Ch.27390. It Might Be That Kind of Warmth (2)

“Um, well… that is….”

Rubbing her cold hands, Sylphia stammered, unable to properly string her words together.

She had never been good with words, but perhaps now that the moment had ripened, she simply couldn’t discern what to say.

“……”

On the path toward the Brendiar mansion.

The darkened sky was gradually brightening, but it was still dim and gloomy.

Yet somehow, it felt brighter and clearer than the evening when the sun was setting.

“Um, the two of them… have been… waiting… for a long time.”

“……”

It wasn’t easy to speak up.

He must have harbored resentment toward them, and it couldn’t be said that those feelings had improved or dissipated by now.

Even Sylphia had heard bits and pieces of news, though not much.

Even that was unclear and full of uncertainties.

In fact, she suddenly found herself thinking that perhaps the others didn’t know much about the young master either.

“Are you comfortable where you’re staying?”

“Ah, yes, yes. Everyone is… kind. They’re considerate and…”

“I see.”

…….

The conversation broke off.

More precisely, Sylphia was the one trying to hold onto the thread of conversation.

Though their steps were unbearably slow, somehow the familiar path kept catching her eye.

The mansion was just ahead now.

…Sylphia sensed it.

That her accompaniment with him would end precisely there.

She instinctively felt that he would not enter the mansion with her.

“……”

Finally.

It came into view in the distance.

Faintly visible, the top of the mansion and the surrounding wall that seemed to hide it.

The very wall he used to climb over repeatedly during his academy days.

Back then, he would scale the wall effortlessly, like a flying bird or a squirrel climbing trees.

“……”

As if by agreement, as if her feet were bound,

She stopped in place.

As if that was as far as they would go.

“You’ll… come in… with me… right?”

“……”

Though she knew the answer was no.

She couldn’t help but ask.

Couldn’t help but urge him.

After all,

“That place is… your… home… isn’t it?”

“……”

When had it started?

When had he become so taciturn?

Not long before he left.

He had grown strangely quiet.

Even his frequent irritation and neurotic outbursts.

They had disappeared at some point.

…Had that been an ominous sign?

He began causing problems indiscriminately.

But those problems might have been his struggles, because he couldn’t shout out the grievances and injustices he harbored at the top of his lungs.

For Sylphia, who had watched him all along, rather than feeling fear or considering him frightening…

…She felt pity.

…She felt sorrow.

“……”

But she couldn’t do anything.

Now, as then… she remained unchanged.

Perhaps she herself was the coward.

Forcibly clinging to the hope of wanting to be helpful.

When she actually needed to be, she couldn’t… how cowardly and narrow-minded she was…

“That’s what it means to be human.”

“…Pardon?”

“People don’t change.”

He said.

“To change, you must kill yourself day by day.”

To bid farewell to yesterday’s self.

You must kill yesterday’s self.

Even to part with today’s self.

You must surely kill and erase today’s self.

The reason yesterday’s inadequate self, today’s lazy self… lives on as tomorrow’s nobody, is nothing else.

“But that’s an incredibly difficult task.”

As Kariel, if not for the Demon King of Wisdom, he would never have been able to kill himself, to continue killing himself.

Thus, unchanged, he would have declined, settling for reality…

As he aged, he would have increasingly established his position as the incompetent child of a hero, knowingly or unknowingly.

Even if he hated it, even if he despised it so much.

Being weak and lazy, he would have lacked the strength, will, and even courage to shed that shell.

“……”

“Young master. I…”

“It’s not your fault. Most people live that way.”

Even the drunkards he saw earlier.

Someone’s wife, someone’s husband.

And even their children.

To shed the yoke, the shell one is born with.

It’s truly nearly impossible.

Desperate will.

Earnest desire.

Clear sense of purpose.

Unwavering plan.

And longing.

And desperation.

…One alone is not enough.

But even with all those, if the conditions to express and demonstrate them aren’t provided.

Even that would be meaningless.

