Chapter 227 – Lucille and Lucia

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It’s been several months since I became the masochistic heroine, ‘Lucia’, who really enjoys self-harm.

And those few months were enough time to adapt to this new body.

Everything that once felt unfamiliar now feels natural.

It means that the blonde girl I see in the mirror every day is no longer a ‘stranger’ but ‘me’.

The golden hair, always glossy and undamaged due to super regeneration. Soft pink eyes. Skin so pale it’s as if it’s never seen the sun. The subtly noticeable curves of my chest.

These were all things that had no connection to the original ‘me’, but now I’ve come to accept them all as part of ‘myself’.

That’s why it feels a little strange to feel a sense of dissonance from the girl in front of me.

The same face. The same body. The same voice. Lucille and Lucia are the same person.

The only difference is the name and identity they’re called by. If she and I were to face each other, it should feel like looking in a mirror.

But somehow, it’s different.

She and I are out of sync in some way.

Even with the same face, the atmosphere is completely different.

To the point where, at a glance, you might not even realize we’re the same person.

“Nice to meet you.”

Lucille smiled faintly as she spoke.

It was an empty smile, as if it could shatter at any moment.

“I’d like to catch up if I could… but I’m sorry. I don’t have much time left.”

As she said.

The time allotted to her wasn’t much.

It was like forcibly keeping a candle lit that was about to go out… Wait, how do I know this?

“But I’m glad I can at least tell you everything I need to.”

“…A remnant. You’re a remnant of Lucille, aren’t you?”

The girl in front of me isn’t Lucille herself. The ego and soul of the blessed saintess have eroded to the point where nothing remains of the original.

What’s left is a mere fragment. A trace of what was once Lucille. The girl speaking to me now is a remnant of Lucille… The information surfaced in my mind as if I’d always known it.

“That’s right. I’m a trace of Lucille. Her final will. A remnant left behind.”

“Are you… directly shoving information into my head…?”

“Yes, it saves time.”

I see. She’s already used up most of the time she can function. To show me Lucille’s memories.

The time she has left is no more than a few minutes. Even if she can think and reason, she’s still just a remnant. A trace left behind. And traces eventually disappear with time.

…The sensation of understanding information I didn’t know moments ago is truly mysterious.

It feels like I’ve always known it but had just forgotten for a moment. Since Lucille and I share the same body, this is possible.

“Lucia. I know what you’re worried about. But you don’t need to be so concerned.”

She smiled bitterly.

It was a smile like shattered porcelain.

“You’re not a personality derived from me.”

I’ve had that thought before.

If I’ve become ‘Lucia’, then who made me ‘Lucia’?

No, wait. There’s no effect without a cause, right?

One day, I became the heroine of a novel. I’m not foolish enough to believe it just happened by chance.

There must be someone who put me into Lucia’s body, right? The answer to the riddle that seemed unsolvable was now being presented to me.

“A new wind brought by the seasons.”

It was the Gods of the Four Seasons who made me Lucia.

“A new soul dwelling in an empty vessel.”

The reason I was chosen was because my soul resembled Lucille’s.

“A new blessed saintess.”

Because Lucille was broken.

A replacement was needed.

After all, only her soul was worn out—her body was still intact, right?

So why not reuse it?

I think I understand why Yoo-seong is wary of the seasons now.

“Since Lucille can no longer serve as the needle of causality, they wanted to make me the new needle?”

The infinitely repeating regression.

The loop designed by the noble prince Agares.

It was a device meant to ensure the devils’ victory, but with the intervention of the seasons, it became a prison of time, endlessly repeating the same period without meaning.

But if the needle fixing causality is removed, countless variables will arise.

Humanity’s victory can no longer be guaranteed, and a future where the devils win might come to pass.

From the perspective of the seasons, they’d want to avoid that worst-case scenario at all costs, so they made me the new needle of causality… Wait?

“The important thing is Lucille’s body…? Then why did they need to summon me…?”

I tilted my head, puzzled by the information seeping into my mind.

Now that I think about it, that’s true. Even when Lucille’s personality was completely burned to ashes, there was no issue with her function as the needle of causality.

There was no reason to pick me up from another world and bring me here.

That’s strange. The Gods of the Four Seasons aren’t the type to do meaningless things…

No, they’re not gods who would act without purpose. If they brought me here and placed me in Lucille’s body, there must have been a reason.

