Ch.253248 – Provocation

A dog that bites doesn’t bark.

Walpurgis’s unusual apology video undoubtedly concealed ulterior motives, even without deep analysis.

In their apology video, a high-ranking official named Al-Zarqawi stood alongside twenty hooded members in a row.

Naturally, negative comments flooded in, with the like-to-dislike ratio reaching 1:20.

Some media outlets and nationalist VTubers boasted that the terrorists were intimidated by Korea’s defense capabilities, but this was far from the truth.

Why would fanatics who fearlessly attack America, the most powerful nation in human history, be afraid of Korea?

I could easily see this from the Papal State’s example in my previous life.

They appeared to peacefully negotiate treaties between humans and demons on the surface, while secretly collaborating with the Empire to set elaborate traps to capture me.

“We love all of God’s children equally. However, the unfounded slander of non-believers is disrupting the world, and we will never tolerate such threats to peace.”

Walpurgis cleverly mixed Quranic teachings while pretending to genuinely desire world peace.

Of course, the response couldn’t be positive.

But examining the apology closely, their reaction does seem excessive.

Islam doesn’t typically give special treatment to children, women, or the elderly.

For the most extreme Islamic followers to even promote equality is truly several steps beyond expectation.

I could sense they wanted to avoid conflict with me as much as possible.

I don’t know why.

Honestly, I don’t want to understand and have no intention of trying to in the future.

In the end, their inadequate two-minute apology thoroughly irritated me and gave me reason to film my own video.

If these people were dangerous either way, maintaining a certain level of tension was much safer than being caught off guard by betrayal.

“Hello, this is NoName.”

What’s the most effective way to insult a religion?

Simple—mock their god and leaders.

In my previous life, it was as easy as breaking into the Pope’s bedroom and plucking out what few strands of hair he had left, but in the civilized 21st century, I needed a more modern approach.

“I want to thank everyone for their concern. I’m recording this video to let you know I’m currently focusing on recovery with the help of excellent medical staff at the hospital, so please set aside your worries. With such wonderful people by my side, I must be truly blessed.”

I’ve actually met surprisingly many good people in this life.

Pure and adorable friends—boys, girls, and children alike—Professor Cheon who always puts me first, and countless connections made through streaming.

How long has it been since I’ve lived such a blessed life?

I didn’t want to lose this precious daily life to mentally corrupted individuals.

“I heard the criminals were caught thanks to the police’s day and night efforts. I will never forgive that person. However, I’ll simply forget about them. The fact that they sent me such a ‘gift’ is too insignificant to include as part of my life. So please serve your deserved punishment somewhere out of my sight. I have too many happy days ahead to dwell on such depressing thoughts.”

I slightly furrowed my brow and half-opened my eyes.

I pulled the camera close to fill the frame with my face.

“And Walpurgis, I don’t understand why you’re backing out now when the criminal already confessed during investigation that you provided the magic bomb to eliminate me. Is that what Allah taught you?”

Filming from a slightly lower angle emphasized my cheeks more than I liked, but this was the best approach.

Looking quite, a little, very annoying.

Good, let’s keep going.

“And what’s with this ‘children of God’ talk? Did your boss sleep with Allah to give birth to me? Sorry, but I was born from my mother. A woman, obviously.”

Get angry.

And bark.

Keep barking until the whole world puts leashes and muzzles on you rabid dogs.

I’m willing to sacrifice my dignity for that.

But…

When it came down to it, the words didn’t come easily.

Whatever, I’m eight years old.

I can say this because I’m fully aware of how I’m perceived around the world.

It didn’t suit my temperament to hold back when I clearly had the power to make an impact.

‘I am eight years old. I am eight years old. I am eight years old. I am eight years old. I am eight years old.’

After reciting this final prayer-like mantra, I put on a bright smile.

“Haha! You can’t even make one bomb properly, losers~! Come find me if you’re upset, I’ll take you on anytime! Scared?”

Finding myself too disgusting, I hurriedly pressed the stop button and threw the camera far across the bed.

“Phew…”

If Walpurgis truly had business with me, it was better to provoke them to come after me directly rather than targeting people I know.

