Ch.262Chapter 262 – A Prayer for Oneself

Kara, who had been lying on the bed, quietly rose.

After being dazed for a while, she soon drew her knees together and buried her face in them.

‘I’ve been abandoned.’

Even when she prayed, sacred power wouldn’t gather.

Even when she prayed, God did not answer.

Kara’s body was limp from this realization.

‘Where did I go wrong?’

She had moved according to God’s commands.

She had acted in a way that wouldn’t shame God.

But what was the result?

In the end, she was defeated by heretics.

And then, incurring God’s wrath, her body was taken from her.

And ultimately…

“Lord Emiris.”

How could you abandon me?

-Knock knock

Suddenly, there was a knocking sound at the door.

“I’m coming in.”

Kara deliberately didn’t answer.

Eventually, when the door opened, a familiar face appeared.

‘She’s here again.’

It was the blonde nun who came every day.

And today, it seemed there was another visitor.

‘A heretic.’

One of those beings she had tried to kill following Lord Emiris’s command.

‘…Why does she look so gloomy?’

Kara wondered, seeing the blonde nun’s dejected expression.

As for the heretic, he seemed to be trying to comfort the nun, as if he had done something wrong.

Of course, with each attempt, the nun’s face only grew darker.

‘She’s… shrunk?’

Somehow, what had been full before was suddenly flat.

The once abundant hills on her upper body were gone, leaving only a desolate wasteland.

‘So that’s it.’

She could roughly guess what tragedy had occurred.

Though she was now spending her days in a daze on the bed, she had once been a saint of a religious order.

She had noticed long ago what the nun was doing with her sacred power.

Of course, out of courtesy, she had pretended not to notice…

‘Oh my.’

Kara slightly turned her head away when she saw the other person’s expression brighten upon seeing her.

For some reason, that nun always had a bright face when talking to her.

‘I wonder why.’

Kara was secretly pleased to see that smiling face.

For reasons she couldn’t understand, Kara felt an inexplicable familiarity with the nun.

While confused by this strange sense of kinship—as if seeing a long-lost relative—Kara had to admit that thanks to her, she had become much more mentally stable during her stay here.

Of course, she couldn’t say this openly, so she kept it hidden.

She still had unresolved feelings.

“You’ve been in a daze every day, but you’ve finally come to your senses.”

“……”

“How are you feeling?”

“……”

Kara didn’t answer.

“Her condition is serious.”

“Of course. It’s like she’s been betrayed by everything she believed in.”

The nun spoke as if she understood.

At the nun’s words, Kara, who had intended to maintain her silence, unconsciously muttered:

“…Do you know how it feels to be denied?”

“Kara?”

Kara raised her face, realizing she had made a mistake.

She had meant to stay quiet, but the words had slipped out.

But it was too late; the words had already left her mouth.

Since it had come to this, she might as well speak her mind.

“…Do you know how it feels to be denied by God?”

“Kara.”

“I lived my entire life for Him. I worked for Him.”

Kara began to pour out her grievances.

“And yet, this is what happened to me in the end.”

Forcibly having her body taken.

Forcibly made to fight.

Abandoned.

“…Who would have known that at the end of faith, there would be abandonment?”

Kara muttered weakly.

Then, glaring at the nun who was looking at her with concerned eyes, she said:

“How could you possibly understand my feelings?”

“I won’t dare claim to empathize.”

The nun carefully took her hand and said:

“Kara’s pain belongs to Kara. If I, an outsider, were to claim empathy with mere words, I would only be deceiving you.”

“Then get—”

“But… well, I do have similar experiences.”

The nun said with a smile.

“Did you know? …Lady Evgenia is said to have passed away.”

“What nonsense is this? How could a god…”

“She’s gone. It’s certain.”

Kara looked at the nun with suspicious eyes for a moment.

Then she spoke with anger:

“That’s blasphemy.”

