Ch.252Sudden Acceleration NPC. (1)

“Puhahah!! So you finally did the deed! Well, I must say, both Miho and Chikuyo are beautiful girls, so I’m actually impressed you held back this long. But I wonder how Rei and Lady Ragni who’ve been following you will rea—”

“I didn’t!! I really didn’t do it!!”

Shit, why does it feel like this guy catches me every time I mess up? Is this normal? The green elf burst into laughter, saying a grown man shouldn’t be embarrassed about such things. Damn it, is this revenge for yesterday? It has to be. But…

“Hey, old elf. You’re not in a position to laugh either.”

“Pfft… Huh? What do you mean?”

Since I came out shirtless, he’s teasing me about the kiss marks that appeared on me somehow, but this is exactly that saying about how other people’s… well, not crap, but honey looks bigger. To be honest, last night was truly sweet as honey… No, that’s not the point!!

“Ha! Don’t play dumb. You’ve got kiss marks on your neck too, you know?”

“…You’re lying, right?”

“Pfft. Looks like you had quite the intense time?”

I can now see why the Saint who was with him yesterday is nowhere to be seen, thanks to the reality before my eyes and my eye-skill knowledge. Just how passionately did you go at it that the Saint, with her excellent recovery abilities, couldn’t even get up this morning and you came alone? Did you turn God’s lamb into a newborn fawn? Did you make her waist tremble?

“No!! We didn’t go that far…!! Y-you heard me yesterday!! I just wanted her heart…!!!”

“Sure, sure. But you’re not a virgin anyway, so why be embarrassed? More importantly, I guess you won’t be able to go to the Aigram Casino anymore? A married man shouldn’t be going around looking at bunny girls’ behinds…”

“I’m telling you, we didn’t do it!”

“Oh, so you’re saying you didn’t do it, but you still want to go look?”

“Argh!! That’s not what I meant!!!”

A perfect reversal of positions. How dare he try to mock me. It’ll take 100 years before… Wait, 100 years is pretty short for an elf, isn’t it? Come to think of it…

“This bastard! I’m going to raise my fist…!!!”

“No, jokes aside. I just got curious about something.”

“…You know, don’t you think you’re being too casual with me?”

“Come on, we’re friends.”

“Yesterday you were going on about age…”

Wait, he can call himself the Saint’s close friend, but I can’t call him my friend? Are we going with that kind of relationship now? Besides, I have six girlfriends but not a single male friend, which has been bothering me. Oh, wait. Salt Nondo is my friend, right? Somehow all my friends are handsome elves.

“Well, putting that aside. So if you’ve decided to go that far with the Saint, what about the lifespan difference? Humans only live about 60 years after reaching adulthood, right?”

“Ha, look who’s talking. You’ve got beastfolk and even a demon.”

“Oh, beastfolk also have…”

“Long-lived beastfolk can live up to 300 years. In Miho’s case, as a tiger beastfolk, she’ll probably live around 150 years, but Chikuyo is a fox beastfolk with two tails. She could easily live 300 years.”

Huh, really? Is our lifespan difference that big? Shit, I need to live longer then. No, the conversation keeps drifting, but what about you?!

“Even if it’s just a fleeting lifespan compared to an elf’s, it’s not really a problem. I’ll simply live longer and tell her story to her descendants for a long time.”

“…Have there been cases of elves being with humans before?”

“Well, when I was traveling around saving elves, there were half-elves living with humans, but most pureblooded elves were being held captive.”

“I guess I could say I’m the first then,” Green Doll said with a slightly bitter smile. Oh no, if we suddenly switch to a lifespan drama here, the story gets too bitter. I cleared my throat and changed the subject.

“So, coming this early in the morning. About what I asked you…”

“Here, a paper detailing Poria’s current situation. Take it.”

As I took the paper he handed me, my status window immediately began translating it. Wow, I really need to study. I still don’t know this world’s writing? A reincarnated person who’s illiterate? Crazy. That’s me.

While scolding myself, I read the paper he gave me, and my brow automatically furrows. Damn, so many casualties. And the forest keepers were completely wiped out? Though since most are listed as missing, there must be quite a few Porian forest keepers among those we captured in Tapun territory. Johnson mentioned that too. There’s also information about the guard, the knights, civilian casualties, and necessary supplies. I quickly skimmed through it and folded the paper. I’ll need to deliver this right after breakfast.

“Given the situation, you understand what this means, right?”

“…Yes. If Luxuria gets caught, it’ll be a witch hunt.”

“Witch hunt? What did witches do wrong…”

“Ah, I just mean she’ll be misunderstood and killed. Thank you for bringing this information.”

“It’s nothing. It’s all thanks to Lizerotte’s efforts.”

