Ch.23Wolf’s Reason

# Troublesome.

Extremely troublesome.

If you ask what’s troublesome, it’s the distance. Specifically, Serin’s lack of hesitation in closing that distance.

“Rahilt, what if you fall! You should stick close to Sister Serin!”

“That’s right. Is Rian such a terrible adult that he can’t even indulge Tiel’s whims?”

“No… that’s not it… I’m simply quite flustered by this unfamiliar situation.”

I bow my head deeply.

Serin’s crystal-clear blue eyes. It’s overwhelming to directly face the flames burning within them. I felt like I might spontaneously combust if I let my guard down for even a moment.

‘Just what… have I gotten myself caught up in?’

Let me carefully trace back my steps. Surely the reason for my discomfort must be recorded there.

Rewinding my memories, I could immediately recall the answer.

That’s right. It clearly began when Eshtiel was enjoying her tour of the imperial palace.

As we wandered through various rooms that Serin frequently used, Eshtiel’s curiosity naturally peaked. And the room that sparked her most intense interest was the art studio set up for painting lessons.

Neatly arranged art supplies and enormous canvases.

Impressive paintings presumably created by Serin.

Items that were irresistibly tempting to Eshtiel.

[Sister Serin. Are you good at painting?]

[Up to a decent level of cultivation?]

[Wow, I’m jealous!]

[Would Tiel like to try?]

[Can I really?]

[Of course, paint to your heart’s content!]

Serin’s generous permission was the catalyst. After briefly learning how to use the art supplies, Eshtiel immediately began working on her first piece. And the subject she wanted to paint was… us.

[I want to paint Rahilt and Sister Serin… would you model for me?]

The moment Eshtiel made her request, shooting stars flashed in Serin’s eyes. Immediately after, Serin grabbed my arm tightly and dragged me to a small sofa with tremendous strength.

Like a tiger nuzzling a rabbit. That was my predicament at the time.

Whenever I tried to create even a little distance because I felt uncomfortable:

[Rahilt! It’s hard to capture everything!]

Eshtiel’s stern command would fly at me.

And when I tried to slowly move away without Eshtiel noticing:

[Oh my. Are you sleepy? Your body keeps tilting, Rian!]

Serin, with the intensity of a bird of prey, would firmly grab me.

And that’s how my current frozen situation came to be. Truly, I felt like I was tightly bound in a net that could swallow the sky…

“But what a shame for Tiel. Since Rian is wearing a mask, it must be quite difficult to draw him.”

How happy I would be to remove it. Serin whispered as if complaining. But Eshtiel, the one receiving this consideration, seemed to have a completely different stance.

“I’m fine with it!”

“Are you going to depict him with the mask on?”

“No! I know Rahilt’s face, so I can just draw it!”

“W-what did you say…?!”

Serin jumped to her feet. However, perhaps because of past strict warnings about ruining the painting, she quickly sat back down properly.

“That’s strange? Sister Serin, don’t you know Rahilt’s face?”

“U-um…”

Serin nodded with a dejected expression. Eshtiel then pushed out her lips and threw a full taunt.

“Ooh, big brother is so mean.”

“Right…! So mean! Heh… heheh…”

“Our brother is really pretty, you know? You should definitely ask him to show you.”

“Is that so, our pretty Rian?”

“Hmm…”

I could only swallow hard. Not only was Eshtiel’s description of me as “pretty” embarrassing, but Serin’s intense stare was also quite burdensome.

“I’d like Rian no matter what face he has.”

“What if I’m ugly?”

“Frankly, what if you are? What matters is that I like you.”

“Is that so…”

When I maintained my lukewarm attitude, Serin interlocked her fingers with mine. Her sly smile had disappeared, replaced by a vulnerable impression like a pouting child.

Serin speaks.

“Let me be honest. I already know Rian is handsome. When someone has beautiful eyes, they’re naturally attractive. But is Rian just ordinarily pretty? He’s practically the most beautiful in the world.”

“Y-you’re exaggerating.”

“But it doesn’t matter to me. Even if half your face was covered in burn scars, or full of dark moles, that’s no longer my consideration.”

“Serin…?”

“It’s just like in romance fantasy novels. No matter how ordinary the protagonist is, the handsome male lead pours endless affection on them. I actually couldn’t relate to this before, but as time passed, I began to understand.”

Serin was using terms I didn’t know. I could barely interpret half of what she said. Still, her sincerity and passion reached me clearly, making me nod unconsciously.

“It’s like, that person is the only choice. No matter how broken or ugly they become, no matter how many excellent people surround them, they’re not even considerations. Especially in cases like mine, where stubbornness has accumulated for over a decade.”

“What have you been stubborn about for over a decade…?”

At my reasonable question, Serin briefly narrowed her eyes and fixed her gaze on me. But when I showed no reaction, she sighed deeply and withdrew her intense gaze.

“Anyway, there’s something. To conclude… unlike before, I don’t particularly care about Rian’s exterior now. What matters is that Rian is Rian.”

Heavy.

The weight of Serin’s words was heavy.

A string of incomprehensible sentences. Utterances far from understanding.

Yet I was certain they were meant for my benefit, and a strange feeling crawled from below my solar plexus up to my chest.

“You don’t understand what I’m talking about, right? Be honest.”

“…While I wouldn’t call it nonsense, I do have difficulty understanding.”

“I thought so. But that’s okay. For me, Rian is someone who can be like that. Remember when we concluded we were close at the café? Think of this as an extension of that.”

