Chapter 255

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What should one feel when they hear that someone precious to them tried to die?

It was something I had never imagined before.

It was a question I didn’t even want to imagine.

Lucia had tried to kill herself.

No way.

I shook my head.

That couldn’t be.

I tried to deny it.

It’s impossible.

I wanted to get angry.

But Frey couldn’t respond.

Normally, I would have snapped at them to stop talking nonsense.

But for some reason, my mouth went dry, and my tongue stiffened.

The ringing in my ears made my mind feel hazy.

My pale face turned white, and my pupils trembled like a small boat on rough waves.

Because deep down, I already knew.

Arin wasn’t the type to lie about something like this.

Eugene wasn’t the type to spout nonsense like this.

It had been a few months since I entered the academy.

During that time, Frey had observed many people through Alice’s perspective.

Her only concern was one thing.

Would they be a danger to Alice or not?

Would they help Alice or not?

Frey’s reason for existing was to protect Alice.

That was why the “second personality”, Frey, had been born.

It was the reason Frey had defined for her own existence.

That’s why she watched the people around her with a borderline obsession.

Like our mother.

Like that wretched woman who had abused Alice.

I was sick of people pretending to be kind while hiding their true nature.

So, I could never let my guard down.

I couldn’t trust someone based solely on their appearance.

You never knew when they might bare their fangs.

Of course, Frey had gradually come to realize that this way of thinking was a trauma-induced obsession.

After meeting Lucia, I learned that there were genuinely pure people in the world.

A foolish, naive woman.

A girl I wanted to crush without thinking.

The first friend I allowed into my heart.

Maybe I had been looking at the world through a lens tainted by prejudice and preconceptions?

Could there be others like Lucia?

I couldn’t change my way of life overnight, but I tried to let go of some of my excessive suspicions and look at the people around me with a slightly different perspective.

Eugene.

A boy I had an annoyingly deep connection with.

He was a bit of a troublemaker, but I had grown somewhat fond of him.

Everywhere we went, we ended up entangled together, surviving life-and-death situations.

Arin.

As the class president of Class A, she acted with a sense of responsibility that was quite admirable. It was infuriating that she had turned a blind eye to Lucia’s crisis and run away, but most people were like that. They prioritized their own safety above all else.

After all, people like Lucia, who would sacrifice themselves without hesitation for others, weren’t common. If they were, the world would be a much more beautiful place.

I had observed something during this time.

As I lowered my guard, things I had previously overlooked came into view.

These two weren’t the type to make such tasteless jokes.

The trust built over time told me that.

“Why…?”

I barely managed to utter a word.

My voice sounded dry and cracked.

The keyword “Lucia’s attempted suicide” resolved all the questions I had been harboring.

That’s why it made even less sense.

Why? How? For what reason?

She had been no different than usual.

She had been no different before the kidnapping.

I hadn’t noticed anything at all.

If she had been suffering so much.

If she had been in so much pain.

Why hadn’t she said a single word to us?

Frey clenched her teeth, unable to deny the reality she didn’t want to accept.

Her shoulders trembled. The red light in her eyes flickered repeatedly. The moisture in her eyes evaporated instantly. Her emotions were in turmoil, and she couldn’t control her abilities properly.

Frey, who had been staring blankly at Arin and Eugene, hung her head like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

“…I see.”

When she raised her head again.

The little girl was no longer Frey.

“Is that so?”

Surprisingly, it was Alice who regained her composure first.

While Frey was too panicked to even control her abilities, Alice forcibly took control of their body.

The fiery eyes had turned cold instead. She mulled over Arin’s words.

Suicide.

Lucia had tried to kill herself.

The scattered puzzle pieces began to fall into place. The gaps formed a complete picture. Arin’s actions, who had been watching Lucia all along. Eugene’s sudden embrace of Lucia. Lucia’s behavior, which had been hiding something. The questions were resolved, leading to understanding and acceptance.

Alice’s eyes turned red. The blue hue had completely disappeared.

“Alice?”

Arin cautiously called her name. For some reason, her skin prickled. The atmosphere had changed. Alice had been different from usual earlier, but now she was completely different.

Arin narrowed her eyes, feeling a sense of déjà vu. She had seen Alice like this before. That day, when she had woken up from her coma, Alice had been similar to this.

“The day the door was broken was the day she was discharged…”

Alice didn’t respond to Arin’s call. She didn’t even hear it.

Muttering to herself, she half-opened her eyes. A faint red light flickered. Her thoughts accelerated.

