Ch.23176. Sacred Blasphemer (2)

“…….”

But.

Nothing has ended.

Outside is still a mess.

And the situation here is just as unstable.

Releasing Tenebra seemed to have improved Lutetia’s condition somewhat.

…It appears the damage she took from that guy was quite severe.

“…….”

Gods don’t die and are eternal.

If they die, it’s merely shedding their shell.

But for a being who has temporarily ascended to godhood, what does it mean when that shell disappears?

Her essence is not something divine.

Therefore, her shell is actually… proof of her divinity.

The War God targeted that very point.

“…….”

With the injury from Mistilteinn still unhealed, this could be extremely fatal.

<…….>

But why….

<I didn’t need… to search for it after all?>

Are you smiling?

“Well, it couldn’t be helped, right?”

And as if answering that, a voice reaches me.

“If I left it alone, the world would be turned upside down.”

“…….”

At first, I wondered who it was.

But there was no need to recall or think about who it might be.

“Besides, don’t you have quite a few things you want to ask me too?”

“…….”

Despite his pure white attire, his black hair and golden-flecked eyes stand out.

From this extremely young boy, I feel a sense of familiarity mixed with unfamiliarity.

Is this another absurdity?

I reflexively asked:

“Was it your will that blocked me from accessing the past?”

“What? Is this what I become when I age? How disappointing. People without wit and composure are unbearably boring.”

“…….”

“Would it hurt you to pretend to be surprised?”

Regardless of how friendly he’s being.

I felt both frustration and irritation welling up inside me.

That’s why I remained silent, organizing my thoughts.

It would be a lie to say I hadn’t anticipated this situation….

“You once said that inside me were both a snake and a monster… right?”

“That’s right.”

“That wasn’t a metaphor, a simple delusion, or nonsense.”

“Exactly as you said.”

“…….”

If that’s the case.

“Am I the monster, or are you?”

“Take a guess. Which would be more disappointing?”

“…….”

Either way.

But I already know the answer.

“You must be the monster.”

“On what grounds?”

“…Because you’re so exceptional?”

It was a feeble answer, but.

“That’s certainly true.”

He readily agreed.

“What you needed was the inherent quality of being human. The fact that you could become what you are now was only possible because you were human. For me, it would have been impossible.”

“…….”

Yes.

So what I have, what remains.

Now there’s only this one thing left.

“So Athena was not only meant to keep you in check but also to support you?”

“You know that much? Impressive. Since it doesn’t seem like you just figured it out from information alone, you must have gone through quite an adventure?”

“…….”

The reason why the world had no choice but to hate me.

It’s because.

This being is the one who destroys and collapses the existing world at any time.

He is the central figure.

“Pallas.”

Whether he’s the one mentioned in Athena’s origin myth who accidentally killed his close friend during play.

Or whether he’s the enemy she trampled in war.

The point is one and the same.

‘God and giant.’

In the myths where they appear, they are beings descended from the primordial gods (Πρωτογενοι).

“Whatever the roots are, it doesn’t matter.”

As the two of us exchanged words in this manner.

<What are you two? How do you know each other?>

Lutetia intervened with suspicion and anger.

“Don’t you know? He’s my future.”

Lutetia looked back and forth between him pointing at me and the two of us.

<…You and he are fundamentally different in your very essence. How could he possibly be your future?>

“I find that a bit curious myself. It wasn’t my intention.”

He shrugged his shoulders.

…Why does something so familiar feel so unsettling?

“But one thing I can tell you for certain is that I didn’t know my own future either. So I was just about to satisfy that curiosity, what do you think?”

<…I only want to ask one thing.>

“If it’s about what you plan to do with the World Tree, I don’t know.”

<…….>

“Really. It’s not that significant.”

He smiled without malice.

<Then why did you appear? Do you want to be killed?>

“Unfortunately, that’s difficult too… because I’m already dead. Oh, don’t misunderstand. At that time, I was so exceptional that I couldn’t die even if I wanted to.”

