Ch.22Crystal Palace Below (6)

“…Evan?”

The voice in my ear brings my wandering mind back to reality. What was that smile I just saw?

I was so confused I couldn’t tell if it was an illusion melting into the moonlight or if she had truly smiled.

“From now on, I’ll be counting on you, Evan.”

I had been acknowledged as her knight. Unless she dismissed me first, I would continue to be her knight from now on. But hearing it directly from her lips made everything feel like a mere fantasy. Afraid that pinching my cheek might shatter this illusion, I frowned as I looked at Irene.

“…So, when you say you’ll be counting on me from now on.”

“It means you’ll continue to be my knight. Soon you’ll be officially appointed.”

At those words, I pinched my thigh and gritted my teeth at the stinging pain. This was reality. Surprisingly.

Were all my thoughts just misconceptions? But hadn’t she clearly stated that just a few days ago, she had been thinking of dismissing me? No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I tried not to displease her, that thought wouldn’t have changed.

What could have possibly changed her mind? Closing my eyes tightly before opening them again, I struggled to speak. I wanted to ask her why her thoughts had changed. It was a somewhat presumptuous question for a knight to ask, but Irene looked at me and slowly moved her lips.

“Well…”

“…Pardon?”

“I’m not sure myself. Why did my feelings change? At first, I certainly thought I didn’t like you.”

Indeed, when I first met Irene, her attitude toward me was nothing short of cold. If I made even the slightest mistake, she would give me a chilling look, and occasionally when I confused her title, she would click her tongue and pass by me indifferently. Though that hadn’t happened since I apologized at the tea party, her attitude toward me hadn’t clearly changed either.

It felt as if the mask covering her face was slowly crumbling away. Despite all my efforts, that mask that hadn’t shown even the tiniest crack was now falling apart, and the emotions beneath were beginning to peek through. Her blue eyes were no longer cold. Like a calm spring, they were more refreshingly cool than cold.

Those clear eyes reflected the night sky. Like twinkling stars, those eyes that had never sparkled before were now shining as they gazed at me. Her expression, which had been overshadowed, now seemed much more relieved, and whenever the corners of her mouth turned up, I found myself unconsciously looking away.

She had never smiled before, but now that she did, her beauty seemed particularly accentuated.

Her crimson lips, which didn’t match the night, curved into a smile once again. And when they did, I unconsciously swallowed and turned my head away. That smile flickered before me, making her seem to shine even brighter than the pale moon.

I wanted to keep asking her why her heart had changed, even though I hadn’t done anything particularly noteworthy. Why had she accepted me when she had intended to dismiss me? But it was meaningless now. She had made up her mind, and I was now her knight.

Probably until the moment she would face tragedy in the future.

As that thought crossed my mind, it felt as if a heavy stone had been placed on my chest. The tragedy she would face seemed so distant from the Irene who was smiling with a relieved expression now. How could such a woman meet such an end?

My chest felt inexplicably tight, and I closed my eyes, turning away from Irene who was looking at me. Through the awkward silence, the sound of waltz music from the banquet hall reached my ears. As the piano and violin melodies intertwined and penetrated my ears, a voice mixed with the waltz sound reached me.

“You look troubled. I’ve told you everything I can.”

“…It’s not your fault, my lady. My chest just feels a bit tight.”

Saying that, I gave a bitter smile. How could I possibly tell Irene that she would meet a miserable end later? It was a fact known only to me in this world.

Only me.

The loneliness conveyed by those words was greater than I had thought.

Even though Irene was beside me, I felt as if I were standing alone on this balcony. The dozens of empty, ownerless carriages below the balcony, the red leaves occasionally falling with the wind—all of these things seemed to make me feel lonely.

Only me.

After quietly murmuring those words, I turned my gaze to look at Irene. Perhaps because I hadn’t said anything, she was blankly staring into space, her face glistening with moonlight. Though her expression was still emotionless, unlike before, it was now filled with vitality, which was quite better than before.

I wish it could stay like this forever. From now on, continuously.

With my arms resting on the balcony and my chin propped up, I watched Irene as she stared into space. What was she chasing with her eyes? In this night that was merely dark, what was she seeing? As I was looking at her, her star-filled eyes met mine and rippled.

Our gazes met blankly in the empty space. After staring at each other blankly, I was the first to smile. Covering my mouth at the laughter that burst out without knowing why, Irene looked at me and spoke.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“…I’m not sure.”

I shrugged. Honestly, my mind was still just as complicated. But what could I do? There was nothing I could do right now.

“But I think it’s better than before.”

If I couldn’t do anything now, I could think about it later. Instead of frowning and biting my lips, I should take it easy. I still had five years left. Couldn’t I afford to be a bit more relaxed? For now, let’s just be grateful that my position as her knight was no longer precarious.

With a lighter heart, I let out a soft sigh, then raised my head toward the sky and closed my eyes tightly.

The wind hitting my cheeks felt nothing but refreshing.

#

Unlike when we came to the balcony, when we left, I was with Irene. As we walked down the corridor where not a single candle flickered, she suddenly stopped, and I followed suit.

