Ch.23My Side or Their Side (5)

“Doha-min, speak properly. Stop mumbling under your breath.”

“You’re a good student, so why are you always trembling like that? If even the speaker lacks confidence, do you think anyone will believe what you’re saying?”

“Right or wrong. Give a clear answer. You need to make those judgments yourself. You’re not a child anymore.”

These were the words I’d inevitably hear from teachers on days when I was unlucky enough to be called on to present.

In elementary school, many children weren’t used to presenting, so teachers would somehow let things slide.

But after entering middle school, these comments tormented me for quite some time.

Speech is the most reliable way to convey one’s thoughts to others.

Perhaps that’s why I wasn’t particularly good at speaking to other people.

Except when talking with my mother or the few friends I got along with,

conversations with others were always nerve-wracking.

Am I saying the right thing?

Could I be hurting the other person’s feelings?

After thinking things over a couple of times, and then wondering again if I’m right,

I’d start to doubt myself. What if I’m wrong? What if I’m misunderstanding something?

Often, I felt a sense of distrust in my own thoughts and in the words coming out of my mouth.

When even I didn’t believe in my own judgments, the words—the medium of communication—lost their power,

and my voice couldn’t help but betray my anxiety.

My passive nature and low self-esteem played a part too,

which is why I struggled so much to fix my stiffening speech pattern when talking to others until middle school.

Now, at the very least, I’ve avoided the embarrassment of hanging my head in silence during presentations,

but I still had the habit of hesitating for a beat when conversing with others.

“…What did you just say?”

But there was one thing that had improved from before.

No matter how many times I reconsidered, when I believed I was right and the other person was wrong,

Min no longer trembled in his voice or hesitated in his breathing.

“I asked you to apologize for calling her a ‘slut.'”

Just like now.

.

.

.

Ahn Seong-kyung had somehow risen from the makeshift chair she was sitting on without even realizing when she’d stood up.

She couldn’t even process what was happening to her right now.

“Haha… this is absurd. Is that why you wanted to meet me separately? In secret from Ban Do-young and the others?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Why…? Did Ban Do-young tell you to come apologize to me?”

Yes, it’s all about looking good in front of Do-young.

Ahn Seong-kyung naturally interpreted Ha-min’s actions that way.

Right now, I’m just a toy to play with,

but if I can convince the class president to apologize here, my standing will naturally rise too.

Yes, even if dating right away is difficult, I might at least make it onto her boyfriend candidate list.

In Seong-kyung’s eyes, Ha-min’s behavior could only be understood in such extreme terms.

“Why don’t you just say it proudly in front of everyone? Like Choi Sa-hyang and Yoo Hye-rang, asking who I think I am to talk to Ban Do-young like that. That would be the best way to score points with Ban Do-young. Or I could call her here now.”

“No, that’s not necessary. I’m not trying to score points.”

“Then what…? Why are you doing this?”

“Because what you did was wrong.”

“…Ha. Haha. Do Ha-min, you’re funny. You stutter and blush in front of Ban Do-young and Lee Jeong-gyu like some loser… but you’re acting all confident in front of me?”

“Then why do you blush and stutter in front of her too? Just like me.”

“I’m saying this because I feel sorry for you!”

Choi Sa-hyang and Yoo Hye-rang had been Do-young’s close friends since elementary and middle school.

But Seong-kyung had also attended the same elementary and middle schools as Do-young.

They had been in the same class about two or three times—in 2nd grade, 5th grade, and 1st year of middle school.

So she couldn’t say she had no connection with Ban Do-young.

‘Hey, class president. Did you hear? The 3rd-year soccer team captain is going to confess to Ban Do-young!’

‘Ah… I see.’

‘Didn’t you say that soccer team captain was super handsome? Looks like a perfect couple is about to form. I heard you were in the same class as Ban Do-young at Bulsa Elementary?’

‘Uh, yeah….’

‘What was Do-young like in elementary school? Was she as pretty as she is now?’

‘No, I wasn’t particularly close with her.’

‘But I saw her borrowing your gym clothes the other day. Doesn’t that mean you’re close?’

‘She just borrowed mine because other girls’ clothes were too tight on her chest.’

‘What, are you bragging about your big boobs now?’

‘Anyway, that’s how it is. We’re not particularly close.’

