Chapter 268

Ｒｅａｄ ｏ​ｎ ＫａｔＲｅａｄｉｎ​ｇＣ​ａｆｅ

Ah, so, um…

Like, well, hehehe…

…Okay, first, let’s regain our composure and retrace the course of events!

To solve a problem, you need to know the cause, right?

The start of all this was probably when Arin caught me trying to hang myself. I tied the rope tightly in an Evans knot style, diligently learned from a book. I checked the knot several times to make sure it wouldn’t come undone. Then, I hung the rope from the ceiling, stepped onto a chair, and put the noose around my neck.

No, I was going to.

Why did Arin have to barge in at that exact moment?

There was no room for excuses.

Anyone could see I was about to make an extreme choice.

Looking back, I should have cleared up the misunderstanding then and there.

But Arin seemed too agitated.

It didn’t seem like she would listen.

And I hadn’t yet decided to confess the truth.

So, I put off clearing up the misunderstanding. At the time, I thought it was a reasonable decision, but looking back, it was just avoiding the problem and running away. I overlooked Arin’s emotional distress. If I had dealt with it right away when she caught me (not!) attempting suicide, things wouldn’t have gotten this tangled, right?

Reflect on this, past me.

Because I didn’t nip it in the bud.

Because I vaguely postponed it for later.

The seed of misunderstanding sprouted and grew rapidly.

My secretly self-harming actions, giving it fertilizer and water, were a bonus.

…Seriously, reflect, past Lucia.

Eventually, the seed bore fruit.

Not only Arin, but even Eugene and Alice started misunderstanding.

I belatedly realized that the situation was spiraling out of control.

To solve the problem now, I tried to confess my hidden nature… but I fainted from Belial’s counterattack. Bleeding in front of Alice. Ugh, what’s with this push and pull tactic? If I had subdued Belial sooner, this wouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake not to rush because I knew Belial was half-corrupted.

Wow, it’s all my fault.

If it’s all my fault so perfectly, I can’t blame anyone else.

Well, I didn’t intend to blame anyone else from the start, but…

Somehow, I managed to handle the Belial time bomb and honestly revealed the truth in front of the three of them.

“Actually, Lucia is a masochist.”

“I like pain. I like getting hurt. I really like being wounded.”

“I want to be broken. I want to be shattered. I want to be used like a tool.”

At the root of my desires is an insane desire for destruction.

The peaceful rest that Lucille, trapped in eternal time, yearned for.

…In a way, maybe I am suicidal. Huh? Wait a minute. That’s different, right? Lucille wanted to commit suicide, and Lucia inherited that feeling and became a masochist, but I don’t intend to die.

Anyway, I thought this would solve the situation.

Everything stemmed from misunderstanding, so resolving the misunderstanding would end it all.

Of course, the result was completely different. No one believed me. They dismissed it as a lie and didn’t listen.

I knew they wouldn’t easily believe me if I suddenly said, “Actually, Lucia is a masochist~” I knew that much.

But I didn’t expect them to react so strongly. I thought they would understand if I showed them some self-harm.

I tried to show proof, but they stopped me.

They just looked at me with complicated eyes.

That’s when I realized.

I was being too naive.

That everything would be solved just by revealing that I’m a maso.

That everyone would understand and accept me if I confessed my true feelings.

I was interpreting the situation optimistically without any proper basis.

Everything I had done came back like a boomerang.

Okay, now I’ve identified the cause.

Then, all that’s left is the solution.

What’s the way to unravel the layers of misunderstanding?

The best way is to destroy the foundation of the misunderstanding.

Unfortunately, that failed.

That’s why I’m in this situation, isn’t it?

I’m a maso! I’m a maso! Why don’t you believe me?!

If the best isn’t possible, then the next best.

Should I do a naked dogeza…?

Lucia is a livestock below human standards.

Clothing is for humans to wear.

It’s too much for Lucia, who is just a livestock.

I should return to my original form and swear allegiance…

…The moment I do that, there’s no turning back. Yes, I know.

Uwaaah, what should I do?

Mom, if you’re watching, please help me!

Both the best and the next best are blocked!

At this rate, Lucia’s dream will fly away!

My future aspiration to give up my human rights and become a golden retriever…!

“Hmm? You’re awake?”

Just then, someone suddenly walked into the infirmary.

It was a mysterious woman wearing a pure white gown.

She put her hands in the pockets of her gown and made the sound of heels clicking.

She half-opened her black eyes and scanned me as if observing me.

“The school nurse…”

I know her face because I often see her as an academy student.

Theresa. A person who retired from active duty due to an irrecoverable injury and became a school nurse.

In her prime, she was a skilled person comparable to a captain, but now she is a tiger without teeth.

Don’t be fooled by her young-looking appearance. Despite her looks, she is a hero who was active in the generation before the current captains.

She was also a school nurse when Si-ul, the assistant teacher, was still a student, and she was the homeroom teacher when Karma, the 4th division captain, was a student.

Supernaturals age slower than ordinary people, but it was really unbelievably youthful.

Well, not as much as my brother, though.

Yoo-seong has been living with the appearance of a boy for over 150 years.

“It’s good timing. You have no problem moving around, right? Your body is fine.”

“Ah, yes. But, um…?”

“Follow me.”