“…….”

What a pathetic way to boast.

“My situation is similar to being confined. Oh, I misspoke. Not me as Kariel, but me in my essence. Hmm? Was that explanation too complicated? I thought I explained it simply enough for even a bee to understand.”

That’s just your opinion.

“So what are you now? Neither alive nor dead?”

“No, I told you I’m dead. How many times must I say it? Or is this the first time?”

<What are you trying to—argh!>

Lutetia clutched her pierced diaphragm area as she tried to demand answers.

“To be precise, I am a being from the past, conversing with you from the future. How is this possible? Since you know where we are, I’ll spare you the unnecessary details.”

“…….”

The World Tree?

But even so, this is….

Come to think of it, this place is different from the space formed by Athena.

A white world.

A sterile space filled with pure white in all directions, without light or darkness.

“So I, from the past, ask you from the future. How was it? Life as a true human?”

“…….”

He speaks in such a strange manner.

“Why are you curious about that?”

“Can’t I be purely curious with my young mind? Wouldn’t it be more abnormal not to be curious?”

“…….”

He has a point.

“It wasn’t good.”

“In what way?”

“…Because you and I were never equals.”

They called him a genius.

At least, I wasn’t one.

The great and small achievements of my younger self from just a few years ago drove my future self into a pit.

I’ve been wallowing in that pit all along.

“But you are me, aren’t you?”

He said brazenly.

“Let me ask you the opposite. What could I have done without any of your talents, abilities, or aptitudes?”

“Huh? Well. Should I feel sorry about that? But innate talent and exceptional qualities aren’t everything in life, are they?”

He stuck out his tongue as if without malice.

“Still, it was necessary.”

“…….”

“Besides, I expected that I would endure somehow and grow well. Look. How many people in this world are like you now?”

Then, turning his gaze to Lutetia, he said:

“If you can even drive away a false god, your existence has already far surpassed the ordinary, hasn’t it? Isn’t that enough? Oh, right. For our ambition, the word ‘enough’ might be an insult. Sorry.”

“…….”

He seems to be greatly mistaken about something.

“I’m not living a life where power or wisdom is the goal.”

“But you needed those to overcome and break through fate, didn’t you? Right?”

“…….”

“Or what? Don’t tell me you had such bestial thoughts like wanting to live normally and happily? Someone like me?”

……Indeed.

His way of thinking is that of a superhuman.

But unlike him, my mind and thoughts were not superhuman.

I felt that fact to my very bones in this moment.

“Happiness is ultimately just a trick produced by the human body. If you get caught up in good smells and delicious food, that’s worse than being an animal. It’s natural for beasts to live such lives, but not for us, right? We’re humans who can have intellect and awakening, aren’t we? And you’d spend your whole life repeating such acts and wastefully squandering your life? No, right? I’m mistaken, right?”

“…….”

Having glimpsed his past, I could somewhat empathize and understand his perspective.

But even so, this isn’t right.

“Have you ever considered that when such thinking becomes twisted, it contributes to the collapse of the world?”

“I’m not a dogmatist. Think about how many advisors and adults were around me. Do you think I would insist my opinion was right without listening to their words and advice? We don’t live in this world alone, that’s too much.”

“…….”

He was speaking abnormally and suddenly returned to normal.

But….

“You would have persuaded them to suit your taste anyway.”

“Well, that’s obvious.”

Is that supposed to go without saying?

He asked again.

“So do you regret your life now? Do you resent it? Are you like her, hating and irritated by everything in the world? Do you want to destroy it all?”

“…….”

Inadvertently meeting Lutetia’s eyes, I let out a small sigh.

“I have no intention of blaming the world. Nor do I intend to affirm it.”

“How ambiguous.”

“…When the object of resentment is ambiguous, it’s easier to resent everything visible.”

That would ultimately distort even my anger and hatred.

The anger and hatred I’ve harbored are surely righteous.