‘That’s strange. I would have thought you’d definitely be close if you were in the same class as someone like Ban Do-young…’

‘….’

They couldn’t be called strangers, but they weren’t quite friends either.

For almost ten years, the connection between Seong-kyung and Do-young had remained very thin,

but strangely, it had never completely broken off.

‘Class president! Class president! Ban Do-young broke up with the soccer team captain after just 3 days!’

‘3 days…? Why?’

‘That’s what I’m saying. Dumping such a handsome senior. Oh, by the way, I heard that senior prefers pure and modest girls?’

‘Th-then that’s too bad! If he likes modest girls, he can’t date someone like Ban Do-young. How many guys has she dated by now?’

‘Wow… that’s definitely true. As expected, class president. You’ve known her for a long time, so you knew she was boy-crazy from before!’

‘Y-yeah, that’s right. The number of guys she’s dated…’

Rather than not knowing her at all, which might have prevented strange misunderstandings,

Seong-kyung was in an environment where she inevitably encountered Do-young’s face and news occasionally.

And so, Seong-kyung couldn’t help but hear these stories selectively and with distortion.

Without being certain of what was true, or even what she herself was saying.

“How pathetic must you be for me to say these things? You don’t know what kind of girl Ban Do-young really is!”

Ah, poor Do Ha-min.

With a face like that, which has probably never attracted a single woman in his life,

he’s received attention beyond his station and has completely lost his mind.

“Wake up, please. This school is overflowing with guys who would give their liver and gallbladder to Ban Do-young if she just treated them a little nicely, you idiot!”

Yes, it’s not your fault.

It’s that slut Ban Do-young who’s wrong, seducing a virgin with false hopes and using him as her pawn.

“That soccer team captain who was so great got kicked to the curb after just 3 days because she got bored. I heard all about it… how long do you think you’ll last? This past week has already been long; it’s obvious she’ll lose interest in you as soon as lunchtime today!”

I have to tell you.

How futile your actions are.

I need to let you know that Ban Do-young doesn’t care at all about all those things you do thinking of her.

“Do you think she’ll be grateful to you for doing this? Because she put her leg on your knee, you think if you do a little more, she might let you touch her chest next time? Isn’t that it?”

“That’s up to her. I never asked for anything.”

“She’s just doing that to torment you. She knows it will naturally isolate you from the other boys.”

“Why are you trying so hard to vilify her? Everything you said earlier, none of it is something you’ve seen firsthand.”

“…Do you have to see it to know? Do you have to write it in your error notebook to avoid making the same mistake on the next test? It’s obvious. That she’s just playing with you. Even she couldn’t deny it in the end.”

“…So is that why you ignored the gym clothes she left on your desk and just walked out?”

The moment Seong-kyung heard Ha-min’s words,

her fierce gaze faltered.

‘….’

In Seong-kyung’s memory just before heading to the playground in her uniform,

there was a neatly folded blue first-year gym uniform on her desk, left by someone who had borrowed it.

[We borrowed the class president’s too!]

[If you couldn’t get one, wear this and come out (ㅇㅅㅇ)b!]

The cute handwriting on the note atop the gym clothes and the adorable doodle at the end.

It was Do-young’s handwriting—she might not be good at studying, but she had nice penmanship.

“In your mind, she has to be a slut who makes a mess of school life and chases after guys who look down on her. That’s the only answer that works for you.”

“…”

“The image of her showing interest in someone like me and still being kind even when someone calls her a slut—that has to be wrong according to you.”

“…”

“At the very least, it’s hard to make the same mistakes that I’ve marked in my error notebook. But if you forcibly mark wrong answers as correct, you’ll inevitably get them wrong again next time. That’s the situation you’re in right now.”

“S-so… no one knows who’s right about the facts. Can you prove whether Ban Do-young is a slut or not?”

“…”

“Come on, the ‘goddess of Bulsa Middle School’ who’s had multiple boyfriends—are you saying she’s still a virgin, having never done it before?”

“She is a virgin.”

*THUD!*

The door to the gym storage room, which Seong-kyung thought she had locked, swung open.

“B-Ban Do-young…?”

“Okay, I’ll confirm it for you. Do Ha-min, step outside for a moment.”

“Uh, okay…?”

*THUD!*

Do-young pushed Ha-min, who had been trapped in the storage room, outside and remained alone with Seong-kyung.