“That’s right. The seasons don’t do meaningless things.”

Lucille became a doll.

A doll that only responds to external stimuli based on stored memories.

Her heart is still beating, but she can no longer be said to be alive.

But from the perspective of the seasons, it didn’t matter.

As long as the role of the needle of causality was fulfilled, there was no problem.

“The 374,104,561 regressions I had to endure.”

That’s the number of times the two-year period was repeated.

“There is no 374,104,562nd regression.”

Because even a fixed causality has its limits.

“Even in the labyrinth of time created by Agares, there was an exit.”

Finally, the regression has reached its end.

This is the final loop.

The end of the loop Lucille so desperately longed for.

But unfortunately, she couldn’t escape the loop.

Her mind was already gone. Only her body remained, her personality dead. She withered away without reclaiming tomorrow.

Under the watchful eyes of the seasons. For a saintess who once prayed for the salvation of the world, her end was not just tragic—it was horrifying.

“That’s why the seasons made you ‘Lucia’.”

For the time after the regression ends.

Once the repeating time ends, Lucille will no longer even be a doll.

The reason she seemed alive was due to the memories imprinted on her body. It was because she recreated the experiences accumulated through regression.

But once the regression ends and tomorrow arrives, Lucille’s experiences will become useless.

Of course, it’s hundreds of millions of years of time. She’s experienced all sorts of events, so there might not be an immediate problem.

But eventually, there will be a limit. The moment someone from the outside notices her changes. For example, the God of War Yoo-seong. Or Eugene, who will one day be called the Heavenly God.

If they learn of the seasons’ atrocities, whose side will the chosen blade turn to?

…So that’s why they possessed me and showed me Lucille’s memories.

To make me act like Lucille.

“The fact that Lucille’s worn-out will remains as a remnant is the arrangement of the seasons. The fact that Lucille’s remnant knows information Lucille herself didn’t is because the seasons told her. And Lucille, your final role is…”

“To erase all your memories and make you a new Lucille. That’s the order the seasons gave me.”

“The time when I was assimilated into Lucille’s memories…”

“Yes, the seasons ordered it. I carried it out faithfully.”

A strange chill ran down my spine, making me shiver. There was a time when I tried to read Lucille’s memories without realizing the danger and was nearly consumed by them.

If I hadn’t been thrown out of the memories at that time, I would have been completely assimilated.

The personality of ‘me’ would have been erased, and Lucille’s memories would have taken its place. If that had happened, I would have become the new Lucille.

“Why didn’t you do it? You had plenty of opportunities to erase me.”

The reason I was thrown out of the memories was because Lucille had pushed me out.

After that, Lucille, who had chased me out, used her own hands to push me back into the memories.

From that point on, the erosion of the memories stopped. I was able to read Lucille’s memories as a third party.

I didn’t understand. She had deliberately stopped the memory erosion. She had violated the seasons’ orders.

“Hehehe.”

Lucille laughed lightly.

This time, there was a faint hint of life in her laughter.

“Do I have any reason to follow the orders of those damn bastards?”

“Not… really…?”

“Exactly. No reason at all.”

Lucille’s tone was so crude that I couldn’t help but be taken aback. Her words were a bit shaky. Uh, isn’t that kind of language a bit too vulgar for a saintess? Huh? Don’t worry about it?

“Why did those damn bastards think I’d faithfully follow their orders? After they pushed me into that hell. After they ignored every single prayer for salvation.”

Her emotions and memories surged over me like a fierce wave.

At first, Lucille had carried out the seasons’ orders, but it didn’t take long for her to change her mind.

‘Why should I act in a way that benefits the seasons? If anything, I should do the opposite. The blessed saintess is already dead. Because of you.’

“If the gods have turned their backs on me, now it’s my turn to turn my back on them.”

Oh gods who abandoned me.

This is my answer to you.

“Go fuck yourselves.”

That was the final message from the girl who was once a saintess to the gods.

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
As she went through repeated regressions, Lucille naturally became more harsh.

There was even a time where she only spoke in curses.

Namely, Yandere Lucille!

Maso Lucia is the final destination.

There were all kinds of Lucille during the process.

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
If you think about it, isn’t it ironic that Eugene’s ability is just a weaker version of Lucille’s?