“…Indeed. At first glance, it sounds like blasphemy.”

The nun said with a smile.

“But it’s the truth. …And believe it or not, when I first learned this fact, I fainted.”

Kara didn’t bother to stop her.

Thinking this was madness, she decided to just keep listening.

“…From the moment the church took me in when I was abandoned in the slums, I believed and followed her. When I realized that the one I had followed was no longer in this world, that the prayers I had offered were meaningless, and that praying for her in the future would be meaningless too… it becomes unbearable, you know? Everything goes dark. And also…”

The nun began to talk about various things.

And then.

“…The strongest thought I had at that time was a sense of emptiness—what becomes of the life I’ve lived for her?”

“Is that so.”

“Honestly, at that moment, I denied it. I denied it again and again.”

But, the nun said with a smile:

“In the end, I came to know it was the truth. And I also realized that my thinking had been foolish.”

“Foolish?”

“Yes. Foolish thinking.”

The nun held Kara’s hand and said:

“Even if she is no longer here.”

The nun spoke quietly.

“The moments I lived for her were never worthless or meaningless.”

“Why is that?”

“Because all the moments I spent praying for her became my flesh and bones.”

The nun said with a smile.

“Because I lived for her, I was able to repay the kindness to my family at the church. Because I lived for her… I met precious people.”

Kara listened to those words in a daze.

“All these connections were gained because I lived for her.”

“But that wasn’t given by God, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t given by God. But perhaps I was able to create those opportunities myself because I lived for God?”

The nun looked at Kara and said:

“I’m still inexperienced and learning, but… there’s something my precious person said that I now understand.”

“What is it?”

“In the end, we don’t exist for God.”

The nun said with a smile.

“We pray for ourselves.”

“……”

“I can’t explain it well, but that’s what I’ve come to realize.”

The nun gave Kara a warm smile.

“…Even so, you must be emotionally exhausted right now to listen to my words. For now, I recommend you rest. Your health comes first.”

Kara quietly turned her gaze away from that smile.

“…The Lord…”

“I don’t think there’s any reason to follow the will of a god who is no longer there, who no longer cares for you.”

The heretic who had been quiet suddenly interjected.

Kara glared at him, but he just shrugged as if it didn’t matter.

“If you don’t know what to do next, at least try moving your body.”

“Move?”

“Regardless of Emiris or whatever, just move as you want, go where your feet take you, move your hands as they wish.”

Kara quietly listened to the heretic’s words.

“And then think for yourself: ‘What will I live for?'”

“That’s…”

“You need to move first to experience something and be able to say anything.”

The heretic looked down at Kara and said:

“Like what you want to become, what you want to do.”

“……”

“I won’t say much more. Whatever it is, the choice is yours. Try making your own choice, without God or anyone else interfering.”

The heretic added that she should stay away from the Emiris Order for the time being.

“…Sir Kay.”

“Chris, I’ll go ahead. Is that okay?”

“Yes.”

Soon the heretic raised his hand once to Kara and went outside.

Then, the nun called Chris took Kara’s hand.

“That person said everything I wanted to say.”

“…Is that so.”

“Yes.”

The nun said with a smile.

“I can’t decide what Kara will do from now on. That’s entirely Kara’s privilege.”

“……”

“Think about it, choose. How you want to live.”

The nun said with a smile.

“It’s your privilege to decide for yourself, regardless of God.”

For a while, Kara just looked at the nun’s face.

Then, she quietly said:

“Name.”

“Pardon?”

“Your name?”

The nun smiled and said:

“Call me Christina.”

Christina rose from her seat.

And she put her hands together in prayer.

Moving her lips as if conversing with something, she soon quietly nodded and opened her eyes.

Then, after looking at Kara’s face once, she smiled and extended her hand.

“…What’s this?”

“A gift… perhaps?”

Christina said with a slightly sad expression.

