Ch.238. I Stand in the Wilderness (2)

Within the Academy, it wasn’t as if students, especially those of high status, lacked private spaces.

Particularly for high nobles and imperial family members.

Securing a space comparable to an entire classroom wasn’t particularly difficult.

In that sophisticated space filled with luxurious furniture and supplies,

a red-haired boy with a face flushed like it was engulfed in flames vented his anger into the air.

The red-haired boy

suddenly turned his black eyes toward a girl and approached her, asking,

“Seras. Answer me. What’s the reason? What have you been dawdling about all this time?”

The boy now right in front of her.

He was trembling, as if suppressing his rage like a wild beast.

Prince Alesius.

A bloodline so noble that even blue blood would find it difficult to approach.

The golden bloodline, as they say.

The current Hero Emperor is both the Emperor of the Berk Empire and the head of the Enzul family.

However, even the great Enzul family was on precarious ground two generations ago.

Conflicts and discord between blood relatives.

The resulting disharmony.

Followed by civil wars both large and small.

The imperial authority was on the verge of sliding off a cliff.

It was the current Hero Emperor who stabilized that power structure.

But one of his few flaws,

if there was any distance to criticize, was that he accepted no concubines other than the Arcane Empress Melineos.

The religious order highly praised this as being virtuous and faithful to marital duties.

But as a result, his bloodline consisted only of Princess Elhermina and Prince Alesius.

To the uninformed, this might seem trivial, but it meant that a power vacuum could occur at any time.

Nevertheless, the reason the imperial family is praised as being blessed by the divine through the religious order is because

both the princess and prince were born with unprecedented qualities.

However.

When examined in detail, the gap in their qualities and the difference in their capacities becomes even more pronounced.

Seras, who had been taking in his spirited yet handsome appearance, stared fiercely into his darker eyes and retorted,

“I have no way of knowing what you’re trying to ask.”

“Don’t play dumb like that! It’s not amusing! Not at all!”

“Your Highness Alesius.”

Seras spoke with a serious demeanor.

“From the moment Her Highness the Princess expressed her desire for an engagement and revealed her intention to keep him by her side, all our intentions became meaningless. Please accept that fact graciously.”

“Just because my sister wants it! Must I allow it! Me! I, Alesius!”

“It’s a decision made through His Majesty the Emperor’s word. As long as Kariel lives, it cannot be undone now.”

“……”

Though her words were cold, even Alesius standing before her knew that Seras was more uncomfortable than anyone else.

It was just that flames had risen in his chest.

Unable to contain them, he had simply burst out in irritation.

“…Damn it all.”

“Have you calmed down?”

He waved his hand dismissively and said,

“I apologize. I took out my anger unnecessarily.”

“…Is this the first time this has happened?”

“I should at least say… Haa. Forget it.”

He could flare up in fiery anger,

but would quickly become calm and collected again.

Rather, because he doesn’t let things build up, he holds few grudges, and his honesty makes it not so uncomfortable to treat him as a superior.

Having a completely gentle temperament would, in another sense, mean failing to properly display the dignity of a ruler.

Indeed, a ruler and leader needs to be bold and have the courage to move forward at the forefront.

In that respect, Alesius, though still showing hasty and clumsy aspects, could be seen as possessing sufficient qualities for the role.

…The problem was,

while he was still young,

the Princess, who wasn’t much older than him, was already following the path of a fully-formed monarch.

As a ruler, she might be perfect.

But she was utterly devoid of affection.

Above all, she lacked humanity.

She remained silent even when she should be angry, and indifferent when she should be joyful.

Rather,

someone with abundant emotional expression like the prince before her would be better.

…That’s not to say he recklessly throws tantrums here and there.

When he expresses his emotions, it’s usually one of two things:

Either you’re an enemy, or you’re an ally.

If you’re an enemy, he treats you harshly since there’s no need to be considerate.

If you’re an ally, he shows appropriate favoritism since you’ll be with him until the end.

“The fact that they warned you directly, Seras, could also be interpreted as a warning to me, right?”

“I suppose so.”

Enough with the foolishness.

Once I’ve decided to embrace something, I will no longer tolerate or permit any petty schemes.

“I can’t deny it’s a political masterstroke.”

“I know that. I know!”

Before passing on the throne, it’s about securing the imperial bloodline.

Perhaps the Emperor will live a long life, and the succession might come very late to the current Princess or himself.

Also, the bond between Rueld and the Hero Emperor.

Even the bond with the religious order, connected and authorized through the Holy Maiden.

They would form an unbreakable alliance.

“If things go wrong, you and I might end up together someday.”

“Please wake up from that dream.”

“Of course, I don’t break my promises.”

Seras replied with a tone mixed with a sigh.

“…Eras is still trying to become a child worthy of Your Highness.”

“……”

This is why, no matter how tangled their relationship might become, it could never be completely severed.

“I should go see her.”

He was trying to soothe his fluctuating emotions.

Bang!

“Your Highness.”

“What is it?”

A boy approached him and whispered in his ear.

“What—what nonsense is this?!”

“What’s the matter?”

When the boy looked at the prince as if seeking permission,

“Have I only known you for a day or two?! It’s not something to hide, so why are you looking at me like that?!”

“Well then…”

Being around the prince always meant facing and confronting his temper.

The boy calmly told Seras what he had just heard.

“There’s a rumor spreading among students that Swordsmanship Instructor Lembert was tricked by Kariel.”

“…How is that possible?”

Seras crossed her arms with an expression as incredulous as the prince’s.

“What do the witnesses say?”

“…They say it wasn’t so much swordsmanship as some kind of trick? Maybe some sort of dark art.”

“Dark art?”

The prince interjected.

