Ch.24Side Story – Fatalist

They say that each person’s fate is determined from birth. Some are destined to succeed no matter what they do, while others are destined to fail regardless of their efforts.

And this is the story of a holy maiden who was destined to surrender to fate and become an atheist.

***

Oh, Goddess? Hello! I’m Rebecca, the newly appointed holy maiden! I just turned 10 years old!

Um… how am I supposed to pray next…

Please wait a moment! I’ll quickly ask the Archbishop and come back!

….

I’m back! He said I just need to pray reverently!

…but how do I pray?

Just a moment! I’ll really ask one last time and come back!

….

I’m back! The Archbishop told me I should honestly confess what I’ve done wrong and then express gratitude to the Goddess!

I’ll start with what I did wrong!

The Archbishop and I promised to go to bed early yesterday… but reading books was so fun… I stayed up late…

I’m sorry… I’ll go to bed early next time…

And thank you, Goddess! I’m not sure what I should be thankful for, but thank you anyway!

I’ll pray again next time!

***

Goddess! Do you know what day it is? It’s my 12th birthday!

And two weeks ago, I received a special ability! I can actually see the future!

The dreams I have while sleeping come true exactly as I saw them! Isn’t that amazing?

But it’s really unfortunate that I can only dream a little bit… How wonderful would it be if I could know the entire day ahead?

The Archbishop calls this a Supernatural Power… Anyway, he says the probability of developing such an ability is very low!

Thank you so much for giving me this ability, Goddess! I’ll continue to live virtuously!

I haven’t done anything wrong this time! I’ve been really good!

…Actually, I ate one extra candy. But candy is just too delicious, I couldn’t help it.

I’m sorry… Instead, tomorrow I won’t eat any candy…

…Tomorrow I’ll only eat 1 candy. No, I’ll eat just 2 candies.

Anyway, thank you for giving me this special ability and allowing me to live comfortably!

***

Hello, Goddess. I’ve come to pray on my 15th birthday.

This Supernatural Power to see the future isn’t as good as I thought. When I see a good future, I can spend the whole day happily, but when I see a bad future, I get tired from worrying all day.

Especially when I saw a future where a cockroach appears in my room—it was truly terrible. I was on edge all day not knowing when it would appear!

Still, I think this Supernatural Power is good. At least I can prepare simply for bad situations when they come.

For example, I can prepare to run away as soon as I see a cockroach.

Anyway, tomorrow I’m scheduled to meet the Hero. And apparently, I’ll become a member of the new Hero’s party.

What about the existing Hero’s party, you ask? They all passed away while fighting one of the Four Heavenly Kings…

Anyway, I’ve decided to fill that vacancy. Will I be able to do better than the previous holy maiden?

I think I’m fairly good at healing, but I’m still not skilled at creating bows and arrows with divine power to attack.

Still, I should do my best. I will definitely defeat the Demon King and save the world.

I’m always grateful, Goddess. It’s just disappointing that I can’t express this feeling in words.

***

Goddess. Today I was supposed to meet the Hero and form a new Hero’s party. But it all fell through.

Would you believe it? The Hero got angry, saying we couldn’t replace the people who were there before.

Especially when talking about the previous holy maiden, he seemed somewhat sad.

Anyway, the Hero was so angry that the new Hero’s party was canceled. He said he’ll just act alone.

Even when you know the future in advance, it still feels bitter. Do I really look that unreliable?

Oh right, I made a friend there. A holy knight named Agath who was very kind. We agreed to keep in touch.

So I gained a small reward after all. Thank you always, Goddess.

***

Goddess. Please lend me your strength.

Today, on my 17th birthday, the Archbishop has decided to hold a banquet.

It should be a day filled with only joyful events. But in the future I foresaw, something terrible happens.

In my dream, several assassins came targeting me. And in the process of the guards protecting me, they lost their lives.

Please lend me the power to change this future, just for a moment.

I won’t be able to pray for long today. I need to prepare to stop those assassins now.

Thank you always. And please bestow your blessings upon us.

***

Goddess… I failed in the end…

We successfully subdued the assassins. But the guards passed away…

None of them survived… They all died in the end…

In the end, I couldn’t save anyone… Goddess… I’m sorry…

***

Goddess. Today I dreamed of a building collapsing and causing casualties. I remember there were about 300 victims.

Three months ago, I couldn’t protect anyone, but this time I’ll show you that I can protect everyone.

I can only express my gratitude to you, Goddess, for giving me this chance to make amends.

I will definitely save everyone this time. Please bestow your blessing upon me.

***

Goddess… I failed again this time…

I definitely prevented the building from collapsing… But why… Why didn’t a single person survive…?

If I had made different choices… Could all those people have survived…?

If I had abandoned the building earlier and evacuated everyone to a different location… Would the outcome have been different…?

Goddess… Why… Why couldn’t I do anything…?

Next time… Next time I will definitely save everyone.