It was a phenomenon she occasionally experienced during battles when her concentration reached its peak. As her thoughts deepened, she unintentionally entered a world where everything seemed to speed up.

But Alice was completely unaware of this, focused only on her own world.

The external flow seemed to slow down noticeably, but that wasn’t something she needed to consider right now.

“Lucia tried to kill herself on the day she was discharged. Was it impulsive? Or had she planned it from the beginning? It probably wasn’t planned. If she had wanted to die, she wouldn’t have chosen the dorm.

Given Lucia’s personality, she would have done it quietly and discreetly. She would have chosen a secluded place. If she had died in the dorm, I would have seen her body, right? Lucia wouldn’t do something that would hurt me.

No, even if it wasn’t for me, committing suicide in the dorm would cause trouble for many people. So, her sudden attempt to hang herself in the dorm was likely an impulsive act.”

Her thoughts continued, one after another.

Alice bit her thumbnail as she muttered.

Crack. Her nail broke, but she didn’t care at all.

“In other words, she hadn’t planned to die until she returned to the dorm. So, what made her suddenly want to die?”

She chewed on her finger.

Her thumb, torn by her teeth, was soon covered in blood.

Yet, Alice didn’t seem to feel any pain as she continued to think.

“Was it because of what happened during the kidnapping? Yeah, that could be it. Returning to a familiar place might have triggered flashbacks of the terrible memories she wanted to forget, leading to suicidal thoughts.”

“…Alice.”

“No. If she had been in so much mental pain that she wanted to die, I would have noticed. We were together for days. I was always by her side. There’s no way I wouldn’t have noticed.”

“Calm down first…”

“Was there really nothing? Maybe she was putting on an act for my sake, pretending to be okay? That’s right, if it were Lucia, she would definitely… I was such a fool, only looking at the surface and feeling reassured…”

“Alice!”

Something grabbed her hand.

Only then did Alice notice her own hand.

Blood was dripping from her grotesquely torn finger.

Her gaze shifted to the person who had grabbed her hand.

Eugene was wearing an unusually stiff expression.

“I know how you feel. I feel the same way.”

“Ah…”

The acceleration of her thoughts was broken. As her concentration wavered, Alice finally recognized the pain.

A white handkerchief wrapped around her finger. Arin smiled bitterly as she wiped away Alice’s blood. The wound wasn’t serious. With the recovery ability of an awakened, it would heal quickly. But the emotional wounds were a different matter.

‘This was why I wanted to hide it from Alice.’ Arin sighed briefly.

“It’s okay. We’re all worried about Lucia. Let’s think about it together.”

Eugene and Arin thought Alice had panicked.

Muttering to herself and biting her fingers was clearly not normal behavior.

They were only half right.

Half of the girl, Frey, had panicked. She was speechless, her mind blank. She had lost her composure to the point of being unable to make judgments.

The other half, Alice, was calmer than ever. Like Eugene biting his tongue to suppress his emotions, Alice was also suppressing her feelings in her own way.

As her concentration broke, the acceleration of her thoughts also stopped.

Alice grimaced, clutching her throbbing head.

Random thoughts kept popping up, making it hard to organize her mind.

Her head hurt. It hurt so much. Her chest felt tight. Alice chewed on her lip. She wanted to throw everything aside and see Lucia. She wanted to be held in her arms. Lucia would accept any childish whining with a smile.

‘If I complained about my headache, she would gently stroke my head.’

‘But not now. Not yet. First, I needed to sort out my chaotic thoughts and figure out a concrete plan for what to do next…’

“Huh? What the…?”

A familiar voice broke through her thoughts.

Alice reflexively looked up at Eugene and Arin.

To make sure she hadn’t misheard.

“Alice? Eugene? Arin? What are you all doing here?”

Seeing the two’s flustered expressions, Alice realized she had heard correctly.

“…”

Alice turned around to look behind her.

The person she wanted to see the most.

Yet, paradoxically.

The person she least wanted to see right now.

A girl as beautiful as a sunflower.

Holding a purple-haired girl in her arms.

Was approaching with a familiar smile.

“Lucia.”

Alice spoke the girl’s name.

It felt like a sharp thorn had pierced her throat.

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
When Lucia got kidnapped, Frey cried out in guilt, but Alice woke up with her teeth chattering.

It’s the difference between being strong on the outside and soft on the inside, and being soft on the outside and strong on the inside.

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
Regina isn’t really going to help her case once she gets better.