“It might be hard for you to accept right now… for now, let’s just say it’s Kara’s shadow that was inside me.”

Showing the golden sacred power on her hand, Christina said:

“…It’s like a will without substance, a fragment of soul. …It has given me a lot of strength.”

And, Christina quietly added:

“Now, Kara needs it more than I do. …Please take it. You’ll understand the rest yourself.”

Not understanding the meaning, Kara quietly tilted her head.

Seeing this, Christina smiled bitterly.

“Will you take my hand?”

“…Alright.”

Soon Kara and Chris held hands.

At the same time, the golden sacred power could be seen entering Kara’s body.

“This is…”

Feeling a slight headache, Kara’s eyes began to waver.

‘Memory…’

Kara could feel ‘it’ dissolving into her.

Christina smiled at Kara and said:

“Don’t lose yourself, Kara.”

“…”

“Because Kara is Kara.”

Kara looked gently at Christina amid the confusion.

And Christina quietly began to step back.

“I’ll be going now. You seem to need time alone.”

It was clearly meant as consideration.

Kara quietly nodded.

Soon Christina stood up and turned around.

And before leaving the room, she quietly said:

“May happiness be in Kara’s path.”

With those final words, the blonde nun went outside.

After Christina left, Kara quietly sank into thought.

“…So that’s it.”

As she felt the memories entering her, something dissolving within her, Kara’s eyes slowly began to regain their luster.

“Things I want to do, huh.”

Thinking about it, she realized she had few—or perhaps no—memories of doing things she wanted to do, independent of God.

“…I don’t think I ever properly soaked in a hot spring.”

Kara muttered as she recalled one of her desires.

And along with that, she remembered something else.

“…Come to think of it, there was talk of a Festival of Origins.”

The words of the red-haired alchemist she first met in Ferarius.

At the same time, memories that were gradually dissolving and emerging in her mind.

‘The Kingdom of Mikea.’

From her own heart and the emerging memories,

The places Kara needed to go were being determined.

+

Meanwhile, somewhere in Ferarius.

A man was pulling something into a coffin.

“…It was truly a great ordeal.”

Looking at the clear sky, the man muttered with dissatisfaction.

‘To think the Soul Absorption Formation would fail.’

Despite thorough preparation, it ultimately failed.

Considering the time frame, they had gathered quite a number of souls, but not as many as originally planned, and in the end, the Demon King’s power wasn’t significantly strengthened.

The man bit his lip slightly at this fact.

“…If only it weren’t for that hateful dragon.”

The white dragon warrior that the demon race had been wary of.

He eventually destroyed the Soul Absorption Formation, and later, a woman with holy power appeared, completely ruining their plans.

As a last desperate measure, the demon race gathered their forces and charged, but they were all killed by the blue-haired swordswoman.

In the end, all the missions given by the new Demon King had failed.

“Still, I was able to salvage this.”

The demon cultist smiled with satisfaction as he looked at what appeared to be the upper body of a woman that he was pulling with a rope.

“You’re in quite a state, Lady Phobia.”

The demon cultist smiled at Phobia’s upper body being dragged along.

“Whether you’re alive or dead doesn’t matter.”

The demon cultist quietly muttered.

“You failed and were defeated. But the merciful Demon King has given you a chance to atone.”

The demon cultist said with a bright smile.

“By converting all of you into his power.”

There was no answer.

There had been no response for a while, so it was expected.

But even the magical power remaining in this puppet body would be sufficient help to the current Demon King.

‘I don’t know how it will be absorbed, but…’

That could be left to the demon race.

All that remained of Phobia would become the Demon King’s power.

“So please accept with joy that you will now live within the Demon King.”

There was no answer, but it didn’t matter.

The demon cultist had already said everything he wanted to say, and with light footsteps, he continued to drag Phobia’s upper body forward, his gaze fixed ahead.

Because of this, the demon cultist failed to notice that Phobia’s face had begun to smile brightly.