***

Goddess… What is the reason for imposing such trials on me…?

Two years ago… 1 year and 9 months ago… 1 year and 2 months ago… 8 months ago… Last month… And today too… I couldn’t save anyone…

I’ve tried everything I could, but I’ve failed every time… Even when I joined forces with others, I failed every time…

So what… what should I do…?

What do I need to do to save people…?

Please answer me… Goddess… Please… I can’t bear it anymore…

***

Goddess, what would you do if you learned that your actions have no meaning at all?

No matter how hard I try, nothing changes. Conversely, even if I do nothing, everything flows as predetermined.

Even if I use every resource at my disposal, nothing changes.

Even if I join forces with people around me, nothing changes.

Even if I desperately pray to you for years, nothing changes.

Even if I don’t give up and keep trying, nothing changes.

In the end, even if I give up everything and do nothing, nothing changes, just like always.

So what exactly should I do?

Even if I pray like this, nothing will change anyway.

And now I’m going to stop believing in your existence, Goddess. I actually know that you exist. But I’m going to deny you anyway.

Don’t feel too hurt. After all, you’ve never answered any of my prayers even once.

Anyway, thank you for being a support of sorts. Non-existent Goddess.

***

Goddess. I’m praying because of the oracle you sent.

I heard you’re sending someone to our office who will save the world from the Demon King appearing in a month.

I already know your intention. You want me to help that person stop the Demon King, right?

I’m sorry, but I can’t help.

But you’re not in a position to criticize me either, are you?

So I have no intention of helping that person. Rather, I’m thinking of interfering.

Well, you already know that whatever I do will ultimately be of no use anyway, right?

Even if I interfere with that person, everything will flow according to fate. Conversely, even if I help that person, everything will flow according to fate.

So this time too, I’ll just stay still. Doing nothing, just staying still.

But I feel quite disappointed. When I prayed for years, you didn’t give me any answer, but what did that person say that made you speak first?

If this is how it is, why did you choose me as a holy maiden? Why not just kill me and make that person the holy maiden instead?

I’ll stop venting my anger here. Why am I even talking to a deity that doesn’t exist?

But as the Archbishop says, I should at least express gratitude. That’s the basic format of prayer.

Thank you so much for giving me this cursed Supernatural Power. Non-existent, damned Goddess.

***

I dream without fail today too. And I’m forced to see a future I don’t even want to see.

At first, I could only see about 10 seconds, but as time passed, I became able to see for longer periods and further into the future.

I never wanted it, but this Supernatural Power, which is more like a curse, is growing.

Anyway, I’ve reached the level where I can see about 10 minutes of the future a week ahead. Still, I don’t particularly want to know the situation a week from now.

That’s because knowing in advance what will happen today is already burdensome enough.

So today’s dream content is… several people collectively sacrificing their lives to summon demons?

Ah, I can also see the new Hero being brutally killed by those demons.

I was planning to pass judgment on those black magicians today, but the timing is too off, so I’ll have to postpone the judgment.

***

Today, while blankly staring into space, I suddenly received a call from Leo.

“Hello.”

-Go to the hospital now and make sure Agath doesn’t do anything strange.

Then the call ended, and I received a text message with Lite’s location.

Now Lite should roughly understand how cruel fate can be.

***

I opened the hospital room door and said:

“Lite, do you understand now? Fate never changes…”

In the middle of speaking, my eyes met with the new Hero, who absolutely should not exist here.

How… is this possible…?

“I thought you said fate doesn’t change?”

Hearing Lite’s words, my mind filled with confusion.

Fate definitely never changes. So that new Hero should have died without exception.

But here they are, alive and well. Defying fate and living perfectly fine.

Fate that never changes no matter what you do has changed. Fate that never changes no matter who you join forces with has changed.

The cursed fate that never changes even a bit no matter how much you pray to God has now definitely changed.

What did they do to successfully change that fate? Could it be that the Goddess intervened and helped?

That can’t be right. If the Goddess was going to help, the new Hero would have resolved everything well on their own without Lite needing to go.

Then this means Lite changed fate purely by their own power.

But is it really true that fate has changed? Maybe I saw the future incorrectly…

I definitely saw it clearly. I definitely saw that new Hero die.

As I was lost in countless thoughts, I realized that only Lite and I remained in this hospital room.

…Just once. Just one more time.

“Lite, could you do me a favor?”

If I could see that sight of fate changing just one more time…

“What kind of favor?”

“Regardless of what fate it is, just once, just one more time, please change fate.”

If only I could change that fate which seemed like it would never change…

“If you succeed… then I’ll cooperate in stopping the Demon King too.”

If I could see with my own eyes the sight of resisting this damned fate that seemed impossible to resist…

As I thought about it, the motivation I had completely lost began to return gradually.

“Alright. I’ll give it a try.”

Lite answered cheerfully.

And I regained my will to live.