Making them into wrongs and sins is unacceptable.

At least, I shouldn’t be like that.

If I inflict upon others the same things I resented and hated being done to me…

…When will this cursed infinite cycle of hatred end?

I cannot transfer what I hated and what was hard for me onto others.

But if I’m weak, I’ll compromise, and if I compromise, I’ll become cowardly, ugly, and pathetic.

I wanted to at least not cross that line.

Because if I did, it would justify everything they did to persecute me.

In any case.

What I chose was.

Even if I had to wallow in hardship, I wanted to remain noble.

That’s my pitiful pride, now reduced to dust.

Justice and righteousness spoken by winners, the righteous, and the good.

And justice and righteousness spoken by villains and evildoers can never be placed on the same level.

It’s not a matter of anyone’s evaluation or perspective.

It’s about me, about what I believe.

I don’t care if heaven abandons me and the whole world casts me aside.

As long as I can accept it.

As long as I alone can be satisfied.

The rest is not my concern.

“You’ve developed a strange kind of stubbornness. Is this your way of pursuing goodness and justice?”

“I’ve never pursued goodness or justice.”

“Then you’re even worse. Because that’s how you act. It’s good in a way… but it only makes your life harder.”

“…….”

“That’s probably why you gained that power. But is it only the foolish, the naive who willingly endure such hardship that deserve to obtain it? How absurd.”

That’s probably.

“It was possible because it was you. I won’t withhold my respect for that.”

“Enough with the nonsense.”

Neither Lutetia nor I want that kind of talk.

“Why did you appear at this moment?”

<…….>

At first, I thought he appeared to check on Lutetia or do something to her.

But now he’s acting like he knows everything.

Even now.

He asked casually:

“You can crudely observe the future now, right? And the past too.”

“…….”

“But you haven’t yet seen what caused the current me to become the current ‘you.’ Would you agree with that?”

I just nodded.

“That’s why I’m here.”

“Why specifically ‘now’?”

“…There are reasons.”

He turned his gaze back to Lutetia.

“First, I intended to show that foolish child what the World Tree is like.”

And second.

“I wasn’t sure how you would receive my choice.”

At those words, something suddenly occurred to me.

“You… did you select your own future?”

“Hmm. Is it because we have the same thing? Your intuition is sharp.”

Selection.

Isn’t that essentially the ability of the World Tree itself?

The ability to select worlds.

Observation and distinction are merely supplementary to the ability to select.

“As you know, I inadvertently glimpsed another future of mine, another possibility, through the World Tree.”

And how that being eventually swept through the world.

“You must have experienced the same thing I saw through the World Tree, right?”

“Yes. And are you aware that the great war specter we saw has now come to our world and is wreaking havoc?”

“Yeah. That’s my choice too.”

That means….

“You predicted even the Demon Tree’s intentions? Or did you guide them?”

“It wasn’t intentional. More precisely, it was the result of my indifference.”

Indifference?

“It’s like giving bread to a hungry child, but only to the one you can see, and paying the price for that.”

“…….”

I’m not sure if his metaphor is poor or if I lack the capacity to understand and accept it.

Certainly, this situation is exceptional for me, making it difficult to compose myself.

Though I understand intellectually that there’s no need to be shaken.

But in a corner of my heart, murky emotions were fluctuating.

“So I passed it on to you.”

“What the hell?”

“Today’s me can pass homework to yesterday’s me, right?”

“…….”

He speaks with nauseating ease.

“I’m a greedy person, so I had no choice. But I couldn’t just throw away the goodness and justice I learned from my father and mother.”

“…Goodness and justice, huh? Most of my memories of those two involve being filled with resentment and hatred.”

“???”

The composed expression he had maintained until now transformed at those words.

He asked with an incredulous tone:

“What are you saying? Don’t tell me… you actually resent them?”

As if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

He seemed genuinely shaken by my attitude and response.

Is this another absurdity?