“……”

Through the window gaping in the middle of the corridor, she stood still, her gaze fixed on the faint moonlight seeping through the gap. I followed her gaze to the window, but all I could see were a few stars perched on the dark sky.

We had just been looking at the sky plenty, so why did she stop to look again?

“My lady?”

“…Indeed, it resembles.”

What resembles what?

After looking at the window and then glancing at me, she left those cryptic words and started walking again.

“Let’s go now. It’s time to return to the duke’s mansion.”

Had it already become that time? I thought our time on the balcony was short, but perhaps it had been quite long. The sounds that should have been coming from the end of the dark corridor were no longer heard. The chatter of people and the melody of the waltz had long since quieted down.

I had been worried about making mistakes while talking to someone at the ball, but it ended rather anticlimactically. Was this why she suggested meeting on the balcony? All those noisy people had disappeared, and when we entered the banquet hall, all we saw were empty glasses rolling on the floor and maids cleaning them up.

I just felt a bit empty. Despite all the tension I had felt coming here, even practicing dancing while being scolded by Lize. Now that the ball had ended like this, I felt a sense of deflation. People can be bad at dancing, why did she get so angry? The fact that all those countless efforts had scattered like dust made me feel bitter, and after briefly looking at the empty banquet hall, I turned my gaze away.

I probably wouldn’t come here again. It was time to let go of any lingering attachments and leave cleanly. Perhaps I should be grateful that no one was around. If all those people had been here when we returned, it was obvious what kind of looks they would have given Irene and me returning alone.

Irene seemed to have no particular interest in this empty space, walking forward with her usual emotionless expression. Well, she had said she came just to show her face, so she probably didn’t have much thought about the ball itself.

As I followed her, I saw that all those many carriages had disappeared, and only one carriage remained. The thorn shield emblem on top of the carriage. As the horse, which had spotted us, neighed and shook its white mane, the carriage door flung open and the coachman walked out.

“You’ve arrived? Please get in. If we leave now, we should arrive before sunrise.”

The coachman, who seemed quite tired, probably from waiting for us, spoke as he grabbed the reins. At the mention of arriving before sunrise, I couldn’t help but sigh. To feel that bumping again. When would I ever get used to carriages?

As I got into the carriage, Irene, who was sitting across from me, stared at me. As if she had something to say, she kept moving her lips, and then finally spoke with difficulty.

“…You worked hard.”

“It was nothing.”

Was it so difficult for her to say those words? But I understood why. Even after going somewhere, Irene had rarely said such things to me. But saying I worked hard was a bit contradictory. There wasn’t really anything to work hard at in the first place.

So I smiled faintly, and Irene, who was staring at me, turned her head and closed her mouth.

Did she worry so much just to say that one thing? Suddenly remembering that she was 15 years old, I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was an age to be shy. Although her actions seemed quite mature, she was still just a young child.

As I turned my head, what came into view was the Crystal Palace rising high toward the moon. Earlier, I had shrunk with tension at the sight, but now I felt nothing. It was just a moment that had passed.

If I were to reminisce later, I would probably remember it as the day Irene fully acknowledged me as her knight. A princess and her knight. It was both amusing and somewhat pleasing that this obvious relationship had been properly acknowledged after a full three months.

Would it be too exaggerated to say my heart was swelling? The fact that my efforts hadn’t been in vain tickled my heart, and I touched the corners of my mouth that were twitching upward.

It felt like this was just the beginning. It had been three months since I met her, and the memory of not being able to meet her eyes at first was still so vivid. She herself had called me her knight and asked for my continued support.

As I turned my head away from the Crystal Palace, I saw Irene leaning against the carriage with her eyes closed. Her breathing was gentle, and her expression was completely different from the cold one she had when we got off the carriage. Her face was as comfortable and gentle as the smile she had given me on the balcony. Unlike how she was always on guard around others at the duke’s mansion, it was quite fascinating to see her let her guard down in front of me.

“I’m not sure why I feel this way myself… but somehow, I feel at ease when I’m with you.”

Did she know? That one sentence she had spoken had caused a greater ripple in me than any other words. To the one who uniquely knew and mourned her death, that one sentence felt more precious than anything else.

Now I had become her knight, and she had acknowledged this relationship. Whether I wanted it or not, I was now in a position where I had to be intertwined with her fate. The pressure that came with that thought was quite heavy. As her knight, would I be able to protect her?

Looking out the window, I saw the dawn beginning to rise. My expression, as I looked at that brilliant signal announcing the beginning of life’s pulsations again, was probably quite complex. But I shook my head and shook off my complicated thoughts.

It was a simple matter to think about. If neither the female lead nor the crown prince had started moving in earnest yet, couldn’t everything be prevented? I, who could only sympathize with her situation, had now become her knight.

If I wanted to do it, I could achieve it.

The blackened sky, the moon and stars floating in that sky. But what caught my eye even more was the faint dawn visible at the end. Now the darkness was ending, and it was time for bright lights to color the world again.

I wished Irene could be like that too. Imagining removing all the tragedies that would be in front of her, I could only smile faintly.