Ch.232The Road to Harpoon Bay (3)

“How’s the ship’s condition?”

I asked the technicians who were inspecting the gas envelope.

“It’s fine. There’s no damage to the main structure, and no systems are showing any abnormalities.”

“That’s a relief. I’d rather not have the frame bend like last time.”

“Very true, sir. We’ll continue monitoring.”

“Hmm.”

After checking the ship’s durability one last time with the technicians, I headed to the captain’s quarters.

I needed to speak with Simon, the party’s advisor and sage.

Clunk.

“Ah, you’re here.”

When I opened the door to the captain’s quarters, Simon was already there waiting for me, elegantly combing his beard.

After I sat down, Simon placed his beard-twirling hand on the table and asked.

“So. You want to modify the ship?”

“That’s right. It’s too weak as it is. I just found out that our armaments are barely different from an intercontinental cruise liner.”

“That’s… definitely a problem. This is supposed to be a warship. If it’s similar to a civilian vessel, it’s a matter of pride.”

I could only nod in agreement.

A warship being similar to a civilian vessel wasn’t just a matter of wounded pride; for the military, losing pride meant losing both self-respect and sense of belonging.

Why become a soldier in the first place?

Isn’t it to belong to an overwhelmingly powerful group that stands apart from the majority, carrying impressive guns and swords, wearing splendid uniforms and formal attire?

If the military isn’t impressive anymore, there’s no reason to stay.

Especially when the command consists of a suspiciously good civilian-massacring knight who follows a minority religion, an alcoholic dwarf, an elf, and a woman in “extracting-other-husbands’-semen-is-too-enjoyable” mode.

Given that we’re not even a regular army operated by the state but a private military funded by my personal wealth, if I were to die, the army’s dissolution would be a foregone conclusion. Add to that the instability of soldiers’ lives being determined by my whims, and it’s no wonder people would rather just discharge.

“Let’s increase the class first, at least to about 200,000 tons. And let’s increase the number of soldiers to about 50,000, which would make a full division.”

“That seems just right. 1 million gold coins is a large sum, but compared to national revenue, it’s just a handful. At 200,000 tons, most pirates would be begging for mercy as they flee.”

I nodded once more.

Vehicles naturally become exponentially more powerful the larger they get.

At 200,000 tons, we could use proper large-caliber main guns like 460mm instead of 203mm, and move beyond infantry units to run systematic armored units with tanks and armored vehicles.

“I’ll check if we can upgrade at Harpoon Bay. I’ll also need to find places selling tanks and armored vehicles… give me some time.”

“I can give you that. But the personnel to operate them is an issue…”

“There are mercenary groups that specialize in armor. How about recruiting them?”

“Mercenaries…”

In truth, since our army was already essentially a large mercenary group, hiring more mercenaries would simply mean expanding our size.

My concern, however, was about faith.

Mercenaries, due to their harsh lives, often rely heavily on faith, and I questioned whether they would follow a lord who believed in the nearly extinct Yangwol faith.

There are countless mercenaries who charge into battle shouting Karyl’s name, and if we brought in the wrong mercenary, the Sky Warden could become the Sex Warden or the Blood Warden.

“It’s not easy… Living as an apostle of a minority religion is no simple matter.”

“If it’s a matter of faith… then this old man has nothing to say.”

“Let’s just train them from scratch. We can buy training equipment. Besides, armored units are expensive equipment, and I’m uncomfortable entrusting them to mercenaries.”

“Then I’ll look into retired soldiers. Though I wonder how many we can gather in Harpoon Bay.”

“I’m sorry… making you run around at your age.”

“Nonsense. We’re veteran adventurers now. If you expect a mage to sit in a rocking chair smoking a pipe, you don’t deserve to be an adventurer. I’m still spry, so don’t worry.”

Simon’s words made me feel somewhat relieved.

What’s the advantage of age if not to understand the hearts of youngsters like me and handle organizational problems smoothly with overwhelming experience? That’s why elders are respected.

As the saying goes, “survival is strength.” If he were weak, he wouldn’t have survived to his sixtieth year.

Feeling grateful to Simon once more, I embraced my wife who was subtly clinging to me and kissed her.

*

“…Tell me again…”

“Well… he was masturbating with an engine oil bottle and ended up like that, sir.”

After sighing briefly at those words, I looked at the groin of the soldier lying on the hospital bed with a “kill me now” expression.

His… genitals were swollen bright red, with an IV drip inserted, adding to the astral atmosphere.

“Why on earth?”

“He said… he just wanted to do it.”

“He wanted to?”

“He thought engine oil would be similar to lubricant gel.”

I briefly rubbed my face.

Just as I was about to say something, another soldier entered the infirmary.

His awkward gait suggested something was wrong, and the medic asked him what he needed.

“What brings you here?”

“…It won’t come out…”

“…What won’t?”

“…”

The soldier’s face turned bright red, then he whispered something into the medic’s ear.

Upon hearing it, the medic’s expression turned incredulous, while the soldier just hung his head in silence.

“Why would you put that there… Never mind. Let’s get an X-ray first. Can you walk?”

“…Yes.”

Then he awkwardly shuffled toward the X-ray room.

“…Find out what’s going on.”

“Yes, sir.”

Curious about the problem, I ordered my subordinate to investigate, and a few minutes later, he returned with a “this shouldn’t happen in this world” expression.

“What was it?”

“It won’t come out, he says.”

“What won’t come out?”

“A 15mm heavy machine gun bullet, sir.”

“???”

What is this nonsense? What did he put where that won’t come out…

“…Surely not where I’m thinking?”

“That’s exactly where, sir…”

“Good lord.”

I couldn’t hide my shock as I clicked my tongue.

Why… why would someone do such a thing? If it had discharged, he would have died instantly… That private who used the engine oil container as a sex toy almost seems normal in comparison.

“He said the thickness and length were just right…”

“You didn’t need to tell me that…”

“I apologize, sir.”

*

After the spectacular experience in the infirmary, I discussed this issue with Simon.

“Ah, that. It’s because we’re getting closer to Harpoon Bay. As we approach the birthplace of the sex deity, the soldiers’ sexual desires are going wild.”

“…I had no idea the influence would be this strong.”

“Can’t be helped. Soldiers already have a strong image of being starved beasts…”

“Damn it… We need to come up with a solution! I cannot allow my ship to become a brothel!”

“Hmm… This is troublesome. How can a mere mortal resist the energy emanating from a divine realm?”

Damn… He has a point.

No wonder my wife has been strangely clingy lately. Is it because she’s a woman (Medina is a goddess) that she’s more strongly affected?

“The chaplains seem to be doing better, even those who serve Medina.”

“Their souls are already coated with Medina’s saliva, so they don’t need to go crazy. The other chaplains are protected by the other three gods.”

“Uh… what about my wife?”

“Raisha? She’s surely under the moon’s protection. The sun symbolizes the husband, the moon the wife.”

“Hmm… Then why was she clinging to me today?”

“Maybe she just wanted to be more lustful today.”

“Simon! Are you saying my wife is vulgar?”

“To… to avoid misunderstanding, let me clarify… Your wife does have a strong libido. Couples who have sex every single day without fail are not that common.”

When Simon said that, I couldn’t help but experience culture shock.

What…?

So… other men don’t get drained like this every day?

On that day full of shock and dismay.

I could only watch helplessly as the scent of night flowers wafted through the barracks.

If it’s this bad before we’ve even arrived, I wonder if half the soldiers will turn into women when we reach Harpoon Bay? I’ve heard that transgender transformation rituals are also performed in Medina’s name…