“I was lucky.”

Perhaps I clearly had the qualifications, talent, and perseverance.

But if I hadn’t encountered gold.

I would have continued to rot.

Not even knowing I was rotting, I would have lamented my rotting self.

Knowingly or unknowingly loving my rotting self, I would have adorned myself as the protagonist of a tragedy.

Perhaps, despite that, things might have worked out.

If Elhermina had pulled me out, as they say a man is shaped by a woman, if she were wise, she might have guided me well.

Or perhaps another choice, another ending might have been given.

Of course, my will and subjectivity wouldn’t have been included in that.

All our lives, we’re dragged along, dragged along.

Until we become corpses.

Never once free in a lifetime.

The given environment, constantly pulling on the leash it had placed.

That’s how it would have led me.

“So, don’t worry too much.”

“……”

“It’s different from before. Even the pain, at this point, was my will.”

Therefore.

“You don’t need to worry at all.”

“Young… master.”

“You have a family to support, don’t you? And there’s my younger sibling too.”

It’s different from before.

Even that has now become a distant memory.

“You weren’t wrong. So don’t concern yourself with unnecessary matters.”

“No, no. Even so, I… the kindness I received from you…”

“I am your former master. Now, you should be loyal to your current master who supports you. That’s the right thing to do.”

“But it was you who guided me here…”

“Don’t mind it. It’s in the past, and I’ve already paid the price.”

“Young master!”

She called out forcefully.

But he remained motionless, quietly examining the wall and the glimpse of the mansion, then let out a small sigh.

“Then, farewell.”

“Ah…”

“There probably won’t be a next time in this life. So let go of any lingering attachment to me, and focus on your role.”

With that, he slowly turned to leave.

“Wait a moment!”

As if her voice had just broken free, she called out desperately.

…But she couldn’t bring herself to reach out and hold him back.

If that was his choice.

How could she stand in his way?

If she had, on that day when he first tried to leave the mansion, she would have clung to his legs to prevent him from leaving.

In the end, even she had something else that was precious.

Her priority was, after all, her family.

Perhaps there was still the option to follow him even now.

But…

“Please…”

Because he had said so.

Her family, and Young Master Elimion.

And the others as well…

She simply lacked the courage to abandon them.

Being such a coward, she ultimately chose to settle without being able to choose.

No matter how desperate her words and thoughts were.

In the end, her legs didn’t know how to escape from there.

“At least once…”

“……”

He paused briefly, turned his head slightly, and said,

“This is as far as it goes.”

“……”

“Take care.”

As he was about to leave after saying that,

Sylphia, sensing an unknown gaze, turned her head back.

And she saw.

In the distance.

A woman in simple indoor clothes, barefoot, having left the main gate, circling around the wall, finally casting her gaze in this direction.

“……”

Hurriedly turning her head forward again.

By then, he had already…

Vanished.

As if nothing had ever existed there from the beginning.

Nothing was visible around the desolate path.

“I…”

I’m sorry for being a coward.

Because I’m a coward… really… really…

Sylphia sank down unconsciously.

Her light brown eyes welled up with moisture.

But she couldn’t even bring herself to cry sorrowfully.

She felt she didn’t deserve to.

She didn’t want to wash away or release it through tears and crying.

So she didn’t close her eyes until the end.

Fearing that if she did, the moisture would trickle down her eyelids, inadvertently flowing down.

====

It’s not an illusion.

This isn’t a dream either.

I saw it clearly.

It wasn’t entirely clear, but there was something that made me want to believe it.

“Is that the child?”

I approached the sitting child as if entranced and asked.

“……”

As if entranced.

But the child, with a flushed face as if about to burst into tears at any moment, was trying hard to hold back.

“……”

Ermina, embracing the seated Sylphia, was preoccupied with comforting her for a while.

“Madam. Your feet…”

Sylphia belatedly mentioned it.

“……”

Ermina truly, truly didn’t mind.

The coldness in her feet was really nothing.