He proudly explained that this was the information she had compiled after defending Poria from the previous attack. I smiled sincerely at Green Doll. He seems completely smitten with the protagonist. So…

“Please take care of the other request as well.”

“Sure, but… is breakfast not ready yet?”

“Huh? No, it’s not. But shouldn’t you go back and eat with Lizerotte?”

“Ah, well… She probably won’t be able to get up until lunchtime…”

Damn. This old geezer. Did you really not do anything?

*

“What is this smell anyway?”

“…Don’t know.”

“Don’t even try to find out.”

Since Luxuria hadn’t woken up, I was sent to wake her, but to give the sisters time to tidy up after yesterday’s mess, I went outside with Green Doll and caught two rabbits. Even without forest keeper skills, this is the mountain where I was born and raised. Since Luxuria hadn’t caused any trouble and the monster parade kept people away, the wildlife conservation rate was actually better than before, making hunting easy. But seriously, what is this smell? Is someone drying squid somewhere?

“…That crazy girl. She threw away the blanket.”

“So that’s why she’s called Lust. She’s leaking more than you and I combined.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“‘The meat looks delicious.'”

The sisters, looking much more polished than usual and speaking in perfect unison, shook their heads and gave me cute eye-smiles. What did they just say? Green Doll, why are you making that face like you’ve eaten something bad?

“No, I’m just dizzy thinking about having to bring another blanket.”

“Huh? Blanket? We have exactly enough for everyone…”

“Ah~ Elder! I’ll prepare the rabbits!!”

“Elder~ Let’s go get some firewood~ We used it all up last night~ And please show me some swordsmanship while we’re at it~!”

“S-sure…”

“Jack, please put some water on to boil~ I’ll be right back!”

The two sisters, acting strangely coquettish, told me that Luxuria was completely asleep and I should absolutely not open that room, then dragged Green Doll away. What’s going on? Saying that just makes me want to open it even more. But…

“…Let’s not open it. It’s not like I don’t have other things to do.”

If Pandora hadn’t opened the box and released all the plagues, hope wouldn’t have become the world’s last hope or whatever. I’m not Pandora, and my only hopes are Ira and my girlfriends, so I should refrain from such actions.

Following Miho’s request, I lit a fire with the scarce firewood and put water on to boil, only to realize that there wasn’t enough wood and the fire would go out before the water boiled. As expected, Chikuyo has really good instincts, probably because of her [Perfect Wife] skill.

Sitting alone at the table, I took out the communication crystal from my pocket. Once I report with this, it’s over. Finally, I can go meet Ira! At last, I can get some rest…

[Thank you. Thanks to your report, we’ve gained valuable time to prepare. I wish I could only share good news and rewards with you, but…]

The polite Lord Jace Goodwin. The calm voice of the elderly gentleman once again proclaimed that there would be no rest for me.

*

“Why can’t we reach Headmaster Neti?!”

[How should I know?! Complaining to me won’t get you any answers!!]

In the royal office where only the King of Ponia was present, the irritated voice of Avalitia, mayor of the neutral trading city, echoed from the communication crystal.

“Damn it, what’s going on? Wasn’t the battle supposed to start a month from now?”

[I. Am. Telling. You. I don’t have answers! He said he’d handle it himself, then suddenly launched a ‘surprise attack’—what do you expect me to do?! We’re still pulling in supplies on credit because we haven’t finished preparations yet!!]

Avalitia angrily demanded to know the positions of all units waiting for supplies, then complained with curses that they’d only prepared 70% of what was needed.

“…70% is enough to maintain the front lines. I’ll inform neighboring countries to prioritize the defense of Aigram’s front.”

[That’s obvious. Make sure you understand that if my city—your supply route—falls, you have no chance of winning this war!]

“I’m well aware. And Headmaster Neti should know that too, so what is he doing, not even answering communications…”

The sudden news that Headmaster Neti had launched a surprise attack on the Empire and literally ‘seized’ a territory came two days ago, when Jack was fighting the tentacle nun with glasses. And then…

-BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!

“Your Majesty!! Urgent news!! Excuse my intrusion!!!”

A vassal pounded on the door of the royal office so loudly it was hard to believe, then burst in without permission. It was an act of disrespect that deserved scolding, but seeing the vassal’s pale face and sweat-soaked appearance, the King silently waited for the report.

“Your Majesty!! I apologize for my rudeness! However, the news is extremely grave…!!”

“Enough. What has happened? Report immediately.”

“The Empire, the Empire is marching!! We’ve received urgent news that they’ve already passed through the central border zone and will reach Ponia’s border city in a day!!”

“…W-what?!!”

The central border zone between Ponia and the Empire was the distance that had taken Jack six months to travel by carriage to the Empire. However, using some method, the Empire had moved a large army without detection and was now pointing its blade at the heart of [Ponia That Did Not Fall].