“Umm, I understand.”

Though I responded reflexively, the difficult concepts had already been erased from my thoughts long ago.

‘Serin’s… occasional casual speech is impressive…’

Ridiculously, a random appreciation swept through me. So much that I wanted to reproach myself for not focusing entirely on Serin.

Her forcefulness is palpable. It inspires admiration, matching her consistently dignified appearance. Of course, her excessively dignified behavior that even pressures personal space is quite challenging…

‘Hmm…’

I applied pressure to the interlocked fingers that Serin had forcibly held. Serin raised her eyes in surprise at the sensation of our fingers firmly entwining.

I didn’t deliberately avoid her eyes.

Those eyes that seemed to see right through my mask, eyes resembling a wolf.

Yes, a wolf. She was like a wolf.

Serin resembled a wolf. She was like the personification of an alpha wolf leading its pack.

Her luscious black hair reminds one of a wolf’s abundant fur, and her intense gaze evokes the spirit of a wolf spotting its prey. She was a woman who made me imagine a wolf that never releases its captured prey.

Was that why?

I unconsciously stroked her hair that looked so soft. Her slightly curly hair slipped through my fingers like flowing water.

If I embraced her tightly, would that soft sensation spread throughout my body? Even as I inflated such irreverent fantasies, I couldn’t easily disperse them. I was beyond help.

“Rian…?”

“Ah…”

I only came to my senses when Serin carefully called my name. I couldn’t speak, unable to excuse my disgraceful behavior. After pushing myself, all I could manage was an apology.

“I’m sorry.”

“I-it’s okay…”

Serin’s face was turned away as she dismissed it. Yet I could see her ear peeking through her hair. An ear that had lost its usual whiteness and turned pink.

She must be angry.

It’s a natural result after improperly exploring an unmarried woman’s hair.

Indeed, Serin didn’t show her face for quite some time.

It was an unpleasant feeling.

A different kind of unpleasant feeling from when Eshtiel fantasized about admiring the prince.

My chest, my heart, somehow ached. A pain that might slightly improve, or perhaps worsen, if I met Serin’s eyes now.

It’s perplexing.

Perhaps it would be better not to meet her eyes like this.

Just as I was thinking that, Serin slowly raised her head. With her lips pushed out, she looked withdrawn.

“Hey, Rian.”

“…Yes, Serin.”

“Are you sorry to me?”

“I am.”

“But you’ve already brushed my hair before.”

“There’s a clear difference between asking permission and not doing so.”

“Then we just need to make it unnecessary.”

“Pardon?”

Serin strongly grasped my hand, which had briefly been released. Her hand movement was as sticky as melted chocolate gradually hardening.

“If we become close enough to touch each other’s hair as we please, that solves it.”

“But…”

“It’s not fair if it’s just one-sided. I really want to touch Rian’s hair too. Actually, I’ve been holding back for a long time. It didn’t seem like we were there yet.”

“If you’re satisfied with something like my hair… I would have accepted anytime.”

“I know. I know, but I felt like I shouldn’t. I might turn into a beast at any moment.”

“A beast…”

Another incomprehensible metaphor. So I shared my impression of her as it was.

“Serin resembles a wolf.”

“A wolf?”

“I simply… felt that way. Are you offended?”

“Of course not. Actually, wolves are my favorite animals.”

Serin pulled her body closer. Simultaneously, the distance that had briefly widened was restored.

My heart knocked against my ribs at the wafting scent of wild grass and her warm body temperature.

“Do you know why I like wolves?”

“Because they’re impressive?”

“Hmm, so… from Rian’s perspective, am I an impressive person?”

“That’s right. Serin is an impressive person.”

“Ahhm…”

Serin’s cheeks, which had been regaining their color, turned reddish.

At times like this, she looks so fragile that I’m afraid to even touch her. Yet this side view makes me more greedy than her usually dignified appearance.

Enough to make me stare blankly without thinking.

Serin moved her body closer to me. It was a picture of complete contact.

This woman moves her delicate lips.

“You know what, Rian?”

“What… are you saying…”

Serin gazing at me intently. Her breath released a strange warmth.

“Wolves never betray their chosen mates. For a lifetime.”

For a lifetime. At those words, I involuntarily flinched. I did so because of a sensation I couldn’t carelessly describe.

“Just saying. So I’m happy that Rian sees me as a wolf.”

With a slightly flushed face, she smiled.

Thump. Thump.

My chest area felt tight.

And my whole body tingled. As if Serin’s fingers were caressing every part of me.

The reddish smile I was witnessing had such power embedded in it.

“Let’s see.”

Serin’s hand gently touched my head.

Swish, swish.

Like stroking a cherished pet, her thin fingers sorted through my hair.

“It’s soft… much softer than I vaguely imagined.”

“I see.”

I lowered my head slightly below Serin’s eye level. This action stemmed from seeing that it seemed uncomfortable for her to stretch her arm.

To this, Serin, seemingly satisfied, stroked me with gentle hand movements.

“…”

“…”

If Serin could read my thoughts, she would surely give me a look of contempt.

It felt good.

I wanted to rest my head on her lap and savor her touch until dark.

A gloomy desire.

A greed that must never be released, but must be confined.

“Hehe…”

Would she be satisfied with just my hair?

Serin’s laughter flowed cheerfully.

Afterward.

In the distance.

Only the sound of Eshtiel diligently sketching quietly embraced us.