Since childhood, the sensation of her feet growing cold and freezing had been so common and frequent.

Nevertheless, concerned by the worried expression on the child’s face, she somehow managed to return to the mansion.

“…Did that child come?”

“…Yes.”

A weak voice.

“And yet, he didn’t come all the way here…”

How could he so coldly turn away?

Why go to such lengths…

“……”

Struggling to control her roughening breath, Ermina asked again.

“What did that child say?”

“……”

Sylphia hesitated and wavered.

Finally, as if she had no choice… she replied softly.

“He said… farewell. And that… this meeting would be the last in this life.”

Her heart sank, but.

Ermina closed her eyes tightly, biting her lip firmly, somehow suppressing the surging emotions.

“I see…”

Silence descended.

Then, out of concern for Sylphia, Ermina urged her to go and have some time alone to process her feelings.

“……”

Step by step.

At some point, light was streaming in from outside the window.

When had it started?

As if entranced, she had left the mansion, walked through the garden, and headed outside the main gate.

Until then, she hadn’t even known why she was doing so.

That back view.

That faint figure, only upon seeing it did she realize.

I didn’t want to miss it.

Though I thought otherwise, I had been expecting and preparing for this moment all along.

But.

Even that, without any meaning.

It flowed away.

It departed.

It disappeared.

“……”

Perhaps, just once, there might be a chance.

She had prayed and prayed continuously.

…Oh God.

Is this truly the trial you expect of me, that I should overcome and endure?

“……”

Having returned to her bedroom, she felt so lethargic that no thoughts, no feelings.

Truly nothing, nothing came to mind or was felt.

Blankly, she let time pass.

Until the moment her second son came knocking on the door to pay his respects.

She had been lying there like a corpse, without a moment or chance to feel, realize, or experience emotions like tears, sorrow, regret, or pity.

Yet her mind was so clear.

If only she had fallen asleep.

If only… if only…

…….

………

====

“I was insufficient. I’m sorry.”

At the same time.

In a guest room at the Imperial Palace.

In a bedroom prepared there, Tronel, having just opened his eyes, was handing over the three holy relics he had been entrusted with to Rueld.

“…No. How could that be your fault? It’s due to my lack of virtue.”

Only now am I gradually realizing how remarkable that child has become.

Truly, the boy is determined to defeat his father.

Was he that resentful?

Or was I that much…

“……”

His wavering consciousness regains its center.

Under no circumstances should he collapse or waver.

If you fall, everything will crumble.

So, you must not waver.

While the whole world sits down, you alone must stand firmly on your two feet.

…That is my request and my last will to you.

You can do that much, can’t you?

My proud comrade?

“……”

Yes.

I haven’t forgotten.

I am still with you all.

“You’ve worked hard. From now on, I’ll handle it.”

“My strength was insufficient, and I’m only sorry. Perhaps Kariel could have been… like a younger brother to me too.”

“……”

Rueld nodded slightly, then attached the dagger to his waist.

The bracelet to his wrist.

Finally, the brooch to his chest.

Thus, he reunited with the holy relics he had once relied upon.

“……”

The current him was even more powerful than when he had simultaneously wielded the divine sword and the holy relics, than when he had slain the great Demon King of Wisdom.

Even with just the divine sword at that time.

Yet he had come to receive these back again.

Does that mean the trial to come is not to be taken lightly?

“Rest well.”

Someone once said, I don’t remember who, that a father’s greatest trial is not a demon king or a wife, but his own child.

“……”

How ironic that the statement would come true in such an unexpected way.

That drunkard might have been a great sage.

Just after leaving the room, Patina, who had been waiting, spotted him and reflexively saluted.

“Go in.”

“Yes. Then… excuse me.”

Watching Patina enter the room as if replacing him, Rueld closed the door quietly from outside in the corridor.

“It’s not easy. Not easy at all.”

When had it started?

Truly, when had it begun?

I have no idea.

Now I really… don’t know anything.

Not a single thing.