“Would a swordsmanship instructor of the Empire be fooled by some cheap dark art? By that worthless country bumpkin who’s always getting beaten up?”

“…He’s not exactly a country bumpkin.”

At Seras’s words, the prince burst out,

“I mean his appearance! His appearance!”

The prince clicked his tongue and gestured with his chin for the boy to continue.

“They say he did subdue him with a sword, but with strange postures and movements, he just thrust forward, and the instructor got caught up in it, fell, and dropped his sword.”

“What on earth is that? Where did he learn such a thing… No, could it be that Lord Rueld…?”

“Everyone is indeed wondering if he might have learned something from Lord Rueld to become like that.”

“It’s hard to say without seeing it firsthand.”

After all, the prince himself was under Rueld’s tutelage.

The prince had several tutors, but if there was one who could be called his personal mentor, it was indeed the hero Rueld.

Not that he showed favoritism or particularly dedicated himself to teaching the prince.

Just showing him a few moves and saying, “Improve like this, practice this.”

But for the prince, who understood what was being taught, it was enough to fill in the gaps and satisfy his needs.

He intended to honor him as his master.

“……”

Come to think of it, bullying that man’s son might seem like a misaligned aggression…

Initially, he hadn’t intended to reject the boy to this extent.

But.

The more he watched, the more there was something about him that provoked anger beyond irritation.

‘It’s that indifference that infuriates me more.’

Having everything yet pretending to have nothing, why act like that?

At the very least, Rueld wasn’t as rigid or strict as his father, the Emperor.

Had that boy ever experienced punishment where, for a small fault, his skin would split and muscles tear until blood streamed down?

Where even crying out was not permitted?

Even his sister occasionally had to endure all sorts of punishments for failing to pass His Majesty’s tests.

Not to mention himself.

And what?

‘That damn bastard is going to take my sister?’

How could he accept that?

Even if that bastard became worthy of his sister, it would still be irritating.

That such a wretched outcast would dare… dare!

“Should I go check first? Or… would you like to confirm it yourself?”

“……”

There, the prince’s seething emotions settled once again.

“Seras. What do you think I should do?”

“Since you lose your composure whenever you see Kariel, wouldn’t it be better if I checked first?”

“…You have a point.”

However.

“That opinion doesn’t give me reason enough to accept it.”

Has he actually become impressive?

Or was he hiding his strength all along?

“I need to see for myself.”

If incompetence has turned to competence, shouldn’t a member of the imperial family, who must guide the subjects, gladly welcome this?

“……”

But if it’s deception, forcibly trying to fool the world…

If he’s trying to wash away his dishonor by spreading baseless rumors at the engagement ceremony with his sister…

“Hmph.”

Then personally stripping away that false pretense.

Preemptively blocking the dishonorable situation that would follow.

That would be the generosity and kindness that a member of the imperial family could show.

====

-There is such a thing as a sword of the mind.

Without even realizing you’ve been stabbed.

It splits the soul and shreds the spirit’s skin into pieces, a truly vicious thing.

-Since you can’t properly respond to it, the victim might feel terribly wronged, but if ignorance and weakness are sins, what can you do? You must bear it yourself.

Patience.

Even that has its limits.

-There’s a limit to what can be endured. When you consider that thinking and reasoning consume mental energy, why do you assume that your mental strength won’t be depleted?

It’s the same with enduring physical pain.

The same with bearing mental anguish.

-The reason you became sick from within, and those pathological symptoms spread to physical abnormalities and symptoms, is because you were beaten to a pulp by those invisible swords and blunt weapons.

“……”

Yet because you endured and persevered to the end.

-It might sound absurd, but because you didn’t die and held on, your mental capacity has also increased.

“Is that a good thing?”

-There are pros and cons.

Let’s say it’s good that your mental capacity has increased.

But.

-Your endurance has decreased, hasn’t it? Why? Your mental storehouse has grown and is filled, yet why is it harder to endure and bear than before?

After a silence, Kariel answered with relative certainty.

“Is it because the pain has grown larger?”

-The nuance is correct.

The wounds inflicted upon you have not yet healed.

They never have.

Because fingers were poked into those wounds.

Because blades were thrust in and twisted.

And then.

Filth, putrid water, hot water, salt—all were poured over them in abundance.

Far from healing, there was no chance of recovery.

-Because you were continuously beaten and stabbed without a moment’s rest. That’s why today hurts more than yesterday, and beyond agonizing over tomorrow’s wounds, you’ve come to dread a future that hasn’t even arrived.

“……”

The reason you couldn’t sleep at night.

The reason you came to welcome the moon and hate the sun.

-With each shadow the sun melted away, you must have agonized day after day.

Gratitude for the setting sun.

Resentment for the rising sun.

“……”

In the library, I sit in silence.

Gazing out the window.

As if watching cautiously.

As if pursuing someone.

Alternately checking the entrance below and the library entrance in the distance.

But with a mindset distinctly different from before.

I close my eyelids.

From very far away.

Footsteps approach.

It could be an auditory hallucination.

A hallucination born of my fear, my anxiety.

Sounds that sometimes matched reality, but that I wished wouldn’t.

For a moment, I was captivated by such hallucinations without basis.

Thud, thud, thud.

What had been hovering between illusion and reality finally materializes.

With that, the hallucination lingering in my mind breaks off.

The sound of feet striking the ground is pulled into reality.

“……”

As I turn my gaze,

there stands the prince and his followers.

They had just spotted me and were staring fiercely, having stopped in their tracks.

The hunted prey.

A weak rabbit with injured hind legs, its face buried in a small burrow.

Always just barely enduring.

And today, it finally faced its predator.

Half by choice.

Half by force.