The explanation is insufficient. What’s going on all of a sudden? But I had no intention of refusing. I had a reason to escape the suffocating atmosphere.

When I nodded, Theresa turned around without hesitation. She looked around and spoke to the three of them.

“Good work. Leave the rest to me. You guys go back to class… um, no, nevermind. Just rest here. After all, the 1st year curriculum is meaningless for your level.”

She was right.

Eugene had reached the level of a captain in terms of combat power, and Alice was aiming for more than a vice-captain.

Arin was clearly behind the other two, but that’s because the comparison was with Eugene and Alice.

Missing just one class wasn’t a big deal.

It wouldn’t be bad to gather your thoughts here since everyone must be feeling troubled.

“Hehehe… um, then see you later…”

I waved awkwardly and started walking after Theresa.

Haa, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

I thought it would be resolved with laughter, but…

Where did it all go wrong?

Ah, it was from the beginning.

◈

The infirmary where Lucia had left.

A deathly silence descended.

No one dared to open their mouths. Only a desolate atmosphere, as if a storm had swept through, weighed heavily.

Eugene stared down at the stolen fountain pen, clenching his teeth, and Arin sat on the bed, staring blankly at the broken door. Alice stared blankly at the floor.

When she lowered her head, her blue hair flowed down like a waterfall. Red eyes flickered faintly between the blue strands.

“…Hah.”

A dry laugh broke the silence.

The stillness that seemed to last forever lost its form.

A red glow was cast over the infirmary, which had been frozen like ice.

“Fucking hell.”

Kwang!

Before anyone could stop her, Alice’s fist slammed into the wall. It was too much to handle Alice’s strength, even though it was the main building of the academy, which was designed to be sturdy.

The wall that was smashed in one blow crumbled like powder. It was an impulsive action. And it was a completely unhelpful action.

Instead of feeling refreshed, she felt even more frustrated.

Alice… no, Frey glared at the cracked wall. Her fist trembled with an unbearable impulse. She wanted to destroy everything. She wanted to unleash all the hot flames that had formed in her chest.

But she endured. She had to endure. A single thread of patience barely suppressed Frey’s impulse.

“That kind of… fucking hell, you expect us to believe that kind of bullshit…”

“Alice…?”

Arin’s surprised eyes were directed at her, but Frey didn’t care at all.

She couldn’t suppress her current emotions with other people’s gazes.

“What the hell is that? How stupid does she think we are?!”

Did she really think we’d believe that nonsense?

What? She likes pain? She wanted to be strangled until she suffocated?

It’s so absurd that it’s not even funny.

I tried to laugh, but only the sound of air escaping came out.

If I couldn’t laugh, I tried to get angry instead, but that wasn’t easy either.

“How much… how much does she…”

Her throat was blocked.

Frey remembered Lucia from a moment ago.

What was her intention in saying such nonsense?

It’s obvious. It was for us. To ease our worries and guilt.

“…Who would believe… that kind of thing…”

Nonsense that no one would believe.

Nonsense that anyone could tell was a lie.

Lucia was seriously saying that kind of nonsense.

That means she thought it would work in her own way.

Lucia was so cornered that she made that judgment.

It’s not even funny.

I didn’t know at all.

I was always by her side.

I was always next to her.

Even this morning, I didn’t know.

That Lucia was having such a hard time.

That she was so exhausted that she couldn’t even think straight.

“I… nothing…”

Emotions are boiling.

The supernatural power fluctuated.

A hot red light illuminated the infirmary.

The heat rises. The air is heated.

“Alice.”

Eugene said quietly.

I don’t care. Frey didn’t react. No, she couldn’t. She was exhausted just holding on to her breaking patience. If she let go of the tension even for a moment, not only the infirmary but also the main building of the academy would be destroyed without a trace.

“Look at me, Alice.”

Did he realize that fact?

Eugene called Frey again. Again, she didn’t react. The red light became clearer. The smell of blood brushed the tip of her nose. Frey clenched her fist. This won’t work. She couldn’t control her emotions.

Should I switch with Alice… no, Alice’s emotions were fluctuating as much as my own. Even if I handed over control of the body to Alice now, nothing would change. It would only make Alice suffer instead…

“Ali… no, Frey.”

“Huh?”

This time, I couldn’t ignore it.

Frey raised her head blankly. Did I hear wrong? Didn’t he just call me Frey? There’s no way Eugene would know that name…?

Blood droplets dripped. Frey belatedly realized the source of the blood smell. It was Eugene. His palm was covered in blood. He had stabbed the fountain pen he had taken from Lucia into the back of his hand. Blood droplets hung from the pen nib that had pierced his hand.

“Calm down.”

“You…”

I wondered why it was so quiet.

Was he maintaining his composure with pain?

Just because you have super regeneration like Lucia doesn’t mean you can use your body carelessly.

“Getting angry won’t change anything. It won’t solve anything either.”

It’s not too late to blame yourself later.

It’s too early to be buried in guilt right now.

She asked for help.

Although it was a murmur, she clearly said to help.

Then, now is not the time to waste emotions in vain.

For her sake.

To protect Lucia’s smile.

What can I do now?

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
Sleepy…

The weekend is already over…

I have to wake up early tomorrow too, so I’m going to bed!

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
The mentally ill woman was caught as a mentally ill person! Oh no!