I should have responded this way in my previous life too, and the bitter regret made me lick around my lips several times.

Absolutely not because I was embarrassed about what just happened.

* * *

[NoName Official] [Subscribers: 2.84M]

[Bomb Attack Update / Letter to Walpurgis][Views: 12.85M · 3 days ago]

<Real-time Best>

[Real-time NoName Update.realfact]

Korean star NoName miraculously survived a magic bomb attack (how did she survive omg).

Her recent video caused such a stir with shocking statements that over 500,000 comments turned the comment section into a battlefield.

(Best Comment1 Screenshot.jpg)

(Best Comment2 Screenshot.jpg)

(Best Comment3 Screenshot.jpg)

What did she say to cause such intense reactions?

(Hyperlink: Bomb Attack Update / Letter to Walpurgis – NoName Official)

Oh right.

NoName asked if the Walpurgis leader had sex with Allah… (FYI homosexuality is punishable by death in Islamic countries)

She completed the perfect teabagging by even replying to her own video.

(NoName: This video was not created to disparage world religious believers. For reference, I am also a Buddhist.)

We told her to do whatever she wants, and she really got bombed and now faces more terror threats… (Is this kid really 8 years old wtf?)

It feels like her safety is becoming increasingly endangered.

[Comments]

-NoName never actually said “sex” with her mouth, please stop distorting factsㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└ The writer is the worst one here lolㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└ They wrote it so convincingly that people will believe it again! What are you going to do about that!

└ This is all NoName’s fault. Everyone has the impression that she could actually say something like that.

-I’m so glad she’s alive ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ If something had happened to her, the US would have completely annihilated Walpurgis.

└ That’s scary because I think America really would have done that…

└ What are you talking about? There are so many magical facilities in the Middle East, they absolutely couldn’t. Human civilization would regress 300 years.

└ No no, when American bros decide to do something, they do it like real men.

-If you’re a Walpurgis member who’s been listening to “lo~ser~♡lo~ser~♡” on repeat for an hour, upvote

└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└ Even Walpurgis can’t resist NoNameSagaki ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└ They’re probably watching with a full gummy smile.

-She’s not annoying at all, just super cute ㅋㅋㅋ

└ Am I the only one who finds her super annoying?

-LoL queen-level personality ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└ LoL queen lmao ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└ I’m going to make a PDF and send it to NoName’s managers.

└ ㅋㅋ Well, if your childhood character education came from LoL, can’t be helped~

Korea was on high alert.

It was more concerning that Walpurgis hadn’t left any comments after watching my video.

Military leave was suspended for a week, which was unfortunate for soldiers who had planned vacations.

The Ministry of Defense’s response wasn’t necessarily excessive, as Walpurgis forces reportedly made sudden large-scale movements.

Now they’re starting to bark.

A good sign they don’t intend to bite.

Instead, I sent 1,000 subscription gifts from my own pocket to my viewers still in military service, along with sincere words of comfort.

Europe was actually in greater turmoil.

Countries that value “freedom of expression” above all else produced scathing caricatures.

France’s famous weekly magazine Charlie Hebdo kicked things off by publishing nude sexual images of “Allah” and the still-unidentified Walpurgis leader known as “Sheikh.”

Thanks to this provocative content, Muslims directed their hostility more toward Western Europe than Korea.

This video was uploaded suddenly without even going through my editor Seo Ma-ru, causing many acquaintances to worry.

But their concern was unnecessary. I’m not in Korea right now.

“Name student.”

“…”

“Name?”

“Yes?”

“How are you finding the Academy?”

“Did Professor Cheon contact you?”

“No? I’m just curious.”

“It’s fine, Principal.”

A place safer than Korea without leaving Korea.

The Cephiron Academy grounds, where US extraterritoriality applies.

“Principal, did Professor Cheon really not contact you?”

“If you’re worried, why don’t you contact him first?”

“No, he must be busy with work.”

I’ve been in runaway mode ever since having a big fight with Professor Cheon over my reckless video upload.

“Strange, he should be anxious by now.”

How can someone be so cold-hearted?

Sitting quietly on the floor of the principal’s office,

I flipped through a Naruto comic I could barely focus on, pretending to be calm.