

At my words, her expression crumbled as if she might cry at any moment.

That a woman who usually hid her emotions so well would show such intense feelings at my single statement… was honestly quite endearing.

“So… this body of mine is not acceptable…?”

“Are you saying that a tyrant like me cannot pursue the happiness of an ordinary woman…?”

“That’s not it.”

I gently wiped the corner of her eye with my hand.

I wondered what had happened while I was gone to make her this vulnerable… but that was something I could think about later.

“If Lady Serpina weren’t important to me, I might have accepted your proposal. You said you don’t know what men like… but honestly, assuming one ignores your widely known infamy, there are few men who would dislike you. You’re extremely beautiful, very feminine, and incredibly charming. From a man’s perspective, there’s no reason to refuse such an offer.”

Her eyes widened in real-time at my words.

She looked almost like a cat.

“But I don’t want to spend a responsibility-free night with Lady Serpina. If we were to share such a time… I would want to take responsibility. For you. So, I cannot grant your request right now.”

“What… does that mean…?”

“It means that Lady Serpina is extremely important to me. Too important to treat casually.”

“…!!”

That’s right.

The third face that came to mind so naturally when I thought about marriage.

It was… Lady Serpina.

At some point, I had begun to think of Lady Serpina whenever the keyword “marriage” came up.

Unlike Irene, with whom I had confirmed mutual feelings, or Reika, with whom I had discussed marriage.

She was just my ruler.

I had never felt this way about any ruler I had served before.

I think it started as sympathy.

But even when Lady Lunarian raised her army, I couldn’t bring myself to return there willingly. The plan had gone awry.

The conclusion that “Serpina must maintain her position as ruler for Lunarian to unify the continent” became an excellent excuse.

To keep my promise, staying by Lady Serpina’s side seemed like the right answer for now. Since she relied on me, it would be okay to stay here until Lady Luna established herself. Ginor would be there too, so it wouldn’t matter if I was absent for a while…

I wonder if I desperately came up with these thoughts to unconsciously rationalize the situation.

“But… Swen. You will, someday…”

“That’s right.”

Nevertheless, because these feelings are genuine.

I nodded slowly as I spoke.

“I can’t stay by your side forever. But… it’s true that Lady Serpina has become important to me.”

“…”

“Honestly, I don’t know what to do right now. But I think if I keep thinking about it, I’ll find a way. A way to take responsibility for Lady Serpina while also doing what I need to do.”

“Take responsibility for me…?”

“Yes.”

I want to claim her only when I can fully take responsibility for her.

It might sound foolish, but it’s sincere.

A way to take responsibility for everyone while keeping my promise to Lady Luna…

“So, until then… could you wait just a little longer?”

Serpina stared into my eyes for a long time without speaking, then:

“…I understand.”

After saying that, she buried her head in my chest again.

Both Lady Irene and Lady Serpina… I thought it seemed like they both secretly enjoyed being held.

I slowly stroked her golden hair.

Serpina, without resistance, entrusted her entire self to me.

Seeing her like this, I naturally thought:

Indeed.

I can’t leave Lady Serpina behind. No matter what happens.

From the moment I thought about marriage, this feeling was more than simple sympathy.

I can’t abandon her, who is hated by everyone for crimes she didn’t commit.

—Even if it means not returning.

For a moment, Lady Luna’s face flashed through my mind.

Lady Lunarian. The ruler I should rightfully serve as a subject.

Is there really a reason I must choose only one of them?

No matter how many times I think about it, there isn’t.

‘Let’s find a way.’

My predictions always come true, but different actions could lead to different outcomes.

If I could create a situation where Lady Serpina and Lady Lunarian could coexist.

If that could defy fate… I would gladly do so.

After that, I spent a long time holding Lady Serpina in my arms.

We couldn’t return to the welcome ceremony… but for now, just being with her like this was more than enough.

* * *

A few days passed after the welcome ceremony.

The positions of Lishfalt, who had achieved great merit, and Reika, who had continuously left significant marks, had grown beyond comparison to anyone else in the country.

The plague that had threatened to devour everyone in the Central Continent had completely subsided. At least now, there was no need to cut off travel due to concerns about the plague.

Naturally, the blockade to the Northern Continent was also somewhat reduced. While not as many people freely traveled between the Northern and Central Continents through Kelstein Castle as before, at least simple procedures allowed for travel.

Everything was gradually returning to its original state.

The only difference was one thing: while our army still maintained a powerful military, the nations of the Central Continent, except for the Brans army, had all gone to ruin.

What remained then was—reentry into the Central Continent.

Once again, the time for battle was steadily approaching.